Empowered ^^

I have to say I'm happier than I've ever been in my life...the reason?

A sense of Empowerment

I have to admit especially being born into a female body and growing up in a pretty chauvinistic dominant culture I've always felt rather oppressed. Factor into that culture, upbringing, men with big egos, ill health and a sense of oppression, helplessness and powerlessness have been major dampeners on life.

How did this post come about? I recently heard of an ex-colleague who'd be pushing her very late 30s...who as soon as she returned to her home country...got married! On viewing the wedding pictures I never saw anything so depressing...two complete strangers standing side by side with absolutely no interaction you would expect from a couple. I felt so sad that she felt so powerless that she felt at her age she had no options left available to her than to settle with some arranged-unknown-so not her type perfect STRANGER.

By the same token I feel sorry for all those impoverished women in asian countries with no education or means that end up with rich old white men because they have no better options.

So in this sense I feel I have options, opportunities, choices, I have ability to exercise free will, FREEDOM for the first time in my life...complete free reign! Boy do I feel happy about that. And RELIEVED. And I do spare a thought for those women in the world who aren't so lucky...

I had one of the most amazing, exciting, fortunate days today!!!!

It was amazing...THANKS GOD :)

I can't even elaborate so much happened and was so complex and kinda a little so amazing it was a bit mind blowing...or at least uncomprehendable.

FEEL GOOD - wonder if I will still feel this amazing when I wake up tomorrow...but seriously THANKS GOD it's almost like 20 christmases came at once...today would have to be in my TOP 3-5 things of amazingness that ever happened in my life....maybe tomorrow it might fall down the ranks but still...definitely makes the TOP TEN ever ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^!!!

The looong day started at 8am and ends now....almost 2am...it was A GREAT DAY :D

People often wonder...

Why I'm Single...

So I had a think about it and this was the best I could come up with...

1. I'm FUSSY and don't want to settle for substandard, want an EQUAL or preferably someone more admirable.

2. I'm attracted to just about NOBODY in this country.

3. I've always been far removed from the rest of society so don't meet many people.

4. I don't feel I need any more COMPLICATION to my life.

5. I kinda like my personal space and time....and not good with others cramping my style...

6. I already met the best...my Twin Flame! :)

So if those are not good reasons I don't know what are...

And apart from that maybe when you are close to God you just don't really feel any "voids" that need to be filled in your life :)

Please Santa...

Send me a German for Christmas! :)
Send me a German for Christmas! :)
Send me a German for Christmas! :)

Or send some of my old Aussie friends BACK from the wrong hemisphere already! Pleeeeease...

p.s you notice I didn't ask God...cos I know God delivers and boy do I never know what I really want or what is really good for me, lol!

While I'm at it, Santa, please send my blogger friend and b'day twin James a hot Swedish boy! ;)

Oz beats Germany hands down...

Interesting article from an ex German. Mind you she lives on the West Coast...really quite different to here...but as a country comparison it still holds true.

Can Ducks Smell?

So anyway lately I have been visiting my old town....whadda...SANCTUARY!

I'm tempted to just pack in all ambitions and go back there and get a job as a check out chick just for the peace and quiet space and ease of breathing and constant...stress free JOY.

Everybody needs a Sanctuary. I have one or a few in the city and one or a few out of the city, but not sure if that is enough, if I had my way the only place I would exist would always be a sanctuary.

In any case in my one of the ones out of the city...I get visited by this very specific husband and wife duck couple...



they are so good to drop by and say "Hi!"when I'm in town no matter what time or place that I wondered "Can Ducks Smell?" As in, are they able to discern my unique smell and know it's me in town and hence come to visit?

My friend tells me "Sure they can smell they have nostrils on their bill!" Whaddaya know! I have some Good Duck Friends!!-wow, that just makes my day! LOL

In other daily trivia I just had to post a pic of this fantastic card

sent to me by my blogger friend HO....Gosh I love this card...especially the little cupcake in the lollypop if you look carefully. I showed my mum and she sighed with exasperation and just said "just like a little kid!" LOL, HO you are included...she thinks you are a child too...except I defended you that you have 3 rugrats, lol.

In any case I also thought the sticker was a good call...

p.s if you were interested, I don't eat duck...every duck is my friend...I LOVE DUCKS!!!

Hello, Ms Cheery!

Well that would be ME^^

I put it down to all the time I've given myself away from annoying, selfish, demanding people with bad energy. Also with TAKING MY ENERGY BACK from all the undeservings out there. Before I just gave out to all that needed, without realising I DON'T HAVE TO! Especially if it's just going to drain me and make ME soaked in bad vibes and exhausted.

For a while, especially before reading about HSPs I used to feel guilty about being anti-social and doing things for ME but now I realise it's actually a basic functional necessity...things like QUIET time and time ALONE.

Yay! Why HELLO, Ms CHEERY!!! ^^

Reiki Love!

Wow this reiki stuff is so powerful. I went for a reiki/massage the other day since scientific study has recently proved that massage boosts your NK and T cells (basically, Immunity) and to be honest this experience with reiki with this particular practitioner was the only time I didn't feel aches in my body (which is also what inspired me to go learn myself).

Ever since then, I feel an amazing reborn ability to feel love towards dare I say it, everybody! (just to varying degrees, and in different ways of course ;)

This is in stark contrast to my usual cynical misanthropy fuelled by my dero surrounds.

Maybe I just had a strange day...it's not everyday one wakes from a coma! I think I need these "good news miracle" stories more often to "top me up" on feel good vibes...cos I'm just way so idealistic...and still haven't mastered protecting my energetic boundaries from negativity.

How I've come to perceive Happiness...

It never ceases to amaze me how people who seemingly have all they could ever want in life (which they are happy with) are still terribly unhappy...

Okay you could summarise it in two words: clinical depression.

Or maybe, maybe it goes like this...

People have expectations and when these are not met, it makes them unhappy.

In any case I am terribly guilty of the "if only I had..." sentiment, then I'd be PERFECTLY HAPPY.

Whether this be money, a partner, kids, or as in my case, *great health*....it doesn't actually equate to happiness...cos somewhere along the line, something else will not meet your hopes and expectations and will make you "not happy". It's an interminable state of affairs...

So this is the way I've come to perceive Happiness...

Basically if your very existence is not in actual jeopardy and you have the essentials necessary to survival eg: food, water, shelter and you're not living in an atmosphere plagued by war, hitmen, massive debts or life-threatening illness...basically, with that criteria...I argue that anything above that should be regarded as "a bonus" so that you should count yourself Happy!

In alternate terms, I guess what I am saying is that our perception needs to change so that we lower our expectations for what we feel we NEED to be happy.

And you need to consciously think about what you are happy for in the present moment...

e.g for me right now I am happy for the Swedish pear cider that sits in a fantastically pleasing wine glass (yes, I AM easy to please), and the spare time and freedom I have with which to sip it at my leisure in the privacy of my own space....in my pyjamas! ;)

Hehe...Happiness then, is forever dynamic and constantly changing, reflected in continual "moments"...

(For the people who are never happy ie those who are clinically depressed, apart from the biomedical view of it being due to chemical imbalance etc...here's an alternative thought...perhaps, it is karmic residue?!)

Or, better put ask yourself...What can I be thankful for and what do I HAVE that makes me Happy? Yes Folks, it's all about keeping that glass half FULL mentality!

Now...Stop whingeing and go back to work!!! (hehe that's what I would usually be saying to myself except for the fact that now I can be a bum as much as I wish...*sigh...now that's what I call SUPER DUPER HAPPINESS!^^ haha)

p.s this is what sounds like sheer happiness to me...

A Dream.

"I had another flying dream which was a nice escape. i was slung onto a helicopter in a slingchair riding the open sky my left hand was holding a large black umbrella mary poppins style and i was flying over a sound. the water was deep blue and there were little icebergs glittering from the sun like diamonds. ahhhh...if only i could live in my dreams!"

Do you love yourself?

So this is my favourite question lately doing the rounds.

My honest answer is...a resounding...Yes! :)

LOL some people might interpret this as narcissism, self-obsession and egotism.

But if they truly believe that love for yourself equates to that mentioned above, they're truly unenlightened...

And I feel sorry for them because in not being able to understand, it is very likely they don't love themselves.

The reason why I really love this question lately is because I feel it is a great indicator of one's emotional health and unfortunately, in all the people I encounter I can honestly say very, very few people can actually answer...Yes!

Mostly people can at best manage a..."sometimes" which is dependent on mood- when they feel happy or confident they can love themselves...ie they only love themselves conditionally.

If you truly love yourself, it is unconditional and solid as rock...and I believe being able to love yourself first is the foundation of real happiness and inner peace. Once you truly believe that you are worthy of, deserving and capable of achieving all you aspire to and dream of, that is truly a very powerful feeling...

I say all this because I think with all the troubled souls I encounter, see and counsel and with so much turbulence and challenge under my belt I feel I am in some way "qualified". I definitely went into the washing machine like everybody else, a piece of dirty laundry - however unlike most people of my vintage I got spun for several cycles at 1600rpm and now I feel I've finally emerged not just wrung out and cleansed but I've had time to hang on the line in quiet contemplation to observe, dry, regain my shape...and I now feel free, liberated and brand spanking new...

Life has never been BETTER :-D

Guilty Pleasures...

1. Sleeping IN. Lying in Bed....(when I should be in class :-o! )
2. Eating whatever I want...that means Chocolate! (for now)
3. (Day) Dreaming so that things end up burning and stops get missed...oops
4. Precious time frivolously spent on the internet when I should & could be studying.
5. Playing music at full blast with little concern as to whether my neighbours actually appreciate the sound or not.
6. The little leap of joy I feel inside when my ball manages to hit the cage car driving around collecting all the balls at the driving range :o)

What are yours?

Z scores a BIG BRO! :-D

Several years ago when all the girls were looking at older men as potential boyfriends, I must confess I was trawling through older men but with a very different idea in mind...

I was wanting one as a "Big Bro"!!!

LOL...anyway it's taken what 7 years or so but I finally GOT ONE!!! Woohoooo! yay, another long time wish that came true!

So the fact is I have a real big bro but being much older than me he left a long time ago and is very busy with a high flying career and his own family so I've always desperately missed having a "brother" figure in my life since let's face it even with big sisters, getting along with chicks ain't exactly my forte!

So anyway I was really happy when someone actually approached me and said I am like his little sister and he feels "responsible" to look out for and look after me!! The way he said it, it's almost like he believed we have this kind of specific "karma"or something!

Anyway, pretty cool I think :)

Sweet Dero-ness and the Awakening of a New Era

Got home. Crashed out on the couch for 3 hours straight...exhausted. Sheesh!No more crazy poker nights or nada for me...definitely can't afford to do this during semester...totally screws with my whole study routine!

In any case since no seeing patients today I indulged in being particularly 'dero'...a great throwback to the peak of my university days-Take One- as a carefree 18 year old...so much has changed yet some things are really just the same too as evidenced by the pic :)

Comfy Jeans, Comfy Hoodie, trademark assortment of wrist bands, and daggy 20 year old bona fide Malaysian "go out to throw the rubbish" slippers! Comfy, Comfy Comfy! Love it :-D

I have to admit that in the desire to have more professional and age credibility these days I'm not as dero as I enjoy being...most of the time LOL

Besides that I'm really enjoying this 'New Era'...at its fundamental core is acknowledging, accepting and being receptive to my own intuition as well as living according to my natural instincts, wants and needs. There is no longer a living according to what others need from me or being confined by social and cultural norms, neither am I constantly having this head vs gut war raging inside me. I'm no longer ignoring or dismissing insights that just "come to me" as irrational or any less valid than the insights I get from typically more "trustworthy" and factual sources...Which has resulted in this new sense of Stress-free Ease which I guess is ultimately what you feel when you're "in balance" and burden free! :-D

And the very strong message I am hearing from my angels is "You are entering the best time of your life...Live it wisely." No kidding, I have squandered way too much of my life already...

Other stuff...

>Sunday met up with P briefly and some of his friends...a bonafide Swede living here who was happy to endow me with more cool Swedish words :) and 2 other Aussie Malaysian Chinese girls which was pretty cool to "exchange notes"...strangely I just never seem to meet any of my own kind...

>I got in trouble again by the Chinese doc for regressing back to eating heaty foods...spicy food, alcohol...needless to say...BANNED. Hmmm, I can foresee how hard it's going to be to enforce discipline with patients of my own...I'm not exactly a shining example...reason to pull up socks I guess so I don't look like a hypocrite!

>I'm going to let my friend "go to town" with scissors on my hair cos she wants practice....should be interesting ;). It's not like she's studying haircutting or anything...oh well, it'll grow back...LOL Reminds me of the time (when I was 18) that I got so sick of my hair I just started enthusiastically with the scissors despite not knowing how...and ended up with this very peculiar missing chunk LOL...my friend had to drive over and spent 1 hour salvaging my misdirected boredom...I figure if there are any mishaps this time, at least I'm in the city...it should be easy to find someone to rectify it soon enough LOL

Have a good week everybody...I really am going to try and stick my head in the books!!

Maybe all you really need are Good Blog Friends...

LOL, this extremely HONEST post by Caroline caused possibly the most sensation I've ever witnessed throughout her blogging existence...the responses were equally as compelling reading...

they made for a great "restore faith in your fellow human beings" moment :-D

...well, for me, at least! :)

Life...

How do you know this photo is real? With the 1600 ISOs (as above) let alone manipulation possible with the digital age, it's not always easy to tell...

The way you you know that this photo is real...

It's the imperfection...the variations on the underside of the leaf...

Life is like the leaf. Even if you feel it is perfect, this is always temporary cos sooner or later reality kicks in and you realise literal 'perfection' cannot be sustained over time. The only way to really be able to be Happy is to not make yourself slave to inflexible expectations and Nazi- like Perfectionism(believe me, I'm a reformed Perfectionist).

Happiness is about maintaining an equilibrium: we constantly need to adjust and adapt to maintain the scales.

I was talking engagement rings with my friend the other day...Diamonds come in different grades- it is actually possible to get diamonds that under the microscope are categorised as "Flawless". I remember having one offered to me. I turned it down...cos to me, instinctively it represented something unrealistic and unattainable by a human. Humans always come with flaws...

That's one random tangent for the day...the other has arisen out of real time to myself to reflect on my life to date... it's my new list of personal laws:

1. Exercise Tolerance especially with those things that especially irk me (in your face extroverts and girrrrls being the main two LOL I'm not going to bother trying too hard anymore to understand either...maybe next incarnation?)

2. Set and keep Boundaries.

3. Purge the Past.

4. Look after ME....first!

A Thought...

Happiness is an inner state...it can only be found within.

Ja :)

In case you like to know about my mundane matters...Trip to dentist in store for me today-eeek!

What I'm feeling grateful for...

1. The presence of a breeze.
2. My Yarrow Plant which happens to have very effective anti-mosquito properties :)
3. Good friends and Good conversations.
4. Mature Souls, Old Souls and the Spiritually Enlightened.
5. All the delicious fruits available in Summer.
6. Time to myself to breathe.
7. The dulcet tones of Morrissey.
8. That I'm feeling motivated to tackle all those things that I've been procrastinating...

Postcard from...Home.

Home. So relaxing. Just finished my tai chi class and feel as loose as a jellyfish- doubting if I even have bones! A hot guy just yelled at another driver who failed to stop for me at a zebra crossing...it's all about "community" law here...so civilised ;)

The sign at the Hippie Shop today reads: "There are 3 ingredients to the good life...Learning, Earning and Yearning".

A cool breeze cuts through the balmy warmth just enough so it is comfortably pleasant and unsticky. I'm sitting under a canopy dining alfresco on some steaming wok-fresh thick-cut noodles...my favourite!

In front, a father watches while his two young sons take turns divebombing off the jetty...

As the sun prepares to bed down for another night, pelicans bask on the lake soaking up its last rays, and I find myself dreaming of the day I'll be back...

This "adopted home town" is truly an inspiration- it is the one place I never fail to remember to Enjoy The Present. Cheers :)

It's Been a Year.

Today culminated in a really looooong 300km 6 hour round trip to complete a "ritual" that started Friday. I happened to pass by my old town and felt a profound sense of Yearning... SOOOOO HOMESICK and SAD I couldn't still be there! But I felt better doing my trademark seaside walking meditation...walking along with the waves lapping my feet and sand squelching beneath my toes and ambient music in my ears with the sound of waves crashing in the background....is that Perfect Happiness or what?!!

In any case, Conclusion...

Attachment is Evil. As is Mushy Sentimentality. Blargh.

Tomorrow, a shorter trip, lunch and a class of Tai Chi with some uni friends...wow how refined is that?