Doctor Doubts...

I knew from a very young age that I was not cut out to be a normal doctor- the blood and guts, having to cope with people dying on you every day, having to stay calm and react in critical situations.

However, perhaps some things are not so different :P A day in the clinic full of sick people and germs...

and I'm sick as a dog! Maybe I'd be better off as a health writer...

Sometimes when you live by yourself it is possible to go long periods without talking to anybody. When the phone rang and I heard my voice it suddenly hit me that perhaps I was sicker than I realised and my friend concurred with "you sound like you're dying!"

But although I'm heaps run down, I'm still hoping to attend my niece's 2nd b'day party...fingers crossed.

there is so little leeway with my life right now-it's not even about overstudying it is just being able to keep up with the workload and ongoing assessments- this cram course is crazy- 4 normal subjects is like 8 subjects- we're starting to move into that territory where there is absolutely no scope for a life outside of study apart from grocery shopping etc-once I fully accept that I'm restricted to 4 months a year to "enjoy life" that will be easier.

Meanwhile I'm sucking on Autumn Valley Manuka Honey Nuglets which is keeping my throat and spirits in check somewhat, sweet tooth that I am ;)

Destination China 2010

So I saw an old "expert" Chinese TCM Doctor today- one that I even needed an interpreter to see(!)

She gave me hope that I'll be healthy enough to go to China for further training :-D

Basically because I've been sick for so long the western washed down version of TCM is useless on me- ie all these powdered granules and patent pill shortcuts are just a dripping tap solution...I need the Real Deal: the bad black herbal brews comprised of a specifically tailored formula which exists only in the expert mind...the ones that turn your teeth yellow and are a challenge in itself to down even when you hold your nose!

On the upside, the sales girls were saying that this doctor makes your skin *beautiful* LOL

So anyway I've reprioritised and revised my goals slightly...so although I still dream of having my own business by 35 I'm focussing on the shorter term future first...going to China (flying a plane, living in shocking air pollution and dirt) to get specialist training in herbs...and possibly even get 100% cured :)

So my Priorities in order...1.HEALTH 2.STUDIES

Apart from seeing the expert doctor today in my health crackdown I also joined an organic food cooperative...

So that's it: each week will be an exercise in discipline and commitment and will definitely test my perseverence levels!
Having the herbal consultations and having to boil the brews to drink every day is very time consuming and pretty costly which is normal if you're on medication EVERY DAY... there is also yoga and qigong each week...I think the worst part though is sticking to a strict Chinese medicine diet- ie no spices, no caffeine...minimal to zero chocolate : (...basically minimise grease, sweet, no deep fried etc and the other challenge- sleeping early and getting sufficient hours rest!

So time wise being strictly healthy I will have to devote at least 20 hours solely to health maintenance and improvement- that's a big commitment. Cost wise I think it's probably an extra $100/week.

So something's gotta go...I guess I have to wean myself off blogging...and definitely cut out social life completely during semester - the people I see in the course of daily life will have to suffice.

Of course I will need lady luck on my side too so that everything runs smoothly and I don't suffer any further setbacks.

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do...to achieve your goals....will be a good exercise in developing discipline and mental toughness(especially when it comes to having to drink that stuff twice a day-Yuck!!!)

On Depression

It's good to be on holidays. I actually have time to get more than 5 hours sleep (guilt-free!)

So anyway I'm now on this pro-active streak to look after myself properly so hopefully I have the ongoing discipline to keep it up once life gets majorly hectic again- 8 hours sleep when I'm not out, regular sleeping routine, eating routine etc...all those things I neglect when I get busy.

The thing I have to keep reminding myself is when I get run down, I can't even look after myself- so how can I care for others?!

Which brings me to the topic that has also been on my mind lately. Depression. Not me. But some people close to me. In any case, it is really frustrating for me too when those close to me suffer depression. For friends and family, it is like repeatedly hitting your head against a brick wall. And I'm not just talking about short term traumatic event-induced depression, I'm talking about the people who can't see past the black hole for months and months and years and years and who rationally (even from their point of view) have no reason to be depressed...I guess it's what gets classified as clinical depression- they're flat, unreactive and just completely withdrawn and closed off. I find myself always worrying when I don't hear from people like this.

You hear a lot of all those people that just end it yet their friends and family were quite oblivious to the signs...I can't judge but I find it hard to believe that people can just be so unaware. But then again, this world comprises all types- some people are just down right insensitive and don't possess the finely tuned intuitive antennae some of us ;) are blessed with!

Increasingly though it is another side effect of the rat-racey world. People get busy, self absorbed - they forget to check up on how their loved ones are and let's face it, everyone only has a few REALLY CLOSE people in their life who would even bother.

Anyway, along with chronic internal illnesses, I think depression is another area I want to specialise in later on, because it is well known that conventional western medicine is pretty ineffective in this area...sure they can give anti-depressants, mood-stabilizers etc, but after awhile the person develops a tolerance and what happens when they just don't take them and/or try to overdose...you can't just plug a leaky hole and expect the problem to go away. It is for things like this that TCM shines, targeting the root not just the symptom.

Anyhow here are two natural tips that may help improve mood...

>Go out and get some sun! Walking along the beach with the sand squelching between my toes and the wind whipping through my hair always does it for me!

>Try a bit of Yoga- apparently the Sun Salutation(Surya Namaska) is a good way to alleviate depression.

Wishing you a Happy Day! Namaste!*

* this is one definition I found LOL:
'I honour that place in you where the whole Universe resides. And when I am in that place in me and you are in that place in you, there is only one of us.' (Vancouveryoga.com)

It's called PASSION.

Honey, can you leave your work AT HOME?!

LOL, I can already envisage this scenario 10 years from now...family vacation and me having to secretly smuggle the latest TCM offerings into my baggage...

I'm such a TCM nerd - it is always, always on my brain and seems to all pervade my life. Today I went for a job interview at an acupuncturist, and there are two other jobs in the pipeline...also TCM related...and then it occurred to me...hmmm maybe it's not healthy to be so one-eyed- perhaps I should do something OUT OF THE FIELD just for more...balance?

Even in my bag I had a copy of the journal of complementary medicine. I bumped into my friend at the gym while we're both on the bikes

her: "whatcha reading?" "are you doing uni work?"
me: oh no, I'm just reading the latest herbal research on cancer. it's my leisure time I don't have time to read it otherwise.
her: (points out) That's still work!!

Oh really?
LOL

even on my latest holiday...okay so I took some needles, a small selection of raw herbs and patent pills and a tiny TCM reference book up for personal use. Just in case I needed to self medicate...whaddya know- within 1 hour of the plane landing I'm sitting in a hare krishna cafe in a strange town having an in-depth 1 hour conversation over dinner with a total random stranger local about alternative therapies and TCM researching the local scene and making contacts. Sheesh I even impressed myself!

A couple of days later, there turns out to be a documentary on the history of TCM which intrigues my fellow travellers- I get into an animated discussion about my trade. Then I find myself taking pulses, inspecting tongues, palpating acupoints, asking some rather personal but standard questions, giving lifestyle and dietary advice, prescribing liniments and advocating to needlephobes that there's nothing to be scared of complete with passing around samples to prove my point! *LOL

G points out that it's kinda weird...but I'm fully in my element. Somehow all sense of shy reservation or that I'm supposed to be on holiday is gone. I'm in another world...my professional world...MY PASSION :-)

Reflections on TCM...

So it's almost been three months since I've been back into the unique and challenging lifestyle of full time slog...

So I thought it was time for some trademark "reflection"...since it recently came to my attention that I still have another 900(!) or so days to go!!!

That figure is pretty daunting....I'm just so glad that TCM is Such a Passion - I am also incredibly grateful for such wonderful teachers and mentors that are so readily accessible and who have so much dedication in sharing their knowledge - the quality of the teaching here has been absolutely AWESOME- it is so great when you actually get taught by people who are passionate about what they do- it just makes for such a refreshing and amazing learning experience!

Strangely, in contrast to many people who dream of not ever having to work, I've always had an utter craving for a) an autonomous career b) job/career satisfaction and c) that what I do has meaning in that it serves some purpose to the wider community.

I'm SO GLAD I'VE FOUND IT! As I go further and further into the real-life application of my craft, it just gets better and better and more and more satisfying...I love how everyday is unique, interesting and challenging...and how there is so much scope for me to engage in problem solving and creative thought, and the best feeling of all...when you get Results!!!

Recently, despite still being totally enamoured with herbs, I've come around on the acupuncture and am getting quite comfortable and confident in stabbing people and enjoying formulating my own point prescriptions...which is good because it's still more popular and widely accepted within the western community being a drug-free means of therapeutics...and at the end of the day when you're starting out, it's the acupuncture that's going to be paying the bills!


I'm still hating massage though - I don't feel this is likely to change-it's completely physically exhausting and brain numbingly repetitive: I'm still liking the "import big burly men from China" instead idea...

One drawback with the manual therapies though is when you're trying to treat yourself...it gets a little tricky with many points in unreachable areas and you kind of need to be a bit...ambidextrous. So for my own health I still tend to..."self-medicate" using herbs. As I was putting together my herbs this afternoon, it suddenly occurred to me...what a cool and powerful tool it is to have a) access to the herbs and b) this kind of knowledge...it sure beats an hour wait in a GP's waiting room where you inevitably catch some bug and get sicker, just for a simple prescription!

It also occurred to me...hmmm, perhaps in "self-medicating" I am no better than a druggie?!

Because we think of all of this stuff in terms of "tonics" it was never readily apparent that I'm still ingesting...drugs! And...everyone does it...we're such a vitamin and herbal supplement taking culture...now I have a whole new understanding for how our conventional medical system is so drugged up- you can't expect people to be able to actually be awake and functional doing back to back 16 hour shifts at strange hours without a little "help": THAT'S unnatural!!!