Different.

Since about the age of 11 or 12 I've always known I'm "different". I figured it's a common enough self-perception around that age and I figured it's just something I would "grow out of" after my teens...alas so many years later...I feel just as "different" as ever!!!

Anyway that thought just came up when someone randomly brought up the premise that everybody "puts on a social front".

The "everybody" part I disagree with but I had noticed back in the big wide world again that facades are a very common way of life but I always just attributed it to people who lacked self confidence, or occasionally people acting appropriate to a context/situation, rather than...Sadly, Social Front is The Norm! :-p

I disagreed because I know for me, no matter what the case, I never do the whole "facade" thing...I think putting on a facade is a totally different concept to having more reservation with showing aspects of your character in reference to context/appropriateness/familiarity...but then I realised...not putting on a social front: THAT is more of an abnormality!

Just cos I don't do them AT ALL, people who do facades really irk me possibly because generally I see straight through them so I never understand the point - probably why I'm not the biggest fan of people...

maybe that is The common thread of all people who love animals? ...at least you always know you're getting real and sincere interaction.

In any case, I guess the fact that social fronts are rife in society and the norm, it just shows how much emphasis humans put on having social acceptance.

In any case, now that my family has "allowed me" to become the adult I am, I realise WOW I don't just feel old inside secretly anymore, I act it too- I feel a lot more in common with my interactions with people older or much, much younger but not my own age. I think when you've been chronically ill from youth you are way more advanced in maturity because you possess a Life Perspective people your own age just don't- hence I feel kinda bad but often when I interact with people in my own age group I find myself abhorring my snobbery of thought..."what babies!"

S, some kind of soul friend on the opposite side of the world who the Universe granted when I expressed a wish for a penpal I'll still be writing to at 60 ;)

also feels similarly displaced (more from being in a long term relationship from youth which is another premature maturer and a foundation of which I also share), she says she generally can't stand people in our age group cos the things they talk about, their concerns just seem so trivial. I have to agree there...in any case I am SO GRATEFUL for the minority of mature interactions I do get...it keeps me sane and still having a love of humans!

I don't know, if I could turn back time...maybe it would have been good to be young and ignorant and grow up normally, rather than be such an old soul in such a young looking body from such a young age- cos really, it just doesn't work well with all the preconceived ideas humans assign to age...