Sunday, February 28, 2010

Oh my, no wonder I feel weird...

it's a full moon! Really, I am so sensitive...I am a better detector for those things I am sensitive to than...A MACHINE!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

So that was random...

and Unexpected...

People have told me many times in the past that I am...random, like if you hang out with me you better come prepared for all possibilities last time I was meant to meet a friend for dinner we ended up on a boat...luckily she hadn't worn high heels! ;) (actually if you hang out with me that is one definite I can give will NEVER EVER need your high heels ;)

Anyway lately, cos I have been getting out quite a bit I can't say they're entirely wrong...

So somehow...

Tonight, I really quite accidentally ended up RIGHT IN THE the middle of the Mardi Gras! SO. NOT. MY. THING. Not only that I ended up teetering precariously on a crate with my mate right in the midst of all these fascinating costumed people in a full blown crowd which was so chaotic that to be honest I was scared and a girl (typical, it was a girl :P) accidentally sprayed me with some girly mixer in a can. Not only that there was broken glass everywhere, cigarette smoke everywhere, and I'm sure I even stepped in Piss!!

Yobbo Galore....Stench Galore.

Absolutely Gross!!!! The crowds were ABSOLUTELY NUTS I was walking for a good 40 mins before it thinned out into something sane.

Anyway, back to my point...that was totally, TOTALLY unexpected. And So not me! So anyway, I'm relieved to be home...

p.s I met A VERY INTERESTING OLD DUDE who I think I was meant to meet and I'm very excited about. Not only that I had another interesting twist/synchronicity/coincidence which seems to be happening all the time nowaways...I ended up sitting next to some very random connection of who I knew of by name but had never ever met....and it all ties into my future both these two I met....VERY VERY INTERESTING. And exciting :) :)

It's Saturday...

and am doing work stuff. Just wanted to rant...especially since one year ago....dejavu time date place...

Working on weekends is Sacrilegious. I'd much rather be sleeping.

Enjoy YOUR weekend, FOLKS.

Love from,
Panda Eyes xo

Friday, February 26, 2010

TV can't usually make me sit still...

But this is the best series I have seen since Vegemite got invented!!!

ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING-ENTERTAINING- all my brain bits were bouncing up and down in fluoro hypercolours! Absolute MUST SEE stuff!

I love Geeks :)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Tawny Port Wednesday

It was just ONE OF THOSE DAYS :-p

...and by the end of it I was clamouring for some red.

Actually it's just been one of those weeks....arghhhh!

Sheesh may the Northern Hemisphere just suck me up already!

p.s actually I was trying to get a fortified muscat but the bottle shop didn't have them- apparently that drink is only for homeless bums...not exactly sure why...

Monday, February 22, 2010

Two Questions

What happens when you send a non alcohol loving girl out to get booze and the shop is closed?

She comes back with chips, icecream and chocolate :)...Movie anyone? LOL

And on a less flippant note, what causes people to be such freaking control freak Rule Nazis? Seriously. I want to know! Is it that people who feel so compelled to impose limits on others lives and make them miserable-does it stem from their own feeling that their life is out of control? Is it a need to dominate...WHAT!

Whatever the case it makes for some pretty toxic B'day Twin and I were so drained from it all we spent a good 5-6 hours purely detoxing...and trying to reassert our happy vibes, lol which meant hmmm....FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! haha lucky for me I am skinny as a stick but it did hurt the pocket somewhat.

Actually we craved Ramen- comfort food Mmmm....but were distraught when our favourite place wasn't open. So then we trekked out in the BEATING SUN to a nice civilized reprieve with good air conditioning and headed straight for the most desolate and biggest empty table, lol.

And ate....chicken, risoni, white beans, spinach, chorizo, scones with strawberry jam and cream, lemonade, orange tic tacs...not quite done we also ended up sharing a very delicious French passionfruit cake(boy do the French know how to do good desserts!), hot chocolate, orange juice...

I actually felt a need to cleanse more but my yoga class wasn't on so I just took a cooling shower instead...I am aching for an ocean dip though...nothing like a good salt water cleanse from bad people vibes :P Seriously, it's hard to always have to forgive base people, it's really a constant conscientious CHORE to "Be Good".

Living in the city with city people and city mentality and city crowds and city stenches, sucks.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Kindred Freaks in the City :)

I was waiting at a major bus stop in the city when I saw three strange things...

an old big green vintage museum based South Sydney Rabbitohs bus old in fact that a guy had to stick his hand out to signal.

Shortly after I saw a dude with piercings pass by with a big ol pram with a big ol mutt sitting it it with a trail of purple and pink helium balloons attached on either side like girly pigtails...

Shortly after that I saw a girl in a too white dress with a tail that trailed the floor and a big bow on the back like a wedding dress only her hair was all dero and she was trying to get on a bus with tail dragging the street.

No I wasn't dreaming...this is my it's not as boring as I always credit it with, lol.

Deep and Meaningful Revelations

85% dark chocolate is just not my's too....BITTER!

But of course! I'm all...*sweetness*

LOL ;)

Back home. Sane. Lungs in good working order. No Panda Eyes. Amazing and Miraculous. Really.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Lone Wolf Strikes again!

My mother started calling me a Lone Wolf. I think cos she saw how much fun I truly get up to by myself and that with me, it's definitely for the most part a choice/preference.

In any case in my latest shenanigans which perhaps was predicted too accurately by my horoscope I've been feeling truly liberated by unleashing my eccentricity willy nilly by not precensoring anything I have to say with diplomacy or conventional acceptance. I gotta admit I kinda like "shocking" people out of their comfort zones...but also I like to upset people's preconceptions of me. Because I don't want to stand out or be noticed I dress pretty normal so people just immediately assume I must be really conventional, boring and conservative like every other sucker. It's fun to shock them or at least watch them be shocked. I blame it on Frida Kahlo- she taught me how much fun it is to be subversive :)

Apart from that two other weird developments - I suddenly became Asian and Girly in one day! But maybe again that is just a one day transient novelty cos the status quo was getting boring.

So yeah today I did the most asian thing of walking in the sun with an umbrella! Actually these scared of the sun asians are very smart...cos really the sun down under is WAY TOO STRONG! I think I'm going to adopt this intelligent and practical stereotyped behaviour of a true asian.

The other thing I did was while walking out and about I started collecting flowers (frangipanis actually) and cos I had so many and didn't want them to all get squashed in my bag I stuck one in my hair...sheesh how girly is THAT!

I guess I just like the feeling of freedom of being able to do anything I want right now-alot- even if it is strange and unusual by conventional standards and draws frowns of disapproval or quizzical the end of the day if anyone really CARES! *lol

Friday, February 19, 2010

As Batty as a Hatter in Old Age...

Mad Hat Batty!

I think recently, or maybe when I am amongst certain comfortable and familiar people I am totally uninhibited (without even being drunk) so I can truly exude me-ness left right and centre. So much so that normal people can't stop commenting I am truly madly eccentric....Grandma! I feel old but at least it's lots of fun :)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Web Is Being Woven

Sometimes...we're so impatient in such a hurry to reach an end goal we forget to breathe in the moment and savour the journey.

And as similar days blur into a routine we often forget that anything is happening at all. But occasionally we get bright sparks, privileged glimpses of the future that remind us that we are part of a web that is constantly being woven.

I had a very interesting day and I am exhausted...ironically I spent a good deal of it lying on a bench(aka homeless bum) in a beautiful forest of plants and vegetation. I also spent a good deal of it lying on beach sands until the sun beat down so strong I couldn't take anymore the feeling of burning to a crisp.

But I guess the best part of all was the great company...and great food...home made PIE and CAKE...two of my absolutely favourites! What more could one ask for? TB is a great chef :)

Today I had very interesting conversations with people I'd usually not talk to at all....and they were all so interesting people- maybe I might learn to appreciate people over animals after all! I also met one very cool fish, and one very cool cat. I always thought I hated cats. Wow, you learn something new about yourself everyday...


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Are the Wealthy more genteel?

No. Is my conclusion after re-living in one of the wealthiest most exclusive parts of this city.

I said "Good morning" to an old lady just to see whether she'd be shocked at my friendliness...she was actually shocked. This would be normal courtesy in a small town.

But the real tell tale factor was that people on the bus seemed even more selfish than people in less well off areas- an old man with a crutch stood standing there while much more able bodied people sat reading their Financial Review. Although that bus was saturated in designer brands, South Sea Black Pearls and Massive Sparkling Carats, nobody bothered to offer him a seat.

In any case it's been a fun social experiment for me to partly simulate and experience living as the truly wealthy do, complete with 4 ornate marble fireplaces, lol.

I've always not cared enough about money, so much so that my folks frequently tell me off for not having any "drive". But I did imagine that if one were wealthy it would be handy cos you then have so much more capacity to help others...but then I realise what usually happens when people get wealthy is that their lifestyles just get more lavish and so although their pay packets may increase their lifestyle burgeons so that they can just accommodate it. People stay selfish and stingy-I guess that is how one gets ahead in a dog eat dog material world anyway. I guess it's just normal human behaviour.

In any case I realise in this city unless you're pretty rich, life is not too comfortable, so I think I better start caring to make money more. Ultimately it would be ideal to just get together with someone rich who actually cares about money and loves making it so I can get on with my main purpose of being able to help others without having to worry about basic needs such as food and shelter! :-p

Keep praying HO, thanks :)

Monday, February 15, 2010

I feel like a Refugee...

Yesterday in a "Save Zhen's Soul" Rescue mission, I was secretly smuggled away to a fancy totally empty house with just lights and water.

It only really struck me though how much a refugee I felt when my mate helping to smuggle me asked "So do you have any money?"

In any case I feel so much better, my lungs feel so much better. But I still have a problem. I need to find a place to live. And...soon. So help, Pray Pray Pray!

Saturday, February 13, 2010


It's been thirteen years since my life got turned upside down and I was jet propelled seeming light years ahead of my physical time...

Today was a similarly strange day to cap off a very strange week or I went from Yang to Yin in one foul swoop. I didn't even play one cd or loud music all day. I guess I am still feeling very sick from yesterday. So it's all been quiet, peace and meditative.

Hopefully this means that the Year of the Tiger for me will be more balanced to be more Yin-esque...peaceful, calm and unhyperactive, lol. Happy Chinese New Year :)

Oh, and Happy V day :) Very cute HO your post was 2 days premature(!)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Do I look like a...Mother?!!

I think it started about two years ago. I was exiting a shopping mall and there was a lost asian toddler. Someone asked me if she was mine(!)


I think it happened once post that, but then...

Today I was heading out and a white haired grandmother was heading toward me while a very very cute and model-esque pretty Eurasian baby was crawling behind me away from me to his mother.

The kid was so cute looking the grandmother got confused and exclaimed "Oh is that yours?!!"

LOL I gotta admit...I was actually flattered. I don't usually like compliments or feel flattered but honestly, that kid the best looking Eurasian kid and one of the prettiest cutest babies I've ever seen (Half Jap, Half Aussie) and I have seen some pretty cute good looking ones!

I'm not even a fan of babies. So maybe this just shows I'm a lot more superficial than I like to admit, lol!

Monday, February 8, 2010

In Randomness, I find...


Someone recently asked you find your life is like a movie? Yes! A Resounding Yes.

My Life...Has always been Very, Very Strange.

Full of the most odd coincidences and synchronicities and I seem to just...Attract Randomness! What does it all MEAN? I keep asking. But unfortunately nobody can just tell me...there are things you just need to work out for yourself. Maybe I am a conspiracy theorist but really my life IS very strange and I feel that within all of it there is some deep and meaningful Universe moving revelation in there somewhere which until I alone can work it out, will just be One Big Question Mark! It's like I'm a rat scampering many hidden passageways and opening hidden panels looking for a tiny golden key in a dark and cobblestoned grey crevice of My Castle.

So the latest weirdness was that I very randomly encountered three new random people this week...who have rather unusual names...the most interesting part being that I already only know exactly one set of people with these three same unusual names, if I pair each set of same unusual named people up...does it make any more sense? No! Can it be mere uncanny coincidence for the zillionth time or is there something The Universe is trying to draw my attention to?

I'm too puzzled. My head hurts. And I'm Tired, all of this constant overstimulation in addition to my usual hectic zillion things on the go, can just get a little overwhelming...

Sunday, February 7, 2010

It's kinda Sad.

I Love to play Lawn Bowls.

I Love Swimming at Night.

I Love Board Games.

I Love Trivia.

I Love Music, like REALLY love.

I Like to Look at Art.

I Like Quirky films.

I LOVE Nature, I THRIVE on Wide Open Spaces with Clean Air.

I Love Fresh Organic Produce and would go 200km just to try a specialty food.

I Love People Watching, Psychology and Astrology(yes they go hand in hand).

And okay, it's nerdy but I kinda like chess, or at least want to be GOOD at it.

But NOBODY I know likes or wants to do these things!

So I conclude...

Obviously, I know all the WRONG people!!!

....Where can I find *Fun Fun* people like ME? (Probably cooped up at home blogging also ;)

An aside, Super "Social" Day for me...I had 3 people come to my, wonder what planet I woke up on today?!!

Highlights: Giving someone my first Vasovagal Reaction and Night Swimming in Ocean ;)

The Re-Formation of "Art"

When does art become "Art"?

So, what happens when you take an untalented punk that can't draw anything for sh*t and give her two different sized brushes (so cheap the hairs come off and stick to the canvas),a few tubes of paint and mini sheets of canvas?

...Exploration of Line, Texture and Colour!

Which is what I did.

Nothing Spectacular.

HOWEVER. This morning I cut the six dried panels to size, arranged them onto some white paper and housed the lot into a black, although it was only meant to be a "prototype" and very amateur, Reformatted and presented it looks pretty darn *spiffy*...I like how on a wide angle view it enlivens a white wall and on the eye level there is enough interest in the textures, lines etc enough to warrant a closer look.

Whatever the case, I reckon it makes good living room/office wall decoration and people might actually buy it for $150(but I'd only sell it for $250...maybe).

ANYHOW, for 2.5 hours of labour, not a whole lot of skill and minimally expensive resources...that makes me One Happy Camper! :) Now my very sad Living room looks slightly more funky, and it's so easy to do! I can make another one later for my office/treatment space - yay! :)

I have a good feeling this is the year my creativity comes back. Hopefully, this was just the humble prologue to much bigger and more impressive and beautiful things...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

This Blog's Closest Brush with "Art" :p

Once upon a time, when I was but a wee child, before I had been Completely Indoctrinated by the Asian Parent System, I loved to create (and was recognised as somewhat 'talented') the extent that I even had a dedicated painting smock- well actually it was a beige white and brown striped collared shirt probably from an Op Shop and not unlike some old man's daggy pyjama top.

That was a long time ago.

After an extremely long absence, I found myself picking up paints and brushes again tonight... I didn't exactly create anything spectacular but rather, tentatively played with the medium like so...

...remembering why it was never a favourite medium! Especially Cos check out the Spectacular MESS it leaves behind which I have noone to clean up for me instead of me :P

Not to mention it's DIRTY:

And I feel incredibly sick-nauseous and headachey- now...from those supposedly "non toxic" fumes...


Apart from that, I leave you with more pics: a funny sms exchange with my b'day twin who despite being Very Young age-wise still identifies as one of the relatively more mature souls of The Universe...

Apologies for the cynicism (and the "Sic") but, hey...REALITY...Can you BLAME us?

We're...IDEALISTS!!! :-p

Grateful for the Rainy Reprieve

I am such a water baby- rain doesn't bother me much, especially when the temperature is always so high anyway! Thursday night I was pretty wet from swimming and still I walked umbrella less in the rain so by the time I arrived at a restaurant I was sopping wet and had to pull out my chamois towel to catch my dripping hair!

In any case although I did miss an art exhibition I had wanted to catch I got a very luxurious opportunity to just lie on the couch and start on the big collection of DVDs I've borrowed off a mate.

The film I saw was THE READER which I really liked...but then again, I do have an almost perverted interest in any stories to do with Nazi Germany and Kate Winslet and Ralph Fiennes are even more cool than normal in German mode, lol....I'm not the only one Italian penpal is researching and writing an entire novel set during this time! It sounds quite Dan Brown or Matthew Reilly-esque so far except it's based on true events...

Musically I've been really into BLONDE REDHEAD specifically the sound of Kazu Makino's alien like voice.

Food wise I'm still stuffing my face with dark chocolate infused with berry bits.

I've been enjoying shutting off from the tangible world and going into my cave...during the week exposed to "normal modern city society" it's kind of...insane! I need a peaceful weekend as counterbalance.

My mother called me a loner the other day. And my aunty tried to get me to go to her church where there are lots of people "my age"...I politely declined. LOL. I really don't find much common ground with people my age I'd rather spend my spare time talking to golden oldies or at least the people who are also old inside and not just look it outside. Call me a snob, lol.

Currently, I am debating whether to attempt to fill an empty canvas. Even if I want to break out in paints, I have absolutely no idea what to scrawl...I actually was considering even buying a large mirror and doing a glass mosaic frame since my living room is embarrassingly Spartan white walls with not an ounce of inspiration, spirit or creativity, unless you count my childlike coloured-in mandalas hastily posted randomly with bluetack...

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Fighting White: Bleach Mission!

Spent most of yesterday afternoon consumed in an unravelling saga of laundry...

I had my white clinic jacket hanging next to an indian dyed singlet...a dark GREEN indian dyed singlet. So the inevitable dye spots-arghhh!

I tried Napisan....faded but still obvious green spots!

I cut to the chase...Need Bleach!! Had none...Quick emergency dash to the supermarket. Bought super heavy duty gloves(that was a good call).

Okay, so white now, in the washing machine. As time was ticking down I hung it near the balcony door where there was more wind...

Meanwhile Miss Multitasking Extraordinaire(Rare Days only) was cooking up a storm in the kitchen simultaneously making a huge pot of Malaysian curry to last 2 weeks and then a pot of udon soup noodles for dinner. Then my intuition sensed, all was not well...

I went to check on my drying jacket...Yikes! Dusty black spots all over one side where it had touched the dirty flyscreen!

MAN. Into the washing machine again...I was careful to set the spin speed to highest RPM(1200).

In any case, at 1am I think it will be ready in time (fingers crossed).

I really don't understand why people insist on WHITE jackets :p

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

And so the Universe Conspires...

OMG, I just had the most unusual set of circumstances transpire tonight. So strange in fact that I'm pretty sure it's some kind of sign and very definitive shove in a certain direction. Actually this is the second ever time I had a kind of amazing set of circumstances - synchronicity- that makes for a nice story, the first however was hugely worthy of Hollywood ;)

In any case, it was all a nice reminder that I am not so disconnected from the world as I often feel...