Okay so when a German tells me so I listen, lol

Talk about PREJUDICED! LOL

So anyway my German gf who I highly admire and respect told me to be a certain way. Somehow when a German tells me so I listen and obey, lol...it's hypnotoad on Futurama all over again!

So from that what to conclude? Humans are a completely irrational species!!! But then again there are those that attribute it to gender...LOL

An aside, I was told that with how to get on with the opposite genders it goes like this...for males a female puts in 50% listening and 50% understanding. With females males need 100% listening and 0% understanding. Obviously a Male told me that! *eye roll*

I feel wrung out with too much social interaction and being pulled in so many directions-not like I can retain my structural energetic integrity easily when I feel like lots of vultures all grabbing at me...I think introverted hermits were not made for this...I've scheduled in serious CAVE TIME for recovery next week, however the next month is a bit hectic!! (But also possibly exciting...)

p.s for the record while I'm being irrationally(?) prejudiced can I just put on the record...I. ABSOLUTELY. CANNOT. STAND. LEO. MEN. I guess that is probably why I have drawn them my entire life probably in about an 80% to other ratio!!!!! see...there is some rationality to my rant!

Well I AM a Water Girl after all ;)

I saw WATER FOR ELEPHANTS tonight...and LIKED...lol I think, alas...in my old age...I'm getting mushier and more sentimental. I especially really have a heart for animals these days...(but not dogs, I am so getting over my love affair with dogs- they seriously don't chain them up in this area and they are terrifying monsters!)

In any case another interesting development is that I am SO OVER my Venus in Aquarius obsession...I'm even over fire signs...yup I think this girl has grown up and out of OPPOSITES ATTRACT. These days I finally see my fellow water signs for the absolutely thoughtful, darling, kind, giving, compassionate, sensitive and caring, intuitive and understanding beings that they are...FINALLY I am in touch with what traditional astrological wisdom has always said!

I'm going to get THE CAT tomorrow...any name suggestions? LOL, some times love really is at first sight...I just need that cat!

The Jehovah's Witness that knocked on my door came AGAIN this time showing up with reinforcements...luckily it is easy for me to be blunt...I just said "LOOK I REALLY DON'T CARE"....lol and I didn't even feel a tad rude or guilty about it, I love it, I love my aspie tendencies :)

Different Time, Different Place, Different Circumstance

I seem to meet a lot of random people transiently. Probably cos I'm a solitary one and don't hang around in groups. In any case I often meet a lot of offbeat people this way, ie they are guaranteed interesting :) I also meet a lot of super cool people this way. And often I find myself thinking if only...

Different Place, Different Time, Different Circumstance they'd be so meaningful to me. Actually I have heard this one a lot lately "If only I'd met you earlier!"

Eh it kinda sucks.

Some people are cynical but I really do believe in "instant clicking" with people. I think for me this is the way it works...relationships don't always have to be such CONSCIOUS EFFORT...(except for Marriage, LOL)...Sometimes it really is about who you just "get along" with! And just between you and me I can pretty much guarantee 100% of these clicks can be explained by Astrological Compatibility ;) Seriously. I'd make an educated guess that Astrologers don't even bother making effort with people unless they have checked their chart...I know one who surfed the net saw a pretty face checked her birthday and then wrote to a complete random. She is now his wife- happily married...easy easy...cos of COMPATIBILITY. People who aren't compatible, sure you may LEARN a lot but it's always pain and kind of a waste of time in the whole scheme of Life is Short so why waste your time? (Unless of course you're needing Growth, pain in the ass that growth business is but makes us all the more wiser :)

Oh wow that was a serious aside and tangent- a first for me for a while LOL!

In any case just in case you needed a healthy lunch idea this is what I did yesterday in my 5 min simple healthy minimal ingredients meal challenge...and as usual it was tasty :) (p.s all the vegetables I use are 100% organic picked off a farm kinda thing....FRESH^^)

I didn't have a rice paper wrap or similar so I had to use an oat wrap which was a bit of a messy operation cos the juices just decimated it...I'd recommend a rice paper wrap a la Vietnamese rice paper roll type :)

Half a can of tuna in extra virgin olive oil, strained(the olive oil just preserves the tuna flavour better)
finely chopped garlic
pinch of italian herbs
half a tomato chopped.
a small zucchini chopped into thin short strips
a small teaspoon of extra virgin olive oil

Sautee half of the garlic in the hot oil, dump in the herbs, zucchinis stirfry briefly. Mix in the tuna along with the other half of your garlic(yes this is raw). You then "bung" (can you tell I'm in Austraaalia?) this into the rice paper wrap along with your fresh chopped tomato...Yummy. Kid's Play. Well here's looking at just one big kid here ;) My alter Ego is the very old essence that mixes it with all the senior citizens. (I've learnt to manage what seems like having 2 personalities in one to many people...WHO says you can't be a child with wisdom or an old person with a youthful personality ALL IN ONE!?? Not everything is has to be discrete Black and White!!! hehe...)

Scorpio with Venus in Libra Girl...

Oh the trials and tribulations...

I'm finding my astrology (okay maybe I am unfairly blaming rather than accepting personal responsibility, lol) significantly challenging...I guess if you add an INTJ to anything - well, at a 1%of the population prevalence perhaps we are a MINORITY for a reason! :P

In any case not sure if it is just the time of the year or the time of the month or whatever but I'm finding that most people...GRATE! arghhhhhhhhhh.

Except Venus in Aquarians...they never ever grate...where can I find more of these elusive species? I'm not kidding it is rare I get along well with people and voila the last 4 people I met in the last 2 years that I found incredibly no hair pulling effort EASY to get along with turned out to have their Venus in Aquarius!!!

Not sure why but it's a very compelling pattern I find in my life...

Healthwise...things seem to be on the up and up...so that is fantastic...maybe soon I can start making progress again...FORWARD progress! How do I know? Well I have been very hungry, eating lots, have energy to cook, make some trips...enough wellness to get RESTLESS and bored again...pondering what is next for the Zhen?

Zodiac Insights By Zhen

So I’ve whirled myself around the zodiac a few revolutions attempting to get to know each sign better and this is a list personal to me – the one thing I most LIKE(+) and DISLIKE(-) about each of the signs…there are only two signs I REALLY couldn’t come up with cos I don’t know enough members of that zodiac to be able to decide on one defining positive attribute, so maybe some other folks can help fill those vacancies in…

ARIES +CHEMISTRY – SELF FIRST ATTITUDE

TAURUS + TRUSTWORTHY –JUDGEMENTAL

GEMINI +INTELLECTUAL CURIOSITY –ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS

CANCER + ?? –OVERSENSITIVE

LEO +GENEROUS GIVERS – NEEDY OF ATTENTION

VIRGO +RELIABLE - WORK OBSESSED

LIBRA + FAIR –FENCE SITTERS

SCORPIO + INTERESTING –UNFORGIVING

SAGGITARIUS +FUN – RECKLESS

CAPRICORN +?? – STATUS OBSESSED

AQUARIUS +TOLERANT/ACCEPTING OF DIFFERENCES –DETACHED

PISCES +UNDERSTANDING LISTENERS -PASSIVE

The Saturn Return

Ouch. So painful.

Would be nice to just go into hibernation until it all blows over. Or do an ostrich and stick head in dirt completely oblivious to the carnage it wreaks in its path of destruction!

Hopefully sooner rather than later, in time, little shoots of new growth will burst through the layer of debris, finally fertile.

Sometimes when you just want to run...

maybe all you really need to do is to manifest that physically....And Go for a run!

I did that for the first time in years and it felt good...some how running seems to be one of those things where you are able to capture that elusive sensation of true freedom even if just for a moment and forget everything else. Sigur Ros's Gong also seems to encompass that for me...so put two together and it's pretty effective :) I think I might try and incorporate this into my daily routine.

Before in my old town I used to just walk and walk under the stars at whatever time(because I could) until I could think no more...however round these parts you can't get too far before you literally hit a brick wall or a traffic light and you wouldn't try it at odd hours because you don't want to find yourself being the untimely headline of the next day :P.

It's not easy to get any kind of peace in these parts. Even when I tried to get some deep breaths and more passive meditative quiet time to myself doing some yoga stretches in the park two pit bull terriers started circling me!

To jump all over the place, the concept of figurative running-escape got me thinking, especially of all my various wanderlusty nomad friends over the years who are now scattered across the globe in God knows where doing God knows what...why do some people travel and travel and can never seem to settle in any one spot or circumstance...most of us always seem to be running...what are we all running from? What are we so scared of?

Lately for me it's been limitations, hardships...which has been manifesting as a slightly reckless complete disregard for all responsibilities with a hefty consumption of unnecessary reading and audio/visual material without looking at the bills or thinking about future consequences...

When I start doing that, it's very evident that I'm having some kind of "crisis". "Drug me up!" I said to the herbalist today caving...

Typical of my random interactions with random people I got talking to the dispensary who suddenly says to me

"What star sign are you? I think you are really similar to me: I'm a Scorpio."

I had to crack a grin...a taste of my own medicine- so refreshing and so taken off guard.

"Why do you think that?" I asked, intrigued.

"Because...you're Mysterious...and interesting."

LOL, talk about fishing for compliments? ;)

Anyway our conversation ensued very entertaining for me really to have a taste of my own medicine...all the things I spew out of my own mouth...the same conclusions, advices etc...

However our conversation was rudely interrupted by some seedy old man...who was very persistent in pestering about a "deer penis". "Deer Tail!" we kept trying to correct him. "Deer Penis" he kept saying- honestly I started to feel my irritation rise...I can't stand these horny old men who reduce the entirety of our craft down to some kind of Cheaper Viagra Subtitute. Besides feeling peeved I actually feel kinda sorry for these sad old men who desperately cling to what they once were thinking they can just boil up some hapless animal part thinking they can suddenly be transformed into a God with almighty powers or something :P

A finally nice surprise for me today was having one of my "peeps" call from overseas! Immediately the dark and negative vibes started to melt away as if stunned by a ray of sunshine. It's such a relief to talk to one of your peeps when you feel all alone and crisis-ing and they are so damn far away.

"Peeps" are invaluable especially the ones who can be bothered to stay in touch despite the space-time challenges. In keeping with the current astrological climate my friend who very understandably almost had a severe case of crisis induced meltdown managed to stave it off nicely by being able to get her Arctic pal on the line at 4am in the morning! I can't help but think friends like these are GOLD (or probably Platinum and Flawless natural pink Diamonds ;) but unfortunately they are way too rare...

The other day when I was facing the brunt of my technological chaos and fallout and really could have used a Geek around, some dude suggested that I would never ever have technological issues again if I just found any old geek and was willing to "put out". Yes, these are the kind of people I have to put up with day in day out....blergh.

The Always something for something types no RAOK at all just me me me...do you blame me for being cynical and disillusioned?

Zhen, Astroguru ;)

There are invariably specific times when people seek me out for advice. The most common reason people contact me of late is to find out whether their latest beau is a good match for them or not.

Okay I can't say it's a hobby I don't find absolutely fascinating.

I was seriously going to study astrology properly and do this compatibility business for fun on the side...until my astrobro(a professional) discouraged me from investing in doing so because to do all the calculations from scratch is seriously hard work and hardly worth it when with most programs these days the information is readily available with the press of a button.

In any case if you really understand astrology, it's a seriously powerful tool to understand people and predict their behaviour....saving all those wasted tears, hair pulling episodes and spilt milk. The way I came to learn astrology was very much personal...by being a fly on the wall doing what I love best, saying nothing and just observing everybody I've ever met and sticking them into my mental database. It was not until I was fairly old that I became familiar with the star signs and read all the masses of stereotypical information you find online, which is not half bad actually, lol.

In any case, people too readily dismiss astrology as a load of crap...that's cos they don't go deep enough into a chart. For example, although I have a Scorpio sun, I have so many planets in Libra that I'm a very Libran Scorpio- most people read sun signs without paying any attention to these important nuances which have a huge influence on being able to accurately size up a person's character.

Over the years I've started to fine tune this to a bit of an art, combining eastern, western astrology and numerology with my own rather large database of detailed observation. I just noticed this is one rare "fad" that has been able to withstand the test of time with me...I doubt I can ever get bored-it's too much fun! :)

I LOVE Venus in Aquarius people.

LOL after an intensive in depth study across the entire spectrum of the zodiac for the past couple years, my conclusion is Venus in Aqua peeps are THE BEST, my absolutely favourite!!! I was so happy to meet two in a row recently...may I encounter many many more :-)

I've also noticed that everybody has definite patterns about them if you examine their social history and circle...eg they always attract and repel certain types.

For me my favourites of the zodiac would probably be aries, aquarius, virgo, taurus, scorpio, leo, pisces, libra, saggittarius....all the others, eh I could take them or leave them I think.

This is one of my endless fascinations...the funny part is that my insights have become so "coincidental" that often now, women only bother to contact me when they want some kind of astrological info...usually consulting me about whether someone is suitable for them, lol...I really should look into it as a side business- but then, I'd feel so guilty for charging people when I have so much fun doing it, lol!

Beauty-Full Astrology

LOL, I thought I noticed more attention than normal these last 2 days or so...but I thought perhaps it was all in my head. But today two people I actually know complimented me on appearance. The weird part is that being my usual dero self in tshirt, jeans and flip flops, stinking of therapeutic weed and with ungroomed hat hair, I wasn't exactly sure as to how I could attribute this seemingly new found "attractiveness"...

The funniest "explanation"?

Apparently Venus has just gone into Scorpio...so being a Scorpio, my horoscope says I will be at my peak attractiveness, LOL!

Considering I have had such minimal sleep since Tuesday night due to dental agony PLUS got overdosed with anaesthetic and pain killers and have been clasping an ice pack to my one inflamed cheek much of the day to stave off any more drug induced blurry consciousness....between the two crazy alternatives...I really have to go with the nonsensical astrology explanation....

Just imagine, if anaesthetic overdose and pain killers really did make one more aesthetically pleasing...wow what a boon to the pharmaceutical industry!

Playing With Fire...

I was surprised to find out that one of my favourite conversation buddies is a Scorpio...it then occurred to me a strange anomaly: that in my entire life, I have not really known any Scorpio men- I know two but these were friends of friends...

It then dawned on me that many of my male friends especially in recent years have been full blown Fire Signs: Leo, Aries, Saggittarius (not even near the cusps)!...and I think that's where I have been going wrong...

Cos I am WATER!!! Weird...for such an astrology nut, I seem to have never heeded Basic Astrology 101 type wisdom: Fire and Water do not mix.

Maybe the male Fire Excesses have been because opposites attract or that I've always been naturally most drawn to whatever is most different from me. Or maybe youth was a different stage of life where I needed more excitement, dynamism etc...

In any case, in what feels like old age...I'm starting to appreciate my fellow intuitive, receptive, sensitive water signs :) Thank goodness I didn't discover this any later...Fire sign men, especially young soul ones whose world revolves around them and it's all Me Me Me like little babies, can literally drive me insane and want to head for the hills to a nice little hermit cave of permanent solitude. I'm glad that with this realisation I can be somewhat conscious to implement avoidance strategies from the world "go!"(and save myself all the stress and agitation that typically ensues should association protract).

On another note, numerologically speaking I've noticed I get along best with any kind of 11, 9 and 6 life paths, or at least statistically these are where most of my close friends fall into.

Disclaimer: Shan I know you're a Saggi sun but you're a female and such a marginal one being on the cusp with so many bits in Scorp...haha do you notice how much individual attention you get paid in my posts...I guess I am too well able to pre-empt all your protests if I am not very clear and specific from the get go ;)

anyway off for an indulgent Day of Eating!!! :) First with my sis we venture to some pretentious part of town for lunch, then with my cuz and her friends to check out this 5 star restaurant where we know the head Dessert chef! (Killing 2 birds with one stone I also get to do my half yearly meetups with them...amazing how once you get older you only get to catch up with your peeps who even reside in the same city as you maybe twice a year!) Modern Life...So Sad....

Mystic Wednesday

I'm loving the series THE MENTALIST...Great Storylines...Great Twists! Super sensitive intuitive psychological psychic investigative Detective- totally up my ally!! If detective work wasn't so "dangerous" that's one career path I probably would have wanted to try out...Lisbon is such a kick ass cool chick - I would love to have a friend like this in real life :)

This morning started with another early wake up call and lost keys kerfuffle...thanks to a little divine help though I did manage to find them before I missed too much class....stuck in a big umbrella!

Slacked off for an hour Easter egg shopping which was kinda fun...my friend and are weird - we just love strolling up and down supermarket alleys probably cos we love eating! LOL

Had a Four Pillars astrology consult which was kinda interesting but strangely brought no new insights...basically I think when you're very intuitive there are things you just already know ;)

Strangely though I did inadvertently get unexpected insight from a friend who has the Divine Gift of Prophecy. That was pretty cool :)

Another weird thing, I am very much in an Aquarius phase right now...keep meeting Aquarians and am really enjoying their company- these astrological phases are weird...before it was Aries and now Aquarians...exactly the same thing happened in this order last year- deja vu!

Miscellaneous Tuesday

Had a great afternoon in the clinic but ended up smelling offensively like a Pothead version of the Dero I already am ;) It was so fascinating to see people so unaware of their own bodies and totally in denial that traumatic events in their life had some causative effect in their symptomatic manifestation LOL - men are usually the culprits for this- too "tough" to acknowledge their emotions LOL

Also met up with a cool international visitor :) Geez I loooooove people from overseas...if only I could have one every week like I have for the past two- Life would be Sweet! In any case it was so nice to have a real person I could just talk about everything with that I just have an "understanding" with...really made my day being able to do that! :)

Kind of exciting...met a fellow astrology head in one of my classmates-he has actually studied some asian variation of it all properly and has charged professionally for his services...I gave him my birth details and he's going to reveal all tomorrow (ooh how exciting!) Basically I am curious to know about temperament, compatibility...but I'm a bit anxious about him telling me anything predictive...in any case I am curious to see how it correlates with western...I was telling my friend briefly about her character based on her birthdate numerology and she said a Korean had told her exactly the same thing albeit using a different system- hence my curiosity to investigate the two was piqued!

On another note- I got a little harrassed again when it inadvertently came out that I got to hang out with "Mr X Factor" for a day- sheesh! A little sick of the protracted obsession...expecting 2 more days of this then Get over it Ladies!!! I did realise though that I would make an AWESOME friend for a famous person...even though there could be good money made to divulge and trade confidential information I am so loyal and too ethical...any famous person is lucky to have me as their friend...not that anybody's offering :p LOL

And finally in "Miscellaneous Tuesday" I have a special real life picture for my Animal Loving Matey Shannanigans. Here is an echidna my aunt and uncle found under their car on their regional acreage. He didn't get bowled over by the car actually- his snout is bleeding from digging in the bitumen!!! In case I'm amazed his spikes didn't pop their car tyres!!! (BTW if you ever come visit I will throw in a free trip to their property where echidnas and koalas and snakes and wallabies do roam free-whether you see these shy creatures or not is another story though! For plant heads...yeah their garden is pretty cool too ;)

What I'm feeling happy about: Decluttering for a good cause!

I like how when tragedy does strike such as in the case of the Victorian Bushfires recently, I like how it inspires the best in people-particularly a generosity of spirit we don't often witness otherwise(especially unusual for the big city!)...

In any case, being a student with miserable income I like to help how I can...so for me it was braving the dark wet and rain and making myself head out to buy as much as I could carry late Friday night....since the supermarket was donating all profits to the Bushfire victims.

Tonight I got off my ass and started to declutter the house- starting to gather whatever spares I have of everything to donate. Geez it's scary how much unnecessary STUFF I have! I've noticed Asians and particularly people who grew up as poor migrants tend to being such huge HOARDERS...it's completely irrational but it's an inherent socialisation that needs to be consciously unlearnt. So I thought turning my house upside down digging for spares of everything was a good start :)

Too much physical baggage (attachment) somehow translates to me as oppressive spiritual burden too...I don't NEED so much STUFF!!! (They say two key behaviours that benefit Scorpios is to find things to let go of and throw out everyday, as well as learning forgiveness).

Apart from that I'm feeling really happy about discovering Bpay View(viewing bills online)...I guess I got so busy I had just been in "survival" mode and living on "habit"....cos you know, change can take a bit of effort for us inflexible types...LOL

So anyway I'm really happy I'll cut down on all the paper wastage that goes into my bills and will save me time and space by not having to open and store the paper...unfortunately I am not willing to do the same transition for music...I still need tangible hard CDs with album art, lyrics and the works!!! :)

Natal Charts

As part of 'Domestic Goddess' week to prepare my place for workmen to come through while I'm away, I've been tackling some intriguing boxes full of miscellaneous items from a looooong time ago.

I found a blue manila folder containing various collected documents...the most intriguing of which were 3 natal printed charts from high school- one was highly in depth, about 12 pages long...

Back when I was 16-18 I had read through and highlighted all of which I thought was accurate at the time. It was interesting to look at this and note how although most of the description of me was the same, there were some subtle changes-certain things I didn't think I was back then so didn't highlight which I would now and other things back then I thought were accurate but don't think apply now. There was also major predictions which actually ended up happening! eek!

It was so fascinating for myself to be able to study my own personal development through this historical natal report.

The final bit which I thought was pretty amusing was it had the astrology of what my "Ideal Partner" should be like. I was amused to note that absolutely ZILCH corresponded with my ex...well I guess that's exactly why it didn't turn out...

But honestly, I had completely forgotten about these charts at the time. Oh well...so now I'm documenting it so I don't forget about it should the opportunity arise again in the future...

and to remember these "specifications" JUST IN CASE some unique specimen fulfilling these planetary positions should pop up LOL...

Astrology of Z's Ideal Partner

Sun in Sagittarius or Gemini (Don't Know Any!!!)
Moon in Scorpio or Taurus
Venus in Sagittarius or Gemini
Mars in Libra or Aries

Woah, these astro people sure ask for a lot! haha

By all means, Dig Yourself into a Hole but Don't Just Stay There!

I'm getting frustrated with all the negative doomsday sayers and depressed people that abound.

To these people, I'm just as tired of you as you are...I don't care how you achieve it but these are fundamental to your own happiness:

1. Love and Value Yourself
2. Look after yourself and treat yourself as you would your personal angel.
3. How shitty your life is is a large part to do with how much you are willing to accept- that which you can't change so be it, but that which you have any ability to change and improve - what are you doing still sitting there?!

Don't just accept what life hands you...challenge it, test it, work around it...why so closed minded?!

Trash those limited beliefs and start helping yourself-there is only so much you can rely on others...it all starts with you willing your life to be better and by implementing tangible changes to make it happen!!! One small step at a time...

okay, rant over...that just came steaming out!

I'm so glad for the few positive happy people in my life...or else I might just go insane!

This is my new resolution to myself:

"I refuse to accept any more negative people into my life. I emphatically 100% will not associate or invest any more energy in negative types outside of a purely professional scope, unless they're gonna make a concerted effort to get outta the hole!"

Cos in the end A Happy Island is better than a Miserable Metropolis...Anyday!

What I love about Scorpios- RESILIENCE - like a Phoenix, people with Scorpion traits arise time and time again from the smoking ashes...new and reinvented...you can't keep them down...they might trip into a pothole from time to time but soon enough they'll brush themselves off, and pull themselves out quickly enough so as not to wait for the pothole to collapse under their weight into a gaping dark chasm...

And Saggitarians are cool too cos they're Positive Glass Half-full people!

The Law of Droughts and Floods

My phones were going ballistic today. I just wanted to crawl under a table and hide.

I know there's Murphy's Law but I was wondering if there's a name for The Law of Floods and Droughts?

I find it weird how in everybody's lives there always seems to be periods of floods or droughts even when they themselves feel pretty constant. I can only put it down to astrological transits...

I'm not the kind of person that likes the 'excitement' of massive extreme swings in anything but it always seems to happen due to this law of Floods and Droughts...it's always a "the banks have broken downpour" or else "as parched as a desert at high noon"...have no idea why! Bizarre.

So that's what it felt like Today: suddenly all my friends came out of the woodwork all wanting a piece of me...so I felt kinda stressed cos I don't want to let people down but there is absolutely no way I can accommodate it all and my fairness obsessed Libran bits doesn't know how to choose between friends....

I think it's a relief that I only have a few close friends locally because I don't enjoy these Downpours!

An aside, I'm starting to feel the pull of Vegetarianism (which I guess I've always part avoided due to not wanting to succumb to people's Hippie sterotypes of me)- admittedly, I tried my crazy friend's detox raw food diet the other night as a one off experiment cos I felt gluggy but the next day when I ate meat, I actually felt sick! Eating food raw and not eating meat totally defies all logic and traditional Chinese medicine wisdom! But somehow I did feel better so I want to try it properly...

Will just have to finish/donate all the meat from my freezer so I can try properly...not looking forward to hearing the rants and lectures that will no doubt come from my immediate Asian (and therefore meat obsessed) family cos I think once you start you really can't go back....but I've had it with being Bullied into convention!

p.s I went to my first I paid to attend professional seminar on Mood Disorders the other night- since helping those with depression and mental health seems to be my calling...(I've stopped trying to fight it and am rather embracing it now LOL)

There were some really interesting revelations including a) how modern society treats and perceives people with depression and b) on SSRI drugs (which I am totally convinced are evil since losing a good friend to them who has since become a brick wall) Anyway if you're interested hopefully I'll get a chance to post these insights on my TCM blog sometime.

When Chaos Reigns...

Look for opportunity! Apparently that's a sentiment from the I-Ching. About a year ago or so I started noticing what I perceived as a premature "mid-life crisis"...my in-the-know friend however, wisely informed me it was noneother than the quarter-life crisis! The thing is, when I look around, it's not just me- havoc seems to be toying with most people of my immediate vintage - it's certainly a really "happening" time!

Growing Pains?!!!

Everything started making a whole lot more sense when I accidentally found out about the astrological concept of The Saturn Return...this is pertinent to all those in the vicinity of the big 3-0! Very interesting!

Like I've been saying since I was 16, I can't wait to be 40...now I know why!

Reminder: Don't Forget to SMILE!

LOL I guess after several months now in city degradation, it had started getting to me so that I was becoming just like every other city slicker...

to the extent that a random stranger actually came past and whispered a curt command: "SMILE!"

but I really did feel sick and like crap yesterday, plus, I'm really bad at obeying commands...but I made a mental note for future-ie so today I remembered to =) even though smiling wasn't exactly warranted - all day in assessments!

I guess I don't smile much randomly cos it's not normal in the city to see people smiling so if you do smile, people are more likely to stare at you and think you're crazy! Hence I'd rather not draw unwanted attention to myself...also, I think I'm more the kind of person who smiles with my eyes and generally with purpose(when there is someone to direct it at).

Cos my eyes are so sensitive to pollution however, or perhaps it's the Scorpio woman stereotype -I wear dark glasses everywhere I go, even at night, so people rarely witness me smile....giggle yes, but not smile...hehe maybe it's my subconscious remembering I probably have food stuck in my teeth since I'm constantly snacking LOL

Astrological Transits...what a week!

okay so I got inundated this week...seven postcards, 1 package(thanks S!), 2 new random people contact me and 3 blasts from the past!! weiiiiird.

and I didn't do anything different. no wonder i'm such a believer.

my friend reckons i believe in "hocus pocus" too much. we were talking about that whole romantic concept "when you know you just know" - she was telling me as usual that I'm being idealistic blah blah blah but I know sooooo many people who have met their significant others in magically mysterious ways and it confirmed my suspicion when I asked "well...how did your mum and dad get together then?" which was totally ironic because she said when her dad saw her mum on the street HE JUST KNEW. totally confirms my "hocus pocus" theory...

LIKE I SAID.

once you truly believe I think you always go on believing....

By the way HAPPY OLYMPICS- enjoy!!! I think this will be the first time I won't be tuning in religiously....No Time :-P