Lost in the City

It's been a pretty heavy week. From hearing so many sad stories and problems. And the thing is in this concrete jungle there is no escape...if anything it's claustrophobic and amplifies the heaviness. After significant amounts of it, I start to absorb and internalise other people's pain- empathic resonance perhaps?

It's quite bizarre....in any case it's making me reconsider wanting to specialise in clinical depression-perhaps I'm too sensitive. It kind of feels like people "feed" off me until I feel completely drained. I think that is why I react so strongly to being in natural environments- that is the only thing that can truly "recharge" me- by connecting with the natural world. I am a child of nature :) after all.

So I was doing the hermit withdrawal thing trying to recoup some of this lost energy...I can't believe I even passed up my big chance to meet a world class pianist backstage in favour of staying home with some funny dvds! I just didn't think I could take bumping into one more depressed problem laden person...

I was so tempted to indulge my whim to go fly back out to be with the whales...an aside, I always feel oddly displaced in the city amongst cityfolk...it always feels like my energy is being sapped not only from the people but from the environment! Actually I'm really starting to wonder...are there any HAPPY HAPPY people in the city?! :P

p.s actually one good thing...I accidentally bumped into the patient I spent the most amount of time on counselling and consoling this year...I haven't seen her in a couple of months but I was so surprised to see her smiling and vibrant- such a Huge turnaround! It was kinda nice to know that I had some small role to play in that :)