Saturday, May 31, 2008
In any case, at certain times, like now, it'll come back to haunt me and I'll feel huge pangs of regret. Whoever said that the lucky person is the one that is able to seize opportunities as they arise was damn genius...
Friday, May 30, 2008
According to it, apparently I am so rational that I should be an economist? LOL Maybe this is why I've never been one for humanities bar ones -like language- that have logic, pattern and structure?
I wonder...is it considered pathological if one is too rational? Or just plain uncaring? In any case, what is TOO rational?
Whatever the case, I think for my profession-to-be at least, it's a pretty handy trait to have...cos otherwise it is all too easy to get pulled into emotional rollercoasters...I think as long as you can build rapport and have genuine compassion, attention and empathy...detachment (and therefore professionalism) is a good thing! It doesn't help getting too involved which can cloud your objective thought processes...
The good thing is, being an individual encounter, you can still have your favourite patients - the ones you just inexplicably connect with...without seeming horribly unjust and partial like when teaching in a classroom setting.
On another random note, I was really excited to read about the discovery of an indian tribe in the Amazon that had had no human contact with the "civilised"(I use that term cynically) world. In any case, it really blows my mind to think that these ancient tribes still exist in my lifetime...I'm just sad that it is only a matter of time before they cease to exist.
On the smoker woes issue...between it, the inability to sleep and my imminent exams I am going slightly insane(just in case you hadn't noticed), however one small consolation- in talks now with the director of the strata company, seen the plans of the piping etc of the building, had an assessment by a structural? engineering company...it's now just a matter of getting the huge finances and council approval to do a major overhaul of the building...That is the limitation of being human...unfortunately we can't just click our fingers to get something done immediately, but, at least it's PROGRESS.
On a final note, FRESH AIR HERE I COME...Yipppeeee!!!
Retreat-Reprieve-Escape from city is booked fleeing right after exams :-D. Will be the first time on a plane since the accident...hopefully it will be okay. It's been so long I was kinda surprised to see that you can now buy carbon offsets for your portion of the flight! But I'm still not wholely convinced that they are effective in actuality. More in this article.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
However, as with all negatives there is a positive: I'm glad I did cos otherwise I wouldn't have made some of the friends that I have :)
And for plane-averse but foreign-culture besotted people like me it's been a great way to connect to people from all parts of the globe. The beauty of this medium is the fact geography is no limitation and it is alarmingly random- you come into contact with people of all backgrounds, ages, ethnicities usually connected by some common interest which is really cool...occasionally I get completely random people write to me...it's pretty cool and kinda exciting - kinda like when you go fishing- you never know what you will pull up!
I guess that aspect is one part of the blogging appeal. Apart from M&D who made me aware relatively late in the game of this word/concept of "weblog"(that's exactly how ignorant and non tech savvy I was)...in any case besides these geeks, I don't know anybody else from my "real life" that regularly go online and have an internet presence, but then again that's pretty typical never knowing people that share my interests! :P
On reflection, penpalling via the net sure is a distant cry from my junior school days where it was "studiously recommended" to subscribe to the school mediated snail mail penpal service so as to get practice in our foreign language of choice - mine was French...No doubt, just like my French, these penpals didn't last long...although geography is no longer a barrier, because I'm only fully conversant in English, unfortunately language still is...
At least now I appreciate penpalling for what it is and the depth of exchange writing affords, not like when my sister and I were younger and it was in large part an underhanded means of collecting exotic postage stamps for our all important stamp collections LOL ;)
I also (obviously) discovered a love of writing- not only an effective vent and stress release for daily tensions but also the means by which I'm gradually rediscovering a small portion of the creativity I exuded as a child but which got totally annihilated with all the pains of "growing up".
One last vaguely affiliated aside...a friend of mine and her girlfriend were recently at San Francisco airport when some random guy started falling over himself because of their Aussie accents...apparently an Australian accent coming out of an asian face was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard- whatever- lucky this friend is a whole lot more extroverted than me...so in the end they got a local guided tour cum chauffeur of the city for the whole 3 days they were there!
I can't say accents get me THAT EXCITED but out of all I've heard I'd have to say I like the South African accent best. In terms of languages though, I Love Spanish and French. Mandarin Chinese has definitely been the most challenging I've attempted to learn. Just in case you managed to read this far...and are a bit of a lingo enthusiast like me...
I'd like to know...
What foreign accent and language are your personal favourites??
Wait wait! 3 more burning questions...
From what country are your favourite people?
Mine would be JAPAN :)
If you didn't live where you do now, where do you think you would be living?
I think I'd like CANADA.
From where is your favourite cuisine?
Hmm...this one I can't choose between
SOUTH-EAST ASIA/FRANCE/SPANISH-PORTUGUESE-SOUTH/LATIN AMERICAN
ok that's all- get back to me!
No wonder the strata people weren't happy when they came into the office this morning....complaints galore. I only ended up here cos of the major rental crisis otherwise I would definitely not have chosen to live smack bang in the city...there are way too many low-lifes around!
And the worst part is there is no reprieve for the lungs cos if you venture out in the wee hours you're seriously asking to be bashed and mugged...
CITY LIFE SUCKS!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Most of us squander our present by spending most of it worrying about the future and/or dwelling on the past...I'm so glad I have none of that left in me: it's awesome to be able to enjoy each day and only see all the numerous possibilities for the future...and as Big Kev says best: "I'm excited"! ;)
Since my confrontation with smoker I have had THE BEST 24 hours since- I'm breathing, sleeping- arghhhh the joy of simple pleasures!!
In case you're thinking I'm a Nazi imposing on civil liberties, I didn't actually tell him he had to stop doing it- I just told him to turn on his extraction fan when he does and made him aware that everytime he smokes it comes straight into my apartment...so far, so good -no problems...maybe he didn't even dare to smoke? LOL - perhaps when I'm truly distressed or impassioned about a cause...and let fly, maybe I can come across as intimidating...or rather the guy realises...with something that bothers me THAT MUCH and THAT RELENTLESSLY I'm equally not gonna let it drop and so he's just being smart ;) or, a good neighbour :)
Let's hope I haven't spoken too soon...next 3 weeks: CRUNCH TIME I'm gonna need as much unpolluted air and sleep as I can get: Fingers and Toes crossed! XXX
Monday, May 26, 2008
I was prepared to let it slide (as usual) -that is- until the food I was trying to put in my mouth became engulfed in fresh new all-consuming fumes and I started to feel nauseous...THAT WAS THE FINAL STRAW. Without stopping to think about possible consequences, I went and rapped on neighbour's door...face to face with neighbour...all my frustrations bubbled over- I can't even remember what I said but the guy didn't even have a chance to utter his defense...the confrontation ended with him saying "I'm so sorry..."
Wow. Mscherrylane 1 Smoker O. This assertiveness thing is cool.
Good riddance to repressed asian "don't cause any trouble la-just suck it in" ways.
I'm wondering if it'd be pushing it too far to rock up at his door offering him free ear stud acupuncture "kick your disgusting habit" and save both of us from becoming a sick, sad statistic treatment?
Sunday, May 25, 2008
unfortunately, after consulting "an authority" LOL cos it happens every time after yoga now, anyway...it just means my - quote- "chakras are being revitalised". LOL
Damn, and here I was thinking I was BORN to be a healer...
I'm happy, Happy, HAPPY!! Cos, despite all the whingeing and whining, moaning, groaning and procrastination...somewhere between all that I managed to knock another Huge Sucker out of the way!
Now just 2 huge make-it-or-break-it prac exams, 2 tests, 1 assignment, 1 mini assignment and 3 theory exams to go...sheesh, how do they cram all that into such a short space of time- talk about recipe for stress!
in any case,
the end is nearly in sight!?(!!!)
On the other hand give me the cold, hard 100% truth - and maybe I'll stare you right back in the eye and say 'Thank You'.
I'm not sure why people are so averse to telling the truth. It's so downright hard to find honest people these days. Everybody is always hiding behind facades, so worried about what other people think of them, or so worried about offending people.
What I really can't stand are "little white lies" and people who are so gutless they can't deal with truth or be their real selves. Or maybe it's just me, maybe I think a lot better of truthful people, but most people would prefer to hear only what they want to hear and be in sheltered ignorance from that which they don't...
Maybe when I was younger, more naive and more sheltered, I was a lot more judgemental but honestly, now I think I've pretty well heard it all...it sure takes a lot to shock me, and I try not to judge...unless of course you're a filthy smoker and then of course you immediately sink to the bottom of the heap - if you do it around me at least!!!
Speaking of smokers, G was at my place again and even SHE didn't sleep a wink...I'm thinking it's all that nicotine that is insidiously invading 24-7 via the pores in the walls, floor and common ducts...at low levels nicotine is a stimulant...although I've always had shite-y sleep, since I've been back in the city with all my stressed out Chinamen chain-smoking neighbours hinging me in from all directions, I think I've barely gotten A WINK...and I'm even running a $500 negative ion air purifier! ARGHHHHHHHHH, it's so...completely aggravating! And just another challenge to this intense study life and maintaining GOOD grades. Obviously another campaign I need energy for...a matter of persistently harrassing the strata enough...*sigh* I really AM tired...if only I could SLEEP!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Ja, the natives are getting restless...as per usual. Too long spent cooped up and chained to a desk today :P
So random ramble...this idea occurred to me during my "sleep" - it's so crap, ever since being bitten eleven or thirteen times by Culex and getting sick I just can never really get "sleep" and hence I'm always completely physically exhausted and mentally hyperactive - it's such a curse! ANYWAY...
I've always had this intense desire to go to a costume party as the cast of Monkey Magic (cos I've always wanted to dress up as My favourite Superhero Monkey but then someone pointed out I'd have to shave my head and grow facial hair so I decided it might be more convenient to settle for Sandy...even though he's lame he's not as lame as Tripitaka...)
In any case I got really excited when I met R who bears an uncanny resemblance to Monkey(and I've already roped him in to dress up as Monkey... M, I thought you could come as Pigsy?! LOL was that harsh?! ;)
so yeah the idea I got in my sleep was to make our end of year party a "Superheroes" theme so I get to live out at least one of my cheap thrills...and I thought...well, we ARE sort of Superheroes...we rescue all those "last hope cases" that the western medicos can't help!! So now I just need to convince everyone else that they want to dress up as Superheroes too or else we're going to end up with some lame, lame, lame and boring "prom" theme I bet!
p.s the only one other thing I want to do before I turn 30 is to win a MEAT TRAY(in true Aussie style) in a pub trivia (but it's not looking good...if you a) like trivia b) are good at trivia c) are an old hand at pub trivia quizzes, then I want to hear from you! I really need to find more people that share my enthusiasm for things!
I've always been a scientist at heart- always observing, conducting "experiments" ;)...asking WHY? & HOW?
EXACTLY why things like reiki don't sit that easily with me (so I choose to not think about it cos it only ends up in major brain boggle), but I do know from experience that there are a lot of amazing, inexplicable, illogical and irrational things that exist out there - and then I try to keep the scientist part of me shut out...to keep my brain from exploding!
Started watching What the Bleep Do we know? yesterday at the suggestion of a classmate of mine- was 'interesting'- a curious documentary trying to explain New Age ideals via Quantum Physics touching on cool stuff like Masaru Emoto along the way: very much in line with my thoughts on the power of belief, intent, awareness and perception post having a reiki attunement-definitely interesting to people who believe in possibilities.
I can't say what I think about the film conclusively as I haven't finished watching it but at the least it's thought provoking-it's definitely quite a difficult subject to have made into a film...I'm curious to know what the full-blown skeptics think...
ANYWAY back to the title of this post...last night I did something I very rarely do. I let two of my worlds collide: on a spontaneous whim bringing together two very separate friends from two very separate worlds (but no I wasn't matchmaking-sorry to disappoint LOL: I still don't get why people think I would be good at this!?) (Unfortunately I still haven't been able to cash in on the $300 P offered per decent "introduction" - the major problem still being I don't know enough twenty something women!!)
Anyway it was really fascinating last night just observing, watching, listening to the two parties interact- it's always expecially exciting when the interaction is completely unpredictable from the outset: the last time I was this intrigued was when we introduced a new stranger guinea pig into the hutch of the existing guinea pig...or even LOL in my even younger days when I was SIMS obsessed and introduced a new Sim into an existing household ;)
In any case, all my friends being from very different circles- typically, historically they never get along, either completely disliking each other or having absolutely nothing in common besides me as the mutual association, so it was nice in this case when they actually got along and it was fascinating to hear afterwards what they respectively thought of each other. Maybe I should do this more often...but then again I think I prefer to keep my separate worlds separate...
anyway toodooloo...off to yoga! These grandma joints desperately need some oiling...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Doodle excerpt from bone dry western medical science prac manual...this is me imagining being a scarecrow...
Someone's dreaming of The Country Life ;) !
hmmm...this is a typical reflection of the mesh of polarities within...
I love the rustic, cleanliness, beauty and slow simplicity of the country life yet at the same time I'm an urban chick...I need culture, refinement, informed people, geographical convenience, new ideas...
on that note I think the one photo I took today is appropriate to the theme...I call this one
hmmm...apart from regional vs metro, on the subject of polarities:
here are some others that are always playing tug-of-war within:
Western me vs Eastern me
Practical/Rational vs Dreamy/Idealistic
Impulsive/Spontaneous vs Cautious/Deliberated
Need for Personal SPACE/freedom/independence vs Need for close, meaningful one-on-one relationships
Antisocial Introspective Introvert vs Extrospective(is that a word?) genuine interest/curiosity/fascination with other people and capacity to be a social butterfly(subject to energy levels and right mood LOL)
At least I've worked out the geographical conflict bit...
I'm starting to realise in the midst of my own age confusion, age really should not ever be used as a determining factor- there is so much variation with individuals, you just can't generalise!
This afternoon I was horrified to see a male specimen 6 years my senior "get bored", grab his water bottle and pour the contents down the back of another classmates exposed crack...ouch! It was kind of funny as a one off but then he tried...again, and again...and I saw my poor, good-natured classmate walk out with a big wet patch on his jeans- having had to sit on a wet ass for an hour!
What is it that compels such puerile behaviour in people of an age who should know better?!
To be fair, it's less common, but I also know females who act all of about three years old... actually just this afternoon I witnessed a forty something year old female classmate throw one of her characteristic temper tantrums (I seriously wonder how people this immature and uncontained are going to succeed as health-care givers)...Sheesh, no wonder I crave "adult" company like I do...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Today I impulsively bought a computer desk while I was in this stationery superstore -ooh i have a weakness for stationery! Luckily I was able to refund it (on second thought) cos I doubt I could have been bothered or able to put it together(nor do I have That Kind of Spare Time! ...ONLY for blogging^^! )
Spent a nice evening with G yesterday for her b'day!
About two weeks ago she sent me this msg:
"I'm just catching a cup now! See you soon!"
The first time she did it, before my eyebrows could raise, she had sent: "a BUS! sorry"
(oh the wonders of mobile phone technology with their 'intuitive spell' business...)
Anyway she unknowingly did it again yesterday -to my great amusement- yeah I'm so easily amused...so when she arrived, I couldn't help but pay her a *compliment*...especially it being her Birthday and all...
"You're AMAZING!!" I gushed.
(puzzled expression..."ah, why?")
"Well...cos I don't know ANYBODY that is able to commute from point A to point B IN A CUP!"
Saturday, May 17, 2008
My workload this semester is seriously stretching me to my limits- the best analogy I have is that I really feel like that dough that gets worked and slapped around by the master noodle maker to be pulled into seriously long Chinese noodles...
It was P's 30th tonight and I was determined to see him in person to say Happy Birthday! It was actually G's b'day dinner as well which unfortunately I had to miss: it's so bizarre- but my whole life I have noticed weird patterns with one being that I very often have friends born on the same days or at least side by side...not to mention pretty well all my friends names start with only about 6 letters of the alphabet! Maybe that's why I can't totally dismiss all that astrology and numerology stuff!
Anyway it was pretty sad, I only ended up staying 1 hour cos the 2 hours it took to get a good bottle of wine and commute that side of the bridge...completely took it out of me...I was really on the verge of passing out without a chair to sit on and not having had a chance to eat! (That's what I call Stupid BUSY!) I was so relieved for the 10 minute ride home. Functioning without a car in Oz is really quite dysfunctional- it's times like these I wish I lived in NYC where I can just walk around the corner for the good bottle of wine and have such a reliable and frequently running public transport system...taxis here are still relatively expensive...too expensive for a student...especially when they get stuck in peak hour traffic...
Anyway the all of one hour that I stayed at P's was good. Typical P- was nice to be back in a refined and cultured setting for a change. One of his friends was a professional pianist and another a professional singer so when I entered the sounds that bathed my ears were pretty cool... just like the lobby of a swanky hotel in a 1930s film or something...
Some interesting new stuff I found out talking to genuine Chinese from China folks tonight...
*In China, the 30th b'day is the equivalent of the western 21st- it's A BIG DEAL cos that's when you are officially seen as "an adult"! (Yay! so technically I'm still just a kid!!)
*My Chinese name is seriously romantic all the way from my surname to my birth name LOL the irony.
*My Chinese name turns out to be exactly the same as the name of a tribe in Northern China (near Mongolia) which is famous for being good horse riders and good fighters(!) How curious is that!!
*And PLUS just thought I'd mention it...when my Chinese name is spelt in English which is what is on my birth certificate it is actually the same as an exotic ancient tribal village in Mexico...LOL, despite all the multiple name confusion I've grown up with, I'm starting to think my actual name is seriously cool^^!
but rather than being an enjoyable experience, it was kinda as it usually is...very disorientating! And then I start to think arghhhh I'm still a student...arghhhh I still have so much longer being a slave to my studies and this limited lifestyle...arghhh I've spent a third of my life studying...but then I hit some sense back into myself and think, it's my choice anyway and all the sacrifices will be worth it by that which I gain...
It also kinda freaked me out when I found out these My age Males- those who I've only ever known as immature, irresponsible BOYS...they're gonna be....Fathers??! Scary...that's when it really hits you...you're old!!! LOL there's something to be said for these herbal tonics...it seems like so many people on these have fallen pregnant by accident.
On another note - therapeutic this incessant rambling - I'm really looking forward to my personal retreat- I've totally reached that point where I really really need to get out of the city and commune with a natural environment. It's gonna be really good: total relaxation, scenic. I'm looking forward to sucking up that fresh ocean air, looking for whales with my super duper binoculars, taking good photos, doing art, doing chi kung on the beach, going to yoga classes, talking to hippies, talking to people from different countries, watching movies, sussing out herbs and new health foods, scoping the place out to set up business and live, SPACE...and should be rather "interesting" when the girls come up for the weekend...
On another note, I think adults are so jaded because if like a child you get really excited and hopeful about stuff and have expectations and they aren't met, it's pretty disappointing. It's easier to go into everything with a negative/cynical view and then when it turns out well you can be pleasantly surprised...
On a final note these chain smoking neighbours and the bad/non-existent ventilation here is REALLY DRIVING ME INSANE. If I had to wish any one group in the world to be permanently exterminated, without hesitation, I'd say: Smokers- the real scourge on society and our ailing health system!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I accidentally got a bit...Doped! Last night....except that...
unfortunately the dopey-ness lasted ALL DAY as well and I was so sleepy it was a struggle to keep my eyes open!!
Cos I'm still old school and only just now learning the transition to powder granules from raw herbs, I didn't realise how strong these practitioner-only herb granules are...and they were a bit too much for all of my forty something kilos...
So it was a write off of a day. I think I'm like The Energiser bunny and the only time I know when to STOP is when I end up overdoing myself and then end up getting sick and/or crashing...or maybe it was also partially my body clock knowing it was my "day off" and just letting me crash.
It's all a bit blurry but I recall it a rather health-focused day...I restarted with the organic delivery service which seemed a little silly being right in the city but what I found is you really can't get organics unless you're in the 'burbs! Anyway, I think it's good: saving me time, energy, money and best of all preventing me from being tempted to buy unhealthy heavily processed and refined packaged junk foods at the supermarket...and it motivates me to eat more fresh veggies! Organics ARE expensive but really, for highly sprayed fresh foods like spinach, grapes, capsicum, tomatoes etc it REALLY is worth it cos the non-organic stuff just tastes like pure...Ew.
It was so funny when the courier set eyes on me for the first time today, cos I was sort of in the middle of...cleaning lady/cooking lady/washing lady/straight out of bed half asleep lady/yoga lady and I think in that moment he didn't utter words he must have been thinking..."Sheesh, she really has SOME NERVE being seen in public like that!" LOL
I guess that is part of the subversive rebel in me...my girlfriends and actually guy friends too have more than once expressed some reservation/disapproval with my daring sloppy presentation from time to time LOL...no shame, no shame ;) or maybe, it's just sheer cannot-be-bothered laziness ;) It's nice being a COMPLETE SLOB from time to time :)
I also finally received my mail order Chia Seeds(Salvia Hispanica) which are pretty cool. I must admit I'm being sucked into all this latest hype with Functional Superfoods! But I have to say (with some authority) being a Chinese herbalist-to-be, the other FAD superfood right now The Goji Berry(Lycium Barbarum)...DO BELIEVE THE HYPE! It is hypolipidaemic, hypoglycaemic, anti-oxidant, anti-fatigue, immuno-modulating, male fertility facilitating...and in particular, which is exactly why I consumed a quarter of a packet yesterday, it is REALLY GOOD FOR THE EYES: blurry vision, dry eyes, itchy eyes etc etc. However one piece of advice...don't bother with all that marketing propaganda with the expensive juice etc etc...just eat the damn berries- at least you can be sure all the nutrients are still in tact!
And finally, I really enjoyed this post- it's a very enlightening insight into introverts :) And I must say although I probably come across more like a carebear walking under a sky of rainbows lately, I haven't lost that appreciation for dark humour, or people who tell it like it is ;) LOL
cos I often forget and it's not only frustrating, but on reflection, completely self-sabotaging! And with the benefit of hindsight, it seems every time I've gone with the comfort of "practical reason" rather than "untrustworthy" instincts, I ended up S___ Creek!
It's just like that spinning dancer thing...
I can only see it the one way: ANTI-CLOCKWISE! ie I'm completely head, rational, logic, Left-Brain Dominant! I rarely acknowledge intuition, emotions, gut feelings as anything worth paying attention to or having any credibility!
My friends drive me bonkers by insisting this lady spins both ways if you look at her long enough...arghhhhhh!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
So I thought it was time for some trademark "reflection"...since it recently came to my attention that I still have another 900(!) or so days to go!!!
That figure is pretty daunting....I'm just so glad that TCM is Such a Passion - I am also incredibly grateful for such wonderful teachers and mentors that are so readily accessible and who have so much dedication in sharing their knowledge - the quality of the teaching here has been absolutely AWESOME- it is so great when you actually get taught by people who are passionate about what they do- it just makes for such a refreshing and amazing learning experience!
Strangely, in contrast to many people who dream of not ever having to work, I've always had an utter craving for a) an autonomous career b) job/career satisfaction and c) that what I do has meaning in that it serves some purpose to the wider community.
I'm SO GLAD I'VE FOUND IT! As I go further and further into the real-life application of my craft, it just gets better and better and more and more satisfying...I love how everyday is unique, interesting and challenging...and how there is so much scope for me to engage in problem solving and creative thought, and the best feeling of all...when you get Results!!!
Recently, despite still being totally enamoured with herbs, I've come around on the acupuncture and am getting quite comfortable and confident in stabbing people and enjoying formulating my own point prescriptions...which is good because it's still more popular and widely accepted within the western community being a drug-free means of therapeutics...and at the end of the day when you're starting out, it's the acupuncture that's going to be paying the bills!
I'm still hating massage though - I don't feel this is likely to change-it's completely physically exhausting and brain numbingly repetitive: I'm still liking the "import big burly men from China" instead idea...
One drawback with the manual therapies though is when you're trying to treat yourself...it gets a little tricky with many points in unreachable areas and you kind of need to be a bit...ambidextrous. So for my own health I still tend to..."self-medicate" using herbs. As I was putting together my herbs this afternoon, it suddenly occurred to me...what a cool and powerful tool it is to have a) access to the herbs and b) this kind of knowledge...it sure beats an hour wait in a GP's waiting room where you inevitably catch some bug and get sicker, just for a simple prescription!
It also occurred to me...hmmm, perhaps in "self-medicating" I am no better than a druggie?!
Because we think of all of this stuff in terms of "tonics" it was never readily apparent that I'm still ingesting...drugs! And...everyone does it...we're such a vitamin and herbal supplement taking culture...now I have a whole new understanding for how our conventional medical system is so drugged up- you can't expect people to be able to actually be awake and functional doing back to back 16 hour shifts at strange hours without a little "help": THAT'S unnatural!!!
Monday, May 12, 2008
That's why the older I get I must admit, the more I love the company of young kids. They are happy, carefree and innocent most of them not having been exposed to all that lies outside that protective cocoon so don't know how to be any other way. Adults are so jaded.
I must say although I have been incredibly cheery and upbeat despite a lot of this feeling around me, since Chicky's passing yesterday I kinda temporarily succumbed to the prevailing atmosphere.
I'm not sure why it hit me so hard. I couldn't sleep. I think it has a lot to do with it being an echo incredibly coincidentally exactly a year to the day since the tragic and sudden loss of L which was one of the most traumatic experiences in my life to date...
I was recalling this (and all the rest) and thinking to myself...far out I'm only 27- yet I have been through SO much- and it is at this juncture I look around at the other people my age and MAN they are so different!!! I feel massively at odds by comparison which can best be described as a feeling of Oceans Apart. For at least the last 10 years I have felt at least 30 and honestly, I cannot believe I'm not even there yet!
I think the biggest positive that has come out of a fairly challenging and sobering youth is that you gain a much greater perspective on life customary of much, much older people and it certainly helps having this in my profession. The other hugely positive outcome is that you definitely have a much greater threshold in terms of resilience in adversity.
Today in class the lecturer mentioned something I found interesting: Emotions recall memories. By that logic it makes sense that emotional people have great memories. I'd say that'd be me.
And I'll end this large ramble with the one reminder I seem to have to keep leaving with the majority of twenty somethings in crisis, that old cliche: "Happiness comes from within!"
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
...pretty exciting happened...paranormal? I dunno.
But worth documenting...
Towards the end of yoga today when we were at the usual relaxation wind down part with eyes closed, I started seeing a huge bright green-blue big round patch of colour. It stayed and the longer I looked at it then it started getting smaller and turning into a vibrant green! Now when I close my eyes sitting in front of the computer all I can see is...the usual...nothing...black :(
Anyway, I'm not exactly sure what it was but it was...cool and the colours were so pretty!
When I did Reiki 1 one of the women in my class said when she was giving reiki to me she started seeing all these pretty coloured lights when she was touching my heart chakra area. So based on this and some googling, I think the coloured light I saw might have been my own aura!!!
Anyway if so, these are what the colours I saw today mean: aurically speaking: pretty interesting!
Turquoise: indicates dynamic quality of being, highly energized personality, capable of projection, influencing other people. People with turquoise strong point in their Aura can do many things simultaneously and are good organizers. They feel bored when forced to concentrate on one thing. People love bosses with turquoise Auras, because such bosses explain their goals and influence their team rather than demand executing their commands. Turquoise thought is a thought about organizing and influencing others.
Green: restful, modifying energy, natural healing ability. All natural healers should have it. People with a green strong point in their Auras are natural healers. The stronger the green Aura, the better the healer. They also love gardening and usually have a "green hand" - anything grows for them. Being in a presence of a person with a strong and green Aura is a very peaceful and restful experience. Green thought indicates a restful state and healing.
This fascinating information about auras is from this site.
p.s since i'm blabbering already...i found it amusing -THE ONE THING my bro in the states asked my mum to send for his birthday?
VEGEMITE! apparently it's run out everywhere! dunno if the recession is affecting supply?!
...Once a happy little vegemite, always one ;) Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
So it's a good-GREAT-thing: I'm finally able to stop procrastinating and wasting time!
I figure the quicker I get the study out of the way the more time and energy I have away from the desk, away from the computer and in the real live world- hooray for that! :-D
edit: okay just reading over that last bit-hmmm that's a bit of trademark impulsive idealism there...
just looking at the month ahead...
What's it called when you're up to your neck bobbing in water but then you realise you're tired and then you start taking in mouthfuls of water...
yup, that's my next month...figuratively, but in study related stuff...SO. I've decided to take the 30 day challenge...I'm not going to blog any posts for this time!!!
(Bar something REALLY EXCITING that necessitates documenting like alien lifeforms invading earth).
So, I guess that means...Back in June...Until then, Take Care and Ciao! :)
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday is usually my one Dedicated Day Off!^^ Usually, it necessitates spending almost the entire day getting the house back into a decent living state, doing my organic groceries, cooking, and catching up with admin stuff like attending to mail...
But today...was All PLAY! :-)
Met up with E over a bowl of warm congee in Chinatown to catch up on girly goss. Inspected her latest TCM induced war-wounds: was horrified to hear of the latest application of guinea pig acupuncture with literally burning needles!
...arghhhh! It's torturous and inhumane and I stubbornly refuse to attend that class when my turn comes...cos I don't intend to practice in China and I don't need any more pain or scarring and really, I don't see why such ancient methods are either necessary or applicable today. Yeah call me a wuss, but I do have a point!
Meanwhile as I sat eating my congee, a small cockroach ran across the table and the waiter pleasantly got a napkin and squished it right between the bowl and me!...Seriously not impressed...dodgy Chinatown restaurants...you always wonder why it tastes so good?! :-P
In any case, I don't know whether it had anything to do with the treatment of infertility with TCM talk we went to last night, but not only is E starting to seriously consider marrying a guy she was going to dump a few months ago but she's also freaking out like a typical girl on my behalf that I'll be sad and alone and all dried up at age 40 because of my "pickiness"!
It's sad that once you hit your late twenties, society (possibly more so when you're in medical circles) bludgeons into your head the whole biological clock ticking factor...this possibly reflects the numerous engagements and weddings I have heard of in the past week alone and the fact that the vast majority of girls I know have openly admitted they would "settle" by a certain age...
Things like this don't really phase-sorry faze- me though mostly cos I believe in what's meant to be will be but also cos that is one area where TCM really excels and is arguably superior to conventional medicine especially if you don't have the spare $7000-$10000 required per IVF attempt!!(No doubt why the popularity of our practice is burgeoning in this area!)...The other ‘en vogue’ application bringing customers running lately is cosmetic acupuncture - which is significantly cheaper than botox treatments...this area of practice and the type of clientele it attracts SO doesn't interest me though, even though I know it would be an easy money spinner!
Today, the other main highlight I managed to squeeze in to a packed day was an alternative/spiritual/natural/hippie festival cos my mum managed to score me a free ticket! Sheesh, conventional types think I'M such an alternative-hippie-rebel...I had nothing on those there! But it was definitely an interesting couple of hours...and I did get pretty loose-fingered happy- between these kinds of festivals and healthy fine food/natural health stores, I'm pretty uninhibited...hence the $ damage was pretty major today but at least I’m 100% happy with my unplanned :P purchases...(notice how as the day wears on purchases got bolder and bolder...)
1) some tangerine dairy free chocolate(couldn’t resist the ‘festival’ special price!)
2) some chia seed chocolate mud cake fudge(cos not only is the chia good for you but it was irresistibly tasty!)
3) a sparkly sunstone
4) aromatherapy oils
5) an egg-shaped Himalayan salt lamp - LooooooVE!(they generate negative ions and emit a pleasant calming vibe so much so that they can be found in the kids wards of certain hospitals!)
6) a Nada Chair (which my lower back is so grateful to have discovered!)
The most interesting part of the day for me however, was coming across a guy who took photos of auras- I was so fascinated, having read about Kirlian cameras before! This aura taking camera was a further development: not only able to detect the electromagnetic fields emitted by a person by measuring the energy in the meridians, but it also then converted this information to the corresponding colour frequencies in the UV spectrum! Very techy, but VERY COOL! The cost of one of these fandangly contraptions is...$12000 – not so bad but still, how many people could that sustain in starving communities in the developing world?!!
The other mentionable part of the day was being preyed on to do a “stress test” by a member of that ‘infamous Hollywood celebrity religion’! I had to hold these weird silver cylinders that was attached to some severity dial kind of contraption- I think the woman was getting really annoyed cos it just wasn’t working on me...and I even tried really hard to think of people that stress me and stressful situations. I had to apologise: “Sorry I’m just going through a really good time in my life right now- I’m just not stressed!”
I think it peed her off even more cos while she was trying her best to get a verifiable stress reaction from me, the DJ I met a few weeks back happened to happen by: in any case I was buoyed to reflect that I actually randomly BUMP into people these days!! Before I could easily go whole months without Ever bumping into ANYONE such was the sad fact that I never knew people with the same interests as me and did not know a whole lot of people to start with...so maybe I’m making progress so that is good! And then because I was so distracted by said lady and crazy cylinders, I didn’t even have my usual pathetically shy antisocial (that comes across as rude) reaction to the unfamiliar stranger DJ so that was good :)
So that was my most interesting day in a while!
On the study front, things are picking up: I’m starting to settle more, casting away the incredible restlessness that I have been in the grips of these past few months...I’ve been a lot more able to FOCUS(thank you, Si Jun Zi Tang!) and been feeling a lot more motivated which is good cos I figure if you’re going to bother doing something, you may as well do it WELL! (At first, in the interests of not stressing out, I came with the thought of “Stuff it! good grades don’t make a good clinician!” but then it occurred to me they would probably have significant weight when trying to convince the best practitioners in the business to take you on for training!)
...I think I’m just really slow adjusting to change and no doubt life has been really dynamic and probably just a wee bit TOO stimulating and exciting!