Friday, January 30, 2009
2. My Yarrow Plant which happens to have very effective anti-mosquito properties :)
3. Good friends and Good conversations.
4. Mature Souls, Old Souls and the Spiritually Enlightened.
5. All the delicious fruits available in Summer.
6. Time to myself to breathe.
7. The dulcet tones of Morrissey.
8. That I'm feeling motivated to tackle all those things that I've been procrastinating...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Anyway my feeling is this- if you haven't heard from your fairweather friend in 1-2 years at times when they knew you were in need after they so boldly leaned on you when they were going through a rough patch, well what right do they have to reconnect with you just because it suits them?
Basically, the way I see it is, if we had no contact for a year or more (for no fair reason), then you aren't worth me investing my time in. After all people only have so much time and energy and I'd rather be investing that in others rather than attempting to rekindle ashes that have long gone cold just because the timing suits you!
Hmm, this is gonna seem icy but I'm sick of being screwed over - so I'm taking a stand! I'm not even going to inconvenience myself with awkwardness by even bothering to be polite. In my books Fairweather Friends are so lowly they don't even deserve common courtesy....
Hmm so much for being Zen- that's about the only time you can unleash the typical unforgiving Scorpio stereotype out of me- it's just recurred way too many times for me to be able to turn a blind eye to and always the same selfish people! I am always there for my friends no matter what so I only have room in my life for the few people who can treat me with the same decency and respect.
The Scorpion Lady has spoken :)
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Does anybody have good tips on how to store/organise/upload/sort everything effectively? Currently I am working within a Windows Vista environment with a very backward version of Photoshopand a pretty slow internet connection and it's REALLY REALLY time wasting.
One thing I especially want to know is: is there some program which can automatically convert big picture files to small ones? I only know if you email them via outlook it will offer to do it for you, apart from that no ideas...
anyway I'm just a little distraught because I lost the file for possibly the most award winning black and white portrait I have ever taken! GRRRRR...what was that again- ATTACHMENT being one of the roots of evil stress!!!! Grrrrr.
But really what do you think is the best? Should I back everything up to hard drive or start burning pictures to CDs- what have you found is most effective?
2. Material/physical attachment
3. Spiritual Ignorance
I don't know but I like when stress becomes so...concise! It just seems so tiny and manageable when you look at it at a definitive list of merely 5 things.
In any case, I'm not stressed in the least - I'm just a big fan of lists^^
So I felt like making a Gratitude List for today:
1. The ambient weather is very pleasant and enjoyable...cool but not cold, airy but not too breezy, air pollution levels low...I actually could sleep/rest yesterday...this is weather where I actually feel grateful because I can finally have a productive day- I can actually function^^!
2. There are no insects biting me and itch of the previous ones I can't feel.
3. FREEDOM. Or that I feel incredibly Free at least.
4. And of course how could I forget Angelic and Divine company :)
Anyhow I think the chaos which manifested in my house is finally gradually being resolved slowly but surely...I now have a reasonably clear living room, bathroom, desk and kitchen...just another 2/3s of the house left to organise...anyhow with the weather as agreeable as it is I'm feeling positive this week...and also feeling optimistic about getting some effective study done...
Why can't it be like this everyday?!
Monday, January 26, 2009
The Year of the Ox came in for me amidst the sounds of great merriment and lively chatter as well as an overwhelming feeling of overtaxed bellies. My favourite new creation from the chefs was some exotic eggplant tasting gigantic flower deep fried in batter which were absolutely delicious!
I was really tired this year...I had to cheat to welcome in the new year by playing some cutesy PSP game Roku Loku(?) with lively animation and music to keep my brain awake so that my eyes could remain open...Yet more evidence that I am getting OLD :p
...oh, it also happens to be AUSTRALIA DAY today-Yay for a public holiday Long Weekend!!!
...Sorry I couldn't resist with the following:
To Celebrate this Day, I am sending you each a virtual representation of what is this arguably this country's most invaluable contribution to the gastronomic world!!! *LoL
Saturday, January 24, 2009
ARGHHHHHHHH The HEAT is Driving Me Insane! I've never felt this bad due to weather before. I can't sleep, I can't function! For days on end now! In this apartment it seems it's constantly 40 degrees and 99% humidity. I don't know how much longer I can take of this. My only slight consolation is that because I don't have to share I can walk around naked...however that just means a few square metres of vulnerable target for all the hungry mozzies around....so now I itch too...
Maybe it is the Universe telling me I'm not studying hard enough and I should spend more hours in the library...AIR CONDITIONING...Neeeeeeeeeed. Argh.
In the desperate need to find cooler environments I dragged my anti-social self out and met up a couple of friends. No major revelations except....wow...over the past 2 years or so where I was so intensely absorbed in the high drama of me & Gs lives, everybody else had been making steady undramatic progress. And I couldn't believe it- M is all grown up! Mature!!! WOW. This must sound pretty patronising -sorry- but as usual it's 100% honesty here- it really blew my mind LOL. (Anyway it is well known how it takes the less fair gender a little while to catch up to the maturity of the fairer gender, which is why it is a good idea for them to date younger women ;)
Later the other noteworthy mention was visiting the beach late at night and eating icecream ;)- I really enjoy the beach at night because it is empty and the stars are shining. The surface of the sand was full of moulded dips and mounds and it was not unlike a crater moon surface- it would have been cool to video. I think I'm turning into a crazy hermit beach lady- that is the only thing I like doing lately and I get major withdrawal issues if I don't.
Anyway that's all for me- the next 3 days are going to be super social so I need to take my leave now LOL
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
I'm not proud.
It's all just too easy to rest on one's laurels and soak up the privileged view but while you're slacking off the whole world is working hard ready to demote you and show you how untalented you really are...
I've totally forgotten so much - of the basics! and there is just so much I need to know but don't...so I'm really going to make a concerted effort to stop squandering this precious time and get productive...first stopping indulging so many distracting and unproductive time-sucking pursuits which can wait for when I am old and wrinkled with real leisure time...
The other resolution I've smacked into myself is to no longer waste time associating with people who are limited by their narrow-mindedness...these are typically all the people who also seem to be rampant with "issues" and lead depressed and dysfunctional lives...I wonder why? LOL
All I know...I don't need it to rub off on me thanks!
My cousin has gone nuts about these dolls buying them all up for all the special women in her life...Ever the tomboy, I've never liked dolls in the slightest and hence I think the last one I received was probably when I was age 7!
These Kimmidolls however, are curiously...ingratiating :) This is the one I now have...LOL which I thought was nice timing considering how "Zen" I have become with age... I thought it was cool to reflect during a conversation I had with G about "uptight-ness" and to realise that is amazingly no longer me...^^
It was a great 3 day weekend...2 days of me time and one day of me&otherpeople time...just the right balance for once! Still my favourite part-as always- was sitting on the golden sand watching the sun set and the waves roll while eating dinner :)
There are several things I'm looking forward to in the coming week or so- first is that it's Chinese New Year this coming weekend and that just means feasting, feasting, feasting, oh and a brief trip out of the city :-D!!! The day before hanging with the girls, catching up on all the movies we never had time to see, more eating and general "girls stuff" (should be interesting??!).
I'm also looking forward to starting my Mandarin Classes and getting back into tai chi and yoga...And indulging the sweet tooth(I only just realised I know a head pastry chef at a really upmarket restaurant and typically, name dropping means everything in their business LOL!)
I'm also going to look into the feasibility of squeezing in a seaside camping trip before I let the shackles of my studies rebind me...oh & M yeah maybe we can do Friday arvo too...if it's crap and boring and we're still hungry, you can shout me dinner ;) and we can share our latest crazy travel stories!!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Now I realise I'm tired. And it's unnecessary. A friend of mine planted in my mind the musing on "givers" and "takers" the other day. Which camp do you fall in?
I think it strange how we feel so much guilt taking time for ourselves. Spending time on yourself is one of the best investments you can make. We shouldn't need to feel so guilty about it...
There are so many things I need to do...for me! So tata for a bit...
Friday, January 16, 2009
Above all though, it makes it very hard to relate to people my own age.
There are so many things that cannot be explained, they must be understood. Yet you can't just tell that to the hot headed arrogance of youth- they need to learn for themselves. As parents you want to prevent your kids from making the same mistakes as you and to profit from the wisdom you have gained through your life experiences. However of course we don't listen, we want to learn for ourselves and probably what we learn the hard way is a better way to learn anyway.
I am feeling very old, very zen, very meditative lately- like an old grandma with the wrinkles of time under her eyes staring into the far distance.
Which is probably why I am so at ease with older people and even the truly elderly- there is just that understanding which I can't find with people who look like me. I am like a 60 year old stuck in the guise of a twenty something year old. It is kind of frustrating.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I've actually been pretty busy and been entertaining heaps of different 'possibilities' as well as trying to indulge my various hobbies(I have way too many)...maybe blogging has gotten old and I've done enough introspection and self-reflection that it will now take more of a backseat...
I was out and about and happened to bump into a guy I met about a year ago briefly and then met briefly about 6 months later and now as circumstances have it I think I'll be seeing a whole lot more of him whether I wanted to or not! It kind of made me chuckle because it is yet another blatant reminder of how for me things just happen or don't depending on whether conditions are favourable at the time. There are few people I meet and can mutually get along with really well straight away and know I can be good friends with, so I'm grateful for this unexpected surprise...and the coolest thing is he will be my first musical real life friend locally too...live gigs here I come! I have to admit since my travels, I had been feeling a bit sorry for myself when my last decent friend connection flew back to the other side of the world...and just last night I was complaining to my overseas musician friend how I have no local music afficionado friends here...I guess I'm still bathing in the warmth of this angel- genie granting wishes- kind of light...it's nice^^ ^^ ^^! (And yes the triple numbers continue :)
In any case I have regained some enthusiasm to get back into my career stuff and my latest ambitious project is to start learning Chinese Mandarin, (at least for a herbal&medical context), hopefully with some regular weekly lessons from my parents...it's actually really hard for me but you gotta do what you gotta do...the first thing I need to do is clear my study room and desk which had over the past few months become a receptacle for a giant mountain of accumulated crap....yikes! Not looking forward to it...
Also getting back onto the health improvement thing - finally got back to yoga last night, bought loads of fresh food today, menu planning and cleared out my overzealous pantry and going back to the time sucking task of boiling herbal brews for daily consumption...
Monday, January 12, 2009
In any case, Conclusion...
Attachment is Evil. As is Mushy Sentimentality. Blargh.
Tomorrow, a shorter trip, lunch and a class of Tai Chi with some uni friends...wow how refined is that?
ergh...why is it so hard to find them?
Next two days will be heavily commuting- making 2 consecutive day trips "back home"! This hardly makes any logical practical sense but I don't know it's going to happen anyway. It must be the city driving me insane.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I find life so fascinating- especially for me...it doesn't seem to matter how much effort I put in, when something is not meant to be, it just doesn't happen...even with all the best intentions and planning when it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be!
And other things...happen almost effortlessly...it is almost like you come to a cross section and divine powers either put the boomgate down or raise it sending you along your merry way- well that is how my life has always been!
And now I've learnt to be flexible and I trust in these divine powers so I just go whichever way I am sent. Before I had all these rigid pre-decided plans eons in advance so when I couldn't carry them out to plan it caused me great angst and frustration.
In any case in the past year or so the "light" has been coming to me...and I'm starting to understand how my path has been so unique and also that my life is unravelling as it should :)
Friday, January 9, 2009
I was walking around the city at night looking at the tasteless fashions, tasteless overkill on makeup, listening to the unattractive retching of women throwing up on the street in full view of everyone walking past as their boyfriends held their hair out of the way and it was only 10pm! and passing by many oversexed yobbos and fearing for my safety.
That's what Sydney to me has become. I have but one more area of this country to "test out" before knowing where I aim to escape to. Although I think I probably like the fact that Europe and its people are so cultured relative to us Down Under, nothing beats this clean air, beautiful environment and wide open space...the problem with cities apart from them cooking my immune system electromagnetic radiation wise is EVERYBODY smokes and its just like being stuck in one big chimney where I inevitably get sick from my chemical sensitivity...
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The city just does nothing for me except transform me into a five toed SLOTH....because I'm constantly tiiiiiired (think: energy totally sapped by electromagnetic radiation) and uninspired...I just don't feel like doing anything productive! I also don't appreciate the heat or muggy stickiness of Summer here which in this age of global warming is often annoyingly interspersed with wintry blasts of gusty chills or sudden downpours of heavy rain.
Maybe I just need to give myself a good smack and hold myself to Discipline but then I find myself justifying this particular rural stint with it being "value adding" to my future career prospects...What to do? What to do? argh. Isn't it nice to have the luxury of choice? For that I am truly grateful!!! Maybe I should just enjoy the luxury of not having to work for the relatively short time it is available...although this would mean not being able to travel, this is probably being more realistic as I would likely need to head straight into training with a mentor after I'm done with the studies.
I guess I can always go travelling overseas repeatedly in smaller trips when I've earnt some decent money and strengthened my physical constitution, rather than do the whole lengthy backpacker odyssey through umpteen countries which will no doubt be skimming the surface and very tiring....and plus the dollar looks like it will be very crappy for some time yet and I don't know how long I could last physically without decent sleep!
Sorry, just talking to myself.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
It started with yesterday afternoon, a man randomly came and knocked directly on my door and came and gave me money to park his car in my garage for a few days...cool money just walked right up to my door, no effort on my part, I didn't even need to give him a key or anything-he could have just parked it in there without even asking let alone paying and I wouldn't have noticed! I wouldn't have taken the money except what with my whole lost key fiasco and needing a camera lens, I thought I could definitely do with the extra cash...
Today, I was out and about and waiting for the locksmith to call me at 230pm as arranged resigning myself to the fact that 5.5 days later the keys were goner. Whaddya know?
Is this Blessed Synchronicity or WHAT?!! At that exact time when the locksmith was supposed to call, I got a call from a woman instead saying she had my keys!!!!
I couldn't believe my "luck"! And the surprising thing is, the locksmith never ever did end up calling! So not only did I avoid having to shell out for a locksmith, I also didn't have to purchase a new set of keys- wooohoooo!
Furthermore, when I went to ring on the old lady's doorbell she wasn't there, I encountered 3 different random old ladies walking around who smiled at me yet somehow I knew which lady had my keys and had no hesitation saying to one...are you the lady that has my keys?!
Bizarre, there is something definitely acting on an inexplicable level of consciousness for me lately!
Apart from that the other happiness or "achievement" for today is that I was able to smile for the first time at a random stranger! This "smiling business" has always been a sore point with me in the past....I just can't do it!
Usually if anybody in the city smiles it will be some dodgy random man so obviously I won't smile back. I've never been able to smile at someone off my own bat before...today I finally smiled at a random stranger....a groundbreaking FIRST! (And I survived- not only that, it was actually quite pleasant!)
I realise the reason I don't smile at people is that nobody in the city inspires me to want to smile at them but today I saw this old white haired man with a wrinkled face but crisp shirt, belt and pants- reminded me of Gepetto in Pinocchio- carrying this HUGE black Nikon camera...obviously this was so cute it made me really smile and he smiled back with twinkly eyes like we shared some secret between the two of us ;)
So that was the last 24 hours...wow, in light of the last 2 days or so...I wonder what tomorrow brings?!!!
And p.s just for the record, the triple numbers just keep coming!
With my unusual life experiences to date, even if it wasn't innately inherent, it was bound to happen anyway...LOL
The other day it came up again when I was detailing more future planned adventures to my mum...she interrupted with...
"Why do you have to do these things? Why are you so different to the rest...why can't you be more like the others? More...Normal?! "
When I was younger, sure things like things didn't make me feel too good...rejection from your own mother! *sheesh*
But some people are just conventional- they like to follow the crowd. That would be my mother. Any deviance from what everyone else is doing plants a seed of Fear in people like her. People like that need to loosen up and appreciate that everybody is different. How boring would the world be if everybody were the same? I appreciate that even in grass there are many shades of greens and yellows and blacks and reds, all different textures and smells, inhabited by different kinds of animals.
I am glad I've finally reached a stage where I can be comfortable to be Me...
And the way I see it is...
Why would I want to be just "Normal", when I can be "Special"? ;)
p.s this is the funniest thing I have read in the news for a while!
Monday, January 5, 2009
It's been so hot lately, I've been neglecting proper diet the past couple of days primarily surviving on my addiction to Red Rock's Honey Mustard Kettle Chips and fruit.
Here we have German Ritter with whole hazelnuts, Dutch Droste orange and Madagascan cocoa pastilles. The only normal one left I need to "research" is the Swedish Marabou.
I'm actually going to cook properly tonight to make amends for all the junk eating...I'm feeling like ASIAN food and RICE so this is what I'm toying with in my head...Clay Pot Rice with pork mince, snake beans, black bean sauce, ginger, Chinese wine, swiss brown mushrooms and maybe a few ground dried shrimp....Mmmmm sounds good to me!
On another note sure enough I had another "triple number" moment today...but in relation to someone else(by accident)...I really think being attuned to reiki must open some kind of "psychic door" to an alternate consciousness...this last year or so has just been way too interesting!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
My life path number is rather special....the "master" number 11. I don't know much about numerology but this article mentioned how the number 11 is both a heightened/amplified version of the number 1 but also indicative of the number 2 since 1+1=2.
Some key words regarding these number associations JUMPED out at me...Purity(my name!), positivity and pure energy, striking a BALANCE (always a struggle for me!), higher ideals, refinement, invention, fulfillment, vision, equality, justice, duality....reflective, thoughtful, intuitive? That's me!!
I was also fascinated by the meanings of 3s and 4s since I most often see in daily life the number 444 which has always spooked me- this is actually drawing my attention to the need to be GROUNDED! I often also see 333 which I've always liked and always welcome when I see...this is drawing my attention to the need to be able to express my CREATIVITY!
This is also very coincidental because someone asked me my New Year's Resolution and I said I'm keeping it plain and simple this year, "I just want to survive my studies this year successfully and try and achieve a more balanced life."
In the end the author concludes that people who are associated with the number eleven are very psychically connected- no kidding! WOW.
edit: wow the revelations keep coming today...I found out that my favourite colour of the past few years - GREEN- is the colour of balance! Gotta Love Synchronicity!!!
edit: post Caroline's comment... *wow* Angels have been speaking to Me??? All This Time??!!! Here is more info on Angelic triple numbers...
On another note (which I was going to do as its own post but I'll just add here instead...), in the last month or two I have noticed ALOT (like more than 1 or 2 years worth!) Rainbows spontaneously popping up in My Life! Here is the latest one which came to me on New Year's Eve...
Rainbows following me around?? Surely, that's gotta be a good sign!! No wonder I feel so positive about the year ahead...I am Truly Blessed!! *:-D*
Saturday, January 3, 2009
And in the interim before I realised, one of my scumbag city neighbours ended up PILFERING it! Or so it seems...
So, I had a fun time waiting outside my door until Dear Old Dad arrived with a spare. So anyway, all engagements this weekend had to be cancelled while I stay home to guard my house until I resolve the locks on my door and get a new security key which is going to be a protracted and expensive process...sigh.
Other than that, feeling especially lazy, can't be bothered entertaining my usual fervent blogaholism or uploading new pics. Spending the next few days cleaning, watching films and cooking some decent meals(I miss rice!)
...I need some quality hermit time to recover.
Friday, January 2, 2009
I FINALLY got access to My Flickr account after months of not being able to log on...and in less then 24 hours I got a request from a public news service to use one of the photos I uploaded!!
Ooh how exciting...
But even better...I should be reunited with my accidentally abandoned in the middle of nowhere favourite jeans etc today!...fingers crossed.