"You don't belong here!"

It was the inevitable waiting to happen...Quite a JOKE really coming from a white INVADER of convict descent who has only populated this country for a mere blink of its history...

And treated its rightful owners with such contempt. If I were any closer I might have liked to add my own correction: "Well then, neither do you!"

In any case I didn't choose to be here: the choice was made for me. That got me thinking...just like people of mixed ethnicity who have a right to choose between each parents citizenships, people who had their nationality and citizenship decided for them as a child should have the right to decide which country they choose to belong to as an adult. Cos seriously after what I have experienced in my latter years here particularly recently I would seriously considering rescinding my citizenship...for one I am SO EMBARRASSED. In the past few months the few times I had non white looking people come to visit I'd say there was at least a 50% strike rate of a racial incident against them. It is embarrassing...as an idealist if I could rule the world I would make a global country purely with a population of educated and evolved minds. And like toyboy says the only way to end racism is probably to interbreed until everybody resembles a truly global ethnicity...

Maybe that is why I like NYC so much- it is like the global capital of the world...racism doesn't...CAN'T fly as much as it does here...I guess though that it is the effects of the Global Financial Crisis...the increasing resentment of the ethnicities that tend to be successful, rich and why? Because they work damn hard and have had their forefathers sacrifice a lot for them to receive a proper education and training so that they have a future their forefathers could only have dreamed of...

Okay before I get lured into being and staying completely racist myself I have to say that it IS a minority of imbeciles and I have great white aussie neighbours and people on the whole are pretty good compared to other countries...but that is also because apart from aesthetics there is nothing "obviously foreign" about me...

But yeah having lived the entire time here I can definitely say there is a revival of White Australia happening here big time! I just wish there were more aboriginals around to tell these bigoted invaders off LOL! For people who are not familiar with this country don't be surprised that you will be hard pressed to view ANY indigenous Australians(Aborigines) in daily life in the city...for that you need to go into the remote and desert regions...

Basically unless you are WHITE and MALE Australia is NOT paradise socially. It IS a beautiful country of space and nature and a great outdoors life though...

In other news I saw a very sad, shocked and traumatised looking Kookaburra sitting on my fence...then it occurred to me with all the slaughtering of the trees that went down today...my kookaburra friends are out of a home! Oh it's sad, Man and his unthoughtful destruction everywhere he goes...

A Point of Difference

(The only problem with living in gorgeous natural surrounds is that when it comes time for the trees to get a trim it is a VERY NOISY sleep defying procedure...between the horsepower revolutions of the electric chainsaw to the *whoosh!* as the thundering vibrations of large branches fall and hit the ground...)

I recently came across a character so refreshing I felt genuinely compelled and drawn for no other reason than uniqueness and a MUCH NEEDED 'breath of fresh air'...a point of difference amongst the stock standard majority culture of this isolated backwater.

Recently I felt so frustrated in this country with its trademark chauvinistic treatment of women to its low standards, anti intellectualism and bordering racist treatment of ethnic minorities...I remember learning about our country being a "melting pot" in primary school... rather than a melting pot it is increasingly pockets of different ethnicities all co-existing side by side and failing to have any flow of discourse between neighbours...breeding resentment especially if that culture wants to practise and preserve its indigenous traditions. I think the problem needs to be approached with a healthy balance...that all ethnic groups should have the freedom to practise their culture such as religious festivals and whatnot that doesn't violate the laws of that country however they should still care to make an effort with the mother tongue and integrate with the rest of the residents of their host country...

So as I've exited a globally flavoured educated intellectual context I have more than noticed the external population here have a really strong reaction to me- they either like or dislike me immensely...I have the ability to polarise populations! LOL Basically I think it stands as this...anybody who appreciates uniqueness and individualism will side with me but those who feel threatened by anything that is not status quo and need a generic robot standard will find me very challenging because I refuse to conform. Perhaps why I well deserve the "anti-conformist" and "rebel" label my folks pinned on me at a young age...

When I was younger perhaps it was more a case of "rebel without a cause" but as I grow older and feel incredibly oppressed by the dominant dissonant culture I feel a need to assert my right to be different and resentment towards people wanting to push me into boxes just so they feel more comfortable about themselves! And more than ever I feel a need to preserve my standards...and that the way forward is to push boundaries and always aim towards higher things. Not to stay complacent and degenerate...So there's definitely a clash of values happening here...

I guess when one's character defies all common and expected norms and sits at the far end of the bell curve and is not mute...yeah that invites a lot of arrows fired your way. I guess insecurity is a normal part of biological evolution...and a healthy characteristic of self preservation and survival instinct...so at the end of the day ALIENS, UNITE! lol well either that or leave like everybody I actually like seems to...

Dinner: One Cucumber :-o!

No I'm not depressed and lost my appetite. No I'm not so poor I can only afford one cucumber. No I'm not doing some heroic fast for some niche political cause. No I'm not depressed and have body image issues so I will only let myself eat one cucumber cos I'm on some silly diet...

But I DID just have ONE cucumber for dinner!! You see cos this was not any old cucumber! It was a *magic cucumber* I grew MYSELF! ^^ ^^ ^^

So it was a pretty special cucumber...and I found that out when I ate it...Wowee I was SOooo FULL! (I'm not kidding!!!)

I've actually had this conversation with one of my food grower buddies before...basically anything you grow yourself completely organically...it just is more filling! Why? Not quite sure but we theorized that it had something to do with all that TIME it takes to grow NATURALLY without the use of chemical fertilizers etc...well it has taken in all that sun and air energy from so many days!

But apart from that it also had a lot more flavour than that watered down commercial crap. Anyway now that I harvested my sole cucumber I'm going to have to wait quite a while for the next magic one...lol so lucky I have funds to buy sufficient ingredients for alternative dinners while I wait...That's the trouble with growing things in pots...you can't grow on mass...but eh who wants to eat 10 cucumbers every night anyway?

p.s My conclusions and observations of late...people my age and in my age and vicinity are 90% CRAZY, women ESPECIALLY are CRAZY!
p.p.s I REALLY hate this Tall Poppy Syndrome culture we have here...basically someone is always jealous of you of EVERYTHING and hates you for no better reason than for whatever lame reason they can come up with or wherever their insecurity lies...it's all this projection crap!
p.p.s my final rant is that non old and non young people are all so boring geez all they wanna talk about is relationships, people gossip etc...for an INTJ mentality boy this is tiresome! *yawn*
p.p.p.s I totally buy into that life works in terms of REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY...if you don't want something you get it in DROVES and if you do you DON'T! so yes for whatever you want I think you should probably construe it in your head as "I don't want this"...and voila...see I know ALLLLL the cool magic tricks, lol! Unfortunately however I have still not worked out how to make poorly made CDs know how to play music without skipping...grrrrr! I will hold out on CDs yet...Grandma is not quite ready to make the sacriligeous transition to digitized music :P

Peace in Solitude

I think this is the thing I REALLY APPRECIATE lately.

I don't think most people get it at all though...they just think I'm weird. But BOY am I thankful for solitude, even experiencing the car crash of roller coaster emotions of other people by association that go nuts crazy and irrational due to social/romantic issues is just too much disturbance to the peace I am used to relishing in in my "sanctuary"! :D

So yeah I'm all into hermit escape mode in a bid to protect this peace while I recuperate and rest up from too much social interaction...life is just so much simpler and soooo luxuriously peaceful when you only have to cater for yourself...of course friendship is awesome but except for those minority few in the world that are quite contented by themselves...social relations with people that have messy social issues is one drain I don't need right now...of course no man is an island but I don't really like "the social network" effect either. So I guess my favourite people in the world are happily married people, happily single people, really old people and pre-pubescent kids...YAY!

So my best friends will be God and taking refuge in and indulging my interests...I think overly complicated people just really do need very very simple lives to balance them out...maybe that is why I am so drawn to farming...and nature, and animals...

I still need to add piano lessons to this I think. I love to zone out with music and film too...art perhaps but I hate the messy clean up after!!

Foreign and Interstate Imports...

Sometimes I feel like this is what I have to do for any decent people or good company in my city...geez it is not something that has long term sustainable ease, viability and feasibility.

Boy the culture and people in this city is taxing and draining. It's like unless you can be fake worldly bimboey glamorous dishonest flakey and shallow you aren't going to get on with 95% of the locals in the young generation anyway...

How can one city be so different from another just 1000km apart I wonder? I'm talking Melbourne, Melbourne is definitely more for me...sigh, this is becoming an age old problem for me...

Manners are a sign of good breeding

LOL maybe I'm starting to show my age/grandma tendencies. But seriously the mediocre level of courtesy and manners exhibited in Australia these days is appalling...basically the only place worse I would think is China and Hongkong...Australia is still asia anyway just a more white looking asia...


I can't say I was ever a classist snob or anything but as the disintegration of society and civil decency fuelled by the internet continues with the youngins, whenever I encounter, I SERIOUSLY appreciate
a) basic manners and courtesy
b) people being able to spell using full words and sentences with correct grammar and punctuation
c) people being able to keep appointments with some degree of promptness rather than relying on being able to call through with delay or cancellation by mobile phone 5 minutes beforehand...no wonder most health practitioners now charge full fees if not given 24 hours notice!
d) people who think of others

Anyway that was just my rant for today, obviously we need class leaders in manners and etiquette and civil courtesy...Japanese, Swiss etc to come over and give the youth of Australia the education they LACK! I'm ashamed to welcome international visitors over when they are subjected to rudeness on the level you get here.

INTERNATIONALS.....Arghhhhhh!!!! :-D

THANK. YOU. GOD!!!!

May you and I all never forget that God is faithful and answers prayers :) ^^ ^^ ^^!!

So anyway I was *so so excited* I finally cracked through my monoculture no culture brains void bang head on brick wall issue here....

I seriously had had it up to HERE(motions 50cm above head) with the uncultured yob factor and Tall Poppy Sooks I get subjected to here...not to mention all the vacant stares...seriously, okay for sure it's elitist and Aussies have major overaffliction of Tall Poppy Syndrome and thus related oversensitivity but SERIOUSLY, sometimes it IS just about being able to converse with people at the SAME LEVEL of your understanding on various things...I don't know why such offense and discrimination is directed at cultured intellectuals in this country I mean I wouldn't have a clue what you were talking about if you talk engines and tools yet I don't get a CHIP ON MY SHOULDER because of admitting I'm ignorant about cars!

So yes Thank God for the Multi-cultured seemingly less neanderthal Internationals :)

I reflected on the whole debacle of how I CLASH so much with the majority of native locals left in this country these last few years since 90% of my friends went overseas...the solution I found had a lot to do with teeing up with a really really old friend of mine who went to the same infants, primary, highschool AND uni I did...all in all we received a pretty high and advanced standard of education as can best be expected in Sydney....she too has found herself less than ecstatic with the Aussies and in love with the foreigners!! Like just about all my friends...

And I realised it goes like THIS....once you get out of fairly academic environments you get presented with the REAL state of Australia...and that is one where there is a very very low level of education among its residents....by this stage many of the highly educated typically go overseas since their qualifications give them access to more promising encouraging environments. I guess it's also cos our population is not that big either and not to mention higher education is a bit costly :P so relative we have quite a small population of very educated people, maybe throw in we are marooned on a desolate island far removed from the rest of the world...and it is so easy to shelter in a kangaroo microcosm where that much sun fries the brains and that much water clogs the ears that people aren't that broadly informed either...

And that is why as highly educated intelligent minority ethnicity FEMALES we are subjected to a huuuuge amount of disfavour and discrimination by the dominant majority in this country...I guess being a male minded non submissive slightly feminist INTJ doesn't help either ;) lol the more minority you are I think the more of a rude shock it is for the average person to encounter ...like something they have never encountered...and they don't quite know how to handle you but lament you are weird and abnormal because you are such a rare and special minority...hehe...if people thought I was weird here I wonder how HO gets away with it??LOL Simple. SHE is in America the Land of the Free! lol and anYthinG really does go there!!!

But seriously...in the last few years as the success of the asians particularly the Mainland Chinese has really made a huge presence known in this city I have really felt a level of racism and jealousy never experienced before growing up just because of what I look like on the outside! Which in turn has naturally made me start to feel resentment toward the other side...I know it happens all over the world but for the first 20 years or so of my life it was seriously a non issue, which is how I would have liked it to stay!

Wow code cracked, I'm glad...it's been such a mystery my inner psychologist has pondered so much about why I clashed so much with locals especially Aussie men of my vintage and younger my whole life...

It IS a cultural issue. Anyway once you work out what it is that is irking then you can just avoid it as much as possible...yay! ...Happy days! :)

A serious CONFESSION.

I'm actually starting to SERIOUSLY despise this country, or at least the majority population here just cos of what they're like...

Have a read of this thread...it's all true! Very disappointing. It's not like it was, typical Australian society has evolved into something really quite repulsive...

Congratulations to my multitudes of friends who have managed to mass exodus LEAVE over the past ten years and never come back!!!

In the meantime, I will endure, lol

Please please please let me meet some nice expats and foreigners here...somehow. Otherwise I'm going to turn into both a misanthropist and complete & utter racist...I have never met a bigger density of absolute D*CKHEADS than the twenties thirties generation in Sydney, Australia...which is also why my overseas friends who have visited once are unlikely to ever visit again...

It would be so refreshing to meet a sincere, honest person with depth and intellect of my vintage in this country...but that is seriously challenging the odds! I would know...it's been 30 years! lol, yes, which is why I identify as an optimist...if it's not IMPOSSIBLE there is still a possibility...

But to be honest, I really wish I was in Europe or North America amongst THEIR people right now...

No Kidding!

No wonder I feel like I'm living in DUMB CENTRAL. And no wonder there is so much discrimination against people if they have brains...that they either leave or get tempted to...

Western Medicine is failing us and bugs are getting the better of us :P

Just my thought as it seems almost all the cityslickers I know (who have never been sickly people) seem to be getting ill with that this and the other...

I had a good friend who I haven't literally spoken to in over a YEAR actually call me after sending text messages (the like of which I had never seen from her before) ending in...Help!

Yes it seems that the superbugs are getting the better of us as we step further and further away from our natural selves and the way man was supposed to interact with his environment and each other causing a whole scourge-epidemic of health and other problems never before seen at these kinds of levels...while man disrespects the planet and even his own body like he does the world will continue to spiral in a downward fashion...

Disclaimer...western medicine is commendable on certain aspects eg surgery/emergency medical intervention and equipment mediated diagnosis, medical science gene/cell based therapies, however on the whole they are totally helpless to be able to treat a wide range of health problems seeing as their salve seems to revolve around that zillion dollar pharmaceutical industry which while it may alleviate that pain over there it will create a new pain and disease process somewhere else! And while they fail to recognise the body is a HOLISTIC interactional dynamic of a living thing their medicine will closely resemble a dummy covered in bandaid plasters!

So yeah on the whole isolated and remote country bumpkins should feel pretty damn blessed to enjoy relatively better health cos of their healthy living environs and healthier lifestyle practices! cheers bumpkins! :D

Okay so when a German tells me so I listen, lol

Talk about PREJUDICED! LOL

So anyway my German gf who I highly admire and respect told me to be a certain way. Somehow when a German tells me so I listen and obey, lol...it's hypnotoad on Futurama all over again!

So from that what to conclude? Humans are a completely irrational species!!! But then again there are those that attribute it to gender...LOL

An aside, I was told that with how to get on with the opposite genders it goes like this...for males a female puts in 50% listening and 50% understanding. With females males need 100% listening and 0% understanding. Obviously a Male told me that! *eye roll*

I feel wrung out with too much social interaction and being pulled in so many directions-not like I can retain my structural energetic integrity easily when I feel like lots of vultures all grabbing at me...I think introverted hermits were not made for this...I've scheduled in serious CAVE TIME for recovery next week, however the next month is a bit hectic!! (But also possibly exciting...)

p.s for the record while I'm being irrationally(?) prejudiced can I just put on the record...I. ABSOLUTELY. CANNOT. STAND. LEO. MEN. I guess that is probably why I have drawn them my entire life probably in about an 80% to other ratio!!!!! see...there is some rationality to my rant!

My Franco-Sino Day and Racial Tensions

Okay cos of my vicious cycle of wet hair late at night this blog gets graced with a post about the trivial minutiae of my day :P

My Sweet Tooth always gets a good work out when I'm in the city...hit the patisseries!!

Diversion 1 was an artisan pink metallic powder dusted pistacchio macaron with white chocolate ganache and sour cherries. So-so not bad but not amazing, did not superseded expectations or the best macaron I have tasted.

Diversion 2 was inspired by having recently eaten my first Krispy Kreme thing. I was just comparing so I got a French patisserie chocolate custard filled donut...it was pretty good...

Yikes, no wonder I now have a sore throat...no regrets though!

Latter half of the day I indulged some asian flavours...seaweed and spicy tofu ramen in pork stock soup...then a classic pearl milk tea(but damn I should have got the premium for 20c more it's worth it!)

anyway aaaaah...happy belly!

Apart from that forgot what DRAMA is inherent in city living....first my train had to get replaced due to VANDALISM and smashed windows- yes society is going down the drain...

then a humungous bitch fight broke out when one lady sprayed some tea tree thing and another lady tried to tell her to not spray it in an enclosed space...it got rather heated and some threats of fisty cuffs ensued! I was trying not to listen but also trying to work out who I sided with past thinking adult women are so bitchy and belligerent and petty...and why must I live among such unevolved people? BUt then my loyalties got seriously tested when the whitey started making racist insinuations towards the black haired lady, which were really quite irrelevant to the initial teatree situation...at one point the scale was tipping in favour of my asian roots and I had to seriously bite my lip to not embroil in an intervention with my perfectly anunciated and perfectly grammatically correct English sentences despite my black hair- oh wow! :p

Basically the 2c i really wanted to add but refrained was that white people here are MIGRANTS and INVADERS too- why are "Aussies" always so quick to forget the true original owners of the land and the way their land, culture and people were STOLEN?

So yeah I had to express my 2c here...Grrrr!

Misunderstood

I get misunderstood and misinterpreted ALOT in this country...it's really very annoying. I can't understand why...all I can guess is that the culture does not suit me. For one, it's not kind to introverts, it's got a Tall Poppy syndrome hangup and the culture is that women are totally treated like objects. Some people are just in the wrong hemisphere I guess, let alone born in the wrong generation...

Which I guess is why all my friends escaped and keep escaping since 10 years ago...to places where achievers get encouraged rather than cut down and culture is more than sport worship, beaches, Barbies and beer.

But the land and the countryside is great- maybe not quite as nice as New Zealand but at least not prone to devastating earthquakes...I'm not going to throw in my citizenship yet just cos I prefer Northern hemisphere society...JJ am I seeing it through rose coloured glasses? I'm curious if you came here what you'd think...I think people similar to me never like it...which is why they always leave...

I googled to see if anyone else shared my experience and found an interesting entry from a female living in New Zealand who also identified as "more european than locally cultured"...apparently the only to solution is to RELOCATE...that or to import Euros ;)

Only problem is I never met a Euro of the introverted vein (ie like me) that wanted to live here ...I guess you will naturally gravitate to cultures which are more in line with your own personality...I am way way out of my comfort zone then...except I do like the local Oldies, oh and Tradies are fun to talk to :D

Seemingly futile sense of accomplishment :P

So I've gotten real HIGHS from being so self sufficient and being able to do handy country bumpkin-esque things for myself and learning about such things which I and my entire social circle as typically desk professionals know ZILCH about and have no talent for...

In any case everytime I achieve something it seems like the next day I'm at square one again with a new insurmountable "handy" challenge-arghhhhhh! It's almost like that company HIRE A HUBBY was made for me!!! I guess that's what you get when you were born petite and fragile with uncoordinated fingers and toes! It's so amazing what tradey types can do-my neighbour was just showing me a steam train he built entirely from scratch wheels and all-wwwwwooooowwww.

Anyway I think the initial lesson of moving to a town I know noone in was: learn to be independent and self sufficient, and now the lesson has evolved to be a reminder that one still needs other people...so the moral at the end of the day is, as always...BALANCE!!!

Of course though if I was filthy rich I would just get a personal assistant and could employ people to do all the most basic of things for me...maybe that should be an aspiration, a useful if not shallow one...

Being English...

Q. And how is the weather?

A. cold. cold. cold. WET. WET. WET.

I hate this English weather. Day in Day Out.
...I'm utterly HANGING OUT to do my laundry!

On another note, I am feeling DAMN CIVILISED as of tonight LOL...for example, tonight I cooked dinner IN A KITCHEN, ate at a TABLE sitting ON A CHAIR, then had tea sitting at a LOUNGE with a COFFEE TABLE. Now I am typing AT A DESK and later I will SLEEP ON A BED! LOL, it was fun being a bohemian gypsie dero for...4 months but boy is it a relief to have FURNITURE, APPLIANCES and a bit of all round modern convenience...too bad the weather's been so crap but hey when I have so much luxury indoors it's not so bad after all...I'm looking forward to a TV tho...it's been 4 months since I had one! I need to catch up on what ol' Meredith's been up to!!! ;)

Ohhh noooo it's no good to be a Granny!

I can't believe I have been waiting aaaages for my favourite band of the contemporary era to FRIGGIN COME DOWN UNDER again and I missed out on tickets...*sigh* feel FLAT now.

Not sure why I hesitated...I guess I forgot that in the years since I saw them they've become big name superstars so Old Granny wasn't fast enough in her little golf buggy!

Boo Hoo. I guess though that means more $ for other artists gigs...but I do feel that Down Under is often a wasteland in terms of being able to have access to good music just cos the distance is so so far for Northern hemisphere musos to have to come...

I'm tempted to go interstate to catch them...but hmph, already had to forfeit several planned trips this year cos of health....so probably not...can't get tickets so far in advance! It's each day as it comes these days...not like before I used to plan the day, the week, the month, the year in advance...I was always completely scheduled at least a month in advance...now it's really...spontaneous...things on a whim. There are benefits to this I guess...I am far more relaxed and well rested for one...

The Little Prince

Mata Hari, you understood me best when you said I am the Little Prince.

On my lone asteroid, my heart-filled happiness springs from one red flower and a pet sheep of my own creation...occasional light hearted chuckles inspired by quirky offbeat things like funny looking lantern bearers.

There are few other visitors or inhabitants, the nearest many lights years of constellation away.

I find myself The Little Prince, always at a distance from the real world. The decrepitude of modern society insults my incredibly child-like idealism where I want to know a world full of rainbows and sunshine, pots of gold and angels with fluffy white wings and unattainable perfection. Instead I find myself looking around desperately for some noise-insulating earmuffs to accessorise the dark shades that often happily shelter my eyes. I guess it is like how some adults choose not to watch the news or read the papers. Perhaps it was borne of watching a minimum three news bulletins a day from as young as I can remember.

No wonder I spend so much time immersed in music, with nature, and feel this urgent spiritual hunger. And no wonder I must be the Hermit and limit my interactions with others since this is that which guaranteed, constantly loves to uproot my sense of peace.

Are churchgoers more wholesome?

Probably not, but even as a Façade it’d be comforting right now. As an HSP(Highly Sensitive Person) I get traumatized REALLY easily and one thing that can do it in a really extreme way is to give me TMI(Too Much Information) about the seedier side of life.

I am much happier to shelter in an ignorant little bubble of puritan bliss!

My good mate once told me “stick to your own kind”(e.g INTJs) sometimes it really is your best friends that know what’s best for you. So anyway I will toodooloo for a bit cos I think I really need some intense “cleansing” alone time(!)

I think you will understand us best when I describe what my b’day twin does re overly sensitizing information- she covers her ears with her hands! That’s a typical HSP self preservation tactic. I just wish I had employed it a bit earlier today :P …I must be getting old because I think I heard ENOUGH of all those things I don’t want to know about…

Boohoo, yet another night of difficult to come by sleep :(

H.O, I know what you’re going to say: Move to Utah! Let me tell you an entire hemisphere and social and cultural change could well be what I need most right now!!!

This is hilarious

I was just feeling sorry for myself at being stuck here and concluding that the biggest gripe I have with this nation that constantly makes my soul feel like it is shrivelling up is the lack of depth of people here- sure it is easy as hell to find people that look good but once you are trying to find intelligent and interesting and broadly informed people that can provide mental engagement or hold a conversation that is in anyway meaningful or interesting...well it feels like a very very barren place.

So anyway I found that this article seemed to confirm everything I believe- but the saddest part is I completely agree and I'm actually a local! :p

Besides the geography and weather and good produce there is actually very little redeeming about this country- another thing you need to remember is that this country hates Tall Poppies with a vengeance so you better just be average or substandard (unless it is about sport)...hmmm, if I'm gonna be stuck in the South, maybe defecting to New Zealand is not such a bad call. I personally prefer excess sheep population and empty green hills to the defects of here any day...

Left Behind…

I’m not sure what’s getting to me more – the physical constraints and consequential limitations, the isolation, the fact that I am accustomed to exciting long weekends GETTING AWAY and DOING something FUN, or being busy bee-ly occupied or that by some strange mystery of my own intuitive physiology, my body “clock” is just too aware that THIS was supposed to be the week I would leave on my long awaited world adventure of a lifetime that has had so much blood sweat and tears shed on and SO MANY opportunities forfeited for.

Whatever the case, I sure find myself with itchy feet. And there’s only so much I feel I can continue to spin in this vortex that is the Tania and Jori Version of THE PRESETS “I know you” on repeat…

The Saturn Return continues… I guess this is the year I truly learn that hard lesson that One’s “agenda” is never truly one’s own...and that all is subject to the Grace of God and God’s Will…

In any case I think, if I had a magic wand and could change the way things have unfolded would I change anything? I find comfort in that answer being a resounding “no”. Strange, but this unique time has been invaluable, in particular the new lenses with which I now see everything through.