Western Medicine is failing us and bugs are getting the better of us :P

Just my thought as it seems almost all the cityslickers I know (who have never been sickly people) seem to be getting ill with that this and the other...

I had a good friend who I haven't literally spoken to in over a YEAR actually call me after sending text messages (the like of which I had never seen from her before) ending in...Help!

Yes it seems that the superbugs are getting the better of us as we step further and further away from our natural selves and the way man was supposed to interact with his environment and each other causing a whole scourge-epidemic of health and other problems never before seen at these kinds of levels...while man disrespects the planet and even his own body like he does the world will continue to spiral in a downward fashion...

Disclaimer...western medicine is commendable on certain aspects eg surgery/emergency medical intervention and equipment mediated diagnosis, medical science gene/cell based therapies, however on the whole they are totally helpless to be able to treat a wide range of health problems seeing as their salve seems to revolve around that zillion dollar pharmaceutical industry which while it may alleviate that pain over there it will create a new pain and disease process somewhere else! And while they fail to recognise the body is a HOLISTIC interactional dynamic of a living thing their medicine will closely resemble a dummy covered in bandaid plasters!

So yeah on the whole isolated and remote country bumpkins should feel pretty damn blessed to enjoy relatively better health cos of their healthy living environs and healthier lifestyle practices! cheers bumpkins! :D

Now this is a seriously disturbing thought...

Not yet half way through, and it's not just that the going is tough...

Since I embarked on my studies with the idealistic "I'm going to to save the world with..." plus I want my own career, my own business etc, I've been living a very blinkered one track-minded and limited version of life...

Foregoing several opportunities, making quite a few sacrifices, turning lots of blind eyes in the process...cos God forbid if anything take me off my track!

My first semblance of a wake up call came in January via a supernatural meeting of sorts, la la la although I didn't miss that it was Huge, because I'm anti-confrontational at my core, I still chose to ignore it...then recently the health scares, that was the second major wake up call...and I think THAT'S the one that really kicked in(cos that is something all too familiar I can relate to)...

So having had Time to reflect on these wake-up calls, I realised what I am living is not really living, it's merely existing and for what? For a career! Hmmm, somehow with this new mindset, the maths doesn't really seem to add up...

A health caring, life-saving career is all fine and well and noble but as older, wiser K :) pointed out, you can't help others unless you can help yourself...and with my ongoing medical issues, I've pretty much been near killing myself to try and achieve what I thought has always been my ultimate dream...to have a purposeful and fulfilling career and run a successful business.

But I noticed, perhaps I already inherently have in my character the capacity to help a lot of people in a big way...and perhaps a further tool is not necessary since isn't that all that matters in The Big Picture??

an aside, the number of random depressed/people with issues I seem to have attracted into my life in the past couple of months especially has really been completely uncanny! And I think although I did use tcm as a tool, I think the tools that really made the difference was more my big mouthed logical psychobabble and my care...

I don't know maybe it's the wisdom you get with having lived longer...but having those two wakeup calls, I'm starting to realise maybe I was wrong...in the Grand Scheme of LIFE, career is probably not that big a deal in terms of what makes you Happy long-term! In the case of healthcaring, it can actually be quite stressful being surrounded by sick and miserable people with their negative vibes all the time! And...Life is short!

So....I dunno. We'll see...I guess there'll be good scope for really honest soulsearching within myself when I'm in the middle of woop woop with nothing but the sky and the grass to distract me....that's if I pass through this semester and still have the option to choose(!!)

Control freak tendancies even for your own life are soooo irrational but that is the nature of the human beast: we're imperfect beings.

Different.

Since about the age of 11 or 12 I've always known I'm "different". I figured it's a common enough self-perception around that age and I figured it's just something I would "grow out of" after my teens...alas so many years later...I feel just as "different" as ever!!!

Anyway that thought just came up when someone randomly brought up the premise that everybody "puts on a social front".

The "everybody" part I disagree with but I had noticed back in the big wide world again that facades are a very common way of life but I always just attributed it to people who lacked self confidence, or occasionally people acting appropriate to a context/situation, rather than...Sadly, Social Front is The Norm! :-p

I disagreed because I know for me, no matter what the case, I never do the whole "facade" thing...I think putting on a facade is a totally different concept to having more reservation with showing aspects of your character in reference to context/appropriateness/familiarity...but then I realised...not putting on a social front: THAT is more of an abnormality!

Just cos I don't do them AT ALL, people who do facades really irk me possibly because generally I see straight through them so I never understand the point - probably why I'm not the biggest fan of people...

maybe that is The common thread of all people who love animals? ...at least you always know you're getting real and sincere interaction.

In any case, I guess the fact that social fronts are rife in society and the norm, it just shows how much emphasis humans put on having social acceptance.

In any case, now that my family has "allowed me" to become the adult I am, I realise WOW I don't just feel old inside secretly anymore, I act it too- I feel a lot more in common with my interactions with people older or much, much younger but not my own age. I think when you've been chronically ill from youth you are way more advanced in maturity because you possess a Life Perspective people your own age just don't- hence I feel kinda bad but often when I interact with people in my own age group I find myself abhorring my snobbery of thought..."what babies!"

S, some kind of soul friend on the opposite side of the world who the Universe granted when I expressed a wish for a penpal I'll still be writing to at 60 ;)

also feels similarly displaced (more from being in a long term relationship from youth which is another premature maturer and a foundation of which I also share), she says she generally can't stand people in our age group cos the things they talk about, their concerns just seem so trivial. I have to agree there...in any case I am SO GRATEFUL for the minority of mature interactions I do get...it keeps me sane and still having a love of humans!

I don't know, if I could turn back time...maybe it would have been good to be young and ignorant and grow up normally, rather than be such an old soul in such a young looking body from such a young age- cos really, it just doesn't work well with all the preconceived ideas humans assign to age...

Destination China 2010

So I saw an old "expert" Chinese TCM Doctor today- one that I even needed an interpreter to see(!)

She gave me hope that I'll be healthy enough to go to China for further training :-D

Basically because I've been sick for so long the western washed down version of TCM is useless on me- ie all these powdered granules and patent pill shortcuts are just a dripping tap solution...I need the Real Deal: the bad black herbal brews comprised of a specifically tailored formula which exists only in the expert mind...the ones that turn your teeth yellow and are a challenge in itself to down even when you hold your nose!

On the upside, the sales girls were saying that this doctor makes your skin *beautiful* LOL

So anyway I've reprioritised and revised my goals slightly...so although I still dream of having my own business by 35 I'm focussing on the shorter term future first...going to China (flying a plane, living in shocking air pollution and dirt) to get specialist training in herbs...and possibly even get 100% cured :)

So my Priorities in order...1.HEALTH 2.STUDIES

Apart from seeing the expert doctor today in my health crackdown I also joined an organic food cooperative...

So that's it: each week will be an exercise in discipline and commitment and will definitely test my perseverence levels!
Having the herbal consultations and having to boil the brews to drink every day is very time consuming and pretty costly which is normal if you're on medication EVERY DAY... there is also yoga and qigong each week...I think the worst part though is sticking to a strict Chinese medicine diet- ie no spices, no caffeine...minimal to zero chocolate : (...basically minimise grease, sweet, no deep fried etc and the other challenge- sleeping early and getting sufficient hours rest!

So time wise being strictly healthy I will have to devote at least 20 hours solely to health maintenance and improvement- that's a big commitment. Cost wise I think it's probably an extra $100/week.

So something's gotta go...I guess I have to wean myself off blogging...and definitely cut out social life completely during semester - the people I see in the course of daily life will have to suffice.

Of course I will need lady luck on my side too so that everything runs smoothly and I don't suffer any further setbacks.

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do...to achieve your goals....will be a good exercise in developing discipline and mental toughness(especially when it comes to having to drink that stuff twice a day-Yuck!!!)

Smokers should live in Smoker Compounds...

I was gonna say a follow on something but I'll exercise some restraint...Negative vibes can only generate more...

The ridiculous shared ventilation with chainsmokers on all sides who mysteriously only ever seem to leave the house for food or more smokos and who don't feel the need to sleep at 330am on a weeknight is still driving me insane. Insane and desperate enough to start considering all manner of only-someone-Desperate-would-do options. Notably moving back to the island permanently and others too embarrassing to openly admit publically...

Toyboy: if I get my filthy rich father to buy me a place by the beach with unlimited fresh air, will you be my "girlfriend"?

Far out, even had to hesitate in answering that one: sheesh, once I start getting that desperate and one-eyed for fresh breathable air, who knows what I'm capable of?!

In any case, I was just wondering...

Why is WEED illegal when cigarettes aren't?

I just don't get it.

With the 5000 or so chemicals and additives and CRAP in processed cigarettes these days and well evidenced addiction and adverse health effects costing society zillions in healthcare costs...it just doesn't make sense!

In any case besides feeling sincere pity for me and my plight, Toyboy and Co think this panda-eyed desperate-driven-to-insane me is an incredibly funny experience to witness.

Mainly because I become brash, assertive, irrational and fearsomely uninhibited...kinda like some people when they get sloshed...well I AM really pissed...Off!!! (And incredibly sleep deprived)

Hopefully will be able to crash quarterly executive committee meeting of the building this week to add my 5c...don't worry I'll aim to take my respectable, reasonable, rational, hopefully articulate and diplomatic but FIRM self along to that...after that will reassess and see the outcome of my blood tests etc.

This constant passive smoking is making me SICK, and health along with a fully functioning body is one thing you just cannot take for granted, cos often once it's lost, you either can't get it back or it requires a God-given miracle and efforts akin to climbing Mt Everest, along with a very fat bank balance and LOTS of time :P

this hellish and insidious nicotine business is making me really 1) stuffed body clock, sleep-deprived and dysfunctional and 2) really, really edgy...I imagine it's like being an addict going cold turkey or something! only a few more days...maybe I can get a job while I'm there and not come back until next semester?? daydreaming as usual...i need to stop procrastinating :P 50% prac exam to prepare which I'll need to pull out of my ass before tuesday...