Letting Go...Embracing Change.

Invariably I wake up with my muscles all tense...usually stressed out by overly vivid dreams and profound insights that come deep from my subconscious - things I barely had any clue was "a problem" in my conscious. When the muscles are all tense and achey like this from an energetic point of view, qi is not flowing smoothly and there is energy blockage. From certain alternative health view points this blockage could be seen as due to resistance to change.

So a couple of things that might help...

1. Letting go through Breath and Visualisation - measured breathing with a focus on long exhalations...imagine that when you exhale you're breathing out that tension and any "stuck crap"! You can focus your mind on particular areas of your body where there is concentrated tension.

2. Yoga: Fish Pose I'd always found this stance very beneficial but didn't realise why...until I realised it unblocks the throat chakra(the one which is responsible for being able to embrace change). I'd guess it also opens the Heart Chakra somewhat.

3. Get out of your comfort zone! Things that make you feel uncomfortable...they're likely related in some way to areas that need changing/to be shaken up and MOVED...Set yourself a goal of challenging yourself out of your comfort zone by doing something that makes you go "Nooooo!" once a week or so. I'm one up on that last one...I did go to Karaoke last week didn't I!

4. And the active solution would be to GET MOVING with exercise...to release any pent up energy. Boxing class anyone? Devoid of anger issues I think I prefer cycling LOL...anything that is aerobic anyway...walking (unless fast up a steep hill sustained) doesn't count.

5. And the passive solution...Liver tonics...something common at home that's simple could be...peppermint tea, dandelion tea...and if we get more specialised...anything Bupleurum!

H.O I think you often get this "stuck qi" business...and even bother make effort to get it treated...what other suggestions can you add to this list?

The Hermit: A day in the life

You know when sometimes you just don't feel like being sociable and the last thing you want to see is another person or have to talk to them?? Today was especially one of those days.

I just let the phone ring and ring several times...off the hook. And I didn't feel guilty about it! (but now I do...cos I think my mates were a bit irritated. Mind you, they do it to ALL the time, I am just usually more thoughtful and considerate than I felt like being today...

On the upside, in my day of happy solitude, I managed to take a long overdue hot epsom salt soak in the bath...exactly what my muscles needed...inadvertently killed my muscles cos of this "power yoga" crap since my usual yoga teacher went on holidays...NOT FUN.

It was pretty funny though listening to the guy next to me straining so audibly- I have to admit I got worried when I saw his physical condition sweating so much that it dripped out his hair and he was totally strawberry red in the face-it did cross my mind to worry that he might just cark it right there and then and it did inspire me to try and recall some basic CPR...

I really commend the guy for bravery and effort but really, who cares about "face"- you really shouldn't overdo yourself- you can cause more harm than good! This incident really brought home why they make you get a doctor to supply you with a letter of fitness and also make you sign a waiver in case you cark it so they don't get sued later...

When I felt stretched way beyond my capacity I just crumpled on the ground and watched on while everyone else made effort: I have no shame...

And now back to the books- if I deserve one award for anything, it definitely should be for WORLD CLASS PROCRASTINATOR.

While I'm a Knowledge Gathering Whore...

I gotta admit...especially for those born high strung like me: Ignorance is Bliss!

a couple weeks back we had some health scares in the family which was a Major trigger for me...

the worst part is, when other people have problems I start worrying like nothing else and the worst part is I don't just leave it at the door...I internalise it-my stomach literally goes into knots: then I get sick. Having all this medical knowledge as well actually just makes the worry a whole lot WORSE- I totally get why lots of people just refuse to go to the doctor: Knowledge can be a Burden with a capital 'B' (as much as it is empowering and liberating too! :)

I also wish I cared less and felt less responsible for the welfare of others- but then again, I AM a Water sign! And maybe that's why I may one day make a kick ass Chinese doc yet!

So anyway recognising this has got to stop I got myself a Chinese patent the other day- what I know as Jia Wei Xiao Yao San but the good folks at BTRT know it by this euphemism which I thought was so to the point it was amusing...


p.s GROUNDING is a really simple and effective tool to combat stress as well...if you can't get to the beach, park, yoga, just connecting with the earth by sitting or lying on the floor can be really helpful. Right now I only sit on a chair when absolutely necessary- instead I have my yoga mat set up 24-7 where I do stretches, have meals on etc....it's surprisngly calming! If you find it hard to sit on the floor for extended periods, I highly recommend getting yourself a Nada chair.

Learning Flexibility...

Today in massage we learnt better how to diagnose a musculoskeletal ailment. One of the things we had to do was watch carefully how the patient moved. I was really happy and surprised to be told that all the stuffed up body alignment I retained from the accident, not walking and associated muscle wastage has actually improved greatly...which I can only assume is due to doing yoga regularly :)

I feel in some ways besides physical flexibility my mind has definitely gotten a lot more flexible. For example, last night I got "notified" that I'd have all these tradesmen rocking up at my door at 730am (talk about short "notice"- my body corporate sucks!)...in any case I don't like things popping up on me out of nowhere...I like routine and predictability around me to a certain extent which is highly ironic cos I personally love being unpredictable and spontaneous.

So anyhow they turned up and it could have been a big stressy get really aggravated event because they were really dodgy didn't speak English and when I came back there was DUST EVERYWHERE- in my fruit bowl, on my shelves, in my laundry, in my CLOTHES, in every crevice of every electrical appliance...they hadn't had the courtesy to prewarn me to cover things up and hadn't had the decency to drape plastic sheets for themselves....and I'm actually highly allergic to dust.

I like how I was able to take it in my stride and make adjustments without getting worked up and annoyed...or telling the rude leader of the pack with really bad stressy vibes where to go when he barked orders at me to help him out even though I'm not even one of his workers! (I did however sound my tibetan singing bowl really loooooong to cleanse my place of his bad vibes though)

I can't even use my bathroom so me the total germaphobe showered at the gym!...slowly but surely I'm getting more and more flexible!!!

So they're coming back tomorrow and rather than be anal fussy over the mess and dirt they've left I'm living in all the crap until they finish tomorrow and then I will begin the highly laborious task of de-dusting all the crap out of my freshly cleaned and now filthy dirty apartment (yup another reason why I could have gotten especially annoyed- talk about bad timing!!)

In any case, I still haven't learnt flexibility in social situations yet. I still really like familiar people...at all costs. I can't believe how sad I felt when yet another person I had gotten used to seeing around in my daily life has just disappeared off the planet. Whether it be the people who serve me at the post office or at the supermarket I get used to my "regulars" and when they suddenly leave and aren't there anymore I find it kind of rather disconcerting even though they were pretty well perfect strangers I had no meaningful or deep relationships with in the first place- I still find myself missing them- maybe I'm a lot more sentimental then I ever realised...

Still need to master the 'art of detachment' better.

p.s i'm not in such an unreal happy positive state that I fail to notice that there are a heck of a lot of complete a-holes around or that people are incredibly selfish these days, rather I choose not to focus on these losers...basically even if it seems to me that there is only one really cool nice loveable person to every 10 a-holes in the city, I just dwell on the fact that there is one really nice cool person I was privileged enough to meet^^ or else I would end up being the world's biggest negative misanthropist.

On Depression

It's good to be on holidays. I actually have time to get more than 5 hours sleep (guilt-free!)

So anyway I'm now on this pro-active streak to look after myself properly so hopefully I have the ongoing discipline to keep it up once life gets majorly hectic again- 8 hours sleep when I'm not out, regular sleeping routine, eating routine etc...all those things I neglect when I get busy.

The thing I have to keep reminding myself is when I get run down, I can't even look after myself- so how can I care for others?!

Which brings me to the topic that has also been on my mind lately. Depression. Not me. But some people close to me. In any case, it is really frustrating for me too when those close to me suffer depression. For friends and family, it is like repeatedly hitting your head against a brick wall. And I'm not just talking about short term traumatic event-induced depression, I'm talking about the people who can't see past the black hole for months and months and years and years and who rationally (even from their point of view) have no reason to be depressed...I guess it's what gets classified as clinical depression- they're flat, unreactive and just completely withdrawn and closed off. I find myself always worrying when I don't hear from people like this.

You hear a lot of all those people that just end it yet their friends and family were quite oblivious to the signs...I can't judge but I find it hard to believe that people can just be so unaware. But then again, this world comprises all types- some people are just down right insensitive and don't possess the finely tuned intuitive antennae some of us ;) are blessed with!

Increasingly though it is another side effect of the rat-racey world. People get busy, self absorbed - they forget to check up on how their loved ones are and let's face it, everyone only has a few REALLY CLOSE people in their life who would even bother.

Anyway, along with chronic internal illnesses, I think depression is another area I want to specialise in later on, because it is well known that conventional western medicine is pretty ineffective in this area...sure they can give anti-depressants, mood-stabilizers etc, but after awhile the person develops a tolerance and what happens when they just don't take them and/or try to overdose...you can't just plug a leaky hole and expect the problem to go away. It is for things like this that TCM shines, targeting the root not just the symptom.

Anyhow here are two natural tips that may help improve mood...

>Go out and get some sun! Walking along the beach with the sand squelching between my toes and the wind whipping through my hair always does it for me!

>Try a bit of Yoga- apparently the Sun Salutation(Surya Namaska) is a good way to alleviate depression.

Wishing you a Happy Day! Namaste!*

* this is one definition I found LOL:
'I honour that place in you where the whole Universe resides. And when I am in that place in me and you are in that place in you, there is only one of us.' (Vancouveryoga.com)

Past, Present, Future...

That new agey/yoga concept of "being wholely in your body in the present" is really, really true: it's just that for modern society, we generally suck at it!

Most of us squander our present by spending most of it worrying about the future and/or dwelling on the past...I'm so glad I have none of that left in me: it's awesome to be able to enjoy each day and only see all the numerous possibilities for the future...and as Big Kev says best: "I'm excited"! ;)

p.s
Since my confrontation with smoker I have had THE BEST 24 hours since- I'm breathing, sleeping- arghhhh the joy of simple pleasures!!

In case you're thinking I'm a Nazi imposing on civil liberties, I didn't actually tell him he had to stop doing it- I just told him to turn on his extraction fan when he does and made him aware that everytime he smokes it comes straight into my apartment...so far, so good -no problems...maybe he didn't even dare to smoke? LOL - perhaps when I'm truly distressed or impassioned about a cause...and let fly, maybe I can come across as intimidating...or rather the guy realises...with something that bothers me THAT MUCH and THAT RELENTLESSLY I'm equally not gonna let it drop and so he's just being smart ;) or, a good neighbour :)

Let's hope I haven't spoken too soon...next 3 weeks: CRUNCH TIME I'm gonna need as much unpolluted air and sleep as I can get: Fingers and Toes crossed! XXX

Damn! Not born to be a healer?

Multiple posts back, I mentioned that I suspected that the funny turquoise & green light I saw on closing my eyes was my aura...

unfortunately, after consulting "an authority" LOL cos it happens every time after yoga now, anyway...it just means my - quote- "chakras are being revitalised". LOL

Damn, and here I was thinking I was BORN to be a healer...

I'm happy, Happy, HAPPY!! Cos, despite all the whingeing and whining, moaning, groaning and procrastination...somewhere between all that I managed to knock another Huge Sucker out of the way!

Now just 2 huge make-it-or-break-it prac exams, 2 tests, 1 assignment, 1 mini assignment and 3 theory exams to go...sheesh, how do they cram all that into such a short space of time- talk about recipe for stress!

in any case,

the end is nearly in sight!?(!!!)

I think I saw my aura!

okay, i broke. hit me...i'm a sucker for blogging: what can I say?

Something!

...pretty exciting happened...paranormal? I dunno.

But worth documenting...

Towards the end of yoga today when we were at the usual relaxation wind down part with eyes closed, I started seeing a huge bright green-blue big round patch of colour. It stayed and the longer I looked at it then it started getting smaller and turning into a vibrant green! Now when I close my eyes sitting in front of the computer all I can see is...the usual...nothing...black :(

Anyway, I'm not exactly sure what it was but it was...cool and the colours were so pretty!

When I did Reiki 1 one of the women in my class said when she was giving reiki to me she started seeing all these pretty coloured lights when she was touching my heart chakra area. So based on this and some googling, I think the coloured light I saw might have been my own aura!!!

Anyway if so, these are what the colours I saw today mean: aurically speaking: pretty interesting!

Turquoise: indicates dynamic quality of being, highly energized personality, capable of projection, influencing other people. People with turquoise strong point in their Aura can do many things simultaneously and are good organizers. They feel bored when forced to concentrate on one thing. People love bosses with turquoise Auras, because such bosses explain their goals and influence their team rather than demand executing their commands. Turquoise thought is a thought about organizing and influencing others.

Green: restful, modifying energy, natural healing ability. All natural healers should have it. People with a green strong point in their Auras are natural healers. The stronger the green Aura, the better the healer. They also love gardening and usually have a "green hand" - anything grows for them. Being in a presence of a person with a strong and green Aura is a very peaceful and restful experience. Green thought indicates a restful state and healing.

This fascinating information about auras is from this site.

p.s since i'm blabbering already...i found it amusing -THE ONE THING my bro in the states asked my mum to send for his birthday?

VEGEMITE! apparently it's run out everywhere! dunno if the recession is affecting supply?!

...Once a happy little vegemite, always one ;) Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!