"You don't belong here!"

It was the inevitable waiting to happen...Quite a JOKE really coming from a white INVADER of convict descent who has only populated this country for a mere blink of its history...

And treated its rightful owners with such contempt. If I were any closer I might have liked to add my own correction: "Well then, neither do you!"

In any case I didn't choose to be here: the choice was made for me. That got me thinking...just like people of mixed ethnicity who have a right to choose between each parents citizenships, people who had their nationality and citizenship decided for them as a child should have the right to decide which country they choose to belong to as an adult. Cos seriously after what I have experienced in my latter years here particularly recently I would seriously considering rescinding my citizenship...for one I am SO EMBARRASSED. In the past few months the few times I had non white looking people come to visit I'd say there was at least a 50% strike rate of a racial incident against them. It is embarrassing...as an idealist if I could rule the world I would make a global country purely with a population of educated and evolved minds. And like toyboy says the only way to end racism is probably to interbreed until everybody resembles a truly global ethnicity...

Maybe that is why I like NYC so much- it is like the global capital of the world...racism doesn't...CAN'T fly as much as it does here...I guess though that it is the effects of the Global Financial Crisis...the increasing resentment of the ethnicities that tend to be successful, rich and why? Because they work damn hard and have had their forefathers sacrifice a lot for them to receive a proper education and training so that they have a future their forefathers could only have dreamed of...

Okay before I get lured into being and staying completely racist myself I have to say that it IS a minority of imbeciles and I have great white aussie neighbours and people on the whole are pretty good compared to other countries...but that is also because apart from aesthetics there is nothing "obviously foreign" about me...

But yeah having lived the entire time here I can definitely say there is a revival of White Australia happening here big time! I just wish there were more aboriginals around to tell these bigoted invaders off LOL! For people who are not familiar with this country don't be surprised that you will be hard pressed to view ANY indigenous Australians(Aborigines) in daily life in the city...for that you need to go into the remote and desert regions...

Basically unless you are WHITE and MALE Australia is NOT paradise socially. It IS a beautiful country of space and nature and a great outdoors life though...

In other news I saw a very sad, shocked and traumatised looking Kookaburra sitting on my fence...then it occurred to me with all the slaughtering of the trees that went down today...my kookaburra friends are out of a home! Oh it's sad, Man and his unthoughtful destruction everywhere he goes...

A Point of Difference

(The only problem with living in gorgeous natural surrounds is that when it comes time for the trees to get a trim it is a VERY NOISY sleep defying procedure...between the horsepower revolutions of the electric chainsaw to the *whoosh!* as the thundering vibrations of large branches fall and hit the ground...)

I recently came across a character so refreshing I felt genuinely compelled and drawn for no other reason than uniqueness and a MUCH NEEDED 'breath of fresh air'...a point of difference amongst the stock standard majority culture of this isolated backwater.

Recently I felt so frustrated in this country with its trademark chauvinistic treatment of women to its low standards, anti intellectualism and bordering racist treatment of ethnic minorities...I remember learning about our country being a "melting pot" in primary school... rather than a melting pot it is increasingly pockets of different ethnicities all co-existing side by side and failing to have any flow of discourse between neighbours...breeding resentment especially if that culture wants to practise and preserve its indigenous traditions. I think the problem needs to be approached with a healthy balance...that all ethnic groups should have the freedom to practise their culture such as religious festivals and whatnot that doesn't violate the laws of that country however they should still care to make an effort with the mother tongue and integrate with the rest of the residents of their host country...

So as I've exited a globally flavoured educated intellectual context I have more than noticed the external population here have a really strong reaction to me- they either like or dislike me immensely...I have the ability to polarise populations! LOL Basically I think it stands as this...anybody who appreciates uniqueness and individualism will side with me but those who feel threatened by anything that is not status quo and need a generic robot standard will find me very challenging because I refuse to conform. Perhaps why I well deserve the "anti-conformist" and "rebel" label my folks pinned on me at a young age...

When I was younger perhaps it was more a case of "rebel without a cause" but as I grow older and feel incredibly oppressed by the dominant dissonant culture I feel a need to assert my right to be different and resentment towards people wanting to push me into boxes just so they feel more comfortable about themselves! And more than ever I feel a need to preserve my standards...and that the way forward is to push boundaries and always aim towards higher things. Not to stay complacent and degenerate...So there's definitely a clash of values happening here...

I guess when one's character defies all common and expected norms and sits at the far end of the bell curve and is not mute...yeah that invites a lot of arrows fired your way. I guess insecurity is a normal part of biological evolution...and a healthy characteristic of self preservation and survival instinct...so at the end of the day ALIENS, UNITE! lol well either that or leave like everybody I actually like seems to...

Dinner: One Cucumber :-o!

No I'm not depressed and lost my appetite. No I'm not so poor I can only afford one cucumber. No I'm not doing some heroic fast for some niche political cause. No I'm not depressed and have body image issues so I will only let myself eat one cucumber cos I'm on some silly diet...

But I DID just have ONE cucumber for dinner!! You see cos this was not any old cucumber! It was a *magic cucumber* I grew MYSELF! ^^ ^^ ^^

So it was a pretty special cucumber...and I found that out when I ate it...Wowee I was SOooo FULL! (I'm not kidding!!!)

I've actually had this conversation with one of my food grower buddies before...basically anything you grow yourself completely organically...it just is more filling! Why? Not quite sure but we theorized that it had something to do with all that TIME it takes to grow NATURALLY without the use of chemical fertilizers etc...well it has taken in all that sun and air energy from so many days!

But apart from that it also had a lot more flavour than that watered down commercial crap. Anyway now that I harvested my sole cucumber I'm going to have to wait quite a while for the next magic one...lol so lucky I have funds to buy sufficient ingredients for alternative dinners while I wait...That's the trouble with growing things in pots...you can't grow on mass...but eh who wants to eat 10 cucumbers every night anyway?

p.s My conclusions and observations of late...people my age and in my age and vicinity are 90% CRAZY, women ESPECIALLY are CRAZY!
p.p.s I REALLY hate this Tall Poppy Syndrome culture we have here...basically someone is always jealous of you of EVERYTHING and hates you for no better reason than for whatever lame reason they can come up with or wherever their insecurity lies...it's all this projection crap!
p.p.s my final rant is that non old and non young people are all so boring geez all they wanna talk about is relationships, people gossip etc...for an INTJ mentality boy this is tiresome! *yawn*
p.p.p.s I totally buy into that life works in terms of REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY...if you don't want something you get it in DROVES and if you do you DON'T! so yes for whatever you want I think you should probably construe it in your head as "I don't want this"...and voila...see I know ALLLLL the cool magic tricks, lol! Unfortunately however I have still not worked out how to make poorly made CDs know how to play music without skipping...grrrrr! I will hold out on CDs yet...Grandma is not quite ready to make the sacriligeous transition to digitized music :P

Down the internet drain: Life staring at a screen

It's so easy to live your life in the virtual world...it's so easy to get sucked in with all the candy available on the internet, to be lured by colourful characters and wonderful personas...

The reason I say this is because it's quite alarming how much many people don't see any line between virtual and real worlds...

It's particularly alarming this trend of people falling in love with people they never met...not saying that I'm cynical...it's just disturbing how "sure" people can seem to be about someone before they even meet them...

I think much of it is false hope, illusion. Delusion. On a grand scale. And most of the world is sucked in and addicted. Even with me it's like varying suction on a vacuum cleaner how much I can't walk by a live internet connection without checking something or walk past a computer without turning it on (especially when it is raining outside all week :P)...whatever the case, the computer internet life is not a healthy existence...why do people reject the open sky, the vibrant light of day, a refreshing breeze and the damp caress of fresh grass for what? An existence in front of a lit screen in a dim box.

In any case of course I wouldn't get sucked in bar something pretty unique and special. I just got sent a video of telekinesis...that's quite a trick! In any case my first ego thought was "surely I can do it too I should try!" lol...reminds me of the time I found myself in front of a "magician" who was just practising basic science tricks...well one trick he couldn't explain by science cos it really was..."magic"...so anyway as soon as I saw it I was like hey I think I can do it too! So right there in front of an audience I performed the trick back to him...skill :) And as unbelieving as I am I even verified later with members of the audience that they weren't just emptily stroking my back...to say I did it when I didn't...

Sweet Memories. Perhaps a lot of it is about belief. Which is what you find you have before your thinking, deliberating mind has any time to kick in and spoil the fun!

Okay enough procrastination...catching up on house duties calls! Three weekends straight of more than 24 hour days=One very trashed Grandma :) LOL, you only live once!!!

Manners are a sign of good breeding

LOL maybe I'm starting to show my age/grandma tendencies. But seriously the mediocre level of courtesy and manners exhibited in Australia these days is appalling...basically the only place worse I would think is China and Hongkong...Australia is still asia anyway just a more white looking asia...


I can't say I was ever a classist snob or anything but as the disintegration of society and civil decency fuelled by the internet continues with the youngins, whenever I encounter, I SERIOUSLY appreciate
a) basic manners and courtesy
b) people being able to spell using full words and sentences with correct grammar and punctuation
c) people being able to keep appointments with some degree of promptness rather than relying on being able to call through with delay or cancellation by mobile phone 5 minutes beforehand...no wonder most health practitioners now charge full fees if not given 24 hours notice!
d) people who think of others

Anyway that was just my rant for today, obviously we need class leaders in manners and etiquette and civil courtesy...Japanese, Swiss etc to come over and give the youth of Australia the education they LACK! I'm ashamed to welcome international visitors over when they are subjected to rudeness on the level you get here.

A Higher Standard...Of Maleness!

They say that the things you experience as a child really affect you...I only recently remembered that probably my earliest memory of encountering a guy that wasn't family as a kid was actually...a European! My sister's penpal that just suddenly "dropped over" with flowers and chocolates from so many thousands of kilometres unannounced...lol, romantic? You don't say!

Perhaps it is based on THAT (he was Swiss) that all my expectations of how men are supposed to be got formed....ie: that they are polite, eloquent, refined, cultured, civilised, intelligent, thoughtful...and did I say POLITE?!!

Lol a far cry from the rude uncivilised can't spell or form sentences sleazy rude yobbo thugs that treat women like "girl-meat" here and holler at them like dogs...Today on the bus I almost imploded by how bad the music was...and seriously I have been all throughout the country and never had to endure such terrible tasteless music...in any case a great reprieve from my yobbo conditions lately...some arty films, a euro exhibition, an internationally renowned line up for a music festival...and a third culture kid of my same disposition, likes and interests to buddy up with-exciting!!!

So anyway, perhaps cos of being exposed to a Swiss in my formulative impressionable childhood years I have NEVER managed to accept anything less... maybe I AM a snob like I get accused of...so be it! I have STANDARDS!!! :)

INTERNATIONALS.....Arghhhhhh!!!! :-D

THANK. YOU. GOD!!!!

May you and I all never forget that God is faithful and answers prayers :) ^^ ^^ ^^!!

So anyway I was *so so excited* I finally cracked through my monoculture no culture brains void bang head on brick wall issue here....

I seriously had had it up to HERE(motions 50cm above head) with the uncultured yob factor and Tall Poppy Sooks I get subjected to here...not to mention all the vacant stares...seriously, okay for sure it's elitist and Aussies have major overaffliction of Tall Poppy Syndrome and thus related oversensitivity but SERIOUSLY, sometimes it IS just about being able to converse with people at the SAME LEVEL of your understanding on various things...I don't know why such offense and discrimination is directed at cultured intellectuals in this country I mean I wouldn't have a clue what you were talking about if you talk engines and tools yet I don't get a CHIP ON MY SHOULDER because of admitting I'm ignorant about cars!

So yes Thank God for the Multi-cultured seemingly less neanderthal Internationals :)

I reflected on the whole debacle of how I CLASH so much with the majority of native locals left in this country these last few years since 90% of my friends went overseas...the solution I found had a lot to do with teeing up with a really really old friend of mine who went to the same infants, primary, highschool AND uni I did...all in all we received a pretty high and advanced standard of education as can best be expected in Sydney....she too has found herself less than ecstatic with the Aussies and in love with the foreigners!! Like just about all my friends...

And I realised it goes like THIS....once you get out of fairly academic environments you get presented with the REAL state of Australia...and that is one where there is a very very low level of education among its residents....by this stage many of the highly educated typically go overseas since their qualifications give them access to more promising encouraging environments. I guess it's also cos our population is not that big either and not to mention higher education is a bit costly :P so relative we have quite a small population of very educated people, maybe throw in we are marooned on a desolate island far removed from the rest of the world...and it is so easy to shelter in a kangaroo microcosm where that much sun fries the brains and that much water clogs the ears that people aren't that broadly informed either...

And that is why as highly educated intelligent minority ethnicity FEMALES we are subjected to a huuuuge amount of disfavour and discrimination by the dominant majority in this country...I guess being a male minded non submissive slightly feminist INTJ doesn't help either ;) lol the more minority you are I think the more of a rude shock it is for the average person to encounter ...like something they have never encountered...and they don't quite know how to handle you but lament you are weird and abnormal because you are such a rare and special minority...hehe...if people thought I was weird here I wonder how HO gets away with it??LOL Simple. SHE is in America the Land of the Free! lol and anYthinG really does go there!!!

But seriously...in the last few years as the success of the asians particularly the Mainland Chinese has really made a huge presence known in this city I have really felt a level of racism and jealousy never experienced before growing up just because of what I look like on the outside! Which in turn has naturally made me start to feel resentment toward the other side...I know it happens all over the world but for the first 20 years or so of my life it was seriously a non issue, which is how I would have liked it to stay!

Wow code cracked, I'm glad...it's been such a mystery my inner psychologist has pondered so much about why I clashed so much with locals especially Aussie men of my vintage and younger my whole life...

It IS a cultural issue. Anyway once you work out what it is that is irking then you can just avoid it as much as possible...yay! ...Happy days! :)

Despair

Okay so have to say the raining weather kinda amplifies this but ever since watching the film FLOW...I felt this large scale sense of despair...I mean it SHOULD be a human right that each person has access to water as they do access to breathing...except that rich multinationals have kicked people off their land and control all the water and care not at all that some people are too poor to be able to PAY for water...which was always free before they got kicked off the land their ancestors have owned for generations!!

I don't know I just think money and greed and modernity is making human society lose all sense of decency and common sense...crazy!!!

In any case to be honest as a reasonably privileged person in a privilieged country I had NO IDEA about the crisis state of water commodification and it's impacts on the environment and people. It was very disconcerting to have my eyes opened...

Maybe I'm weird but I feel at this era of my life, while most of my cohort are concerned with careers, spouses, mortgages and babies I am finding my heart strings being pulled for the ENVIRONMENT and protection of the natural world...

Maybe the longstanding not so obvious inner Hippie is starting to consolidate to be an Outer AND Inner through and through Hippie as well...

I just have no idea what can be done or even mor specifically what III could do that would make a difference or be a positive contribution in the right direction...

Why I think Farmers are Cool

One of my dude friends kept calling me the name of his long lost friend...cos apparently she was "obsessed" with farmers too.

I'm NOT "obsessed" :P rather I just appreciate them...they are a group of csociety I respect and admire just with how in touch with the land they are when everyone else is so disconnected and how they can live off the land...and if the world descends into chaos they will still know how to and be able to survive, as would the aborigines before the colonial lifestyle stole and corrupted their traditional ways. I guess these kinds of groups are the ultimate "jack of all trades" in terms of knowledge, ability and skill especially if the world is restored to how it was meant to be...

I guess I really idealise "The Natural World" because I feel the more and more years I see the more and more it is like a long lost fantasy-like dream.

Apart from that I have fallen prey to a BRIBE. Apparently if I want to eat the most delicious Belgian truffles the likes of us Kangaroos get to witness locally I have to pay for it with a kiss! Geez...talk about EXPLOITATION. In any case where bonafide flown in from Belgian fresh chocolate truffles are concerned, I'm cheap and easy ;) But only cos it's Toyboy, who may as well be family....

I really hope that the hungry hoards have left me some by the time I get to go...they can all slurp the Veuve...Champagne is soooo overrated, in my opinion.

Psychological Curiosities and Social Experiments

I think...as a very curious girl I have always been drawn to exploring all that is different. So I realised in my time I have mingled with a vast many different types of people perhaps just to understand the broader human condition outside my own microcosm....to the extent that my sister has on more than one occasion reproached me for "why are you always associating with BUMS?" lol!!!

I guess I wanted to distance myself from what I thought was snooty conservatism on the family front.

SO ANYWAY...yesterday after the in depth chat with old girl friend...LIGHTBULB!!!

She was quizzing me on my new geography and my *stellar abilities* to get on with anybody bar very old wrinkly white haired men in this entire country...and then my recessed conscious mind blurted it out in one sentence..."Well I can't find people I respect and admire!"

BINGO....wow. As simple as that. And then it occurred to me that maybe my sister had been on to something since all those years...as I ponder through the list of all the failed associations I have ever gone through....it looks like this...

*people who are high school and uni dropouts * people who come from uneducated families *people who come from disadvantaged areas *people who come from broken &troubled families and grew up with no parenting and hence perhaps no values/ethics instilled from young * people who have been involved with violence crime and drugs (and even had guns held to their head) *people whose parents can't even speak English *people who are monocultured *people who are depressed and have low self esteem

And then it hit me...MAYBE just for once in my life I need to associate with people who have a little bit more OVERLAP in their upbringing/character to me?? And maybe THAT might make it just a little easier to RELATE to other people in this country...

I wonder if there are any stats on this re interpersonal compatibility? Maybe research for another day! Anycase amazingly it is not even 7am and after a horribly wet and cold rainy day God has answered my prayer for a beautiful sunny day for the outdoor event that I'm scheduled to attend! Yay :D!

So may I end this with "Gratitude and Blessings...pass it along!"

♥Zz

CHoP goEs the PoNytail!!!

Awwww.

It's amazing how much can change with a haircut...In terms of age timeline I've been all over the joint the past few years in terms of maturity of haircut but for a good year or so it's been the ponytail just cos I have been so busy and isolated to get them!

In any case today the tail got lost and by default I think I aged at least about 5 years...wow. Now it's more like a mature and sophisticated chic bob....I can't quite say I like it. But the response was starkly obvious. People from higher socioeconomic classes and people that are sycophantic to them eg salespeople treated me better. People from lower socioeconomic classes eg train station attendants treated me much less nicely and were almost dicky seething resentment on purpose!

I have mixed feelings re losing the tail and looking older. I guess for me a part clings to the messy girly ponytail cos it represents youth, innocence(idealism), liberated freedom and free spiritedness, daydreaminess and just a hint of asian cutesyness...the bob represents more...the reserved euro, responsibility especially to behaving more an adult, lol and more groundedness and practical realism. Blergh I never was quite able to merge my two most dominant styles/personalities into a workable simultaneous boho-chic like perhaps a Kate Moss or Stella McCartney might have been able to pull off...

And I am sad that now cowgirl hats do not suit, lol. Anyway I guess that is just testimony to a struggle in integrating all my many layers- that's what you get with complex people! LOL- everyday is a different look, persona lol depending on mood, function, dress sense etc...

But anyway it was really nice to get to have lunch with a good busy career gal friend especially sharing the frustrations over the disadvantages smart successful independent women get heaped with in this country...

And as always, SOOOOOO glad to return to "The Sanctuary"...being too long in the city just makes me shrink a little with it's low&icky vibration...

ZHEN WANTS A FARMER?!

lol apparently this is a TV show my friends would tune into. That not being encouragement enough, lucky for me and the TV companies I have so few friends still left in this country :p that it doesn't warrant decent ratings. If I was extroverted and liked attention and didn't care for privacy I probably would go on though...how else do wannabe cowgirl farmgirl city slickers meet all those cool people that FARM and live on FARMS?? :P

I'm just curious though...cos they say your friends and family know you best...and HO this primarily is directed at you...if you were to choose me a farmer which one would you pick?!

I'm still trying to acquire an appropriate countrygirl hat btw ;) - tis proving very hard to obtain now that I am not in rural farm country...hopefully I get it by the time my farmer friend comes to town! I think it will be pretty funny walking through the city with a bonafide farmer and wearing cowboy hats...and didn't I say I hate attention? lol....actually, there is a big difference between blatant subversion and pure attention-seeking. Obviously I love Sydney city and it's Sydney-esque inhabitants too much... :-p

No wonder Asian Women are in Such High Demand

I mean, could you ASK for a better wife??!

Okay if you live in a cave and missed it, here's why.

Makes me proud to be asian and female. Not to mention she's gorgeous and has serious brains too...

Okay, an aside...maybe this is taking the admiration a bit TOO far...LOL

I was asked recently if I would ever want kids...you know me...I'm NOT a fan of them...however I did reply that if I did it would be purely for superficial reasons...Eurasian ones LOOK GOOD and have the best genes etc so smart etc etc... Wendi's are a great example!!! Doesn't mean I'm going to entertain that natural affinity for OLD MEN tho!!!! *LOL*

DON'T KNOW WHY

...I ever bothered with people my own age...I guess it was cos it was a non negotiable compulsory burden of having to go to school where there are grades. Not sure whether it's a case of Grew Up or Just Grew Old especially in the past year...I've reached a point where there is just absolutely no meaningful overlap I have with any normal typical person of my age vintage...yet with the 15-20 years and up...Bingo!*Natural resonance*...and it's happened so many times now over and over for such a protracted period I've realised it's not just a lucky strike...I've discovered that part of society where I should really belong cos my thoughts my values my interests gel with this generation... Yup I was meant to grow up during the Hippie era...

..."Modern Civilised Society" is so F*ck*n Crazy...Having children is now treated like some kind of rightful entitlement where you can just place your order like fast food, but for a bit more dosh...I'm referring to the rise and rise of artificial birth, most worryingly by single women who decided they can't find a man but they want a kid...someone I know recently confided in me that she'd asked a friend to be a sperm donor...has our generation REALLY got so cynical and jaded that we're prepared to rear a whole generation of test tube babie who have not the luxury of ever knowing two parents? I don't know about you, but my opinionated opinion is that in all our power obsessed material wealth my crazy generation has gotten a bit out of hand thinking how much they can buy...and to be honest...I think it's completely selfish...Okay I'm also ranting about this cos a friend said to me that when he gets back he wants kids and if I'm desperate to give him a yell...he wants two kids 1 girl 1 boy....no duh. This mentality and approach to unnatural reproduction just disgusts me...well I did say that I was meant to be born a Hippie!!! And just to let you know I STILL feel absolutely no sense of clucky...I actually feel sorry for kids being brought into the society I live in as it stands today.

...I go absolutely NUTS whenever there is a Big Cheese a.k.a Full Moon...
I was wondering why everything felt so WEIRD more so than a usual Full Moon...and then I was chuffed to find out the Full Moon was in Scorpio yesterday...as a Scorpio I guess I must have been a lot more affected than usual...but really so many strange things happened last night, particularly had issues with normally genial dogs barking and acting very aggressively and wanting to make zhen mince...last night was an extreme mixture of scary-creepy...and I literally felt a huge sense of relief when it ticked over into the wee hours of today.

...It's News when...
My most famous birthday twin, Delta Goodrem, made the front page of our newspapers the other day just because she was seen holding hands with an 18 year old...I pity myself when I live in a country and culture where something SO TRIVIAL is considered "news". At the same time though, it made me grin cos as much as I like much OLDER people and find my own generation incredibly grating and exasperating to my psyche, I DO agree with her... I really like that much younger generation that starts at 8 years my junior too- they are pretty cool... Hiya Robe :) Hiya 007! :D

So anyway it's really quite an exciting new era for me on so many fronts... I had another big major life revelation which many would find shocking...but we'll see what happens...and where God leads me :)

Zhen Makes A MESS.

LOL that title reminds me of one of those Mr Men kid's storybook series...I reckon I should start my OWN series...LOL *Narcissism*! hahahaha

So anyway, THIS is what I am talking about....

*yikes*

So how did I get myself into such a MESSY predicament? WELL. If you know me super duper well you will know that my very favourite food EVER is Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!! ^^ ^^ ^^

Like seriously, I love Pies so much I have in fact even been called "Pie" as an alternative name(!)

So ANYWAY. What happens is that these past few years I managed to get through Winter cos I had two friends in town that would make me Pies however one has since deserted to Africa and the other the UK. So that left me Cold & PIE-less!!! Which meant I needed to take matters into my own two hands!!...*shakes head sadly*

Ah what the heck, for PIE it's WORTH IT! But Boy did I exert so much energy having to make and clean up after the Pie can you blame that I almost ate the entire dish all by myself?? To be perfectly honest I am used to being waited on hand and foot- TB usually makes the entire pie let's me eat more of it and cleans up afterward, all the while while I just sit there curled in a couch sipping tea or muching chocolates... Yep, I don't mind Men waiting on me like royalty...LOL..feminist "independent and capable" is sooo passe! ;)

Anyway back to the important part...the Pie specifications...
Cos I was feeling a bit lazy I made an Organic Pizza/Pasta Sauce pie...with beef mince, onion, carrots and quinoa(all beef is just too heavy), baby corn and peas, and potato and pumpkin mash....covered with a butter puff pastry top...YUUUUUUM!!! :D...however being lazy I would usually wrap the entire thing in a a kind of pillow case-but seeing as it's butter pastry I thought I should keep it to a single layer...so I just used a ceramic dish and stuck a sheet over the top- who knew it would get SO SO STUCK and MESSY! Never again...It's not so fun when there's no TB or L to clean up after you...how funny they are both Venus in Cancers...if you want someone who loves to cook for you and look after you I highly recommend a Venus in Cancer-I've had four cook and clean for me in total so trust me on this one :)

Apart from that I had a great time chatting with a 44yo man I met today. LOL I'm starting to work up some impressive numbers with this pattern here- is the universe trying to tell me something? Like maybe they are the people I most naturally get along with and relate to without even trying? LOL

Anyway I felt a bit guilty at the elitism that is starting to creep in to my psyche...I can't get myself to associate with people my own age-basically unless they have gained maturity through being married or having kids or some other traumatic life experience (LOL) I can't help but think of them as little children that are a waste of effort to talk to...like an annoying little sister or brother. Basically after all the many random people I have talked to I worked out that never married childless boys do not become men until say about the age of FORTY on average. Women are kind of close...it's cos of this generation of Extended Adolescents...anyway I need to work up the nerve to try and get along with someone-anyone within 10 years of my own age. I think I'm making myself just cos it seems so undo-able LOL! P.S Nine+ years still qualifies! ;)

Oh and these are the two sets of cheapo uggs that I add to my ever burgeoninig but TOTALLY practically necessary shoe collection! :D



And one final confession...I'm kind of addicted to GREEN&BLACKS organic dark 60% chocolate with organic crystallized ginger...lol it did cross my mind that maybe I should be a chococlate reviewer and get companies to send me free samples LOL...and that No H.O, unfortunately the bar just reviewed CANNOT be sent in the post and irradiated- that would just be doing it total injustice...I'm pretty sure you can get it in the states though...or else you'll just have to visit Down Under when the Munchkins are old enough...LOL

Thrown in the Towel

I've TRIED tried TRIED so. so. HARD to get. along. with. and relate. to. and LIKE the local monocultured aussies in my age vicinity but it's like dead in the water -a sinking anchor everytime of IMPOSSIBLE TO RELATE-there is a total lack of understanding on both sides.

So I've thrown in the towel and only bothering to invest in the rare-as-hen's-teeth-here Real Europeans from Europe now (even if they always do go home and leave)...it's still so much more rewarding- I actually feel like as a species they hail from my same galaxy...it's a really fantastic sense of relief...to not feel like such an alien in this country! And for CONVERSATION to just flow...

Manners

Having spent the last few months with foreigners and increasingly intense exposure to much older generations, it's a serious culture shock to be exposed to the local youth...how lacking in manners...What uncivilised DEROS...Sheesh!

A bit of respect, courtesy and consideration, properly formed words and sentences without the use of swearing wouldn't go astray...who knew I'd become so prim and proper in my old age...but SERIOUSLY...standards could definitely be lifted!!!

Interactions with local youth and I think...geez didn't your mother bring you up any better? What do they TEACH you in school these days? LOL am I starting to sound like an out of date Grandma yet? LOL well I don't get that nickname for nothing! ;)

Culture and refinement here are non-existent, but hey, I like the kookaburras...-so pudgy and fluffy and cheeky, very very cute :) sorry too lazy to take a pic to post. There's a couple that sit and watch the world go by on my neighbour's laundry line. I enjoy sneak peeking at them through the chink in the curtain in my window :)

They just think I'm weird...I'm STILL (im)patiently waiting for them to GROW UP!

LOL, who am I talking about? My Generation of course. THE EXTENDED ADOLESCENTS, lol I just came across this term recently and I think it aptly describes my entire generation.

In any case I was telling another old soul type around my age about my make three friends within 5 years of me either side this year goal-project and he didn't even say "Good Luck!" He just very matter of factly stated: "You need a Miracle."

LOL!!! Initially, as the ever hopeful optimist I took this as negative defeatism, however now I start to think maybe he was just being completely, realistically honest(which is most welcome in this era of Neptune in Pisces affliction ;)

So anyway yep. Still a huge chasm I feel with people vaguely my own age but maybe it is my geography since Oz is such a baby and young soul hot pot and the nearest metropolis is the worst offender. Maybe this chasm with my generation will never go away...maybe those NICE, OLD men I seem to meet and get chatting with so often that feel so natural to me, well...maybe in a few years I might consider them LOL...right now though the thought of being a stepmother to humans remotely close in age to me is really quite horrifying...

As my mother recently conceded "you need an OLD man." (if any :-p, her idea is always that women do). She advises 10 years MAX. Around 20 is what seems to hit the sweet spot in terms of true mental compatibility&connection though...but until I grow a few more white hairs, wrinkles and get some extra KGs it still looks terribly SUS being seen alone with them! :p

At the end of the day though, to be quite frank, I really do like my life the way it is right now(although a career again would be really nice too)....

Maybe I will never relate to people my own age? And maybe that's the way it's meant to be. Which is why my life has never EVER been boring!! :)

I can already guess it now-just cos this is how hilarious my life has always been...ironic... I'm going to end up with the complete reverse...a toyboy 10-20 years younger. You saw it here first!!! LOL of course I was just imagining the most amusing outcome...Young things suit my many planets in Libra though *wink*

Shit testing

I learnt this term off THE GAME. LOL I realised I do it all the time in such a multitude of ways...basically it is to test people's true character as to whether they are really worth knowing in the long term. 95% of people fail but to the remaining 5% if they are willing to invest near equally they end up with a REALLY GOOD FRIEND. More social types have often wondered why do I self-sabotage by making my net so small from the beginning. To be honest, I really don't have the energy or time, I have high standards, and as a super introvert, Ms Popularity is not my cup of tea anyway...I would rather have a teeny tiny stable of QUALITY Forever Friends...

At the end of the day it's my choice :)

THE GAME

So anyway it's the wee hours and my belly decided it was cold and hungry...So like a good Goldilocks bear I am brewing some porridge- asian style - RICE - of course -yum :)

So in the meantime I shall distract from my impatience to eat with the blog :)

So anyway, at a time when I am just completely overawed :p by the charms and conversation of local men, just wanted to share with you one of the FUNNIEST things I have come across in a long time.

THE GAME is a book that first came to my attention in the tangible world when Toyboy got given it for his birthday last year. In any case this ever psychologist and cheap thrills amusante begged and begged if she could borrow it preempting that it would make for some great laughs. He said "after me" and then promptly left the country, lol...so anyway then I forgot about it...

More recently I was in the car driving with my mate and noticed it on the seat. He said he was about half way through- somehow I pestered him enough into lending it to me even though he was only half way through so I that I could read it NOW, lol whoever called me demanding was probably RIGHT heheh

So anyway I haven't had that much time but I have read a couple of chapters...and it's the FUNNIEST most hilarious hysterical stuff! For those who are completely not up with pop culture it's a fascinating insight into the world of the PUA (Pick-Up Artist) complete with strategies and a completely impressively original specialist lexicon for which the book helpfully provides a detailed glossary...

I think between my hermit antisocial lifestyle, the circles I mix in, the fact I don't hang out in groups of GIRLS, the places I AVOID with a vengeance and let's face it the fact that I'm nowhere near that 10 in the looks department- I have never met a Pick up artist- except ONE...by accident, a born natural...although I think he must have read some of these books despite being born a completely smooth player flirt PUA with an impressive haul of conquests both in quality and quantity... So anyway I'm not sure if it was intentional but I was cracking up when there were a couple of things I recognised as clever openings, LINES and whatnot but to the unassuming "uneducated" ignoramus you would never have known...

In any case I am proud to say even though perhaps the creativity and intelligence behind the strategy is admirable...I am completely PUA resistant. Although I may fall for the charms temporarily, never long enough for them to ever get very much out of me...maybe it's also cos at the end of the day I finally admit I am masculinely-rationally...superficial, lol and the reason PUAs become PUAs is cos they aren't that attractive to start with...I'm also resistant cos as a intuituve empathic- I can see right through people's BS almost instantly, but also cos I'm an unpredictable alien that has a unique skew in almost how I think and what attracts me compared to the average person my age.

I actually recall a conversation with the token PUA I have met about how utterly unattractive I find the locals...But Euros...completely different story! ;)

And he said very matter of factly...something along the lines of well yeah the Europeans are the naturals...the world's GREATEST lovers and wooers... it's part of the culture. And that is the sad truth...PUA communities are just for all the sadly charmless cultures...And the only reason PUAs exist is because they're the more unattractive in society and would be completely like a barren conquestless desert without these fake charms...

So yeah places like here I think have a fairly rich PUA density...however Aussies are lucky they at least have something going for them in the looks department thanks to our great environment and healthy outdoor lifestyles...

My German gf currently touring concedes this as well, but it's the ONLY thing she concedes where her country and continentmen may come off second best in general...

The interesting part is I noticed that this discrimination is not just me...ALL my girlfriends are the same...I don't think any have ever dated a through and through born and bred monocultured Aussie. And what is the underlying theme?

...VERY SMART girls :) It's like *yaaaaawn* after a few minutes of brain dead may-as-well-be--eating-cardboard conversations...

Actually I did that a lot as a kid, and even that was more exciting ;)