Oceans Apart

One thing I don't like about the colder months is that everywhere people around tend to be all doom and gloom. I don't know if that is mainly a cityfolk thing though (I think the overbearing cynicism might be.)

That's why the older I get I must admit, the more I love the company of young kids. They are happy, carefree and innocent most of them not having been exposed to all that lies outside that protective cocoon so don't know how to be any other way. Adults are so jaded.

I must say although I have been incredibly cheery and upbeat despite a lot of this feeling around me, since Chicky's passing yesterday I kinda temporarily succumbed to the prevailing atmosphere.

I'm not sure why it hit me so hard. I couldn't sleep. I think it has a lot to do with it being an echo incredibly coincidentally exactly a year to the day since the tragic and sudden loss of L which was one of the most traumatic experiences in my life to date...

I was recalling this (and all the rest) and thinking to myself...far out I'm only 27- yet I have been through SO much- and it is at this juncture I look around at the other people my age and MAN they are so different!!! I feel massively at odds by comparison which can best be described as a feeling of Oceans Apart. For at least the last 10 years I have felt at least 30 and honestly, I cannot believe I'm not even there yet!

I think the biggest positive that has come out of a fairly challenging and sobering youth is that you gain a much greater perspective on life customary of much, much older people and it certainly helps having this in my profession. The other hugely positive outcome is that you definitely have a much greater threshold in terms of resilience in adversity.

Today in class the lecturer mentioned something I found interesting: Emotions recall memories. By that logic it makes sense that emotional people have great memories. I'd say that'd be me.

And I'll end this large ramble with the one reminder I seem to have to keep leaving with the majority of twenty somethings in crisis, that old cliche: "Happiness comes from within!"