Ooh I guess I should be excited?

"Invariably, Ms Cheery, a sudden disappointment, a bit of "bad" news, or a flock of butterflies gathering in your stomach, are all omens that a fabulous adventure is fast approaching."

Hehe today's message. Sorry been AWOL but been seriously sick and have to rest. I've accepted with some peace that I have kiss things I had been looking forward to like the three continent globetrot-"ciao". It's funny how life unravels...suddenly all my intricate and ambitious plans etc are on hold indefinitely/not possible but on the upside I guess like the message says, this opens up to new and unexpected surprises which don't always have to be bad I guess.

It looks like there are a few lifestyle changes in store...I am still a little surprised...for one, I was totally unexpecting to still be in this city!

Anyway I firmly believe "everything happens for a reason"...perhaps it's all a Blessing in Disguise! Anyway appreciate your continued prayers. Love, Z

p.s i was scheduled to be with whales and swinging in hammocks this weekend but I guess not- i didn't know whether I'm supposed to call the airline or just not turn up for my flight? eh, suck.

Sometimes you just need your mummy...

sheesh...I can't believe I found out about Michael Jackon's passing so late!! anyway I've done a post on MJ over at my song blog.

The reason why I was so oblivious was I had a bit of a health scare today (I woke up to my right eye all funny and I couldn't open it along with tingling and numbness) and so was freaking out....a friend's dad retired gp still alive today thanks to chinese medicine so a wise, non partisan informed party...he told me to dash to the gp (who typically said "sorry there's nothing I can do") and then having seen some of our patients struck down with these things for 3 months(!) I had the good sense to take myself to the acupuncturist-"stitch in time saves nine"(thank GOD I can open my eye and it's looking passably normal again...TCM is seriously amazing....saves the day YET AGAIN! fingers crossed it's good still tomorrow)...so anyway the rest of the day was spent resting up while my mum came over helped me with chores and cooked me several meals so I could rest which is very very important when struck down with severe virus.

Anyway yeah would appreciate if you could send me some healing vibes/include me in your prayers for a quick, full and speedy recovery(cos I've already been sick for 8.5 days and I'm still pretty unwell- definitely should not have got sidetracked while out at the doctor's yesterday LOL)...now I probably should go back to beddy byes...some holiday...but hey the scariest thing is having any of your basic human functions impaired...while I still have my 5 senses and mobility of all my limbs in tact and all my major organs are functioning, at least I won't be stressing myself silly! All those things healthy, lucky people take for granted. Not me!!!

cheers :)

Maiestate

Hmmm 4am awake, so, not great...but at least I sort of slept for 4 hours which is the best I've managed since Friday!!! (My good friends dutifully inform me that I look like total crap LOL- at least I take comfort in them knowing that I'm really not exaggerating how horribly shitty I feel physically!) Oh well...maybe it's just that case of "it can only get worse before it gets better" or "the most rewarding things in life are the ones we have to struggle hardest to attain".

In any case, MAI-E-STA-TE...what does it mean?

A Latin word, it means majesty, nobility...I liked this word as soon as I first put my eyes to it which was when I was about 14 or 15...because to me it immediately struck me as the closest word to "integrity" without being a derivative.

In any case I realise Integrity is the one thing I seem to be searching for a lot these days...in the majority of society, it is highly, highly lacking. As an old soul I've always had a fairly liberal live and let live type attitude, but one area where I find myself intolerant is when people act dishonorably -by all standard perception- and I am aware that someone will get hurt out of this...it offends my sense of justice and also activates my sense of compassion for the victim...many times I am aware of this potentiality before it eventuates so that is when I am more compelled to proactively offer my 2c...

But at the end of the day,young souls are in this world for a good time- heck- for the most part they are not even aware of any wrongdoing, so how can you hold wrongdoing against people who completely lack the same level of Awareness- that would be like resenting a baby for being selfish!

Eh it can be trying, being an old soul living in a young soul world. In any case I realise a lot of my "unique" experience of life is due to being a Life Path Number 11- one of the Master numbers - our experience of the world seems to be half in the physical plane and half in the spiritual plane-hence why we often need grounding, and also why I am incredibly idealistic! LOL...along with 22, 33...we are pretty rare- I think I've only met 4 others in my life and I think its full effect only really kicks in with a bit of maturity...

okay I might try to "sleep" again :p

Once you start you just can't stop!

I'm not talking about Pringles...I'm talking about *blog reading* actually LOL

I do miss reading about all your fascinating lives but unfortunately it's having to take a backseat especially for the next 2 weeks where my body is totally snowed under fighting the sickness that is no longer being suppressed/masked by tonic herbs in the goal to be completely healed. I knew that this treatment was somewhat revolutionary but I have to admit that it really packed a punch that I was not quite prepared for!

Hence...in survival mode...having not been able to sleep since Friday is really starting to take it's toll and being able to study let alone concentrate is really, really challenging. Being so tired but being unable to sleep is really some kind of Hell on Earth. I can't take sleeping aids either lest it interfere with my treatment...so when I get a bit desperate I will intervene with a needle or two which means maybe 2 hours of rest but no restful sleep. So really functioning on minimalism and basics...such as now, currently cooking 15 minute backpacker pasta :p

If there's one thing I'd ask for before having to be born here again is to have completely great health for my entire lifetime...otherwise, when it drags out as it has with multiple events, it kind of makes everything suck...

Fingers crossed that this time the sucker's in the bag!

Sydney City In a Word: Tacky!

Okay that's not me bagging out my own city...it's what I have been thinking this last year I've been back and when I surveyed a bunch of Europeans about their thoughts on Sydney city- they independently came to the same conclusion providing the word above!

I was walking around the city at night looking at the tasteless fashions, tasteless overkill on makeup, listening to the unattractive retching of women throwing up on the street in full view of everyone walking past as their boyfriends held their hair out of the way and it was only 10pm! and passing by many oversexed yobbos and fearing for my safety.

That's what Sydney to me has become. I have but one more area of this country to "test out" before knowing where I aim to escape to. Although I think I probably like the fact that Europe and its people are so cultured relative to us Down Under, nothing beats this clean air, beautiful environment and wide open space...the problem with cities apart from them cooking my immune system electromagnetic radiation wise is EVERYBODY smokes and its just like being stuck in one big chimney where I inevitably get sick from my chemical sensitivity...

Hero to Zero: People are SO Fickle...

I was outraged to hear how the Chinese superstar hurdler Liu Xiang got totally slaughtered after his achilles gave way and made him bow out of contention for the medals...ironically the theme kinda ties into what I had been planning to blog about...how people are so fickle- I CAN'T STAND these people!

In my childhood and in my teens I had the (mis?)fortune to be relatively popular. These experiences, if anything, disgusted me and have probably contributed to the passion with which I am now a comfortable loner when I want to be...

I couldn't believe how people would be friends with you when things were going well to the extent of being total suck ups following you around but as soon as things weren't favourable all your so-called "friends"could just instantly about-face and disappear. I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THIS!

I still get this kinda crap now. Because I have extremes with how I can look based on how I dress each day...In any case I can't believe how differently I get treated!!! People fail to even remember they've met me before- it's disgusting how superficial people are...I just want to scream- "I'm still the same person, damn you!!!"

Although a lot of women dress to impress, E and I have enough self confidence to not need to hide behind make up and nice clothes so we have a pact...we deliberately do not dress to impress so we weed out such superficial low lifes who will like us for looking presentable rather than for being ourselves. I just think superficial people are SO STUPID...pretty well everybody can look really good under a bit of makeup and nice threads....just to push my point- I have even been in a magazine(how ridiculous is that(!) but it just goes to show what's possible when you have skilled makeup and hair artists and a fancy dress)...it's completely evident if you look at Hollywood superstars just going to the shops without makeup and in their ugg boots-completely unglamorous-every bit a daily human like the rest of us!

In any case I just wish people were less fickle- cos shallow things like looks are so transient and are a completely unreliable way to judge how a person truly is....

In any case you know who your real friends are cos they give you the honest truth and still love you anyway...LOL

Today I walked in the clinic and no "hello" from T&M, just "YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT!!!!"

LOL I've been really sick for 4 days now- it kind of takes its toll...But at least they didn't abandon me- M gave me a massage slathered me in Vicks and Chinese liniments and gua shaed me and stuck a needle in- quick treatment between classes...then later I got more treatment- acupuncture, herbs...hopefully it works this viral thing is just NASTY and it just makes life so tough when there is very little leeway to accommodate sickness into a course as demanding as this one. So anyway friends were sweet today...giving me tissues, food, treatments and still my friends despite the fact I looked like shit and smelt like shit, was a completely disgusting walking germ-ball full of neverending snot...

There's nothing like REAL Friends :-D

Biological Warfare & Intuitive Confusion

So the jury's passed its verdict. I've been deemed too much of a respiratory contagion to attend my niece's party- so I'm tucked in bed having a good ol' much needed rest like you should on Sundays, and indulging in favourite trivial pursuits such as blogging ;)

So the other day, I chanced to meet a psychic healer. This brought some interesting discussion and I totally couldn't contain my curiosity- I, like so many others, gave her a grilling interrogation...

The reason I'm especially fascinated is because, from a young age, I've always known that I'm slightly *intuitive*, and pretty well I know that if I wanted to develop it I likely could, but I've always held myself back due to fear of the unknown and more recently due to wanting to make my own choices without being influenced by things like that...

Lately I've been influenced by the idea that you can manifest how you want your life to be, however it recently occurred to me that perhaps...maybe it's better to just go with the flow a little and save some energy! LOL

In any case, re:psychic ability and intuition, sometimes things come to me (occasionally I have made predictions which came true). Anyhow sometimes...I find myself wondering: was that thought truly psychic or is it just my ego talking? It is very hard to make a distinction and hence I never know whether to act on these "thoughts"...I think until you can completely detach from your ego, any insights you receive will always be a bit fuzzy...I know you could probably meditate for clarity and clarification, but I think a large part of me just doesn't want any excessive intuitive ability!

Doctor Doubts...

I knew from a very young age that I was not cut out to be a normal doctor- the blood and guts, having to cope with people dying on you every day, having to stay calm and react in critical situations.

However, perhaps some things are not so different :P A day in the clinic full of sick people and germs...

and I'm sick as a dog! Maybe I'd be better off as a health writer...

Sometimes when you live by yourself it is possible to go long periods without talking to anybody. When the phone rang and I heard my voice it suddenly hit me that perhaps I was sicker than I realised and my friend concurred with "you sound like you're dying!"

But although I'm heaps run down, I'm still hoping to attend my niece's 2nd b'day party...fingers crossed.

there is so little leeway with my life right now-it's not even about overstudying it is just being able to keep up with the workload and ongoing assessments- this cram course is crazy- 4 normal subjects is like 8 subjects- we're starting to move into that territory where there is absolutely no scope for a life outside of study apart from grocery shopping etc-once I fully accept that I'm restricted to 4 months a year to "enjoy life" that will be easier.

Meanwhile I'm sucking on Autumn Valley Manuka Honey Nuglets which is keeping my throat and spirits in check somewhat, sweet tooth that I am ;)