When your thoughts come back to you...

So I was observing some people my age cavorting like they just graduated kindergarten and thinking inside:

"*sigh*, I SO can't relate to people my age-they're SO YOUNG (and such Teenyboppers)!!!" : (

Later, I went to pick up some CDs^^ from the postoffice...

While standing in the line an old man who could have been my grandpa started talking to me... after I transacted he came up and asked me if I would fancy to go for a coffee?!

WOW. Now that's a first LOL

The idea "dirty old man" didn't even cross my mind which is what would have crossed lots of my cynical friends minds.

In any case, as always when strangers randomly approach you on the spur of the moment it's always quite surprising and I'm never able to react so usually do a runner but with him cos obviously he was so much older than me I knew he wasn't just some sleazy pervert so I replied with what came naturally-honesty: "Sorry I've got a lot of things to get done". When I saw his face fall, I immediately regretted it but the long nurtured belief of "stranger danger" inside and lack of social practice from being in geographic isolation for the past year and always never walking around by myself all the years before that so I couldn't do anything about it...

Later I thought, he's probably old and lonely...I could have at least spared 15 minutes :( And, hmmm with my recent track record he's probably depressed too! Oh well, at least this time we're both locals so maybe I'll bump into him again...

I think I gotta proactively work on overcoming this fear of strangers thing- I KNOW I've missed out on some opportunities for cool friends etc...but I'm just so busy and it's too dangerous for me to be out and about unnecessarily once it gets dark cos I can't even get a cab to get home!

In any case I felt I had more to talk about with the grandpa than most people my age...I wonder what that says about me?!

That's it. Resolution: next random stranger encounter if they're sane, decent and not inebriated I'm gonna positively engage...need to face my fears!

Good On Ya Cuz!

hehe another "crazy" Aussie expression for you internationals...I guess I should translate then:

It is a colloquial way of saying "Well Done, Cousin!"

I found this out a couple of days ago-it's pretty impressive even for My family of Super Achievers...

My 26 year old cousin is written up in some almanac bible thing called something like "Great Australian Women 2008" for her contributions to Law - no kidding...and the funniest part is that the section about her reads just as long as Nicole Kidman's section! So now she has forever entered this Nation's history and at such a young age can only keep adding more :)

Tee Hee...these types of men make me LAUGH!!!

You know the types I'm talking about- the people who were born Adonises and KNOW IT ie: they feel they're doing you a favour when you open your eyes and have them in your presence rather than the short stumpy dude with bad acne who sits in the corner and hangs his head so that nobody will notice his acne is especially embarrassingly bad today...

I'm not denying that some of these people aren't attractive...just their self-adoration is SO BLATANT and OVERT that you can almost hear that voice in their heads on repeat saying "Im so Hot I'm so Hot I'm so Hot"....people like this crack me up!!! I find it genuinely Hi-Lar-Ious!!! Surely, they could exercise a bit more restraint, humility, grace - at least in public...

Lucky that Smart Girls ;) don't get suckered in by men like this especially when they don't have the mind and heart to back it up!!!

Attachment: the root of all...

Suffering!

This is probably one of the most salient messages I get from Buddhist philosophy...

I've finally managed to completely let go of my quarter life/mid-life crisis and related guilt I'd been subconsciously holding in and...I've never felt so unfettered in my life! Thus, Being Happy seems a cinch!

I think when one can rid themselves of attachments it is so easy to feel Inner Peace. It is especially easy to get into this state after a practice of qigong and I must say it helps with my empath problem so I'm more resilient to taking on and absorbing other people's emotions.

I really don't know why more people don't take up this amazing tool for self healing and health maintenance. I really believe if more people did this, they wouldn't be so completely burdened by so many problems which I think modern life tremendously amplifies.

Qigong helps you to detach, be completely in the present, feel nothingness...

And when one is detached from ideas, persons, material things, ego...well nothing can really trouble them!

Since I've been such a depressed/people with problems MAGNET of late I think I'm reasonably qualified to observe that:

Unhappy people tend to feel a void in their lives and look OUTSIDE themselves to try and satiate the "Hole" - typically binge drinking or eating, needing a partner, escapism...well, the truth is you can never be content this way cos-like the age old cliche- Happiness comes from WITHIN!

And I can honestly say, from learning all these things first hand(the hard way), the only person you can rely on is yourself! So start Soul Searching and Helping Yourself! I'll allow myself this seemingly flippant insensitivity and also: "My ears need a vacation!!"

Now all the numerous trials and tribulations I have undergone which has been ALOT relative to my age...wow the mysterious destined nature of it all which I had always pondered is all becoming very clear now...

it is exactly what experience I needed to have under my belt in order to fulfil my life purpose of helping others to heal...sometimes I look back and wish, damn why can't I have just learnt it all by reading self-help books? LOL But it's not the same, without the first hand experience you don't have that vital compassion and understanding...

Here is a card I happened to randomly pick up which I really like. Note the Ducks- they're like my animal totem or something :)

"Bed Slug"

How do you like my new term? ;)

It came to me that that's exactly what I am...after only a half day of classes I crashed out unable to move for 2 hours then had a shower and promptly escaped under the covers with my laptop....here I'll probably sit out the rest of the night. I know...disgusting.

The weather has been FREAKIN' FREEZING! And my poor little uninsulated body is really feeling the trauma of it all- I'd been using the EAT EAT EAT method but I think I've reached a plateau and now I just feel COLD COLD COLD, uncomfortably so! Last night I got caught out in this blistering wind chill slosh of rain...how hard is it to get a cab in the city at night?! Grrrrr....

I guess that's why I was all sniffly and exhausted today. I'm tired I don't think I can do this classes every day, out every second night thing....I guess it'll stop when the work piles up though- by then it'll be beautiful weather and I'll be grumbling I don't get to go out enough!

Housekeeping announcement: Something is playing Havoc with my communications!

I just had the very disturbing revelation that my mscherrylane email is stuffing up much more than I knew...not to mention my phone was out several days last week, I have mysterious comments that I can read but then when I go to publish them they disappear! and then my other email also stuffed up which resulted in a very cranky friend who cooked me dinner and was waiting only for me to be a no show. Meanwhile I've been cranky thinking my friends are so slack- why are all my communications stuffing up? Must be astrological transit!

anyhow if you haven't heard from me for a VERY LONG TIME chances are I never received your email...so please drop me a Hi! so I know you're not dead- cheers :)

On another note, I'm feeling that the universe is full of love doing the rounds. I've gotten more than my fair share of love from the universe lately and I'm enjoying giving it back! With this closed circle model, there's no running out of the good stuff! :D

Thank God for Dreamers...Like Me! ; )

leonardo da vinci's flying machine sketches

Just remember if it weren't for Dreamers...

things we might not have today!

So to the cynic types out there...

Don't forget what is possible when your only limit is your imagination!!! :-)

I'm so Happy!

The Joy is like uncontained bubbles...hence emits itself as a random giggle every so often like a totally mad woman! HAHA.

The reason for such joy was so simple and predictable:

Waking up to Picture Perfect weather and a morning stroll along a Picture Perfect Australian Beach! And then a quick shop of Fabulous Fresh Produce at a really great food store :)

I'll try to be brief cos I'm just home for a quick shower and lunch then have to make roads to my first medical qigong class with a Master! Excited :)

The other can't contain exciting news: I scored a FREE nearly brand new compatible digital standard lens for my DSLR that's coming in Xmas so since I already have compatible film lenses it's looking like I'll only need to buy the body! :)

And my first Postcrossing card hit it's mark and the recipient wrote to tell me she liked it^^!

And yesterday I met a Lama! :) And I got the most BEWDIFUL Tibetan Singing Bowl in the whole shop and it has the most addictive, intoxicatingly beautiful vibration! LOL, I ended up spending waaaay, waaaay more than I had planned to for it but in the end I justified that it was a one-off and helping a good cause(Tibetan Community) so was like a bonus form of making a donation to a cause that resonates with me...and in the end the lure of that bowl was magnetic especially when peddled by someone with such a nice vibe to them- I was just like the snake to the snake charmer-he could have asked for anything and I would have done it!

In any case the bowl is the same size and shape as a Buddha's bowl, has a very healing pitched vibration to it and has pretty engravings- with the inside being of Padma Sam Bava-an Indian Buddhist Master who preached Buddhism in Tibet 1000 years ago...

Carving detail...sorry best it gets even after Photoshop- this won't be an issue when I get my DSLR though :-))))


So the first thing I did when I got home was gong the bowl several times and try to get the correct pitch...a major surprise revelation is that Tibetan Singing Bowls aren't actually that easy to "play" when you're trying to draw out the vibratory sound- requires a little skill and a lot of practice to get the correct pitch and a smooth tone. Haha by the end of this week my neighbours should be convinced they're living in a monastery: hopefully it'll get them to Behave Better!!!

I'm totally Alice down the rabbit hole-suckered further and further into all this New Age stuff...It's just So Me- it's so great Being Free To Be Me...Finally!!!

There's actually one more exciting thing I found out which I deem especially blogworthy so STAY TUNED because it requires a bit more care so I'll leave it for later: there always seems to be plenty to write when I'm away from my blog for more than 12 hours total addict that I am LOL!...Tata for now and hope you're enjoying your weekend! :-)))

EDIT: just checking my email! Wow...Can the day Get Any Better?!!! Besides scoring the free digital lens from a friend here, Scott tells me he got sent two cordless shutters (for DSLR) so has kindly offered to give me the spare!!!! THAAAANK YOUUU! Oh the universe is being so nice-is this Karma or what? It's so nice after the draining, challenging and depressing last week! okay REALLY GOTTA GO NOW-later alligators!

A Meditation: Exotic Symbolism No.1

So...I finally got to test my every hour you sleep BEFORE midnight is worth like...double! theory.

By 8pm I was completely zonked- three hours later- wow I feel GREAT! It is really true- I feel like I've slept 8 hours or something- I actually feel refreshed :) But now my sleeping patterns are really, really screwed...

But maybe this will work once semester restarts. Because my brain definitely needs that reprieve before it can process even more information from the day...and I remember my high school biology teacher saying that your brain is actually most efficient (at least for retaining information and study purposes) around 11pm :)

This evening being so exhausted I also got to test my don't cook just eat a sandwich for dinner thing...and, I think it's definitely gonna stay! It's not that bad actually- I saved SO MUCH TIME and it tasted pretty good to me. I had good quality grain toast with super duper quality extra virgin olive oil with fresh organic baby spinach and lashing of sea salt on one slice and an awesome beetroot and sumac relish I got from an upmarket deli with the olive oil on the other.

Then I had some fresh squeezed orange juice and a tub of mango and passionfruit probiotic yoghurt LOL- felt so healthy- actually felt really good- I think my body really needed the cleanse (you inspired me S! yes you :) cos I've been so exhausted lately from toxin overload courtesy of chainsmoking neighbour...stressed city people are The Pits!

In any case, further developments from the day with many thanks to Scott for helping resolve my indecisiveness...there will be an exciting new addition to the family come Christmas!!! Okay, so my niece or nephew arrives September but I was actually referring to My Camera Family LOL.

My 'Family' consists of the long-ago retired too expensive to use 'Buddy'(film), 'Neo'(My Very Ill Digital Prosumer)...what will I call Camera No3(a DSLR equivalent of Buddy)?!! LOL several months to think about it- so can't wait to be able to take satisfying shots again!

Anyhow...last random thing...My Ceramic Coaster project inspired by Caroline and the work of Masaru Emoto and Himalayan salt lamps...unfortunately it has to be canned...cos the clay studio in the community centre isn't making money and has stopped opening its doors...

But they have all the preordered lumps of clay and the working kiln just sitting there and everything!!! It did cross my mind to take a page out of my lawyer-soon-to-be-barrister cousin's book and take it up with the art director on behalf of all the typically low income and student types like myself...but then I thought with semester restarting I should save my energy and just let it be...need to learn to refrain from scattering my energies all over the place and focus ...but in any case my mum was really enthused over the project so helped me select and write up a bunch of pretty characters for my personal coaster set...I don't know Chinese so to me it's just exotic symbolism to look at but I chose all the characters based on qualities or attributes I think I need more of in my life ;)

It's the character for HUMILITY - I felt I needed to remember this especially in light of getting *a bit of a big head* from being told "you're a really 'interesting' person" several times this week - haha.

The Universe Behaves in Mysterious Ways...

WOW. Yet another "sad" person randomly came into my life! This last week or so has been...Unbelieveable! I just want to tell the Universe:

I get it I get it! You can stop now! I know this is one of my life purposes to help these people...I think I have enough now, okay?

LOL.

Apart from that, since yesterday it's been revelation upon revelation of miscommunications with my real life friends- clarifications for why they seemed to go AWOL- emails not received, some strange bug with my mobile so they couldn't call through for several days, phone gone swimming in apple juice and hence my number got lost etc etc...

Bizarre...so I wasn't being "neglected" after all! :-) LOL Maybe the Universe just played havoc blackholing my normal communications so I could focus on all the depressive cases and not miss any "important messages" it was sending me!

*sigh*

On Depression Part 2

I think it ironic that the more I try to find Happy people, the more cases of depression I seem to be uncovering...I was describing (okay, whingeing) to my friend my draining past week re:depressed people overload when she just candidly admitted she was "one of those" to the extent of turning to drink and actually wanting to kill herself...and still has her moments! I was truly shocked...it was only then that it really hit me, wow this depression thing is waaaay more prevalent than ever I could have imagined...at the rate I'm observing- I'm guessing 8-9/10 people have had a major depressive episode in their life?

I wonder if I had known her any longer whether my intuitive antennae would have picked it up-if not, this is truly scary how it can completely pass 'under the radar'!

All this pain often goes untreated cos sufferers are too ashamed to tell people, seek help...they keep all this pain so well hidden! And then I realised, wow rather than sighing with despair and wanting to head for the hills, I should actually feel privileged that people would actually share these things with me!

To me it doesn't matter how many times I've heard it :P but it is always shocking when people so seemingly rational with such happy seeming lives confide that they're entertaining suicidal thoughts. Cos to me, straight up: not an option...maybe it's partially what kind of disposition you're born with or maybe it is partially a result of life perspective gained through having gone through more than your average bear but...really I don't believe there is anything SO BAD as to warrant taking one's own life...okay maybe in rare cases of human vegetation similar to Jean Luc Bauby etc. In cases like these I see Euthanasia (if so requested) as the Ultimate Compassion, but for things of a purely emotional basis I really believe it's just a) either traumatic event induced or b) brain chemicals out of whack...for both types I think holistic medicine is very effective and unfortunately sooo underutilised! I've seen multiple cases now of patients solely on western meds for both types of Depression and am to date, incredibly unimpressed- they may temporarily patch a leaking hole but the hole keeps growing bigger!!!

Now the prevalence factor amongst so many people I personally know is starting to really sink in, I definitely have renewed vigour to get deep and dirty into it and work out how to combat it....I think I just need to draw my boundaries better, lose this "empath" affliction and learn how to be a "detached observer"...so maybe that means only treating strangers and referring friends to a colleague...sometimes I guess that's what you need in order to properly do your thing!

Eh....Suck.

The Best Friend got a Girlfriend. Good News...

Except for the fact that The Girlfriend Stipulated:
Rule No.1 The Best Friend is no longer allowed to hang with me.

I get it. *sigh*

Just gonna take some 'adjusting' to the idea...

"I wish I were a real boy..."

Since as long as I can remember I've always mixed it with the boys. My first ever friend was a boy...called Donald. He gave me this toy train which is one of my prize possessions...circa 1982-vintage I tell you!
My second ever friend was a boy too...Jonno from playschool. He came and smacked a big kiss on me when the teacher asked him for a kiss. I don't remember much else except that he had big red lips that were forever curled upwards...so all I remember is that he looked like a clown!

My third ever friend was a boy too...called Nicholas. He liked swallowing bits of gravel and I think he liked eating the contents of what he found in his nose which even back then I thought was pretty disgusting...we used to play Voltron and Thundercats and he was the leader out of the pack of boys plus one-me. I can't quite remember which toon we were enacting but I remember we all used to argue over who got to be the black and red one cos they were the leaders, the strongest and the coolest ones. I remember always feeling frustrated that I got denigrated to being the blue or the pink ones cos they were the female characters- I remember once I got my first girlfriend, Kim, what a relief it was to 'pass over' this burden LOL

So those three boys were the foundations of my earliest socialisation...Probably why to this day I still find women much more cryptic to understand and requiring a lot more effort on my part...

For as long as I can remember I've always been a tomboy and I've always wanted to do the fun things boys got to do. Although I really wanted to play the drums at one stage, the only 'boyly' thing I got away with in my youth was a dress boycott and a pink boycott which actually lasted very many years- I remember always standing out at kids parties and even whole suburbs cos I was the only girl not in a pretty frilly dress or stereotypical feminine colours and prints. It was t-shirts, cords and bubblegummers all the way for me :-)! I was a good, obedient kid but that standard dress code was the sole thing I had the nerve to dig my heels in on :) cos all that feminine attire was in my mind "wish-the-ground-would-open-up-and-swallow-me" Embarrassing!

In any case where is this post going? I guess it's a sweet trip down memory lane...

Or maybe it is a commentary on my asian cultural upbringing and how there is an inherent chauvinism in it with its rigid understandings and expectations of the gender roles. When my mate M told me about his recent snow trip how three girls went along and so he felt the need to "look after them", I was like..."um, why do you need to look after them- they're big girls perfectly capable of looking after themselves and each other!"

This attitude reminded me very much of my parents...now that I'm (happily) single again, they're constantly worrying about me-arghhh! I know the only thing that will really put their minds in their old age at ease is to see me with somebody to "look after me"...my mum is very much the traditionalist believing every woman should get married and start a family and hence career is not important and that women who aspire to have careers and be financially independent is perhaps "overly ambitious"... I don't know. More than ever, I feel very much part of the 'independent' womens revolution. And, plus I'm not sure if marriage and babies are suited to everyone...

I don't know how this post came about but possibly because I got to talk to a bunch of My Mates recently after being relatively girlied out of late and remembered how much... a "boyly" girl still appreciates having the company of Mates and being able to join in to do Boy things :-)!

It's kinda trickier the older you get though :P At least now, in contrast to when I was a kid, I finally see the redeeming features of being a female: what I now recognise as the 'superior' gender LOL, but I think I'll always have that inner boy child within :)

Making Fun of Multiple Name Ambiguity

I loved this sillyblogthing which Caroline had on her blog. So anyway, hers looked pretty accurate to me so I decided to give it a go- across all my names...

especially considering I'm in the grips of total multiple name confusion...

I'm very aware of the fact that I respond differently depending on what people call me...

Results? Interesting!

The Recipe For Zhen 3 parts Passion 2 parts Ingenuity 1 part Flair Splash of Dignity Serve over ice The Recipe For My Kid Name (which all old friends and exotic foreigners call me just cos it's easy to say) 3 parts Drive 2 parts Compassion 1 part Silliness Splash of Warmth Finish off with an olive The Recipe For (My professional name which colleagues and patients know me by) 3 parts Compassion 2 parts Uniqueness 1 part Recklessness Splash of Devilry Chug! The Recipe For My official birth name 3 parts Laughter 2 parts Beauty 1 part Originality Splash of Passion Shake vigorously The Recipe For mscherrylane 3 parts Energy 2 parts Sweetness 1 part Intuition Splash of Poise Finish off with whipped cream

Haha believeable? Eh...it's all a total load of crap cos if you put the same name in again, it'll give you something different...anyway 5 minutes of fun and games for the day :)

Indecisiveness

Sometimes my dominant run of Libran planetary influences come to the fore and I'm struck by indecision. It's times like these when I'm so grateful for my bossy, know exactly what is good for me friends...

Damn, the two I need most who I trust 100% to make up my mind for me are both out of town! With these two I barely need to blink- if they say "jump" I'm just on autopilot-I'll just do it.

Hopeless I know. LOL.

Now that's what I call A PIE!

The best part about Winter is that I'm constantly starving which makes me more motivated to cook and when I feel like cooking, food always seems to turn out tastier, even if they're first time experiments!

So last time I saw A, she told me she was going to make a pie- so the mere mention of the word connected with my stomach which insisted to my brain that it needed one...

so the tired ol' muscles decided to cooperate and finally got around to it this weekend =)

I can't believe in the past we actually used to bother rolling the dough, cutting the pastry to fit and making a proper base, sides and top! WHAT A WASTE OF TIME...so I took my friend's advice and just used the sheet and squashed it at the top to make a "dumpling" LOL

The filling was concocted via imagination on the spur of the moment...beef mince, garlic, onions, pepper, red wine, Vegemite (secret ingredient hehe), tomato paste, sugar,salt, cornflour water...When it was done I mixed some frozen peas through it and left it to cool. Prior I had steamed some chopped potatoes and chopped carrots, so I put the steamed carrots on next and then the potato mash which I mixed with some parsley...

Then I baked it for about half an hour...tasted pretty good!!! I rarely get time but I love making pies from scratch- you can be sure it's all good stuff and no nasty surprises- I remember back in high school we dissected a pie from the school canteen for our food tech class and then filtered the contents- once the majority sauce had gone, the leftover "meat" was all gristle... I've never eaten one of those kinds of pies since...actually one of my earliest food memories as a child was finding a maggot in my frozen pie- between these two experiences, the fact I'm still an omnivore is surprising...not to mention the fact I still love my pies! Kids are great-so resilient- I think I'd be more traumatised if I found a maggot in my pie now!

In any case, a good pie is really hard to find...the last really top notch one I had I think was in Fox Glacier, New Zealand-however most things probably taste extra special after a helicopter landing on top of a glacier^^!!!

Rare nice homey weekend this weekend- I managed to finish my shelf which was impressively strong(very pleased-now no excuse for not getting all my crap off the floor!), wrote to some penpals, got some black pants and some silver chains for half price :) (usually I never benefit from sale season so happy about that), watched Grosse Pointe Blank- loved it- the script and soundtrack were really standout!!! 4.5 stars - now I finally understand why pretty well all my girlfriends are John Cusack obsessed- Joan Cusack was really good in this film too- most people call this movie "witty"- I guess that's the kind of humour I enjoy the most!

I'm still really exhausted though and still need a bit more of this dedicated me-time to recharge from the past week- my penpal tells me she is the same in terms of getting emotionally drained via others- she introduced me to a term I'd not heard before- apparently we're called "empaths"!

Blessed ESP moments

At 11am this morning I was still in bed head still hungover from a slightly dramatic week...haven't had one for a while but possibly attributable to the full moon- I'm very sensitive to full moons, really. (Hopefully I can say that without sounding crazy).

Anyway, at 11am this morning I was awoken by sharp rapping at my door. First thought- "oh great it's the fire brigade and I need to evacuate and I'm still in my cutesy PJs...let's just keep lying here."

It didn't stop so I had to haul ass out and to my amazement it was my dad with exactly what I needed. It was really bizarre cos I had been thinking I had to call him about it and explain the whole situation but he just TOTALLY had come about the same idea via ESP!!! I guess it's not that amazing knowing his starsign's Cancer- they're pretty intuitive-actually I think I get my sixth sense from him...

I love ESP moments ^^. It's just SUCH A RELIEF when you have those rare people in the world that just get you -no lengthy justifications, verifications, clarifications or ego headbutting needed. THANK GOD. The week is looking up already :)

Funny Antidote

From R: it's pretty good!!!

Lost in the City

It's been a pretty heavy week. From hearing so many sad stories and problems. And the thing is in this concrete jungle there is no escape...if anything it's claustrophobic and amplifies the heaviness. After significant amounts of it, I start to absorb and internalise other people's pain- empathic resonance perhaps?

It's quite bizarre....in any case it's making me reconsider wanting to specialise in clinical depression-perhaps I'm too sensitive. It kind of feels like people "feed" off me until I feel completely drained. I think that is why I react so strongly to being in natural environments- that is the only thing that can truly "recharge" me- by connecting with the natural world. I am a child of nature :) after all.

So I was doing the hermit withdrawal thing trying to recoup some of this lost energy...I can't believe I even passed up my big chance to meet a world class pianist backstage in favour of staying home with some funny dvds! I just didn't think I could take bumping into one more depressed problem laden person...

I was so tempted to indulge my whim to go fly back out to be with the whales...an aside, I always feel oddly displaced in the city amongst cityfolk...it always feels like my energy is being sapped not only from the people but from the environment! Actually I'm really starting to wonder...are there any HAPPY HAPPY people in the city?! :P

p.s actually one good thing...I accidentally bumped into the patient I spent the most amount of time on counselling and consoling this year...I haven't seen her in a couple of months but I was so surprised to see her smiling and vibrant- such a Huge turnaround! It was kinda nice to know that I had some small role to play in that :)

Too many Chicks have "Back-Ups"

I was talking to this chick the other night and asking how her set-up boyfriend was going (I'm pretty cynical about these "arranged" things). But it has been a year.

Anyway knowing she's a clucky one, a bit more prodding from me to see if she's ready to settle down yet and she comes out with a resounding No: "I haven't met 'the one' yet."

And then I couldn't help myself: "Um, why are you still dating this guy then if he's obviously not 'the one'?"

SO MANY chicks do this and I guess plenty of guys do too (but I just don't know any).

Maybe I'm really straight forward but I just don't get it! I feel really bad for the sucker hanging around wasting his life on someone who consciously chooses of their own free will to be with him only until someone better comes along.

Are there no people with any integrity left in the world?!

Or is there nothing that strikes more fear in some peoples hearts than being "alone"?!

And hence being with ANYBODY is better than being with NOBODY. And hence having a "back-up" is just 'playing it safe' so in their minds it's perfectly warranted, justified and ethical.

Poor sucker.

Even if they do end up getting married I'll always think of him as the "back-up" guy.

But maybe that's cos I'm the -some say- 'overidealistic' and 'unrealistic' romantic fatalist. And perhaps all that waiting is equally sad LOL ;)

But I'd rather be 'alone' than in a substandard relationship. ANY DAY :)

J'adore!

This is off my Song Blog...but I love this clip THAT MUCH I had to post it here too so noone would miss out! :)

Music "Je Reviens" by AUTOUR DE LUCIE. Animation by ROCINANTE. (Who is this mysterious Rocinante - I love his/her/their work!)



p.s the song is off the album FAUX MOUVEMENT which I'm having alot of trouble obtaining (this has happened so many times!) So I'm going to have to work my connections to get someone in France to buy it and post it over if I don't want to wait 3-4 months...if any music buffs are reading this and know any good online sites where I can circumvent such inconveniences to acquire my more electic tastes, could you please let me know? Thanks!

The Results are in!

So results were released today...and it was a pleasant relief...definitely was a community effort though from my dad ferrying me my mum's tubs of home-cooked food once a week when it got really busy;
to G&P helping me prepare for prac exams;
to L donating her body to the prac exam; to A giving me last minute lessons on physical anatomy;
to Hippie Boy's ongoing stress relief with massages, food, motivating chats and comforting hugs;
to E and her dad rescuing me at the last moment from flunking my massage prac when I got so sick I couldn't move and giving me "revival" herbs and E in her usual directive way telling me "This is what you have to do" and showing me how to do it....not to mention giving me tips and study materials along the way...

No thanks to my chain smoking neighbours though...that was what made it such a tough and sickly first half in the first place! You'll notice I've stopped whingeing and whining on that for a bit - I paid a few more visits to "have a chat" with these neighbours but strangely, they also seem to have calmed down of their own accord. (This is partially why I said I'm going through a mysteriously favourable astrological transit right now).

It's always a good feeling to get good results after you feel like you've pushed yourself through a sieve just to survive...more so though since because I'm very aware of all the sacrifices made for me to be able to do this course. I guess it is also partially a matter of self respect and personal standards. When I was younger I just wanted to be different- the typical youngest child rebellion- and I really believed my parents were unhealthily one-eyed (like most immigrant parents) about good grades. Now that I am actually studying of my free will something I enjoy though it's totally different, I actually want to do well partially to keep up the family tradition of success...

The last day or so I've gradually eased into a state of quiet repose for the rest of my holidays doing responsible things like finally tackling the piles of clutter left over from the move, cooking good nutritious meals, getting plenty of rest, attending the last 3 months of postal backlog, and building a new bookshelf to get my study all organised before the start of another harrowing semester. The Calm Before The Storm...

It's a nice change to be struck with this burst of steady and quiet responsibility in contrast to the usual frenetic fits of flighty chaos and overexcitability.

What the heck, let's have some fun with this ;)

Whenever I ask people what kind of Asian I am they inevitably look at me like it's some kind of trick question and refuse to answer. The only reason why I ask is because people seem to be getting increasingly more wrong as I grow older!

And partially cos I'm sick of Asians asking (almost accusingly) "What kind of Asian are you?!" and saying "Asians don't have freckles!" (yeah they do if they spend enough time in the sun without the trademark umbrellas!! *roll eyes*)

And then the Whiteys think I'm not full asian. And even the Eurasians think I'm one of them!

Which is all quite bizarre seeming to me cos I always thought I looked full asian! Until about the age of 18 or 19 or so I think people always at least knew I was a full asian. I guess it's the harsh Australian sun- makes your hair less black and you get more freckles! But then I'm also quite pale too so unless I wear the fisherman's hat and carry the big camera bag nobody ever mistakes me for Japanese anymore either-haven't had any friendly "Konnichiwas" for a good 5 or 6 years now! Or maybe it's the demeanour...

I still do get a heck of a lot of older Chinese people speaking Chinese to me though but that is usually by default cos I'm the only person with black hair in a room and they can't speak any English...this is always really embarrassing and even when I rack my brains back to TAFE Mandarin Chinese Level 1, if put on the spot I still can't remember how to say in Chinese "I don't speak Chinese!"...so shameful!

Anyway...hehe...the next time some sucker asks me my ethnicity I'm going to say something exotic but believable like I'm half Indonesian, a quarter Chinese and a quarter Dutch. And the next time I might get more daring and say I'm Half Burmese and Half Irish...and I'll see how outrageous I can get before they realise I'm totally B.S-ing!

Cheap Thrills...Damn, if only I were that exotic and interesting :P

My Favourite Kind of Day: The ME VEG Day...

Also Known As, The "I have no agenda day" :-)

It's a completely free whatever I want to do day, and if I want to sit all day in my pjs in bed so be it! :) LOL so indulgent!!!

I NEED these kinds of days every now and then...Or rather I find I go through a busy stretch I get so exhausted-crash- and can't do anything else. Hence it's other name: "the write-off unproductive day" :-P

I've been pretty busy lately - although I rarely remember what I actually got up to unless I check my blog! lol

In any case when asked the specifics, I have no idea what I do all the time but I never seem to have "spare time"...and I generally always know what I'm doing for the month ahead...

Since I found out every hour you rest before midnight is doubly effective than those post, I've been trying really hard to get to bed early ie 1030pm to get into a good sleeping routine before term starts but I've been failing miserably. I just don't see how it's possible when you get home on average say 630-7pm...you cook from scratch, eat, clean up, shower-it's already 1030pm! Physically, I also think it's really hard to sleep early when you're a natural night owl.

Once school kicks in I'll need to squeeze in study on top of that and then get up early every day: a regular civilised sleeping routine with a decent number of hours is just not possible when you have so many assessments every single week! No wonder I'm always totally and completely plastered and dysfunctional during semester...

Obviously somewhere along the line I'm highly inefficient (probably the cooking from scratch and cleaning without the dishwasher part) or maybe the procrastinating-daydreaming part. I guess the other thing is I need to improve my discipline cos somehow I always find time to blog!!!! (The girl deserves a SMACK.) Although honestly by blog dumping each day it helps empty my mind and the day's stresses so that I can actually sleep so maybe that time waster can't afford to be eradicated either...

I guess I try to cram a lot or EVERYTHING in- I need to cut down or cut out something!

This semester I'm also taking on 2 extra things the most interesting of which is medical qigong- I guess that means I'll have to ditch the yoga...I'm not prepared to eat frozen tv dinners yet but maybe I'll just have to simplify meals to peanut butter on toast or something when I'm really busy.

What a wasteful world we live in...

I caught a snippet of a border security show destroying several hundred cartons of brand new counterfeit brand name clothing. Although they were doing it to protect the real trademark owners, I couldn't help but feel some outrage when I saw all those boxes of brand new clothing going into landfill and having a tractor rolled over them to make them unsalvageable.

I don't see why they couldn't just have given all those clothes to impoverished communities such as in Africa where all the concerns that exist had they been circulated into our society would be lost in places like that where all they really care about is that they have some clothes on their back! In any case isn't it good advertising to see more people wearing clothes emblazoned with your brand names?

I guess it's something like how back in high school we learnt that all these claims of world food shortage are a myth...because huge tankers of grain etc were being sunk to the bottom of the ocean since it was cheaper than sending it as foreign aid- I don't really know about politics etc and my understanding is potentially wrong and overly simplistic but that is how it was explained to me... such a waste!

I'm also into preventing unnecessary landfill, that's why I think initiatives such as Reverse Garbage are so great!

Welcome, Pilgrims! =)

PILGRIM...what an archaic word(!) I don't think that word has been a conscious part of my vocabulary since high school days of Latin translations!

Today I met up with my super motivated already a physiotherapist but becoming a doctor friend for lunch and managed to witness the city abuzz with pilgrims. It was pretty cool- I haven't felt such an electric "the world has gathered" atmosphere since the Olympics! And haha since collecting flags has been on the brain lately, I really loved the pilgrims who were wrapped in their country flags- if I had more time to kill I would probably go out just for the fun of flag spotting! Today I consciously noticed Mexico, Canada and Germany flags but I'm sure there were many, many more.

Since his Holiness arrived the weather has suddenly turned balmy so it's been a great change and I even managed to take advantage of this by sneaking in a quick beach visit- I enjoyed observing the pilgrims admiring our golden sands and big turquoise waves...including nuns and priests swathed in full robes with rosary beads etc...

I hate crowds, but I love having so many people from all over the world around, so this is one exception when I like crowds and I like the city - surprisingly we're handling it far better than I expected in terms of traffic, crowds and transport.

It's such a shame you're not here M, I think for Catholics, it's an amazing experience to be part of! I'm still deliberating on whether I should bother trying to sneak a peep of the Pope Mobile!

Excerpt from an email...to a friend

"I guess along the lines of cutural identity, multiple name ambiguity, gender and age normalities I'm still pretty displaced!"
* * *

Somehow though I'm HAPPY. Actually my horoscope for today seemed to agree:

"If you had to score your life right now, it would have to be a perfect "10"...

Strangely, I always seem to be so on the same wavelength as astrological transits...

Long Range Goal: My Own Business before 35!

So...I donated the whole weekend and this gorgeous sunny perfect beach Sunday to...crashing my first professional seminar! *how exciting*

How ignorant was I! Basically like lawyers, doctors and pharmacists, it only just hit me that I'll be having to do continuing education for the rest of my practising career!!! And if I do end up practising the likelihood is...Bye, Bye Saturdays!

So anyway, although the seminar was...advanced, it was really good just....to refocus...visualise... and remember my long term aspirations. Having so many interests etc, it's easy to often get distracted and allow yourself to get pulled in all different directions scattering your energies.

Furthermore, when the going gets tough(which it often does) or you remember all the things (especially lifestyle) you sacrifice to be a full time student at this age, it's easy to just wanna say "too hard" and go for...easier alternatives.

Anyway I realised within my future career there are several real possibilities for me- all quite different....
1. practitioner
2. health writer
3. medical researcher
4. academia and teaching

and some more novelty possibilities...
*i could go lateral and learn other alternative therapies or even just western herbs and become a eastern/western herbs expert
*I could partially live out my exciting world of 007 fantasy and be an illegal drug buster by working in airport customs etc by helping identify herbs...actually it sounds more exciting than it probably would be on the average day :P

in the end it also depends whether I choose to do one or both modalities and if there is a particular field of medicine I will specialise in and build my reputation on.

So far my passion is still herbs but the money making aspect will require me to love acupuncture too...I also love writing- so I wouldn't mind being a freelance writer for different health publications...

But then I also love breaking new ground with new ideas and new discoveries...so perhaps break-through medical research in herbs?! (but I don't think I'd enjoy writing formal theses or research papers)

Or maybe I'd be better in helping the set up or administration of a herbal research centre or forecasted integrated hospital...LOL so ambitious haven't even graduated and thinking of top dog jobs that don't even exist yet already?!! haha...

Hmmm....so many possibilities- I'm excited! I think I need a goal focused photo to stick on my wall or something to help keep me steadily on track...cos knowing my impulsive nature I could also do a 180 degree turnaround overnight and drop everything if I have some amazing lighthouse moment...

In any case I cannot know the future, the past is irrelevant and all that matters is the present. And for now that means I need to keep kicking myself in the butt to study hard and stay healthy so I can actually do that!

More Love in the Mailbox...

Wow! I was trying not to blog but seriously I can't help but be amazed. I was busy cleaning for my VIP ;) guest when I get a buzz...it's the postie with a package...Totally unexpected! Not only that, the dear postie hearing I was a little indisposed even bothered climbing 3 flights of stairs to put it right outside my door- talk about SERVICE - stuff like that is unheard of in the city! I love my postie!!!

These last few days have been...SO POSITIVE & LUCKY! I wonder if it had anything to do with Leprachaun Luck rubbing off on me? Or else I must be doing something right...whatever, It's definitely WEIRD!!

I guess I better just enjoy it while it lasts...

Dots on Blogs

Ever since I discovered Feedjit and stuck it on my site a day or so ago I'm addicted to looking for new "dots"(country flags) from exotic locations....I know, S-A-D.

But this world comprises all types...LOL, and I just happen to get happy from the cheapest thrills ;)

Problem is I don't really know that many people in that many different exotic locations and for some reason some dots just don't show- M aren't you in Boston, MA? How do you visit- By stealth?!! Is there some intriguing conspiracy theory/geeky explanation for why dots don't show? being Scorpio Sun/Mercury with Moon in Saggit, I am stereotypically fascinated with the unknown and fancy myself a bit of a Sherlock Holmes X 007 (minus the slick coordination and cool bravery! hehe) IF I was going to be a TV character. Actually in reality, I'm more like Leela from Futurama. Cool but Daggy Daggy but Cool haha.

Anyhow, as per usual, I digress.

The dot fascination is a bit like an evolved version of my childhood hobby of collecting postage stamps- I like to "collect" dots from exotic locations!

Just like as a kid I wanted all the stamps we got from exotic locations so bad I actually FOUGHT with my sister over them(this coming from the world's most passive doesn't talk kid), now my addiction dictates that I want new exotic locations dots so bad that I'm tempted to 'cheat' and request my don't-read-blog friends who travel to "visit" from each new country they arrive in!

LOL that's why addictions are the work of the devil...they totally incite us to skew our usually straight moral compasses haha

I'm also tempted to break and give my blog address to overseas penpals (which I generally don't do until they've come to the staggering conclusion that wow, the chick is actually wholely and completely SANE- it comes across more in person, I promise :p)

Sheesh all that moral degradation just for instant gratification of a couple more flags...

I should just be patient. Surely people from exotic locations will randomly surf in soon enough? I wonder how many years it will take to collect ALL the countries in the world?!!!Unfortunately I don't think it's possible in my lifetime...the last thing starving populations need is the internet! (My preferred charity if you feel so inclined, cheers.)

Lucky I love writing and always have an endless stream of blabber waiting to come out- at least in writing. Maybe I can aim for 80% of the world's countries or maybe, I should just join Postcrossing to get a similar fix...

Same Drink, Girly Twist ;)

I'm tired of being bagged out for drinking like an old man...(so I took the liberty of girlifying it a little hehe...)

Introducing "Shiraz with Strawberry and Green Apple"- a one minute Photoshop Response ;)

Couchsurfing: Just Curious!

image: turin chaise longue sofa from furniture123


Well-travelled R who just returned from a many monthed epic world adventure, *envy*, recently told me about "couchsurfing" - yeah, folks we live on an isolated island continent here- it takes a while for information to permeate through LOL

In any case, for someone who is limited by the fact that she doesn't do long haul flights (and let's face it when you're in Australia, that is pretty limiting), so anyway, the concept got me very excited- when travelling solo, I think being able to see a different place through the eyes of a local is totally unreal, however being a small sized female generally quite cynical about the good intentions of society, I wasn't sure how wise or advisable it is for someone like me to actually try...(in the event that I do get myself on a long haul flight.)

And, cos I pretty well hold my personal space as SACRED there is no way that I would want to have random people in my place since I can't even stand the people close to me living with me for too long! So I think it's kinda unethical using the service unless one has a couch to offer...

But hmmm...I LOVE.LOVE.LOVE talking to people from other countries, people whose experiences so differ from my own:
I love learning stupid phrases in all different languages!
I love learning country specific slang and culture specific ideas!
I love talking similarities and differences and I love exotic accents!
I guess that's why I love having penpals cos that's the next closest thing. I'm still looking for one that I'll still be writing to when I'm 60 though-hint, hint ;)

I'm still keen to explore the bits of Australia I haven't though as I'm still trying to stake out where I want to relocate in this vast island when I'm ready to set up shop. I'm really tempted to use this "couchsurfing"methodology not to crash at random strangers as such but just to get to meet up with some locals and learn about actual living in the new potential area though cos as always...I'm always drawn to places where I know absolutely noone-it's just more exciting that way! All my friends and family are total city slickers anyway :P

On the other hand I love exchanging stories with people about my country too...so maybe not 'couchsurfing' as such but a cross-culture or cross-locality interchange...that is, unless I ever decide to open a hostel...

I don't think so.

Blogging really is good for you :-)

Recently I posted this article. Well it seems researchers in Melbourne concur:

BLOGGING REALLY IS GOOD FOR YOU!

and not only that, Bloggers are NOT lonely weirdos and the people you meet via Blogging are generally pretty interesting!

Agree.

Some things REALLY ARE Black & White.

Food Lovers Paradise!

What's with the friggin' cold weather?!!

I haven't felt such icy winds since walking across the Brooklyn Bridge in the middle of winter when the temperature was -7 degrees. Bloody Hell I was so frozen I had to ditch my favourite someone else cooks me paella invite and run a nice warm bath (epsom salt, sea salt, bath oil, lavender bath salts, rose geranium oil and sandalwood oil) instead just to Defrost!

Yep it was an indulgent day...

In any case, the "man-is-killing-the-natural-environment-so-now-we- have-crazy- weather" unseemly cold weather probably has a lot to do with why I'm totally FOOD and EATING OBSESSED at the moment LOL

Today I got to E's and I immediately recognised the familiar "I really can't be arsed cooking" look on her face that I often get...so we decided to check out one of the hard to get to foodie streets nearby since she had the car...

W-O-W

This place was Foodie Heaven!

Too bad they were such Nazis about photography on the premises. She had some kind of upmarket panini and I had an oyster mushroom salad with chat potatoes, shallots without the cacciata(?) cheese that it was supposed to be sprinkled with. We then shared an Eton's mess dessert that consisted of strawberries, cream and meringue with a strawberry coulis- ohmygod talk about food orgasm LOL

The phenomenal taste and quality of produce used really made my day! My only reservation was that with the salad, I seriously felt like grease in the form of fine extra virgin olive oil was seeping out my pores after!

Later I went a little nuts in the store-haha, have no fear with me in a shopping mall *yawns*...

Let me loose in a gourmet food store however and the $ damage done can be very very painful if it's your credit card I'm inflicting it on LOL

My dad always told me "never try and save/scrimp where food is concerned"...that's probably the sole thing he said I have never had trouble obeying LOL: in fact, the lack of restraint and amount I end up spending on food for one person each week is totally outrageous!

Hehe maybe why G says I'm a glutton- thank god I was blessed with outrageously fast metabolism cos rationally speaking I should be a Total Porker LOL

Here are my modest takings from the day-thankfully limited by how much I was comfortable carrying home by hand LOL...

Caramelised in a barrel for 3 years(balsamic?) vinegar, snow pea sprouts, hand made pizza base, canned lentils, large strawberries, honeydew, Italian 'glassatine' puff pastry biscuits(just to try something new!)

Italian "Glassatine" biscuits up close and personal.

On a non-food note, it's been a weird day. It's like all the positive energy I've been putting out lately came back at me in a big way today. When I turned on my phone- two more meal invitations! When I opened my mailbox- Love from Paris! When I checked my email- several new random strangers saying Hi! WEIRD. COOL BUT WEIRD. I don't think I've felt so 'Miss Popularity' since the 9th grade! I'm sure next month the universe will go back to normal and everyone will hate me again...hehe ;)

Digital Camera: Help me make up my mind!

It seems like us Scorpios are completely struck down by indecision lately: hate it!

So I got a mini windfall and I'm tempted to go splurge it on a properly functioning digicam cos this limitation of a dysfunctional one is driving me insane!

Problem is I can't make up my mind!!! HELP!

I'm torn between
1: a portable in your purse always have a camera at hand snappy cam
2: a more advanced point and shoot with some manual control for more creative photography
3: a digital SLR with proper lenses- for image quality and artistic versatility this is the ultimate but from past experience THEY ARE REALLY HEAVY!!

Any Advice please? and on which models- M will be in NYC this weekend so I was thinking of getting him to pick something up from B&H but they have waaaay so many models than we seem to get here I'm just totally 'combobulated!

Prior to having that much choice I was looking at an Olympus 840 or similar for snappy portable option due to excellent image quality however I have heard that Olympus cameras have slow reaction times...
Then I was also recommended the Panasonic Lumix series and they do feel nice and....tough, sturdy construction. Hence I was looking at possibly the TZ5.

Currently I have a prosumer Canon G3(this was a gift)...which was pretty decent before it stopped working properly. ***If anyone knows about cameras and photography- can they please drop me a msg with some recommendations?*** I need to make up my mind and make it up QUICK if I want to escape having this Dysfunctional Camera HELL for another 6 months!

Thanks!

The Eternal Butterfly...

Sometimes I just really annoy myself. When I left for my trip- my place was orderly, spotless! Now I've been back two weeks it resembles something of a bomb shelter and I just feel completely passive to rectifying the situation...because I'm in HOLIDAY MODE I just don't feel like partaking in anything that resembles responsible daily grind...

I wish I had been born with a little more innate discipline but no, ever the hedonist, I'm always ready to fly out the door as soon as the next bit of fun and excitement comes knocking...in this way I flit from here to there and can easily never get anything of substance achieved- I guess you could say, in some ways I'm the 'rolling stone which gathers no moss' or the 'jack of all trades master of none'. I really admire people who can hone their interests and skills to really excel and become expert in one thing.

People sometimes view my profile and remark- Wow you have a lot of interests! That's the thing. Most people get interested in something transiently and then the phase passes and they never need to revisit that interest again. I on the otherhand with my voracious appetite for knowledge, new ideas, new experiences etc etc I just keep collecting and adding and hence when I get to holidays when I actually have time to engage with these interests I find that my portfolio of interests is just way too large and unmanageable and I end up getting completely exhausted with my energy all dissipated. Although I love diversity and variety, I also really like to pursue interests in a little depth, so there is a little dissatisfaction when you have so many different interests because there never will be enough time!

I realise in life not only do you need to prioritise your priorities but similarly you need to prioritise your leisure! I wish I was better at doing that "everything in moderation" thing - now that I finally have that leeway to enjoy myself I'm like the starving orphan who doesn't exercise any restraint and devours the entire plate in one minute and then suffers from indigestion...

Spoilt :-)

I've been sitting here the past 10 minutes deliberating whether I should brave the cold and go to yoga...I'm erring on the negative cos my stomach is feeling a little...too full to be hanging upside down!

It's great...for someone who hates to cook, the last few days have been heavenly...I haven't actually needed to cook since Thursday!!!

Today - it being the luxury of a weekday, one of my uni friends had a lunch and made...the Korean version of Vietnamese spring rolls...(sorry forgot the name).

It was quite exotic- we sat on some kind of modern tatami(which had a really nifty heated surface underneath it). All the ingredients were laid in a large platter on a low table and there was a gas burner with a pot full of simmering water- we dipped rice paper rounds into this water.

Then we laid an interesting assortment of veggies: shredded lettuce, finely sliced mushrooms, tomatoes, mung bean sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, spanish onion, avocado, Vietnamese mint and coriander leaves. We then dipped shabu shabu style(thinly sliced) beef into the simmering water and added this before forming rolls- the dipping sauce was very simple but interesting compared to the usual Vietnamese one. It consisted of canned pineapple blended into a paste with fish sauce. Finely sliced chilli in this sauce is optional.

After you've satiated on 10+ rolls you throw all the left over filling into the beef stock and add noodles....

Hence this Korean dish is something like Vietnamese rice rolls X Steam Boat(what the Japanese call Sukiyaki I think).

This meal is well suited to those days where time is of no concern and you want to have a good long catch up & conversation with several friends....we also had a really delicious tea I've never seen before from Taiwan- it was brown and looked like rice but on the packet it literally translated to ginseng oolong tea(!?) - unfortunately I don't think you can get it here...We then ate savoury Korean rice cake desserts and fruit- again I have no idea what this dessert is called in Korean but it looked like Chocolate flakes on glutinous rice cake squares...the 'chocolate flakes' were some kind of red bean...

Happy Tummy! I'm really loving this week...Wednesday the food festival continues with E cooking - looking forward :-)!

p.s The only thing with all my friends cooking for me is I'm starting to feel it's only fair that I repay the favour so I'm already racking my brains over what would be suitable and minimal fuss... It's so cold I'm personally feeling like a nice PIE I think...

I love this eating other people's cooking - it refreshes and inspires so that I want to at least try cooking new things. Too bad we all live so far apart and generally have pretty busy and different schedules- how awesome would it be to have a daily "cooking pool" so we get to eat something different everyday and don't have to cook everyday?! Hmmm...maybe I should start a monthly cooking circle??

Perfect Sundae(ay) ;)

WARNING: Long post! (Possibly the longest ever...yeah I always say that! No really.)

I had a great weekend :) especially today...Mother Nature put on an utterly gloooorious day at the beach^^! Today was a much needed lie in, then a great chunky beetroot&sumac dip on extra virgin olive oiled toast with chai for breakfast before G & I headed for some lazy sun!

it's called ART, Folks!
Idle fingerprints.



I also got to try out my cute new flip flops.They were a little disappointing on wet sand. They were pretty good wet mark wise on a dry floor. They were really funny on the shower floor- the pawprints acted like suction cups! This picture was on soft sand.


Gosh I love the beach...the ocean...if only my parents had discovered how self amused I keep for hours on end if they had just dumped me at the beach as a kid...sure would have saved them a lot of stress ...(j.k)...actually they finally came clean last week and told me that I was actually a very, very good kid- completely placid - that sounds right...I don't even remember talking! (Boy, do some things change, LOL)

Later in the arvo, caught up with my long lost friend N who I had the random fortune to bump into and reconnect with earlier this year. Seeing her again took me back to the golden days: a carefree pseudo artsy fartsy film and media student with all the time in the world to watch obscure films as part of our film society. It was great to be able to re-embrace one of my long lost loves which tragically got lost by the wayside of 'growing up' - it was incredibly refreshing to reconnect with cultured people who have eclectic tastes yet who still manage to be grounded and down-to-earth - not pretentious and airy fairy which typifies most of that "too cool for school" elitist wanker crowd.

In any case her place was Pure 'Kid in a Candy store' excitement for me- after being stuck in the glut of Regional Australia the last year which had only a very limited range of latest blockbuster stinkers, her one shelf was LOADED with only the good stuff...hopefully I'll be able to get through all that I borrowed over the remaining 2 weeks of freedom...I'm really looking forward to this!

Saturday was...interesting. It's amazing how 8 times out of 10 when I actually manage to get out of the house...it doesn't seem possible to have a dull day...as continues my bizarre trend, I seem to always meet interesting random people!

Saturday I accidentally met a filthy rich property mogul. I was around and about the harbour sussing out potential new digs when I happened to pass this mogul arriving for his open inspection...he invites me to come have a look apologising for the "god-awful brick wall view"...As I enter, the beautiful harbour and iconic bridge loom large in my face: looking down from the balcony I see 2 swimming pools, a private jetty and the rocks which line the shore...haha great sense of humour! This $2.2 mil 3 bedroom 2 bathroom smack bang on the waterfront penthouse is OBVIOUSLY out of my price range!

In any case we had a good chat and I learned a thing or two...I'm not sure whether it was because I seemed so unaffected by the grandeur of it all but he started reeling off some of his personal and totally obscene passive income per month figures and it then occurs to me I'm talking to the richest person I ever met in my life! So I'm not particularly reactive to the world of money, but it was pretty impressive to meet a self made successful entrepreneur with an empire as large as his! The only thing that I found slightly annoying was that he mentioned about THREE times "you need to get yourself a boyfriend"...(ie: so that I could live in said penthouse)...

In this day and age where women can be self-made and successful of their own doing, the capable feminist in me found this assumed need for dependence kinda insulting and chauvinistic!!

Anyway, on my way back, I got further distracted by the unusual environment and started snapping pics. Tired from these labours I was sitting on a rock stairwell overlooking a gully enjoying the fresh serene air and writing when suddenly these incredibly energetic and playful bundles of mischief ie: West Highland terriers (Tin Tin Dogs) decided to pay an extended visit!

Meet Lulu and Kike...how I love their Spanish names...(their owner was Columbian.)



They were so...frenetically motile I was wondering how come they were suddenly so still...and then on closer inspection, the mystery was clarified...



After that diversion, a couple more happy snaps and then met up with R who was also doing the property hunt thing. After all that walking, happily satiated myself with an authentic Malaysian Chicken Laksa :) (after spending Friday night with a bunch of white folks I was pining a bit for some asian-ness)...honestly growing up in a dual culture is SO CONFUSING!

Then I conned R to come to the driving range except that perhaps due to being in the presence of a near golfing PRO, for some strange reason I was completely unable to hit the ball! It would have been completely embarrassing if G&I didn't find it so Hilarious! (R was not impressed :P).

Friday night was spent with the uber cool totally hip city slicker urbanite architecture crowd...gosh I felt Old, and Daggy. I had no idea what they were talking about, what ultra trendy blend of sparkling wine they were drinking...it then occurred to me that M's accusations of
1. You're a Hippie!
2. You're such a Country Bumpkin!

well, relatively, they do have some basis :P

But at least we watched a cool doco which I enjoyed: My architect about the life of Louis Kahn as presented by his son Nathaniel Kahn. Being all white-peopled out I was especially proud to learn that the stately Pyramid which adorns the outside of the Louvre was designed by an Asian! (I.M Pei)

It was really interesting since architecture is an area I previously knew close to nothing about! My favourite part though was the instant recognition when Nathaniel's mother on being questioned on how she stayed single her entire life after Kahn's premature death declares "Well, I'm a romantic fatalist...and...a bit of a loner". LOL, I was..."That's me! That's me!" and G was "That's you! That's you!" ;)

I like Animals

Especially, Wombats. Chimps. Orangutans. Ducks. Guinea pigs. Fish. Dogs...

But my most favourite, at least when I was younger...BEARS!!!

Only my oldest and closest friends know this. As well as that I'm a

Complete Sucker for Cuteness!

(these days though I try not to let this on too much lest it tarnish my 'adult status' credibility LOL ;)

Knowing all of the above, when P recently found himself in Yosemite National Park, he could not walk out of the shop without getting me these:

Unremarkable right?

That is...

Until you see what lurks beneath!

LOL, can't wait to try these out on the beach-hopefully it won't be too obvious that the cute footprints are coming from me cos it'll be totally embarrassing if I incite a toddler tantrum cos they want my flip flops*!

(*sorry, in Australia they're actually called thongs- I'm not sure when I started using 'International English'!)

Please Lord, Can I end up with a chef...

LOL.

No seriously, a chef (or someone that can cook) would be great...I hate cooking! It's sooooooo draining! But because I have to eat healthy, vaguely following a TCM diet, have grown up with good cooks and hence intolerant of bad tasting food, but I can't use any quick cheat preprepared sauces etc because they have chemical crap-preservatives in them which I'm allergic to...therefore I have to cook and totally from scratch which is incredibly time consuming and exhausting!

It's quite amusing...while the majority of my fellow gender aspire to marrying investment bankers, something with a bit of money, prestige, repute etc, all I really want in utility terms is that the guy can cook! I don't worry about the money bit- I figure I can bring in reasonable bacon haha...so as long as my stomach is kept happy, then I'll be happy then I can bring in happy bacon LOL

In any case the dinner went well...despite hating cooking, I can do it if pressed...if I feel like it ;)

And the good thing about people who eat everything is that you can choose to cook what you like to eat :) So we had:

pumpkin and cream corn soup
tomato chicken and lentil risoni paella with green olives
sangria with green apple using a shiraz cabernet
chocolate mud cake

unfortunately it all went before I remembered to take photos...actually the cutest part was not the food rather the invitation- I made it like a red double door which I think in Chinese feng shui is good luck...lol somehow being in such an artsy fartsy region and having had a bit of decent rest my creative ability came back a little...

Anyway to curtail the ramble t'was YUM! Happy Tummy Indeed. And it wasn't too rich so I don't feel really sick like I would have if we'd done one of those bourgeoisie too many course and weird ingredients degustation events.

Toodooloo...off to the beach for the weekend! :-)

The weirdness you get on the internet

Since I decided to participate in the online world (at an embarrassingly late age might I add), I've encountered more than my fair share of...weird stuff.

The most memorable would probably be the random marriage proposals...the funniest being the one where I got sent a couple of pages CV style with the title page emblazoned with a large photo and contact details.

That was awhile ago though. The most recent funny stuff would have to do with eye glasses! I don't understand...TWO companies now have asked me to mention their spectacle related companies in my postings...I have to say, it's a bit sus...why ask me- when I have like zero blog traffic? Surely you would approach a more significant blog which people actually read?!

In any case, I love writing. If you do want me to freelance write a review of your products I'd be happy to do so, however from my business minded point of view...how about I post it on a site which people actually read?! LOL

and p.s I need to at least trial your products or else how can I review them?! Cheers.

On Depression

It's good to be on holidays. I actually have time to get more than 5 hours sleep (guilt-free!)

So anyway I'm now on this pro-active streak to look after myself properly so hopefully I have the ongoing discipline to keep it up once life gets majorly hectic again- 8 hours sleep when I'm not out, regular sleeping routine, eating routine etc...all those things I neglect when I get busy.

The thing I have to keep reminding myself is when I get run down, I can't even look after myself- so how can I care for others?!

Which brings me to the topic that has also been on my mind lately. Depression. Not me. But some people close to me. In any case, it is really frustrating for me too when those close to me suffer depression. For friends and family, it is like repeatedly hitting your head against a brick wall. And I'm not just talking about short term traumatic event-induced depression, I'm talking about the people who can't see past the black hole for months and months and years and years and who rationally (even from their point of view) have no reason to be depressed...I guess it's what gets classified as clinical depression- they're flat, unreactive and just completely withdrawn and closed off. I find myself always worrying when I don't hear from people like this.

You hear a lot of all those people that just end it yet their friends and family were quite oblivious to the signs...I can't judge but I find it hard to believe that people can just be so unaware. But then again, this world comprises all types- some people are just down right insensitive and don't possess the finely tuned intuitive antennae some of us ;) are blessed with!

Increasingly though it is another side effect of the rat-racey world. People get busy, self absorbed - they forget to check up on how their loved ones are and let's face it, everyone only has a few REALLY CLOSE people in their life who would even bother.

Anyway, along with chronic internal illnesses, I think depression is another area I want to specialise in later on, because it is well known that conventional western medicine is pretty ineffective in this area...sure they can give anti-depressants, mood-stabilizers etc, but after awhile the person develops a tolerance and what happens when they just don't take them and/or try to overdose...you can't just plug a leaky hole and expect the problem to go away. It is for things like this that TCM shines, targeting the root not just the symptom.

Anyhow here are two natural tips that may help improve mood...

>Go out and get some sun! Walking along the beach with the sand squelching between my toes and the wind whipping through my hair always does it for me!

>Try a bit of Yoga- apparently the Sun Salutation(Surya Namaska) is a good way to alleviate depression.

Wishing you a Happy Day! Namaste!*

* this is one definition I found LOL:
'I honour that place in you where the whole Universe resides. And when I am in that place in me and you are in that place in you, there is only one of us.' (Vancouveryoga.com)