A Point of Difference

(The only problem with living in gorgeous natural surrounds is that when it comes time for the trees to get a trim it is a VERY NOISY sleep defying procedure...between the horsepower revolutions of the electric chainsaw to the *whoosh!* as the thundering vibrations of large branches fall and hit the ground...)

I recently came across a character so refreshing I felt genuinely compelled and drawn for no other reason than uniqueness and a MUCH NEEDED 'breath of fresh air'...a point of difference amongst the stock standard majority culture of this isolated backwater.

Recently I felt so frustrated in this country with its trademark chauvinistic treatment of women to its low standards, anti intellectualism and bordering racist treatment of ethnic minorities...I remember learning about our country being a "melting pot" in primary school... rather than a melting pot it is increasingly pockets of different ethnicities all co-existing side by side and failing to have any flow of discourse between neighbours...breeding resentment especially if that culture wants to practise and preserve its indigenous traditions. I think the problem needs to be approached with a healthy balance...that all ethnic groups should have the freedom to practise their culture such as religious festivals and whatnot that doesn't violate the laws of that country however they should still care to make an effort with the mother tongue and integrate with the rest of the residents of their host country...

So as I've exited a globally flavoured educated intellectual context I have more than noticed the external population here have a really strong reaction to me- they either like or dislike me immensely...I have the ability to polarise populations! LOL Basically I think it stands as this...anybody who appreciates uniqueness and individualism will side with me but those who feel threatened by anything that is not status quo and need a generic robot standard will find me very challenging because I refuse to conform. Perhaps why I well deserve the "anti-conformist" and "rebel" label my folks pinned on me at a young age...

When I was younger perhaps it was more a case of "rebel without a cause" but as I grow older and feel incredibly oppressed by the dominant dissonant culture I feel a need to assert my right to be different and resentment towards people wanting to push me into boxes just so they feel more comfortable about themselves! And more than ever I feel a need to preserve my standards...and that the way forward is to push boundaries and always aim towards higher things. Not to stay complacent and degenerate...So there's definitely a clash of values happening here...

I guess when one's character defies all common and expected norms and sits at the far end of the bell curve and is not mute...yeah that invites a lot of arrows fired your way. I guess insecurity is a normal part of biological evolution...and a healthy characteristic of self preservation and survival instinct...so at the end of the day ALIENS, UNITE! lol well either that or leave like everybody I actually like seems to...

It's Bad Manners...

DUDE! stop rubbing it in!

I find myself getting offended that while I sink under a mountain of work and deadlines and STRESS, my mate on the other side of the globe is living it up including attending gig(probably with free ticket!) of one of MY musical heroes, listening to MY theme song live AND getting pics taken with her(STONED OR NOT!)

How very damn rude.

You so better introduce me to these mates with all the muso connections when I'm over there! OWE. I so want to make you eat live baby octopus....RIGHT...NOW.

Another day down...phew! ...and a reasonably interesting one at that...
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Random question: is it narcissistic and egoistic to only want custom made stuff?

It's like once you have custom made ANYTHING, it is pain...PAIN... to have to adorn with/own mass produced junk! Happened to meet a jewellery designer whose work I like...tempted to ask him to make me a piece, with me as a co-designer. There is something just so attractive about making individualised creative anything. I'm so tempted to accept an offer of custom made wood furniture except who knows where I'll be on the globe this time next year?! Also, lacking in any skills myself and not made of money, how on earth do I pay for these things?! Needles or Herbs anyone?

It's all a Matter of Perception ;)

There's no doubt that I've always been "The Black Sheep" of the family....Hands Down.

With my unusual life experiences to date, even if it wasn't innately inherent, it was bound to happen anyway...LOL

The other day it came up again when I was detailing more future planned adventures to my mum...she interrupted with...

"Why do you have to do these things? Why are you so different to the rest...why can't you be more like the others? More...Normal?! "

When I was younger, sure things like things didn't make me feel too good...rejection from your own mother! *sheesh*

But some people are just conventional- they like to follow the crowd. That would be my mother. Any deviance from what everyone else is doing plants a seed of Fear in people like her. People like that need to loosen up and appreciate that everybody is different. How boring would the world be if everybody were the same? I appreciate that even in grass there are many shades of greens and yellows and blacks and reds, all different textures and smells, inhabited by different kinds of animals.

I am glad I've finally reached a stage where I can be comfortable to be Me...

And the way I see it is...

Why would I want to be just "Normal", when I can be "Special"? ;)

Cheers :)

p.s this is the funniest thing I have read in the news for a while!

Different.

Since about the age of 11 or 12 I've always known I'm "different". I figured it's a common enough self-perception around that age and I figured it's just something I would "grow out of" after my teens...alas so many years later...I feel just as "different" as ever!!!

Anyway that thought just came up when someone randomly brought up the premise that everybody "puts on a social front".

The "everybody" part I disagree with but I had noticed back in the big wide world again that facades are a very common way of life but I always just attributed it to people who lacked self confidence, or occasionally people acting appropriate to a context/situation, rather than...Sadly, Social Front is The Norm! :-p

I disagreed because I know for me, no matter what the case, I never do the whole "facade" thing...I think putting on a facade is a totally different concept to having more reservation with showing aspects of your character in reference to context/appropriateness/familiarity...but then I realised...not putting on a social front: THAT is more of an abnormality!

Just cos I don't do them AT ALL, people who do facades really irk me possibly because generally I see straight through them so I never understand the point - probably why I'm not the biggest fan of people...

maybe that is The common thread of all people who love animals? ...at least you always know you're getting real and sincere interaction.

In any case, I guess the fact that social fronts are rife in society and the norm, it just shows how much emphasis humans put on having social acceptance.

In any case, now that my family has "allowed me" to become the adult I am, I realise WOW I don't just feel old inside secretly anymore, I act it too- I feel a lot more in common with my interactions with people older or much, much younger but not my own age. I think when you've been chronically ill from youth you are way more advanced in maturity because you possess a Life Perspective people your own age just don't- hence I feel kinda bad but often when I interact with people in my own age group I find myself abhorring my snobbery of thought..."what babies!"

S, some kind of soul friend on the opposite side of the world who the Universe granted when I expressed a wish for a penpal I'll still be writing to at 60 ;)

also feels similarly displaced (more from being in a long term relationship from youth which is another premature maturer and a foundation of which I also share), she says she generally can't stand people in our age group cos the things they talk about, their concerns just seem so trivial. I have to agree there...in any case I am SO GRATEFUL for the minority of mature interactions I do get...it keeps me sane and still having a love of humans!

I don't know, if I could turn back time...maybe it would have been good to be young and ignorant and grow up normally, rather than be such an old soul in such a young looking body from such a young age- cos really, it just doesn't work well with all the preconceived ideas humans assign to age...