The Middle Path

So I managed to get to a screening of documentaries by amateur film makers...was pretty cool being back in that scene- really felt "familiar" and took me back...after all my first love after visual arts started with videography not photography but I think I kind of lapsed into photography cos that suits my lazy nature - I just don't have the patience for countless hours in post production!

Anyway it was inspiring, maybe if I could find like-minded co-conspirators I wouldn't mind getting back into film making...the only thing is both TCM and film making require a huge commitment so having so many interests to dabble in I can only take on one that requires a big commitment so TCM will have to win out for now!

Anyhow by the end of it I was starving so I went in search of food...craving dumplings I rocked up at the shop only for the man to shoo me away and say it was closing time...far out! Anyway it was that point I wished I lived in a bustling 24-7 metropolis like New York or at least somewhere which has more of a night culture like Spain or Asia...cos things not being open and not being able to find decent food at 10pm is THE PITS! So in the end I had to settle for...fast food in a doggy bag-Berk!:P

Anyhow this thought train progressed into the following self analysis and reflection on the fact that I am such a paradoxical creature...and find it so hard to negotiate the polar forces within...as follows...maybe I'm just hard to please!

*I love the worldly, switched on, accessible and cultured nature of a bustling metropolis BUT I also love the wide open spaces, care and friendly intimacy of a small regional town.

*I need ALOT of personal space and take real comfort in alone time however at the same time I really need the constant mental stimulation that you can only get from interaction with a whole variety of people.

*I really feel the need to engage with creative dreamers but at the same time it can sometimes get a little airy fairy and I appreciate a bit of hard headed rationalism, groundedness and appreciation for everyday sensibilities in the people around me.

*East-West: the asians say I'm a pathetic excuse for an asian, the westerns think I'm asian but then get disappointed when they realise I'm not exotic, agreeable and subservient after all.

*Factual Realism vs Dreamy Possibility - can they really co-exist?!

*Logical and apathetic Detachment vs Passionate and Enthusiastic Engagement

Eh...I can hear the voice of friends...You think waaaay too much! LOL

Tricky

Eccentric_Heart_Nature_Impulse

Conventional_Head_Logic_Restraint

Maintaining Equilibrium = Tricky

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary...

Doodle excerpt from bone dry western medical science prac manual...this is me imagining being a scarecrow...

Someone's dreaming of The Country Life ;) !


hmmm...this is a typical reflection of the mesh of polarities within...

I love the rustic, cleanliness, beauty and slow simplicity of the country life yet at the same time I'm an urban chick...I need culture, refinement, informed people, geographical convenience, new ideas...

on that note I think the one photo I took today is appropriate to the theme...I call this one

City Microcosm: Stench Stacks...

actually I took it in celebration of the fact that there was a rare Blue sky! LOL

hmmm...apart from regional vs metro, on the subject of polarities:

here are some others that are always playing tug-of-war within:

Western me vs Eastern me
Practical/Rational vs Dreamy/Idealistic
Impulsive/Spontaneous vs Cautious/Deliberated
Need for Personal SPACE/freedom/independence vs Need for close, meaningful one-on-one relationships

Old vs Young
Antisocial Introspective Introvert vs Extrospective(is that a word?) genuine interest/curiosity/fascination with other people and capacity to be a social butterfly(subject to energy levels and right mood LOL)

At least I've worked out the geographical conflict bit...

Keep two abodes!!:-D

With the cost of property here...hmmm just need to GET RICH to be able to make it a reality...Working on it...slowly! lol