Learning and Development

I feel like I'm wearing preshrunk clothes several sizes too small and am "growing" (in a sense) at such a fast rate they are uncomfortably tightening everyday and all my limbs are sticking out half exposed and cold! I'm hoping to find some comfy nice fitting larger size clothes soon that I can grow into so that I can rip these out of date ill-fitting ones off!

I hope you didn't take that analogy literally...I don't want to traumatise anybody to imagine me in the nud!!! :P

Amusing Email Exchange...

I sent S an email entitled "arghhhhh please save me from plastic people and a plastic society!!!"

with one liner content: "honestly, i think I live in the world's most vacuous and shallow city outside L.A!"

Her reply was Gold.

"wish I could but I don't think it is much better anywhere you go. There is something inherently wrong with most people. Go hermit, it's the only way to be."

I so love the assuredness and certainty with which that bolded sentiment comes across from her.

And, I agree with the last line...I had already decided my new strategy: people avoidance...it's a cop out but it's the only way to survive this kind of environment day in, day out.

I am definitely going to work on my own consciousness though and hopefully find more conscious people amidst all the chaos here.

The Burden of being Spiritually Gifted?

There are two eclipses this month- I'm not sure whether that is why it's been particularly "noisy" or what...Strangely, I contacted one of my spiritual girlfriends for a recommendation for an energy worker...and she said that she's been going through a really bad patch of intense dreams too!! BIZARRE! So in both cases neither of us have been able to sleep properly and after most of last night awake and the past few nights full of dreams I for one am starting to get those god awful panda eyes etched deeper(!)

In any case I recently acquired two similarly spritually conscious & aware/receptive girlfriends locally: the first I've found in real life and if anything I conclude, the "gift" can definitely be a burden!!! However, it's kinda nice to have people that can relate on this level...for once.

I think until you really grow into your spiritual maturity, it can all get a bit confusing and overwhelming at times!

Letting Go...Embracing Change.

Invariably I wake up with my muscles all tense...usually stressed out by overly vivid dreams and profound insights that come deep from my subconscious - things I barely had any clue was "a problem" in my conscious. When the muscles are all tense and achey like this from an energetic point of view, qi is not flowing smoothly and there is energy blockage. From certain alternative health view points this blockage could be seen as due to resistance to change.

So a couple of things that might help...

1. Letting go through Breath and Visualisation - measured breathing with a focus on long exhalations...imagine that when you exhale you're breathing out that tension and any "stuck crap"! You can focus your mind on particular areas of your body where there is concentrated tension.

2. Yoga: Fish Pose I'd always found this stance very beneficial but didn't realise why...until I realised it unblocks the throat chakra(the one which is responsible for being able to embrace change). I'd guess it also opens the Heart Chakra somewhat.

3. Get out of your comfort zone! Things that make you feel uncomfortable...they're likely related in some way to areas that need changing/to be shaken up and MOVED...Set yourself a goal of challenging yourself out of your comfort zone by doing something that makes you go "Nooooo!" once a week or so. I'm one up on that last one...I did go to Karaoke last week didn't I!

4. And the active solution would be to GET MOVING with exercise...to release any pent up energy. Boxing class anyone? Devoid of anger issues I think I prefer cycling LOL...anything that is aerobic anyway...walking (unless fast up a steep hill sustained) doesn't count.

5. And the passive solution...Liver tonics...something common at home that's simple could be...peppermint tea, dandelion tea...and if we get more specialised...anything Bupleurum!

H.O I think you often get this "stuck qi" business...and even bother make effort to get it treated...what other suggestions can you add to this list?

Deepak on Commitment

LOL, to all fellow people who hear the word "commitment", make lots of negative associations and gulp...or who have tried and failed...miserably...time and time again...I happened to notice a helpful column in a spiritual newspaper...

Surprisingly it is the first writing I have read from that great modern philosopher Deepak Chopra.....WOW...he shoots right to the top to sit next to Tolle! :)

In any case I thought it was so good I thought I'd do a community service and type it up since I couldn't find an online version of it...cos it's really worth sharing!

Edit: found the link!

Maiestate

Hmmm 4am awake, so, not great...but at least I sort of slept for 4 hours which is the best I've managed since Friday!!! (My good friends dutifully inform me that I look like total crap LOL- at least I take comfort in them knowing that I'm really not exaggerating how horribly shitty I feel physically!) Oh well...maybe it's just that case of "it can only get worse before it gets better" or "the most rewarding things in life are the ones we have to struggle hardest to attain".

In any case, MAI-E-STA-TE...what does it mean?

A Latin word, it means majesty, nobility...I liked this word as soon as I first put my eyes to it which was when I was about 14 or 15...because to me it immediately struck me as the closest word to "integrity" without being a derivative.

In any case I realise Integrity is the one thing I seem to be searching for a lot these days...in the majority of society, it is highly, highly lacking. As an old soul I've always had a fairly liberal live and let live type attitude, but one area where I find myself intolerant is when people act dishonorably -by all standard perception- and I am aware that someone will get hurt out of this...it offends my sense of justice and also activates my sense of compassion for the victim...many times I am aware of this potentiality before it eventuates so that is when I am more compelled to proactively offer my 2c...

But at the end of the day,young souls are in this world for a good time- heck- for the most part they are not even aware of any wrongdoing, so how can you hold wrongdoing against people who completely lack the same level of Awareness- that would be like resenting a baby for being selfish!

Eh it can be trying, being an old soul living in a young soul world. In any case I realise a lot of my "unique" experience of life is due to being a Life Path Number 11- one of the Master numbers - our experience of the world seems to be half in the physical plane and half in the spiritual plane-hence why we often need grounding, and also why I am incredibly idealistic! LOL...along with 22, 33...we are pretty rare- I think I've only met 4 others in my life and I think its full effect only really kicks in with a bit of maturity...

okay I might try to "sleep" again :p

Gift or Burden?

My 'blessed' friend and I were talking...another whose lot in life seems to be tending wounded birds, that or we both seem to have attracted more than our fair share of troubled souls into our life throughout our life, people who only seem to stick around for as long as we're needed and then very obviously disappear when they can fly again. My friend said it's good as it shows that we're the kind of compassionate people others feel they can open up to and talk to about things they can't confide in anybody else...

I was reading Nova Holistic Journal and read about an Irish woman very much in touch with angels called Lorna Byrne. This part of her interview resonated with me:

"In absorbing the pain of others"... it's a role she's happy to accept because "in doing that role I know people are suffering less and that means an awful lot to me"..."I suppose God has allowed me to feel people's emotions and to take some of that to help them cope."

Unfortunately I'm not such a noble white entity...sometimes I really mind...it's such a Thankless Burden!! I think people in our position really deserve some kind of "source" we can tap into to replenish and consolidate our own life energy so we don't get drained and overly affected. I asked my friend how she managed to not get personally weighed down from absorbing others troubles and in terms of her own issues too where how does she "unload"? And the answer seemed so obvious...she talks to God!

But not being as naive a creature as I, she also admitted that she's always been aware of the need to "protect" herself and has managed to achieve this by always keeping a "distance" and "a barrier" from other people...she admits this means she's never been close to anybody....ever.

What a strange idea...perhaps this is the way to go...I guess this whole issue lies in that grey area which I am still learning to grow into. Sometimes I wish all that existed is white= good and bad=black(metaphorically speaking) and that everybody else could distinguish these two shades as easily as some of us can...