Progress...or lack thereof!

I visited my first alma mater tonight...it brought back a lot of memories and I was seriously impressed with how glam it has become...saw a fun film based on a comic about postgraduate life...Piled higher and deeper...it was nice to be in the midst of similarly intellectual people that could relate to the agony only those who have spent a third of their life in tertiary education facilities and the unique problems encountered by devoting so much of your youth to furthering your knowledge...

Meanwhile other people have had three kids ;) relocated to and travelled various continents several times already and even all the divorcees are getting REmarried lol! Shows how time flies...while you're busy with your head stuck in books...

Cannot compare though...furthering knowledge and saving the world as a direct offshoot of what you learn is quite a noble pursuit...haha. Just when people ask so...what's new? There isn't always a whole lot to say when these things can be the same old same old for years!

Or maybe I secretly can't get enough of the student life...in some respects student life is your heyday of fun times and sweet memories...but not so much as you get older and broker...and have student debts reaching for the sky... :P

But yeah for all the lack of visible progress I feel ALOT of things wriggling under the surface...it's even a bit exciting actually...

If only you could just drop everything...

But I am and have been raised way too pragmatic and rational for that.

I just saw a movie "Before Sunrise" wow, it was almost painful to sit through...it so accurately captures those moments that every traveller encounters when they travel alone in an alien environment...

where you meet and have an instant connect and amazing rapport with a complete total stranger who you only came to know as you were in the same place at the same time....a chance encounter that had like a one in a zillion chance of happening...

The worst part is you both have your own separate lives to return to very very far apart in geography and that heavy feeling in your heart is that you know you can just enjoy the present moment and then have to say Goodbye never to see that person again. That it was a transient encounter that you have to let go and forget about to spare yourself the pain of separation. The challenge (especially for females) is always about not getting emotionally attached...

And even if you are foolish and try and keep in touch, the timezones and daily life opposite to your own and your responsibilities back home in the with the passing of time get the better of you, so it is actually easier to not even try and just accept that it was a nice moment, that it is what it was. And that's that!

Rubbing Shoulders with...

OMG. This is the stuff of DREAMS!! Or at least stuff I would soooo be boasting about to EVERYBODY if I was still a somewhat pretentious film student at university lol!!!

In any case in an interesting twist of events-synchronicity perhaps- I saw a very amazing film that I was INCREDIBLY IMPRESSED by the foreign director...several days later it seems I have managed to "bump into" one of his former students who has also trained under ANOTHER superfamous esteemed foreign film director whose work I Highly respect and liked...and so anyway my new friend is ALSO a film director with his own production company!

AND he will be coming to Roo Land next year....arghhhhh!

In any case it is soooooo amazing to have someone SO "in the know" that I can discuss amazing cinema and great directors with etc etc...WOW. It is very exciting. Maybe if this happens frequently enough- exotic foreigners from overseas for visits with "interesting calibre ratings" of 7+ and more...the social culture of this country won't wear me down so much...cos I like everything else :)

LOL I think this is the closest I've been to being awestruck screaming and crying teenager in a concert thing...but I'm about to see MY VERY FAVOURITE BAND OF THE CURRENT ERA...so with any luck I might somehow "bump into" them! LOL I'm pretty sure I'd be soooo awestruck I couldn't even babble I'd just be completely overawed embarrassed and tongue tied!!!

Spy Not Quite!

I've always had a thing for the whole 007 concept...I've always fancied myself a bit of one...lol! That is until I saw a more realistic portrayal of the world of international spydom...in MUNICH.

LOL somehow James Bond doesn't have recurring nightmares or trauma and isn't always watching his back...not nice!

Apart from that saw MONGOL about Genghis Khan which was also a very good film - yay :)

Apart from that WOW home maintenance is a huge task...spent the entire last two days just catching up to make house liveable- you go out three days straight and don't keep up with the housework and suddenly are presented with a mountain! Definitely need to not fall into that again!

The other cool "new" thing for me today is I have now started a trend of bourgeoisie bathroom lol...what else to do when you have fresh flowers coming out of your ears!!! Anyway I decided I quite like it....even if they are...PINK :p

circa 1995-2000

I found a certain comfort coming full circle, a sense of being "home"...

snuggled into darkened cocoons with arty subtitled films, inspired by unknown sounds(in this case swedish jazz and jazz compositions made entirely of human voices)...

It's been a very, very long time since I've had the luxury to indulge this long lost me. It was good to come "home".

Que Sera, Sera....Escapism Love it! :D

Tomorrow will be back to another normal grind of a day, refreshed. Sometimes you just need a day off with no agenda...and entirely to yourself! Not to mention there are different SEASONS in life...a new revelation to me...is the one of stillness and silence where you conserve all your "essence" and concentrate all your energy and effort for yourself internally in prepation for external manifestation and frenzied paces at a later date??...so let's just say I'm the butterfly larvae in the cocoon growing nice and fat at the moment ;)

p.s I indulge words aka verbal diarrhoea too much hence gng to start engaging my right brain more with a picture each post(not necessarily related to the post, lol)...see how long I can last- before I get too lazy!!!

Despair

Okay so have to say the raining weather kinda amplifies this but ever since watching the film FLOW...I felt this large scale sense of despair...I mean it SHOULD be a human right that each person has access to water as they do access to breathing...except that rich multinationals have kicked people off their land and control all the water and care not at all that some people are too poor to be able to PAY for water...which was always free before they got kicked off the land their ancestors have owned for generations!!

I don't know I just think money and greed and modernity is making human society lose all sense of decency and common sense...crazy!!!

In any case to be honest as a reasonably privileged person in a privilieged country I had NO IDEA about the crisis state of water commodification and it's impacts on the environment and people. It was very disconcerting to have my eyes opened...

Maybe I'm weird but I feel at this era of my life, while most of my cohort are concerned with careers, spouses, mortgages and babies I am finding my heart strings being pulled for the ENVIRONMENT and protection of the natural world...

Maybe the longstanding not so obvious inner Hippie is starting to consolidate to be an Outer AND Inner through and through Hippie as well...

I just have no idea what can be done or even mor specifically what III could do that would make a difference or be a positive contribution in the right direction...

Dirty Pretty Things

I really liked this movie. I think it's good for idealists to see these kinds of "reality" movies...cos in lucky progressive countries we often forget what SOME people are having to go through. I'm so sick of really heavy negative people though....even lucky countries are full of broken people with heaps of issues. Maybe it's escapist or maybe I've indulged too much of it already, but I 'm tired of these kinds of people...so I happily avoid them...maybe I do prefer the people who save you the hassle and at least act cheerful no matter what!

I especially liked the opening instrumentals and the credits song...

I just keep surprising...myself! LOL

No...not like I hide behind a wall scream *peekaboo*, film it, and then watch it and collapse in giggles, LOL!!!

But just in terms of how I keep evolving...and finding out new things about myself that I just would never have guessed maybe even just a few months ago...

Today I saw a really great film WALK ON WATER...combining the best of two worlds...my strange affinity for German everything & interest in German history, as well as the beautiful holy country of Israel...

I thought the film was a kind of BRIDGE in a way...which perhaps resonates with how I am...

In any case one revelation I had recently is that I feel a special draw to Israel lately which I found surprising...for many years now my Korean friend has been expressing to me her "Heart for Israel & the Middle East"...I never understood! I'm not sure if I have this same "Heart" but I'm definitely feeling a draw and interest for Israel that I have never had before...interested enough to want to visit(if I did fly that is).

Other things that I have found surprisingly in recent times...

I CAN'T STAND. cold. wet and windy. I used to be a hate the heat girl...in my old age, it seems I've done a 180....balmy please come soon enough!!!

I actually ENJOY domesticity...I like pottering around the house...cooking, trying to keep the place nice etc...I actually suddenly got interested in aesthetics...I enjoy expensive things...

Suddenly I see that I could easily BE that Lady of Leisure which I never had any respect for and thought was the lowest kind of low in terms of a future I could see for myself...

It's bizarre it's like a completely new me...who I don't know and am starting to discover...not sure if I like her-I guess I don't have a choice- definitely she's surprising me!!!

BUT. Don't get too excited I'm not giving up my well worn comfy hippie dero self anytime soon!!! That would just be too drastic- Grandma wouldn't be able to deal with such a jarring shock to the system. I guess I'll be the ultimate polarity...harmony in contradiction :)

Best Kung Fu Movie EVER!

Okay between my last post and bed I got distracted and detoured via...TV!

And ended up seeing a fantastic film!

Highly recommend it- the fight sequences are inspiring- I totally want to learn Wing Chun now!

P.S it is about the guy who stood up to Japan during China's invasion and later went on to teach BRUCE LEE!!!!

If you're not interested to go rent it NOW...what are you waiting for!

Well I AM a Water Girl after all ;)

I saw WATER FOR ELEPHANTS tonight...and LIKED...lol I think, alas...in my old age...I'm getting mushier and more sentimental. I especially really have a heart for animals these days...(but not dogs, I am so getting over my love affair with dogs- they seriously don't chain them up in this area and they are terrifying monsters!)

In any case another interesting development is that I am SO OVER my Venus in Aquarius obsession...I'm even over fire signs...yup I think this girl has grown up and out of OPPOSITES ATTRACT. These days I finally see my fellow water signs for the absolutely thoughtful, darling, kind, giving, compassionate, sensitive and caring, intuitive and understanding beings that they are...FINALLY I am in touch with what traditional astrological wisdom has always said!

I'm going to get THE CAT tomorrow...any name suggestions? LOL, some times love really is at first sight...I just need that cat!

The Jehovah's Witness that knocked on my door came AGAIN this time showing up with reinforcements...luckily it is easy for me to be blunt...I just said "LOOK I REALLY DON'T CARE"....lol and I didn't even feel a tad rude or guilty about it, I love it, I love my aspie tendencies :)

It was quite like looking at myself...

I'm talking about the portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network...(minus the total geekiness, nerdiness and intellectualism of course, lol)

Other sources have typed him as an INTJ or INTP, so that makes sense....

In any case I realised that although I am not a misanthropist, I still prefer my own company to the company of 90% of other people anyday. Most of what I need in terms of people interaction is discussion of ideas...if I get that mind candy fix discussing ideas etc which the net is great for, I am pretty content... I don't really get the non purposeful human interaction side of things...

Not sure why not wanting to socialize with other people so much always makes me feel so guilty. I guess cos we get socialised from young that it is unacceptable to be anti-social and a hermit and to actually choose this lifestyle over a social one is kind of like wow "you must be an alien" kind of social taboo/CRIME...actually if you don't keep it to yourself really you do get lectured and told off like you are some kind of CRIMINAL as well...

I guess though, at the end of the day it's a type thing...and inherent...I don't think things like this can change...

It was a pleasurable(bar the crowds-I really need to relocate to a smaller city as soon as is feasible :P) weekend though... lots of EATING, SUN, WATER and AIR. For all the "difficultness" INTJs are famed for, you can see how this particular one balances out by being able to take pleasure in the most simple things in life :)

What does your Soul look like?

I saw this 'quirky as' movie during the week highly reminiscent of "Being John Malkovich"....it's called "Cold Souls"....amusing, eccentric, original with pretty cool gadgets...in a way this movie could be seen as both "ridiculous" (if you're conservative)due to soul trading, soul smuggling mules, soul extraction and transplantation...but also "intriguing" if you are curious and cool like me ;) definitely it's a fun film for the "out of the square" bunch.

So anyway, our hapless protagonist's soul looks like a CHICKPEA. That got me thinking...what would mine look like? And what immediately came to mind was a bright light kingfisher blue eminence, kinda like a light- ebbing and flowing in intensity and in a 3D spherical kind of way like a star or a sun. And it would change colour...on happy or in my element days it might be golden and large or maybe rainbow-esque...today it looks kind of a more subdued shimmery- a silvery luminescence perhaps, with a bit of a rainbow hue on the side :)

All washed up...so depressing!

Someone who first met me several years ago was recounting when she first saw me, and comparing the vision to me now. Basically the idea that came across is that I'm SO PAST MY PRIME :P

blergh...it does mention this in ancient chinese texts...basically the ancients reckoned a woman is "washed up" at 7X4 years...

*sigh* lol, now I need to start liking that phrase "ageing gracefully"...

on a happier note, I saw a pretty enjoyable cool film today...(500) days of Summer. If you like my kind of music and film...and quirky characters...definitely go see it! The SOUNDTRACK is pure awesomeness...

Gran Torino...WOW.

So...I was bad. I spent all day that I wasn't in obligatory domestics: cooking, laundry, groceries etc bludging... firstly cos I severely needed the rest and also cos I really wanted to see a movie...Gran Torino to be precise. And wasn't it awesome. And I rarely think movies are THAT good! Who would have thought that a name with a car for a title and a plot about a war veteran would be so good...I really enjoyed the cross cultural component of this film...and the fact that it depicted people at their best and most noble. I guess for me it was a great uplifting-to-the -spirit escape from reality notably temporarily purging my disillusionment with modern society and cityfolk...I actually felt somewhat 'cleansed' of my week from the experience...and I have to admit I even had a tear in my eye- there are few fictional films that can draw me in so much and actually move me...If you haven't seen it GO SEE IT!!!

I don't get why Slumdog Millionaire is getting all the accolades...I saw it long before all the hype and honestly I wasn't particularly impressed. There are far better world movies out there. I guess the Danny Boyle stamp makes a big difference as to how a film gets received...it was "good" but not THAT good! The other thing I've seen which I really liked was the documentary Man on Wire- he truly is one inspired and inspiring eccentric!

Man On Wire....

FINALLY! I've been waiting months to see this film!!!!

So crazy...so eccentric....SO INSPIRING...Ingenious! So much disregard for rules! I Love it!!!

I really enjoyed the whole "Your dreams become your reality" and "anything and everything is possible" themes! Yup, this film totally resonated with me^^.

After, just drove around aimlessly chatting with a friend- was pretty fun- there is absolutely nothing open on a Sunday night - just dead except for the fresh air and night lights- exactly how I like it :)

Busy week ahead...starting with a gradual easing back into it with a bit of herb clinic in the arvo and particpating in some pretty interesting psych research on Tuesday...

Francois Truffaut's The 400 Blows (1959)

So as my free time rapidly ticks down, I've been in the mood to indulge my long lost cinema habit- and not just any...I've only been in the mood for old time classics.

There's just something about old movies, and not just for the gorgeous black and white visuals where each screen would make a half decent photo...I think it's because there are less "party trick ruffles" that modern technology affords cinema these days so you tend to get a film that has more consideration in its plot, dialogue and construction. I guess I also enjoy these realistic coming of age type stories, in particular this one, because I can relate to our protagnoist as the troublemaker problem child! ;) I also absolutely adored this film as a series of visuals...since I love black and white photography above all...and this one is stunning...the French definitely have a fine tradition of excellent cinematography...

I'm lucky my local library seems to have a really awesome arthouse collection of old school classics and foreign films (much better than the video shop- and the best part is it's free :)

Apart from engrossing myself in old time flicks, all I really feel like doing lately if I do go out, is to go to the beach sit there and just breathe....no kidding! I guess that's pretty anti-social but that's what I feel like. But since I know that time is ticking down I'm still making myself go out and catch up with people a little just cos I feel I have to while I have the opportunity...

I guess if there were more mature souls in this part of the world maybe I'd feel a little differently but the reality is I'm inundated by baby souls here and it can get pretty draining...

I liked this Dream :)

Well the rest of the dream was pretty crazy like weird obstacle courses where my daredevil mate was riding a horse drawn wagon trying to jump the entire horse and buggy over other horses ahead of him...and I don't remember much else but the end was like the end credits of a film...with a title reading

"The Best Things in Life are The Simplest Ones!"

LOL, so it got me thinking what are some of the simplest things unique to me that make me Ooze Joy... this is a working list cos my brain doesn't kick into full force until well after 5pm ;)

* Happy Guinea Pigs (when guinea pigs are OVERJOYED they run around excitedly and "hop" like little kernels of popping corn emitting little "yelps" of delight...it is one of the Cutest things you can ever witness EVER.

* Being able to satiate a Food Craving and not be disappointed currently this is Green&Blacks Italian style chocolate, organic dried apricots, MSG free wonton noodles and northern style pan fried pork dumplings with vinegar...

* Foreign Correspondence and resulting culture class with people all around the world :-D

* Escaping into Nature whether it be a salt breeze with big mouthed pelicans or misty dew green mountains or big, clear blue sky, yellow grasses and vast expanses of empty tarmac ahead.

* Inspiration from people, music, film, philosophers, art

More prolific on Cloudy Days: Miscellaneous Ramblings

I'm not sure what it is with overcast weather but I always feel like writing alot in this kind of weather - I guess it's like how some people get very productive creatively when they listen to certain types of music...

I was hoping to watch The City of Lost Children or John Safran vs God cos I've had them sitting around the last 6 months and I really should return them to my friend but I guess for me to sit down continously watching something is always a challenge to stay still cos watching a screen is such a passive exercise. At least with writing, my hyperactive brain gets a chance to run off the leash!

In any case I'm listening to Birthday (can't ever get sick of this song!!)...before I was slightly more interesting listening to Cut Copy's IN GHOST COLOURS which is a pretty enjoyable electropop album...don't have much of this kind of music in my collection but I can understand why I like it...it is very similar to New Order I think- just a more modern version. I don't know if this is a totally off presumption cos I'm not quite the fan but I suspect it is a little like Daft Punk too.

Random snippets as follows...

Random Musing 1 : Canon Marketing
I was looking through all the contents (as you do) when you have a new electronic purchase. And I saw two advertising booklets Canon had in the box- one was to promote why you need one of their IS (Image Stabilizer) lenses and the other one was on promoting why their Macro lenses are so good(apparently it is due to their USM (Ultra Sonic Motor) and hence super quiet lenses. They had this cutesy cartoon picture of a grasshopper in a flower showing that if you don't have a USM lens when you click the grasshopper will get disturbed and hop away wrecking your photo, however with a USM lens it will go on sleeping quietly enabling you to get your perfect macro shot...Cute.

I couldn't help but think I'm just like the grasshopper: whenever I get put on the spot and taken offguard like that I freak out and the adrenalin kicks in so that I run run run even before my brain verified that there was any real threat of danger in the first place...I think I've missed out on some unique opportunities by being such a hypersensitive scaredy anti-confrontational cat...I wish I wasn't so wired! But I don't think it's pathology of psychology so much...I think it's to do with a leaning towards hyperthyroidism...hence also why I can eat bucketloads of fatty junkfood and crap and not put on a scrap of flesh...luckily though I know when to stop cos the nauseous and ill feeling kicks in.

Random Musing 2: Trust your 'Irrational' instincts
I was reading how with the current astrological influence...we are going through a renaissance of the time that gave birth to the whole Hippie Revolution...and how anything that represents stability will be negatively effected eg financial institutions, home ownership etc...

This took me back to the time I ended up part-purchasing a place that I didn't feel was "right" from the start however by all practical means- location, value, investment wise etc it was pretty good.

In any case for the 2 years or so I lived there I got soooo sick and had a pretty bad run of luck. Being immobilised for so long after an accident with nothing but spare time on my hands got me considering everything under the sun and I looked into the Feng Shui of the place... which only served to confirm my suspicions...it finally reached a point I got so sick we moved to a lovely good vibes little villa in a gorgeous town...and after that my improvement and healing was speedy. Based on the luck that befell the several tenants who have lived there since I can say it was not just me!

So from that, I guess the moral of the story is Don't ever ignore those "irrational" gut instincts! If your body has some reaction loud and clear to something, chances are it knows better than any 'Mind Rationalisation' any day!!!

Convoluted Paths, Film and Music...

I learnt in my notetaking class about the curious art form of Path Tracing. It's pretty cool really: to gauge human interaction with a public space, people's movements in that space are documented and recorded visually- this has become some kind of ubercool underground art form...

Since I had a luxurious day off yesterday today brought scope for "playtime"- and it was only the second time I've found myself having to come back reasonably late night unescorted in the city and we all know what happened the first time :P

So anyway I deliberately went back the long-winded way to avoid the beer goggled and dangerous yobbo stretch...no such luck :P just 200 m shy of home there was some crazy blocking the bridge who was curled up screaming violent nonsense like he required an exorcism...so I had to turn back to where I came and walk yet another convoluted path home...

I was half thinking- "wow what pretty arty squiggles my path home would have made"LOL. Of course my rational practical side was thinking "sheesh, SO INEFFICIENT- this convoluted path walking is really starting to get on my nerves!"

So anyway, I caught a film The Visitor - I have to admit I didn't read the entire blurb when choosing - I got suckered in by the headline "in a world of 6 billion people it only takes one to change your life" as well as the fact it was set in NYC...

Unfortunately, unlike Juno I have no glowing review for The Visitor...I found the movie was overly sentimental, overly constructed/stylized? and highly oppressive/quite heavy- I guess that is the mood the director was trying to achieve though...if you have seen this film and have an opinion, I'd like to know!

In any case, I did take one inspiration from the film...

I think I want to take up African Drumming(Djembe)!!!

pic: wikipedia

Playing drums has always been a childhood wish (along with trombone, sax and double bass- LOl what's the deal with small person and big instruments?!)

I like rhythm so much, I remember as a child playing pots and pans and even stringing up an icecream bucket to be 'the little drummerboy'...this love for rhythm and noise even extended to me 'tapdancing' on the kitchen tiles.

Anyhow no drumkit or drum lessons ever eventuated because of my mum's preconceived ideas about what constitutes a gender appropriate instrument...or maybe she was just being sensible it what she would be able to stand the sound of!!

In any case, since I'm on the topic of music, just yesterday I was listening to Nigel Kennedy's Four Seasons and thinking what an utterly sublime piece of classical music it is, and that if I could play the violin I'd want to be able to play just like him!

Similarly, if I could play Cello, I'd want to be able to play like Yo Yo Ma. And piano, I have no favourite artist as long as I had the ability to play great composers like Ravel, Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart, Debussy etc...

The great thing about African Drumming is unlike the others which you need to learn as a child just to be able to make nice noises, I think hand drums are relatively easy to learn as long as you have a decent sense of rhythm! I wonder how much they cost??...I think this will have to wait till after the DSLR...and I definitely need to take a vow of abstinence with the CDs! :-p

A Favourite Movie: JUNO

I've been wanting to see Juno for aaaages...Highly anticipated, I'm glad to say it didn't disappoint^^....t'was an *instant favourite* with me- LOOOOOVE!!! Halfway through I was already thinking "damn I wish I had time to watch it Again straight away!"

I think I liked it so much cos I can really relate to the protagonist, and when I was sixteen I was SERIOUSLY just like Juno...

My favourite parts of the movie was the revelation where she affirms that jocks always secretly like the weirdo girls...*LOL I was cracking up thinking of you straightaway, S!

And then the bit where she says she doesn't do proms cos 'proms are only for squares or nerds' and she's neither...yah me too :)

I also like this part of the movie:

Juno: Hey Dad!
Dad: Hey Big Puffy Version of Junebug, where you been?
Juno: Just out...dealing with things waaaaay beyond my maturity level.(*LOL that line SO reminded me of me at sixteen!)


I also really liked her hamburger phone- I've so always wanted a novelty corded phone but unfortunately I couldn't find one when I did try and look earlier this year-even normal corded phones are pretty non-existent these days :P

The other favourite segment was the bit where Juno says to her dad

"I'm just like, losing faith with humanity" (yeah ME TOO! especially in the city!)

And then Juno's romantic idealism(like me!) comes out too...

"I just need to know that it's possible that two people can stay together forever".

Liked her dad's 5 cents:

"Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are...good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you...the right person's still gonna think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with!"

AGREE :)

Ellen Page is such a kick-ass actress! I really liked her performance in this film, and was equally impressed by her performance in Hard Candy. She's definitely destined for greatness- an actress to watch out for!