Saturday, December 26, 2009

I LOVE Venus in Aquarius people.

LOL after an intensive in depth study across the entire spectrum of the zodiac for the past couple years, my conclusion is Venus in Aqua peeps are THE BEST, my absolutely favourite!!! I was so happy to meet two in a row recently...may I encounter many many more :-)

I've also noticed that everybody has definite patterns about them if you examine their social history and they always attract and repel certain types.

For me my favourites of the zodiac would probably be aries, aquarius, virgo, taurus, scorpio, leo, pisces, libra, saggittarius....all the others, eh I could take them or leave them I think.

This is one of my endless fascinations...the funny part is that my insights have become so "coincidental" that often now, women only bother to contact me when they want some kind of astrological info...usually consulting me about whether someone is suitable for them, lol...I really should look into it as a side business- but then, I'd feel so guilty for charging people when I have so much fun doing it, lol!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Not There, Not There...

and the $64 million dollar question is whether there is a "yet" to punctuate that sentence?

Geez, how the hell should I know?

In any case, all I know is that I am masochistic, cos this baby

is HAUNTING ME daily...a calendar my mum gave discomforts me like nothing else but I figure I need to toughen up, so I keep it open...

In any case the humidity and heat here is draining, but I have to pull my melted jello self together so I can make some summery Christmas TRIFLE...

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays by the way, if you're reading this.

I feel overwhelmed already.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Everyone needs a purpose

I felt a bit lost and despondent cos of various triggers since coming back...I guess I always feel like this in this city.

In any case, I received a sincere request for help...which reminded me of my higher a healer. And the broader perspective was gained again and everything else was forgotten.

I'm glad to have the anchor. And my friends the rocks, while I, the sea, ebb and flow around them.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Fantasy Vs. The Reality

I don't know why I feel guilty but I just do. I guess cos society has so many expectations for how we should be.

In any case I experienced what it is like to have a puppy for an hour...and despite how cute they are and how much I like to look at them...they're just like babies...alot of work, commitment and ENERGY required!

Maybe Free Spirits just can't be tied down by ANYTHING less than amazing.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Kids who have EVERYTHING.

As I was trolling through the toy aisles last night looking for replacement gifts cos my niece and nephew already had the things I had initially gotten, I felt such an inner sense that buying them even more STUFF was in some way just plain WRONG! And that I was just plain contributing to landfill...Definitely, kids these's ridiculous...and if you can relate, I urge you to clean out those oversized toyrooms and start culling the masses of unused items and donate them to kids who don't even have one toy, let alone five types of the one type stacked and arranged in purpose built rumpuses by colour...

This is exactly why my ideal vision if it ever includes my own kids, is to raise them somewhere far removed from all of this excess materialism and consumerism where playing and happiness are free and fosters real creativity and resourcefulness.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Oh WOW, Technology!

Spent all last night engrossed in the wonders of video calling from my wireless laptop. Actually the time was so inappropriate I think my neighbours were banging through the walls, lol. A chick chatting can actually be pretty bad noise pollution when one is trying to sleep...

My "designer" and I were doing that whole virtual remote thing trying to knock out my card...cos deadlines are calling!

In any way, for me, luddite I am, it was a bit of a case of a Three stooges style self-sabotage so it was pretty funny trying to get it all working and functional actually.

I'm feeling very blessed with my friends...seems like I have some kind of support for everything I do lately- foreign and strange-but I LIKE IT!

Friday, December 18, 2009

People love to call me "Darling"

I wonder if you ever get to an age where you're too old to be called "Darling" by insignificant others?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

What is a "Squeam"?

a squirm + a scream!

LOL, I am one easily amused gal! ;)

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Empathic Resonance!

You know you have great friends when you feel like slime dripping down a wall and your friends are all around to buy you icecream, drinks, make sure you eat, use their $500 mobile credits to call you and listen to you vent hours of existential crisis at any time of day...and best of all...feel your traumas so personally they even end up being haunted in their dreams as if your crisis was their own! Now that's what I call "Empathic Resonance"....the true sign of a GOOD FRIEND, lol :-D

In any case, I'm exhausted...

Suddenly I became Miss Popularity, or maybe it's cos its the holidays and I'm the only loser still in I'm some rare available company...

Sunday, November 29, 2009


I'm envying cold blooded creatures.

Apart from that the highlight of my weekend besides conscientious meditation was seeing a poor full sized full haired Old English sheepdog (twice) who I'm sure must navigate with his nose cos I sure couldn't see any eyes (and I looked very carefully!)

Dinner was an alfresco Moroccan meal with a view of the ocean. I particularly liked all the ornamental decorations and all the little clay dishes especially those pointy lid things whatever they're called. Unfortunately though, my couscous still tastes better ;)

Friday, November 27, 2009

Rude, but Funny.

Oh yeah with all that ranting and raving I forgot the one thing that brought a wry smile to my face-it came in the mailbox as usual...

It was a letter.

From my health fund. Asking me to consider upgrading my insurance policy to include pregnancy and childbirth services...yeah right!!! I hardly think it possible when there is nobody I'd even want to touch with a 10foot bargepole in this city :p

In any case I thought, unsolicited, it made for a a pretty rude mail offering...but I guess their computer automatically generates these "cordial invitations" once a female hits a certain age...

geez, if I think about it, it's pretty offensive!!!

Shan, I'd like to hear what your reaction would have been...

p.s I think I definitely live up to the title "Grandma" cos I still can't bring myself to buy a pair of shorts to wear under my arty dress cos they are all SO SHORT! lol, the irony.

She who wears a Scowl on her face...Part 2.


geez, no wonder I was so keen to banish myself to some remote paradise and be a hermit since a tender age...

This is what happened last night...

I was sitting at home watching the Amazing Race when I heard a key turning in my door-that's strange I thought I went and looked in my peephole and there was some random lout trying all my neighbours doors as well! Not only that but he came back and tried my door again! I was standing on the other side of the door just watching- as usual I couldn't even speak, I couldn't believe how BRAZEN the guy was, to try while people are at home! In any case, I was thoroughly creeped out and didn't sleep well all night.

Apart from that yesterday, I also discovered a bit of an animal activist I didn't even realise I had in me except I found myself confronting a pet shop person about the abominable state of the animals in her shop...she was pretty pissed TOTAL DENIAL maintaining her animals are healthy...geez do you really think it takes a vet to see that animals aren't in great condition??!!!

In any case I felt so angry...yet was horrible. Later I saw one of the usual bums on the street asking for money for a bed for the night. I thought to myself seeing as I cared enough to speak out for the animals surely I should care about the human being too? No was the sad reply in my head...children and animals are innocent but adult humans rarely are...

in any case after a particularly bad week in the city, I am just thoroughly disgusted with the state of humanity here...I guess that is why I will devote 10 hours of this weekend to meditation...cos I think I NEED IT!!! Definitely, I am turning into a misanthrope. Hopefully I will find some fellow evolved spiritual types that can give me back some faith in fellow human beings in this part of the world.

In any case today I am playing it safe...not even going to exit my door, that way I have less chance to have a reason to get pissed off!!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

She who wears a scowl on her face...

It is only a constant in the city...promise!

Can you guess WHY?

It is cos of all the bad daily interactions with the rest of its sh*tty inhabitants.

Went to my first ballet tonight which would have been a great evening had I not encountered some scumbag who actually GRABBED me by the arm!!!

How dare he TOUCH was at that moment in the video screen of my mind I was holding a baseball bat and beating the living daylights out of him!!!

But instead I uttered a few clumsy words and when he persisted to harrass me gave a stare which probably = a death glare- whatever the case, it worked.

I still feel seriously PISSED OFF though and as soon as I came home I soaped my arm with antiseptic soapwash!

I HATE THE CITY!!! :-ppp

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I'm just not cut out to be a...Geek!

In fact, I only just qualify as a Nerd.

Apparently in the relativity stakes, I am too cool for I'm not as Super Nerd as I once fancied myself to be.

ANYWAY...yesterday I thought I entered Geek Territory cos I finally worked out what Google Chrome is and got all excited about it since it makes life so much quicker.

Even dandier I discovered....there are PORTABLE foldup full sized keyboards (inherited from my geek relative), hysterical- I was pretty intrigued actually...

I also got his old Palm...but alas I can't get it to quite work with my laptop...damn I think it's not any case it was a sense of familiarity being reunited with a Palm Device...I inherited one ages ago and used it until it busted so I am totally au fait with all the "Graffiti" business... I got this one since I thought it would come in handy with mobile business now...In any case even if the Hotsynching doesn't work, I think it's cool to save a few trees cos BOY do I burn through a whole lot of paper with how much I write on a daily basis!

In other things, I had a really IRRITATING GRATING kind of day of those I hate the city and all its inhabitants kinds of days...cos the first person I happened to encounter today was one of those completely negative vibes kinds of conspiracy theorist "the world is out to get me" persons...these people grate like nothing else, cos they are always on the defensive you can't even have a decent conversation or ask an innocent question.

I am so glad I rarely meet these people... I can't stand them! They whinge they whine about how they always attract horrible people to them...geez, I wonder WHY? We Happy Positive Beans get a 30s whiff of them and feel so bad we don't want to stick around!

Hello Baby!

Meet Tofu :)

Not MY dog exactly, but kind of in a six degrees of separation, defacto kind of way, haha...

It's nice to dream...

Sunday, November 22, 2009

To be Honest...

Update: 23 November 2009...and just half a day later, the ambient temperature is just HALF that of yesterday....*sigh of relief*...My Sanity Can Finally Be Restored!!!

I'm just here now to GRIZZLE.



This is actually the hottest I recall ever experiencing in Oz...I have never had so much discomfort from clothes sticking to my butt!

And I've never felt so unconcerned to just go around scantily not do so would be friggin INSANE!

In any case, the one highlight of my day was a delightful little Turkish meal. What a great way to tantalise the tastebuds- I'd say the flavoursome flavours are definitely up there with my favourite food...Spanish!!!

I dared venture out to the beach about 6pm but it was still packed and the water temperature compared to the ambient temperature was just too disparate so I didn't end up going swimming- also the waves were way too rough...

I'm really tired of this sweat sticking me and my clothes to everything- this beiing the 3rd day in the's just all getting...tiring!

The only people enjoying this heat blast I think would be those airconditioned businesses...seriously everybody goes to the shopping mall to hide in the shelter of the relative cool...and with nothing else to do those tills just ring big!

Diffuseness and The Grey Zone...

I've always been a black and white kinda gal. But I notice myself moving into the Grey Zone...I guess that is a sign of...maturity?

But in any case I notice that being diffuse as opposed to polar can actually make for quite a dull personality. I was talking to two chick friends of mine...and they kind of got into a slightly heated discussion.

In any case I love a good intellectual discussion(not argument) so I was still trying to contribute my 2c here and there, but in the end I realised I wasn't taking a side and it was just BORING! Not to mention the two sparring bulls had stopped listening to my input since I was not helping either of their cause...

I think I noticed I just have this ability to be readily able to see both sides of an argumemt especially where there isn't an abhorrent lack of ethics or amorality involved. So in the end I just fencesit cos to me neither is right or wrong! I think this can piss off the more emotional and unobjective brains of normal females...

I guess in this sense I can be that grey kind of open minded...I guess it's a good thing to move away from monochromatic extremes...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Yep, this is what I call HOT!

the last 24 hours or more my pants have stuck to my butt cos of...sweat! and that's just doing deskwork...yep, that's disgusting!

I think there is a valid case for nudity in this country...

Friday, November 20, 2009

Are there any Life Path number 22s out there?

I'm starting to feel like a super duper alien...and as a rare life path number 11, apparently the only major compatibility I have with anybody is if they are a very rare 22...

I am just yet to meet one....but possibly one of you blogger friends might be one?

In any case sometimes I think being a supercharged master number is a bit of a burden- I want someone to moan and whine to that will understand...

p.s I got a nifty little cheap compact that is not such an anxiety to take travelling...Panasonic Lumix FS4. For how cheap it is, I'm pretty happy- and as my first tiny baby camera ever, boy am I relieved about the portability and snapability!! In any case, that makes 4 to my camera family...Welcome, Fred!

Love from Buddy(Canon Rebel SLR), Neo(Canon G3) and Horace(Ailing Canon 450D DSLR).

You will notice Fred is the first diversion from the Canon family...although Canon do make good snappy cams, I've had so many issues with Horace from the word GO, I decided to take my business elsewhere for a spin...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

How short is too short?

If you have been in any women's clothing store in the last two years here, you would have noticed the "look" here has been getting progressively more and more skanky e.g tops are down to HERE, skirts and shorts are UP TO HERE, Heels are Sky High, Tops are all see through and/or sexified cuts. If you even want to dress even half way conservative and not dowdy, well, it can be a bit of a challenge...and frankly, YOU are the weirdo, not the norm!

So anyway, I spied this...arty dress...ooh it was so pretty and SO IMPRACTICAL it had about 1000 sequins on it and Tassels! I said, ARTY!!! In any case when I tried it actually looked good, it actually FIT and was...attractively arty! Only problem was...boy was it ever...SHORT! It only just covered my ass...and definitely not when I sit!

But in my artistic appreciation, I rationalised I could wear shorts or jeans under it...when I'm outside, and that in all reality, it would probably end up hanging in my wardrobe most of the year like my Infamous green coat which cost a bomb and which I admire hanging there most of the year cos it is too "nice" to wear out into the dirty smelly streets...

So basically, my question short is too short?!!! Should I keep it or return the just covers ass any case haha when I put it on I was like ha impressive! this "past her prime girl" can so pull off a just covers ass dress! LOL, do I sound like a woman on the verge of their almost 30 midlife crisis? yikes

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Contradiction in Terms...

I felt wildly batty like Gene Wilder in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when at 8.30pm at night, I suddenly decided "I feel like a Night-time picnic!"

The best part was, my friend who was in the area and her friend actually came! LOL To be honest though, it's only cos I've known her since school...they both thought I'm kinda crazy except that she has had many years to get used to the way I am -lol!

I realised perhaps when I have leeway to act on whims and Be My Eccentric Self is when I feel Happiest. Just, usually I am so between Busy-Exhausted, that I had forgotten about this quintessential aspect of myself.

The funniest part was after lounging on the grass under the stars eating chocolate custard like Boho at its best, when arriving home I checked my mail....and my tickets to the Ballet had arrived!

LOL I guess this is why there is that saying "A Contradiction in Terms" or a "Walking Contradiction".

p.s another "on a whim" carried out today...I've signed up for an entire weekend of about hardcore!*LOL


I think I am so used to being so sheltered and protected my whole life, now, I have absolutely no idea how to deal with confrontational situations myself....arghhh!

On a cheerier note, unwind with this fantastic band I just discovered who have a very happy go lucky relaxing style of music...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Business Card!

Okay, so it's not actually done yet but I've seen the first mockup done by my very talented graphic designer friend....arghhhh-so exciting!!!

Hopefully when all the edits have been done and it's printed it'll look even more fabulous!!

I feel so dumb that despite having a degree in digital media I have NO IDEA how to do my own business card....however, I DO have a great eye so yeah this way works well too...and I am SO LUCKY my friend is all new eager beaver making a portfolio so is doing it for free!

I will shout her to a nice dinner or show though...I can only just remember the countless hours I used to spend rubbing out pixels in a prior life :P

Friday, November 13, 2009

All Crazy Business

I think the electrical storm vibe went to my head. I have exciting plans in mind, the first of which is going to a remote destination I randomly dreamt about quite some years ago....just curious ;)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Exciting, Lucky!

So, yesterday when I woke up with 6 rainbows next to my head I was....coooool!

Today I was blessed with an amazing sight...not one but TWO whales frolicking in the ocean- so much that you could actually see the two tails come way out into the air!!! I've seen a whale or two before but to see two together frolicking so much out of the water...that was truly special....

I also witnessed an amazing electrical storm....this was fantastic! Not heeding warnings however, I also got COMPLETELY DRENCHED, but it was incredibly cleansing being out in so much electrical activity and rain-much better than a usual drenching from pouring rain...very rejuvenating!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I'm still pooped.

And I've been feeling thoroughly demoralised about the state of the world and the vast majority of the rest of the human species...

I hate being idealistic.

In any case, when I woke up there were 6 rainbows next to my head!!! So yeah, that's gotta make you feel marginally better, RIGHT?

Also, starting on my bday I've seen 1111 SO MANY, the spiritual burden some of us have to bear...

I wish the rest of the world could be good too. Maybe, if I want to shelter in a bubble of a virtuous community of humans, I need to go join a monastery, or something!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

...Crumples into Exhausted Heap...

So, this is the first bday I am entering (tomorrow technically) where I don't have something pressing hanging over my head- YEEHAH!

In any case I'm looking forward to sleeeeep- been so crazy busy...but finished 1.5 days ago- since I have to get teeth work part 2 done later today I celebrated together with end of exams with my bday twin! It was pretty cool...cos we like exactly the same things so we started out in a boardgames cafe playing Pictionary over milkshakes, then paella and sangria at my favourite Spanish place(yay I finally worked out what the secret flavour in their sangria's something like chinotto- (sweet with refreshing bitter aftertaste)...then as we were about to leave out came the flamenco dancers which was pretty cool(but I felt exhausted just watching them exert so much raw energy).

Cos we ate way too much we then took a walk where, to our delight they were blowing fireworks off the Opera House-not bad! All in all, it was a REALLY good night...and now, I can finally crumple into an exhausted heap and then finally give my place a good clean and do the laundry before I run out of underwear...and then make up for all that accumulated lost sleep cos otherwise I don't have enough energy to do all the fun things I have on my list which I've spent the whole year dreaming about and compiling...

Thursday, November 5, 2009


I was reading about how Nicole Kidman burnt all her old journals...which caused me to open and flick through one of my old ones...I came across this excerpt:

Sometimes certain words will conjure up strong images - sometimes full on video clips in my mind....whenever I hear the word COMMITMENT I imagine being a cockroach or a mouse/rat scurrying on the kitchen floor or through pipes and along skirting boards where human hands can't reach them. Occasionally the rat gets caught by its tail picked up, stared at, it stares back blanky and then wriggles away again, making for the nearest warm nook and cranny to take shelter...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A Little Giggle

Before I stick my head on the chopping block anyway :P

I was checking my cooler blog and noticed that if you type in "what if I smell pot on a student" you can get to it...also "can't stop sneezing cold" and "I smell of pot". LOL, glad to know that blog is of such great community service...

at the end of the day...INNOCENT(unless proven guilty).

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Old Soul=Party Pooper?

Being an old soul stuck in a young case stuck in a young soul society....sheesh sometimes I feel like such a party pooper, but I can't help it. We just have different interests, values and for the most part we just want PEACE AND QUIET free from the drama, chaos and seeming triviality of our surrounds. This was pretty much the pertinent conversation B'day Twin and I had sitting under a shady tree for a few hours instead of cramming like we should really be doing...

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Hit a Wall

I am SO SICK of studying. I am SOOOOOO bored. So bored in fact I was getting all these crazy ideas...of how to relieve my boredom...

*Blergh! Self Discipline...

Apart from that only interesting thing that happened lately was that someone randomly told me I have a yellow aura-what the hell is that I wondered?

Apparently...SPIRITUAL FREEDOM!!! :)

Saturday, October 31, 2009

I want a Mini Snoopy!

Is this the cutey-est dog you have ever seen or WHAT?


p.s SHAU BAI means "little white"- apparently it is an incredibly generic asian dog's name...

p.p.s Not sure how easy it is to get this breed "coton de tulear" esp down here...

Thursday, October 29, 2009

This is my new favourite German word...

To recap though, my very favourite German word is Schadenfreude. But that is old news.

So I have found a new favourite German word...Verliebtheit!!!

Beautiful, isn't it?!

Still never as beautiful as the French or Spanish language though....*sigh.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

It's called...BOHO, y'know?!

So, after that horrible sleep deprivation due to all that design play last night I wasn't in any kind of mood to really care for a conscious existence...

So my girlfriend says to me this afternoon:

"What's with the HAIR?!!!"

To which I replied:

"What's WITH the hair?"


LOL, I think I am so sick of how superficial, vacuous and shallow and APPEARANCE obsessed people in this city are...for sure it started with me being lazy and unkempt and can't be bothered but NOW, it's more kind of like...maybe I do it just to be subversive!!!

In any case, I had the gall to rock up to one of the wankiest clubs in this city in jeans and shoes that technically yeah, a little messy unsymmetrical pony tail with lots of fly away strands everywhere at, that's NOTHING!

Oh My Gosh...Really!

It's 1:49am. And I have an exam tomorrow. But I have been too busy to sleep...playing at my latest FAD....SO FUN!!! Best discovery since the Mr Squiggle Drawing Tool...

I will publish some of my patterns, when I shouldn't be sleeping, or studying :P

Love from, WannaBEE artist! x

Monday, October 26, 2009


In all honesty I'm kinda babied out- my other sis just got preggers. Between my siblings and my two cousins this will be the NINTH baby to pop out averaging at least 1 every 6 months! Hmmm....I think it's just a bit there such thing as "too much of a good thing"?

My grandmaly brain is already going into convulsions trying to remember all their names and keep track of birthdays!

I am feeling terrified about Christmas...8 babies under the age of 5 in one room.

I think we should start our own family creche.

Meanwhile, Zhen slips out and does a runner...far far away! Babies mean RESPONSIBILITY, TIED DOWN, LIFE LONG BURDENS....arghhhh!

Truly Terrifying Stuff!!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Carpe Diem!

Say what you wanna say,
Do what you wanna do...
Cos Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal!

Love from, Miss "I missed the boat" x

Shared astrology.

It is so funny when you are constantly in touch with someone who shares your astrology...

you typically have the same kinds of is very fun to have someone to share similar life experiences with.

For twin is so quiet...I was exactly the same at her age...I was as quiet as a mouse up until the age of 16...then I squeaked a little on occasion but only found my full blown voice and subsequently started spewing verbal diarrhoea cascades to make up for lost time possibly around the age of 24...and haven't looked back since!

Part of me thinks I should go back a little cos if anything, I think it would be wiser to keep my mouth SHUT more!

And she also seems to have been affected by the "beauty-full" astrology transit...and yes, she too is a complete and utter social retard LOL!

lol coincidences and their consequences are such fun to have someone to share and laugh about with...cos everybody else just looks at you and raises an eyebrow... :p

Saturday, October 24, 2009


I was cutting up some meat today...and I just suddenly felt thoroughly disgusted...I think eventually I am headed for a life of vegetarianism...but I think it'll have to be gradual...I think I will at least get to a stage I will stop cooking meat and only eat it outside just to not be a pain in the ass for other people to accommodate me, and also not to offend the asian-ness in my family...asians love their meat!!!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Beauty-Full Astrology

LOL, I thought I noticed more attention than normal these last 2 days or so...but I thought perhaps it was all in my head. But today two people I actually know complimented me on appearance. The weird part is that being my usual dero self in tshirt, jeans and flip flops, stinking of therapeutic weed and with ungroomed hat hair, I wasn't exactly sure as to how I could attribute this seemingly new found "attractiveness"...

The funniest "explanation"?

Apparently Venus has just gone into being a Scorpio, my horoscope says I will be at my peak attractiveness, LOL!

Considering I have had such minimal sleep since Tuesday night due to dental agony PLUS got overdosed with anaesthetic and pain killers and have been clasping an ice pack to my one inflamed cheek much of the day to stave off any more drug induced blurry consciousness....between the two crazy alternatives...I really have to go with the nonsensical astrology explanation....

Just imagine, if anaesthetic overdose and pain killers really did make one more aesthetically what a boon to the pharmaceutical industry!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I miss Nerds...

I discovered this guilty indulgence- reality tv show BEAUTY AND THE GEEK...absolutely hysterical!!!

Honestly, I gotta admit, it made me realise I really miss the company of sweet Hardcore Nerds and Geeks...

Unless you infiltrate a full on science research lab, I have no idea where you can find them in a general population. I guess like me probably at home staring at their laptops and downloading more fascinating information, lol, or else playing computer games. Unfortunately in my line of work people are too cool...they don't have that social awkwardness and effervescent passion for some really obscure nerdy interest like Hardcore Nerds and Geeks do...boring!

I noticed that more than anything what I am wanting most in other people is a high level of that kind of academic nerdy intelligence I've grown up with...a real challenge to find these days...students currently seem to be more into booze, partying and working to fund materially lavish lifestyles.

I also think people these days are ultra concerned with superficies and do everything to hide any signs of inner Nerdiness...I wish people would just embrace their Nerdiness! ^^ After all, people like me find Nerds so endearing...

In this city, they seem to be a dying breed though :P

Breathing through your pain.

LOL, today it occurred to me that this was a good dress rehearsal if ever I happen to have a natural labour. The breathing through your pain thing- focusing and concentrating all your qi into one part of your body and breathing through your abdomen.

I still can't feel my nose properly yet. That's how much anaesthetic I got drugged with.

The past 48 hours or so have been unbelievable all consuming pain and believe me I have had some bad pain like the time my leg got operated on down to the bone with only a topical anaesthetic....

A journey into the pain body is a whole other world...I guess it's cos it forces you into that all elusive "presence"- in any case now coming out the other end I feel incredibly detached from the normal world, like nothing else matters. So in a way it's good I can just chill out and take a much needed breather and leave the wordly worries and deadlines for another day.

And I noticed something...if you're going to have pain, TEETH pain, specifically trigeminal nerve pain has got to be one of the WORST kinds of pains to bear. This is cause it is searing and comes and such a way even constant pain is easier to handle cos at least when it is that all consuming you can just "go into it" almost like a meditation and just breathe...when it comes and goes like a wave the relativity of pain and no pain = PAIN!

So to cut a long story short...the nerve in my tooth got killed today. And I think I feel better for it. Fingers crossed x.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

People are...


So, it's that time of the year when everybody is stressed out.

It's interesting to notice how people vary in their ways of dealing...reasonable nice people like my birthday twin and I we keep it to ourselves...other, unreasonable people not only can't contain themselves but they direct it and lump it on others :p

Thank goodness I have someone with which to ride out the storm...

it is so TIRING when nobody in the world understands you.

We were cracking up over lunch reviewing the past week cos, I not being the most assertive person almost lost it yesterday when one of the rule nazis wouldn't let me satiate my basic needing FOOD cos I was getting so dizzy I was going to pass, I am really laid back but if you get in the way of my basic out- I'm just something waiting to implode...I don't get what's up with some people- they are so control freak rule nazis- they won't let you go eat, go pee...etc etc...

what the HELL is wrong with people?!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Time for a bit of a Shakeup.

I think some things are going to change around here (well not in internet space obviously)...but my's gotten a bit staid...and the holidays are coming...which means a bit of leewayto have one ;)

I'm kind of excited :)

p.s How weird I know 11 people currently in NYC- what's with that??! It's like if I went there I would know more people than I do in my own hometown! Maybe there's a case to defect hemispheres...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Too Close For Comfort

Maybe this is just our weird thing. My birthday twin made an interesting observation(interesting cos probably nobody else agrees but me)...that after a while if you know people too long, they get too comfortable with you, and end up telling you too much, things that were TMI(Too Much Information) and you didn't want or need to know in the first place...

I guess that's why we like to keep most people at arm's length...

It's just more comfortable that way.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I am a social retard, and other stories...

It struck me recently when we were talking about emotional intelligence in psych class, that I have none...and that this is typical of people who are highly intelligent in other ways...

In any case I was thinking back to before I became so busy that books governed my life...was I that much of a social retard? I'm not sure. Hence I was wondering if emotional intelligence is fluid...somehow I think that the more interaction you get the higher your EQ.

Somehow me thinks that spending all my time sticking my head in a book the past couple of years has vastly dimished my EQ...although to be honest I don't think it was ever so high to start with...I think high EQ favours extroverts or rather, people who aren't super introverts...

On another note- in a bit of an "Adventure" for me...I happened to see some pretty good looking fresh deboned ling fillets...not that I really eat fish or have ever cooked it but I guess I was feeling adventurous to try something new that day...

anycase I was shocked when two small pieces cost $16-sheesh! I am so glad I'm not a big fan of seafood...I had no idea how to cook fish so I asked my friend the daughter of a restauranteur-she had no idea except that she preferred steamed fish to fried fish...So I opted to bung the fish in my steamer- but how to flavour it??

I had to guess- So I put a little soy, a little sesame oil, a little chinese wine, some garlic, some chilli and some coriander and some salt...all in all- not bad for first time fish cooking!

I felt a bit guilty though...I didn't eat fish for the longest time from about the age of 4-22 (cos I was convinced "fish are my friends, not my food!") But now I realise it is very good for health especially for someone of my constitution...

But I think I'll go back to veggies tomorrow...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

This is why I fail at sushi...

I try and pack too much into it! :P

Apart from sushi, "implosion" seems to be the theme of the month...and at the moment it's centred on my brain- arghhhh!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Sometimes I wonder...

or actually not sometimes...always - just yesterday my friend asked "do you ever stop thinking?"

I guess it could be taken as a compliment though especially to the rationalists ;)

In any case, sometimes I wonder who the hell are the random people who are compelled to repeatedly visit my little blog here...

Really, I'm curious to know who you are...there are a couple of repeat visits I notice every now and again from mysterious locations that I can attribute to absolutely nobody I know.

Even people I know aren't interested enough to check into my blog let alone random introverted people...really, don't be shy- say HI! I really need to find more reasons to LIKE people and if you are strange enough to keep visiting, well that's interesting and weird and intriguing enough for me ;)

Fair's fair- you know all about me, I want to know all about YOU. Yes, You. Say Hello...I need some inspiration here...

Monday, October 12, 2009

Help! Born into the wrong generation...

Where can I find some oldies to save my sanity? Please....

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Gee I hate this weather.

I think since last saturday night I've gotten drenched and frozen in the wind every night. So yesterday I went out into the wet actually prepared: rugged up in full blown alpine jacket and golf umbrella...what an ass! didn't even rain!!!

In any case it's been really bad for the productivity levels- today so far all I've done is procrastinate on the net, feed myself(packet tofu marinated in soy honey and garlic-delicious, with steamed organic cauliflower and broccoli), do laundry and watch a french film "il y a longtemps que je t'aime" (very good I might add)!

This is crap, cos I have so much to do but I keep putting it off until the very last moment instead of sensibly getting things done while I can's like once born a lazy pig it's like pig gets stuck inside forever!

And in any case when it's so cold I go into "bear" mode -the only things evidently worth doing are sleeping and eating.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Ze World is My Oyster :)

I woke up feeling very excited about life...all the possibilities- possibilities you can only have when you have leeway to exercise a great amount of personal autonomy and freedom :)

In any case I got excited when I heard about the chance to experience life in a different part of the world, a very different part of the world, and where I could still be plying my trade...

In any case like everyone else I have no idea what the future holds but all the possibilities right now seem very exciting...and really quite diverse...only time will tell, I guess!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

In times of stress, Let her eat Cake!

Since Friday my consumption has been quite admirable...

Friday: mango layered sponge cake with cream
Saturday: organic banana cake
Sunday: designer cupcakes - one belgian chocolate one coconut
Monday: organic banana cake
Tuesday: apricot jam, hazelnut and cream cake
Wednesday: purple taro cake with sago pearls
Thursday: organic banana cake.

hmmm did i miss any??

Z sure loves her cake. ^^

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Law of Unattraction

WOW. I think I should get some kind of prize for this latest discovery!!!

I noticed the more you dislike something or don't want it, it's like you seem to attract it in bucketloads!!!

What do you think- do you believe in the Law of Attraction or the Law of Unattraction?

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I think I'm turning into a rabbit...and other things.

In my ideal world I would have all the time and money in the world to cater to my every foodie whim day in day out...oh and I'd have a 24-7 supermarket and deli on hand attached to my home ;)

So, since all the schoolies have gone crazy with vegetarianism and veganism I've definitely gotten on the bandwagon and severely increased my veggie intake which has been really really good...the only problem is when you eat say 1/2kilo or more of a variety of veggies each day that is a lot of painstaking constant shopping for fresh produce...

I think when feasible I definitely need to plant an organic veggie patch cos this is not cheap eating so many organic veggies and having to buy them!

In "other things" has it ever occurred to you everybody in the world seems to look the same? It's kinda freaking me out!!!

I had as much of a "sanity day" to myself as I'm gonna get just to R&R today so it's been good...oh, just to recap on a good day of eating...

loose leaf green tea with organic goji berries
thai fish cakes with green bean and salad...
honey and mustard kettle chips
Le petit ecolier 45% dark chocolate biscuits
orange juice
organic pizza base with cheese swiss browns and shredded sweet potato (wow these high end pre-prepared products are quite impressive...expensive too but quite worth it!)
Red papaya
More salad...we're talking carrots, lettuce, sprouted mung beans, beetroot, cherry tomatoes, alfalfa

and we'll see if I can get off my ass to bake more organic banana cake...after I watch a movie :)

oh wait, i still have black sticky rice and thai custard I should finish :)

Long weekends are great...they sure make for Happy Bellies^^!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Student Life is Hard

And so it comes to that time of the year(again) when my home resembles a vast cacophony of papers and books strewn EVERYWHERE.

A nightmare for the neat freaks...and not ideal...but hey, I'm kind of used to it by now. No point cleaning cos that's the way it's gotta be for "peak" season of the next 1.5 months.

It's to be considered doing well that I'm eating home cooked food and managing to do the laundry...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

City Living 101

Breathe. Just BREATHE.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Procrastination Catch 22

You don't want to do something- it's a chore, so you keep putting it off and waste your time in idle distraction...which leaves you less leeway to complete the deed. Deadlines loom over you like a menacing shadow... having festered, the shadow then begins to devour you crunching head first and you are thus officially trapped in a state of High Stress-which in itself results in paralysis...ARGHHHHHH!

Need. To Break. The Cycle!!!!


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Amusing Email Exchange...

I sent S an email entitled "arghhhhh please save me from plastic people and a plastic society!!!"

with one liner content: "honestly, i think I live in the world's most vacuous and shallow city outside L.A!"

Her reply was Gold.

"wish I could but I don't think it is much better anywhere you go. There is something inherently wrong with most people. Go hermit, it's the only way to be."

I so love the assuredness and certainty with which that bolded sentiment comes across from her.

And, I agree with the last line...I had already decided my new strategy: people's a cop out but it's the only way to survive this kind of environment day in, day out.

I am definitely going to work on my own consciousness though and hopefully find more conscious people amidst all the chaos here.

Diagnosis: Merinthophobia!

Cool new word my mate taught me.

We were trying to diagnose my easy-to-feel-suffocated issues...

Throw in some definite claustrophobia...

and possibly some demophobia...

or maybe I am really quite normal...I just need more than the average share of space and time to myself...and am *just a bit* anti-social

Friday, September 25, 2009

Why is it most girls strike me as BIMBOS?

So. I'm sitting here procrastinating. I don't feel like leaving the house. I was supposed to meet a bunch of girls 20 minutes ago...

This is my typical antisocial behaviour when I've had enough social contact for the week...

So I sit here listening to explosions in the sky procrastinating...

Some excerpts of conversations that have led up to tonight(one of my gfs is leaving)...

Me: Can I rock up in jeans and thongs?
Her: Can't you just dress properly, for once??! (sigh of exasperation).
Me: So can I?

Her other girlfriend: Come on, you gotta dress up we're all dressing up! (okay maybe I imagined the *squeal* that followed)
Me: I can't I only own normal clothes or work clothes.
Her other girlfriend: (sigh of indignation) Go get yourself some clothes!!!

Girrrrls...(roll my eyes).

Shame on you, Sennheiser!

So since my IPOD earphones busted, the Sennheiser ones I ordered from the States finally arrived.

I had already read reviews so I sort of had an idea of what to expect...but I still wanted to know for myself anyway...

And in any case they were a very cheap $13USD...compared to here where the same model - CX-300 - are selling for $100AUD!

Let me say, I am SO RELIEVED I did not pay any more for a standstill they are okay, the sound is a little tinny but the slightest movement of the wire and it is like someone is tapping a microphone in your ears or there is a blustery wind blowing through a microphone...a reviewer quite aptly stated..."they are just like airplane earphones"...

definitely if your IPOD earphones break just get a new pair...being such a Germanophile, I am so disappointed that my first experience with this much reputed German brand was such a non-event.

And never again will I be so cheap and neglect my ears...I notice good audio is just too important to me having grown up on quality European's not possible to not notice BAD SOUND! :p

This is why I can be a Loner...very easily.

In the just me world it's always *sunshine and rainbows*^^!

Negativity always arises from my external environment particularly interactions with is rare to find people who are genuinely positive and happy all the time.

Which is probably why M is always the person I turn to when I need to cleanse myself of negative vibes that have rubbed off from these inevitable interactions...Cheers mate :)!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

This Morning.

(By SMS)

Friend to Zhen: "I thought in my subconscious that earth had been swallowed by an orange monster this morning!"

Zhen to friend: "yeah, I thought in my conscious that Martians were paying a visit".

All washed depressing!

Someone who first met me several years ago was recounting when she first saw me, and comparing the vision to me now. Basically the idea that came across is that I'm SO PAST MY PRIME :P does mention this in ancient chinese texts...basically the ancients reckoned a woman is "washed up" at 7X4 years...

*sigh* lol, now I need to start liking that phrase "ageing gracefully"...

on a happier note, I saw a pretty enjoyable cool film today...(500) days of Summer. If you like my kind of music and film...and quirky characters...definitely go see it! The SOUNDTRACK is pure awesomeness...

Monday, September 21, 2009

A Brief Observation...

For the most part, the outside world works quite well when you're in inner harmony! *^^*

Cultural Fencesitting

I've been having this horrible niggling feeling of cultural fencesitting discomfort...which is idiotic because it is obviously something I will never be able to resolve having grown up in an environment and culture disparate to my ethnicity.

Maybe I will feel better if I get to know more Eurasians, even though I'm not one...cos really, I feel 50-50. Or at least when I am with asians, I feel Caucasian relative...and when I am with Caucasians I feel asian...It's almost like I choose to be difficult on purpose...I will always tend to the opposite/minority way.

In any case I went to a full asian house for dinner tonight- big meal lots of dishes chopsticks bowls soup all gathered around a circular table...the predominant language was something I felt it was all so exotic and I felt disconnected but at the same time that there was something comfortably familiar...


Friday, September 18, 2009

Buzz Day!

I was told Buzz Day(for Diabetes) has existed for at least 10 years but somehow I never knew about it...not like Daffodil Day(for Cancer) and Red Nose Day(for SIDS) and Genes for Jeans Day(for genetic disease).

In any case, I think this means the marketing people haven't been very effective, which is a shame considering how prevalent it is, how many people die from it and what a huge public health burden it is.
In any case I liked my little Bee...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I NEED to give up chocolate- it's so bad for me yet I HOARD it and not only that, I don't just get the cheap stuff...the other day I went out and bought more even though I still have a lot in the cupboard and I'm supposed to be giving up...

I spend way too much of my little precious spare time on the internet in addition to necessity, to the detriment of my body, especially my sore tired red dry eyes and blurry vision - deprived of sufficient rest...


And I love icecream but actually I'm allergic to milk and would be much better off to give dairy a miss...

What are the vices that you find are so hard to give up? Even though in your reasonable mind you know once you do, you'll feel much better!

On another note, lots of people around me seem to be on some crazy diet with the vegan-vegetarian movement leading the way...I've started moving this way latest favourite food fad is sprouted beans....mmmm and they make your insides feel so good after- I think they have a very alkaline effect on the body...

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Apparently I am like this woman...

Or at least when a friend read this she immediately thought of me...

awww, how sweet ;)

Zhen takes on "the doctor"

Bring it On!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

A Self Testimonial, lol.

So I don't know how ethical it is to essentially write a self-testimonial, but considering I am not charging for my services yet and almost illegal for me to practise anyhow I conclude it is ethical, it's just an honest reflection anyway. Although I sure have faith in my trade, sometimes if I think too much about it, it is still pretty amazing just how efficacious and immediate it really is...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

In what ways are you superficial?

Most people are superficial visually, they need things to look good. I can be like that but cos I don't really pay much attention to people's faces cos I'm usually lost in my own thoughts, it's not really significant.

I am actually very bad with faces- I can rarely remember people by faces, or names either for that matter...

The strange thing that stands out most to me and is most distinctive about a person is a VOICE. I am totally, shamefully superficial in that there are nice people out there who I just can't stand and cannot LIKE cos their voice is horribly grating! There are other people who have very pretty voices...Dina is a stand out for me :)

I just remembered that is one of my strange quirks. Even with people I know, it is hard for me to recall their faces but their voices I can summon into my head straight away...

is there anybody else like me who is audio dominant rather than visual dominant? Are there any other interesting ways in which you are superficial and quick to judge whether or not you like a other thing would probably be dress sense...I can't stand tacky dressers or some of the weird fads like tights under hotpants in the middle of Winter...I guess I immediately think "how idiotic!"and think these people must be lacking upstairs...

a funny thing...I got invited to join an elitist society. haha I think this is the first time in a looong time! I'm still thinking about it. I kind of have a love-hate relationship with the concept of exclusivity...maybe I will join if I think there is real potential of benefit to me some how.

What is Rationality?

asked the novice.

"Irrationality", replied his master.

"What is Irrationality?" asked the novice.

"Rationality", replied his master.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I gotta admit I do get my kicks from a bit of (subtle) Subversion...

I was buying herbs today and the girly girl who serves me that I regularly chat to each week has been on my case about boyfriends for about the past 3.

This is probably why for the past 3 I have subconsciously entered the shop in ultra tomboy mode- jeans, sneakers, a hoodie or polar fleece top, and incredibly unkempt hair(well I really do need a haircut desperately but just haven't had time to get around to getting one).

She commented "you spend a lot on herbs"...and I replied, "yeah food, herbs and occasionally cds- that is where ALL my money goes..."

She pinched up my polar fleece between her fingers and said "you don't spend on clothes?"

To which I replied, (kicking up a sneaker to show her), "No, I'm not a Girl!"

Then she fingered my earrings and said "but you have pierced ears?"

To which I replied, "yeah that's only cos when I was a kid and on a visit to asia my sister kicked up a stink to get hers done and my mum made me as well cos it was cheap as a deal".


Finally she gave me some advice: "you know if you bought some clothes and dress more like a girl and a little bit of makeup, you could get a boyfriend."

To which I replied "No thanks, I'm here just to study and then I'm outta here! I don't want to get tied down" which she looked completely discombobulated...even though I'm pretty sure I told her that last week AND the week before! LOL.

It is so interesting how completely on another planet the typical female lives to me and how in certain cultures and societies gender stereotypes are so any case, although I've always been on the lazy, disinterested can't be stuffed side in respect to aesthetic presentation beyond practical functional decency, I can't say I don't get a bit of cheeky satisfaction being a little subversive on purpose when presented with these super girly girls who are so discomforted by my lack of care and concern factor.

Apart from that, it's been a pretty interesting week with some interesting revelations and crazy ideas...

One of the interesting discussions this week was why females typically dislike me and always will be the ones, if anybody, to screw me over in some way. The conclusion apart from the obvious "cannot relate/lack of shared interests" perspective and that women can be BITCHES, is that women are typically incredibly insecure and lack self-esteem so they don't particularly like females who are confident and comfortable in their own non cosmetically enhanced skin...anyway I'm glad to finally really understand that it has nothing to do with me personally...and everything to do with other people's insecurities.

I'm still in "blah" retrograde mode- which was fun cos one of my psychic friends picked up on this and sent me a nice msg and I must have received her good vibes cos I was feeling a whole lot better today...although still retrograde...also got the exam back that I was feeling incredibly uncomfortable about...what a freaking surprise...I actually topped it!!! It is so strange - for the last year or so it seems all the exams I felt really bad about I ended up doing really well in and all the ones I felt good about I ended up doing mediocre for me.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

In Retrograde...

It's so weird it's like my astrology always really corresponds to life...things have been held back, slowed down, not flowing smoothly lately...whenever I notice this I check my astrological influences (to my specific details) and 9 times out of 10 there is some major retrograde influence happening...

LOL, who else is a Conspiracy Theorist...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

I was once a Latin Nerd...

And other random facts!

1. I don't remember much Latin but I do remember it was the most useful thing about high school. I do remember the first line of a passage from Virgil's Aeneid
Sed non idcirco flammae atque incendia vires
... Don't ask me what the hell it means...let's just say it is quite dramatic and it sounds and looks very cool...

2. I can't activate cigarette lighters with the little rolling dials...this can be rather inconvenient and come across as incompetent when trying to perform flame requiring therapies...(note to self...invest in a whole heap of push type lighters when I see them...)

3. I am a herbs nerd...the reason I know as much as I do about them is cos I regularly guinea pig on myself and get much pleasure from their interesting smells and textures and by throwing together a bunch and brewing them in a pot. (I feel like a modern day witch but just with a very small cauldron.) Also, maybe the Latin-ness of the pharmacological names turns me on...

4. My other major hobby is interrogatinginvestigating people. People are fascinating to observe.
Along with rocks and minerals, animals, and foreign cultures.

5. I like to write and don't actually talk much relative...the former is energizing, the latter can be draining. I don't often get to talk much in real life. I find I tend to fill the male listening position when talking to most other females. I guess that is why I prefer the company of males...cos I actally get to talk to my heart's content!

6. When I'm bad it typically manifests as spending way too much in a music store...

7. I'm a Monkey in the Chinese zodiac and fit the stereotype- I live for FUN! I love cracking jokes, playing games, pulling pranks and people actually take offense cos I'm often laughing at their expense...but at least I will join in with you when you laugh at me. I'm also ever curious about anything and everything, am impatient with people who are slow on uptake and love learning new things. I'm HIGH mental maintenance...most people bore me before too long...I tend to go through "phases"...especially with FOOD...Next!

8. Just to add as to why I am a Genuine Nerd(Nerds are cool as opposed to Geeks ;)...I've competed in a chess tournament...but only cos nobody else knew how to play and I had to fill the final position so that my friend-a real chess nerd-could actually field a team. Yeah, I can be nice like that ;)

9. And oh so narcissistic ;), H.O that makes two of us!

Do you need cheering up?

This has quickly become one of my all time favourite clips...thanks Shan!

Many times, women can really get me...DOWN!!! (Sometimes I really think someone needs to invent the bitchy and backstabbing woman protective suit to prevent sucking dry of happy auras LOL)

But at least watching this clip for the zillionth time makes me feel better :)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Hungry Hippo...

Lately, I feel constantly hungry...and just want to eat just about everything in sight healthy or not...not sure if it is the chill in the weather or I'm expending way too much energy, or that I'm recovering and hence my digestive system has decided it can take on any case I was pondering whether I should seriously aim to GET FAT! But honestly my food bills are already ginormous.

Random thought: I decided if I must stay on in the city for a bit maybe I'll take on some tutoring in my field just for a bit of variety- I think it'll actually be really a 1st year subject...after that it's just all too hard...LOL

Friday, September 4, 2009

In the company of...Boys!

I'm pretty easily corrupted. LOL did something a bit naughty today...haha it was fun, incredibly satisfying ;)! Takes me back...

I am so not beyond enjoying a bit of puerile delinquency...give me a partner in crime and I'll so totally lose the responsible mature matron deal at the drop of a hat!!! It gets boring being good all the any case I think a bit of delinquency in the name of fun is a necessary part of the culture here, LOL!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Consequences of Being....Relaaaaxed.

Basically, it means all your qi is flowing smoothly and you end up tapping into that "Being" that you usually ignore to keep up with the hectic-ness of crazy modern life.

So anyway I've noticed, when one is really relaxed and all the qi is have very high probabilities of tapping into inexplicable hidden talents...

for example, today...I thought I'd see my cousin or possibly visualised him just before I actually saw him! LOL, with the chances of us meeting pretty miniscule since we're both not usually anywhere in that vicinity on a Tuesday afternoon!!!

Anycase I'm enjoying myself...I'm not looking forward to getting my paper back tomorrow though...fingers and toes crossed!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Milk and Anna...

I'm a bit peopled out for a bit so I've gone into hermit retreat mode watching lots of films...I've seen MILK, CHANGELING and THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE. I'm hoping to catch MY SISTER'S KEEPER tomorrow only because when I was travelling my roommate couldn't stop going on about the book!

I really enjoyed MILK. And I am fascinated by Anna Wintour, featured in THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE.

I saw her dark glasses- noted how she is...and decided "I like her"...probably cos we're not dissimilar(I think if I hadn't been destined into the healing path maybe I could have gone like that)...and yes, she is a Scorpio too(dark glasses give it away LOL)...I also wouldn't be surprised if she's an INTJ...

Definitely one of the more intriguing public characters around ;)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Introverts should stop hiding in their earphones...


my earphones busted yesterday and I haven't as yet replaced them cos I don't have any spares, I'm not sure which ones to get or whether it is time for a listending device upgrade...(with looming globetrotter-iness, I think not for the latter!

In any case it did occur to me that I do spend my entire outside existence plugged to my earphones....and that perhaps it is a bit of a barrier device to the outside any case, my suspicions were proven today when my neighbour across the hall was passing by and struck up a he did mention he hadn't spoken to me before cos everytime he sees me I'm plugged up to earphones!

In any case it was a rather pleasant exchange and I was very pleased when he complimented me on the "decent noises" coming out of my apartment *lol...

so now I know one to work on my aversion to completely random strangers...and associated automated anti-socialness.

A random aside, I've been doing crazy 18 hour very active bustly days in the pursuit of life balance...very sleep deprived and tired but I'm still managing to continue with them! I guess I should curb this soon before I crash...I think the fact I CAN do this means that maybe my health is improving :) But I'll have to give it a couple more months before I know for sure...I hope so, cos at the moment there are lots of doubts from those close to me that I will be able to make good on my global wanderlust.

Reiki Love!

Wow this reiki stuff is so powerful. I went for a reiki/massage the other day since scientific study has recently proved that massage boosts your NK and T cells (basically, Immunity) and to be honest this experience with reiki with this particular practitioner was the only time I didn't feel aches in my body (which is also what inspired me to go learn myself).

Ever since then, I feel an amazing reborn ability to feel love towards dare I say it, everybody! (just to varying degrees, and in different ways of course ;)

This is in stark contrast to my usual cynical misanthropy fuelled by my dero surrounds.

Maybe I just had a strange's not everyday one wakes from a coma! I think I need these "good news miracle" stories more often to "top me up" on feel good vibes...cos I'm just way so idealistic...and still haven't mastered protecting my energetic boundaries from negativity.

Friday, August 28, 2009

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!! penpal is ALIVE!!!! :-D D D

Every time one of my trusty penpals disappears unannounced for some time I immediately start to worry and think the worst...this time I was so RIGHT!!!

My mate in Italy disappeared around the time of the big Earthquake there. I immediately made the connection especially when I sent an email to check on him and got no reply. That was months and months ago. Somehow my intuition told me to check on him again...and WHADDYA KNOW! He recently woke from a COMA and has only been able to get back online and start to type this week!!!!


In any case I feel great joy and gratitude to The Universe that he gets the the gift of life again :)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Make sure to have a little fun along the way :)

The concept of "fiscal responsibility" was mentioned to me this week.

Boy am I familiar with this concept- if nothing else I have lived my entire supposedly "irresponsible" youth like that!

And what have I concluded?

You need compromised balance, and definitely to take advantage of opportunities for fun when they do arise. Because, really, youth doesn't necessarily guarantee a long existence, the only definite is the present.

Although I have faced my own mortality a few times, never more did the idea become more "real" than when I was confronted with an open casket of my partner at the time's classmate who just disappeared literally overnight in her sleep. THAT was a huge wakeup call! I think that's also when I realised how horrible it is to be an Empath...when the family went round to shake hands...her mother's grief just absolutely floored me...and it hung around intensely for months, really quite irrational for how distant the connection was...after that, I realise I'm definitely too sensitive to attend these things and should avoid unless absolutely necessary, especially such blatant energy least until I can better protect my own boundaries...

anyway that was just a random thought when I woke up today...I'm getting really busy now and need to be super productive to fit everything in(especially the conscientious attempt at life balance leisure/relaxation time aspect) so my posts will be more sporadic like this...

as an aside I got talking to an older lady and I asked one of my favourite questions: "how old do you think I am?"...she was very shrewd, rather than try and guess she just said "that's really difficult, with you it's very mixed". "Why?" I asked...she said "well you look so young but when I talk to you, you seem so much older"... haha ;) Maybe I should start wearing an explanatory t-shirt "I'm actually old". Isn't it bad how people always judge you from your exterior(I forgive you anyway it's only natural). My friend was telling me "You need to wear makeup" (if you want instant adult credibility)...

No thanks! My mother's trade secret to looking young(apart from the genes)...don't wear makeup when you're young so later on when you're really old, you won't look so old! LOL

Saturday, August 22, 2009


The seed has been planted. I think I want to try and travel again.

So I think I have to start going all tight ass and lock myself up to be able to afford it...and hopefully the exchange rates improve by then!

Just a tentative plan and hope...but I guess we'll have to see...

Friday, August 21, 2009

The City is GROSS!

Skank galore and full of dirty flirty's absolutely friggin...disgusting!

Walking around by myself as a female...can be...just....blergh...

I think I'm still getting used to not having a buffer around...

So although I usually try to balance comfort dero-ness for some adult credibility today at least I felt the need to revert back to my cons and hoodies...with the messy high ponytail and sunnies I think I can pass for a tall 10 year old :) well maybe a teenager except that these days even really young girls dress so skanky and wear so much makeup....which is why I think in my get up I could look like a kid from a distance.

I think I'll be doing this a lot more often...until I escape to somewhere less skanky...

my friend said...if the city grosses me out so much, why don't I just go immerse myself in a church thanks!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Woman's ID/Pleasure Principle...

I'm all good with girls again :)...all I really needed was a day of escape...nothing personal, just I need that debrief when I get female overload to let my yang-ness be able to breathe in peace rather than have its survival threatened gasping for air LOL

In any case, we all know what the typical MAN's ID mate was wondering what is a WOMAN's?? Without hesitation, I immediately replied:

"Foot Massages and chocolate!" ;)

And added...luxurious no time constraint...Bubble Baths!!!

Agree? What else...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Defecting to Northern Hemisphere...

My Mate is convinced that cos all my friends keep leaving to the other hemisphere and most of them already did and the fact that all the new people I like best are from the other hemisphere that it is like "A SIGN".

I just think I'm jinxed.

What a Cool Dream!

I saw a closeup photo of a baby tomato growing in the sunlight. Day by day the tomato grew bigger and bigger....and when it was full grown, red and plump I reached into the photo and plucked it and was astonished when my hand retrieved a chilly firm fresh tomato in real life(the one in the photo was no longer there)....if only reality were as cool as dreams!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009


I realised today why I was feeling so cranky...after about my 20th girrrrl interaction exclusively for the last 3 days I realised my out of norm bad naturedness was because I'm ALL GIRRRRLED OUT!!

I'm not used to such girrrrl overload...and quite frankly, being socialised by boys almost my whole life...I really can't hack it!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH.

Apart from tomboys and 60 year old women...I prefer the company of men...any day...I'm not exactly sure why that is but they just don't irritate or BORE me out of my brain as much as women can!

H.O I'll still blog while I have rants like these I need to vent somewhere! LOL

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Fire Hydrant Study

I was charged with photography on the weekend using super expensive lenses on someone else's similar body - Conclusion? Low level Canon DSLRs are SHITE especially at being able to autoread lighting, focus etc etc. Definitely their range of auto snappy cameras are so much better...especially in terms of focusing if you want things at different depths ALL in focus...

anyway here I am using a standard cheap 50mm with 1.8 aperture trying out all the focus points...this is about as good as it gets ever with my equipment...unfortunately :(

I am seriously thinking of selling this and trading in for a trusty prosumer...or better yet defecting to Nikon...I think for end of year trip I'll just take a snappy Nikon or buy a new battery for the old G3. This 450D is definitely not suitable for casual snaps you need to manually adjust everything and take the one shot several times cos results can be SO variable...and still! On many occasions...BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRR and very dismal, often washed out seeming shots unless you can be bothered to post-process. Basically the auto is crap. Blerghhhh.

Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations of a DSLR post using a non digital Canon SLR which always took good shots no matter what!


I had a very disturbing dream - not nightmarish enough to wake me up but bad enough to have a very unrestful sleep.

I think an old woman got murdered- I knew some details that might implicate me and I knew that if I talked I'd be taken in as the chief suspect/have my life threatened. Hence I spent a lot of time hiding in a room constantly worrying that the authorities would come and get me and was incredibly careful to leave no fingerprints was a very draining exercise...even in a dream :P

I still have no idea what it means - I can't see how it in any way relates to my real life...

p.s I'm thinking I'm over blogging...also cos I found this blog which is a great reflection of my life...I found this article particularly fascinating...although I test as neither an A nor B(which is the healthiest to be according to a psychologist) I think I'm very much always living a type A lifestyle! And I don't see how it's avoidable...

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Taking Back One's Energy...

Lol I was amused recently when I saw my friend's new blog- there was a title and underneath it the subtitle read: "It's Me It's Me It's ALL ABOUT ME!"

This is cause she is a real giver and always ends up a slave to other people's needs. I wouldn't say I am that afflicted compared to her but I can definitely relate :P. I didn't really realise this until a third party- a kinesiologist told me the reason I get drained is cos I give out way too much energy to other people and don't save enough for in the interest of Self-Preservation I've been taking my energy back and not giving it out to all needy parties willy nilly...and Boy! the effect has been amazing-yes, suddenly I have so much more time and energy to actually enjoy life and get what I need to get done done! Very, very cool....sometimes I just wish I were born more selfish to start with to not have to have wasted so many years getting by without being able to exercise this key life skill!

In any case, apart from that the most amusing thing this week was bumping into a friend who said her little cousin had noticed me at a party and wanted to ask me friend was in complete disbelief and kept asking to clarify: "are you SERIOUS? do you know how much OLDER than you she is?" (lol, Grandma!)

"I don't care. Age doesn't matter." replied the wise boy ;)

In any case my friend decided to tell a BIG FAT LIE to discourage him since she just presumed I have no time of day for men under the age of 30(as a general rule yes that's true lol) she told him..."She's HIGH MAINTENANCE!" *LOL...How Rude!!!!! I never understand why women have such problems just telling cold, hard any case if she didn't decide on my behalf I think people -with a bit of guts- are quite impressive...maybe cos I am typically quite the chicken

In any case this scenario and that of having your ID checked is why typical young people especially asians are so compelled to dress up so much and wear so much makeup...cos otherwise people are so ignorant as to your real age and you get lots of young guys trying to hit on you...strangely enough in non city areas people are so much more sensible...nobody ever checks my ID - because there it is solely the youngsters who dress up and are plastered in heaps of makeup- where as here, since EVERYBODY is dressed up so much and plastered in makeup, then people like me, by default, end up getting mistaken for a little kid :P

I know I'll be very grateful for my youthful asian genes one day :-)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Having One's Ego Stroked ;)

...I swear, I must have been A MAN in all my past lives ;)

Anyhow I had a great relaaaaxiing weekend away and it was great cos I was so unwound I actually was a whole lot more productive and got reasonable amount study done with utmost ease :)

Anyhow back to elucidate on the title of this post...3 boosts to the ego this weekend :)

A woman quite a bit older than me called me...WISE ;)

My friend in NY said my photos are just like what you can see in MOMA(Museum Of Modern Art) okay maybe not for picture quality :p but maybe for subject matter or angle?

I was walking with a latino when he hears some passersby speaking espanol...a very random encounter and conversation of the two HOT latina chicks said to the dude "your friend is pretty", which coming from a sober, HOT supermodel-esque latina that my opinion, hehe ;) and the coolest part was cos they spoke slow relative to other South Americans, I actually could "entiendo" quite a bit...which was so cool and a pleasant surprise cos it's been SO LONG since I've engaged in anything espanol...

anyway I'm now off to go watch a load of DVDs and enjoy the rest of this relaaaxing weekend...ciao! :D

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Latent City Malevolence...

Well in terms of luck today was like seeing the complete flip side of the coin compared to yesterday! Typical sine wave...

That's duality for you! LOL

Well I don't have time to detail everything so I'll just share the one main story that sent my stress levels skyrocketing today...interesting thing is my astrological calendear had warned it'd be a stressful one today! LOL

So anyway I needed to get cash out...but my local ATM was highly suspect eg I could totally jiggle the card holder part which was poking out a bit too much....skimmers! I thought I'd not take the risk...

So anyway I decided to just EFTPOS at the small grocery store instead...after a separate stressful incident involving a newbie operator who wasted my time for 40 minutes and then couldn't even refund me the money they'd taken off me for no service, I realised...SHITE! The rather large sum of cash I had EFTPOSed prior for my weekend away...well she'd never given me the cash!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It's not like little grocery stores even have surveillance if the operator had pocketed my cash that's buhbye and one big dent to my paltry savings!

In any case to cut a long story short I gave the shop a call...and spoke to the manager...she was very good. I think it happens quite a lot...the monotony of the day for the check out chicks numbs their brains...and the girl had forgotten...cos my hands had been tied and I'd been rushing around like a mad chook I hadn't noticed either that she'd given me my groceries but no cash!

ANYWAY....was stressful...lesson learnt...need to be more careful...not that I'm not but I get forgetful and scatterbrained especially when busy and tired...

When I headed back out to claim my cash back I took along Horace and it was very relaxing- there is just something about making black and white images that really benefits my psyche especially when my nerves have been shot!

Yes, I really DO NEED this weekend escape- but unfortunately I'm gonna have to drag study up with me 2 weeks are pretty hectic for me- if anything I'm probably overdoing my any case I don't mind lugging the study stuff as long as I get to commune with nature. :-D

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

You just need to stretch out your hands with open palms...

Yesterday I was having a bit of a mini internal drama/crisis...did you notice it's a FULL MOON again...sheesh that's probably been the 3rd or 4th full moon in a row which coincided with me having a small flip out about something. It's like I get all emotionally charged and extra sensitive to "vibes" or something...

ANYWAY. Cut a long story short...I'm used to just having things fall in my lap if I ask lately....YEAH :) I think I'm pretty lucky in a good way these days^^!

Anyhow...yesterday I discovered an even more effective technique! Basically I unfolded my arms and stuck out two open palms...and lol I think I got back about 8 TENTACLES some waving lollypops and bearing flowers ^^!

It's pretty cool...somebody up there likes me :) :) :)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I really like Older People.

One of my teachers happens to be pretty old. And is it such a nice change (and feeling of relief) having an oldie to talk to. I actually find it alot easier to talk to her and have a flowing worthwhile conversation than everybody else...maybe this is a sign, like I should go do some volunteer work at a nursing home or something...I think more oldies in my life could actually help me stay sane in this very alien environment...

in another reverted pattern, I was watching an asian movie where I actually could understand some of the language(and boy was that cool!) In any case this triggered another episode of...I'm not exactly sure where my cultural loyalties lie...I start to see the good and bad of both...I guess this is probably why I get along best with third culture kids...

Monday, August 3, 2009

Neighbourly Encounters

What's the weirdest thing you ever did to a neighbour or they ever did to you? Okay, it'd be pretty weird if a neighbour knocked on my door and asked to borrow some sugar...just cos we're in the city and I'd tell them to just go down the road to the shop or all hours convenience store!

When I was a kid growing up I remember my neighbour locked themselves out of their house and they asked my brother to climb in from our balcony onto their balcony...gee they are so lucky my brother didn't fall doing it!

This year my smoking neighbour also locked themselves out and asked for access to my balcony so they could climb into theirs...

it was good timing cos shortly after when they were pissing me off with their cigarette smoke at 1am in the morning I could yell at them and tell them off and they haven't smoked in the vicinity since!

In any case often I go down the stairs or even just open my door and hear great music...after standing there for quite some time to work out where exactly the sound was coming from, I isolated it to a particular unit. Cos the owner didn't respond to my knocking I left a note under the door asking for identification of the music and could he leave a note under my door to let me know...cos of course I just had to know!!!

Fast forward a few months on...and the same thing happened again! This time I left a note under the door again but with my email instead thinking it would be easier for him to anycase to cut a long story short tonight I picked up the two cds I had left in his mailbox....*sigh! so I am listening to gypsy flamenco type guitar or that relaxing stuff you hear in open air malls and markets on Sunday afternoons...good stuff!

Oh yeah the other weird thing that happened this year was I was wishing for money and a visiting neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some cash to borrow my garage for a few days that same day :)

On another jinxed am I! I was already preparing for the apocalypse cos my 11 friend is leaving in November and E is leaving in I also found out D is ditching his studies here and going to start the entire thing again but in China! I see why I'm a hermit- this endless cycle of friend exodus is getting tiring...:p Conclusion: no point getting attached to anybody...some people were supposed to be an island I think LOL!

Mayhem, Chaos, Drama!, there actually IS that's's like I almost don't know what to do with myself! ;)

What luxury...I like it!!! :-D

Random aside...I'm desperately desiring a macro lens...but they are soooo expensive! Tempted to get and try a thingamejig called a close up filter...any thoughts? I guess I'll try and stick my old non digital 75-300mm lens on today and see if I can get any decent close up shots first...

edit: oops except for accidentally leaving the monochrome on sepia I actually liked all the shots I took in the whole 10 minutes of spare time I got for the entire day...I particularly like this one- I think it'd make a cute card! and yep, THANK GOD for the big the city a wide lens is pretty useless cos everything is just so damn ugly!

Friday, July 31, 2009

I talk too much!

So here is my exercise in nurturing my RIGHT brain. Please come visit to encourage me in my plight...or else I may default back to verbal diarrhoea again :P

Thursday, July 30, 2009

My Country Bumpkin Lifestyle ^^!

* contented pretending to live my country bumpkin out of bed bright and early: this time of the day things are still nice and quiet and the air is still clean...I cooked breakfast then put on the dulcet and civilised tones of Erik Satie to bake banana cake's just about done *drool*...

It's so much easier to stay sane with a bit of peace, quiet and clean air(yes those smoke seals have really changed my life!!) I guess part of the last week's solar eclipse was probably compounded by some kind of nicotine, weed, and hash withdrawal cos I'd been so used to passively chainsmoking from all my dero neighbours below me... so if my blogposts start to get boring you'll know why! LOL but at least my health is well on the way to recovery...

In any case if I really were in my rural/coastal oasis...I guess rather than tending my blog I would be out for a walk to feed my chickens and check for eggs and in the summer possibly a quick dip...and reading on my outdoor swing!

I can't wait till my "lifestyle" becomes a reality...yeah I guess I'll probably be thinking about a patient or two too...even on those days off! But my phone will definitely be unplugged and turned OFF!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Keep your Paws to yourself!

Unless you are South American, Italian, Spanish or French or something along those lines...if you are a complete stranger I totally do not condone you invading my personal space and laying any paws or worse on me...

I don't know if it is a personal, cultural or MBTI thing but I really do not like unfamiliar strangers invading my personal bubble.

This is exactly the reason why I have only ever been to one salsa class...and was so traumatised...never again! (That was several years ago too LOL)

In other matters...I've resolved my void of tantalizing brain candy...I dropped into the video store on my way back from the grocers and I managed to pick up a quirky aussie film "Lucky Miles"(I have a soft spot for local films especially with their typically offbeat Aussie humour ;)...I also managed to pick up two arthouse films...Anton Corbijn's "Control" about the life of Joy Division singer Ian Curtis and Ingmar Bergman's classic "The Seventh Seal"....I'm really looking forward to seeing these in possibly the last week before things start to get hectic and I have no life again.

In other matters, I've been really good with the healthy diet my steamed organic veggies- Mmmmm! but I'm having a bit of a sweet craving late at night which, rather than eat chocolate I've been fending off with late night toasts - one with crunchy peanut butter and the other with nutella...

And I'm still in my Madonna Immaculate Collection phase...

And I'm going to bake a banana cake from scratch tomorrow *drool*...I was so proud of myself to resist buying the pack of chocolate chips I wanted to dump in it...

And on a random note...I'm loving HAND SANITISER! It's so handy when you get the munchies everywhere at anytime and like to fill your bag with snacks like I do...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What's a bored girl to do!!!

...sing the entire Madonna Immaculate Collection of course!

Currently half way 8 songs down 9 to go!

LOL, I got a great load of sleep and rest this arvo and have all this energy but on a Tuesday night there is nothing and nobody to do anything with :(

I rarely get bored...but when I do, I'm HIGH maintenance...having grown up in a high stimulus environment I desperately want and kinda...need...people around me to be interesting and tickle my brain...not only capable of holding a conversation but, an interesting, stimulating one.

But lately...I really feel tired by having to be the entertainment...where's the fun for me...I want someone to entertain me!!!!

ahhhh been totally devoid of interesting people for a while now. Apart from my 11 friend who is back to the UK in November, the last interesting folks I found are long gone to the other hemisphere! In some ways I feel jinxed...I never seem to find local people in my real life interesting...why is that?!!

p.s I realise I don't amuse with enough pictures so here's one of a shopfront I like ;)

Monday, July 27, 2009

Getting sick again...'s back in and I'm staving off disease again! :P This season has been absolutely shite in terms of infectious illness...I guess I should have rested better but this always happens...I try and make the most of it when the time starts to tick down ;) Oh well hopefully that also means I have access to loads of people to treat me which is a much easier exercise...

It was a strange day.

My friend...came barging through my door yelling and swearing with some very shocking news which left me quite numb and reflective.

It's interesting the twists life can any case nothing can really shock me anymore- I am a firm believer in fate...all the people who think you can control your life 100% are the most deluded and/or fortunate people I have ever met!

And I met an interesting random character who I haven't decided whether I want to add to my ever burgeoning collection of weird people...I really see my diverse collection of interesting peeps very much like a museum of glass head jars a la Futurama ;) Yes, H.O and Shan you are on my shelf staring at each other on opposite shelves so you can chat and drive each other crazy to your heart's content with your composite madness :)

The day before was also very strange cos I went to this chick I literally met a month ago- her b'day...and knew nobody. But when I arrived, quite a few people I never met or even heard of were So YOU'RE Zhen? This unexpected "fame" of sorts left me a little alarmed...and I felt a bit indequate to present as rather normal and unexciting compared to what they probably imagined...

In any case it was nice to know I made such a huge impression on least originally! LOL.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Little Brother...So CUTE!

I fell in love with my young friend's little brother!!!

In a Big Sisterly kind of way...I've always wanted a little brother!!! He was so cute...(10 years younger).

In any case it was weird being with youngsters tonight...I was already drooping over a couch by 930pm and having to drink tea to stay awake...I think when you get OLD young there is just no going back and making up for lost time- you just gotta accept you skipped over youth and that's that! Anyhow I dropped him off at a trendy little club and said "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, you're too young to have your whole future destroyed by doing dumb things." LOL, How Big sisterly of me ^^...I would have made a kick ass big sister ;)