Bye Bye SHY!

I know I usually document my anti-social introversion and social retardness in great depth to the ongoing amusement of my dear reader HO, but for a nice refreshing change I will document a small piece of success...or at least something that someone is definitely going to be SO PROUD of me about...the one amazing thing I did (well I think so) was I did a pretty good job of impostering an EXTROVERT(!) I also did something which on any given day in the past I would never have done and would have considered scary.

In any case my shy paralysis started wearing off about a week ago and since this week it just completely disappeared and now I find it a cinch to talk to anyone, make eye contact and even smile! *wow* I even could make polite small talk with people! and it was EASY....wow, wow, wow!

Anyway, that's what I call real PROGRESS. Well done to me! :)

Disclaimer: Of course that doesn't mean I am now a social whore and no longer like my own company and don't need lots of alone time...

When your thoughts come back to you...

So I was observing some people my age cavorting like they just graduated kindergarten and thinking inside:

"*sigh*, I SO can't relate to people my age-they're SO YOUNG (and such Teenyboppers)!!!" : (

Later, I went to pick up some CDs^^ from the postoffice...

While standing in the line an old man who could have been my grandpa started talking to me... after I transacted he came up and asked me if I would fancy to go for a coffee?!

WOW. Now that's a first LOL

The idea "dirty old man" didn't even cross my mind which is what would have crossed lots of my cynical friends minds.

In any case, as always when strangers randomly approach you on the spur of the moment it's always quite surprising and I'm never able to react so usually do a runner but with him cos obviously he was so much older than me I knew he wasn't just some sleazy pervert so I replied with what came naturally-honesty: "Sorry I've got a lot of things to get done". When I saw his face fall, I immediately regretted it but the long nurtured belief of "stranger danger" inside and lack of social practice from being in geographic isolation for the past year and always never walking around by myself all the years before that so I couldn't do anything about it...

Later I thought, he's probably old and lonely...I could have at least spared 15 minutes :( And, hmmm with my recent track record he's probably depressed too! Oh well, at least this time we're both locals so maybe I'll bump into him again...

I think I gotta proactively work on overcoming this fear of strangers thing- I KNOW I've missed out on some opportunities for cool friends etc...but I'm just so busy and it's too dangerous for me to be out and about unnecessarily once it gets dark cos I can't even get a cab to get home!

In any case I felt I had more to talk about with the grandpa than most people my age...I wonder what that says about me?!

That's it. Resolution: next random stranger encounter if they're sane, decent and not inebriated I'm gonna positively engage...need to face my fears!

In the Mind of a "Shy" Person

Actually I'm starting to realise this "shy" label isn't quite all that correct!

And neither is the "anti-social" label!

These are just what extroverts call people who they don't understand: ie introverts.

For me, shyness and introversion has always been somewhat conflated-related but I guess fuelled by being especially drowned in extroverts of late and completely misunderstood, I started to read up more on these mysterious introverts lately and the recognition was overwhelming...THAT'S ME TOO!!! AND, it's perfectly normal! :-)

So just in case you were just as clueless as I once was, here is a very rudimentary explanation based on how I understand it in a nutshell...

the introvert enjoys being alone- parties, unfamiliar people and social gatherings are usually quite draining...after something like this, they need to reenergise with time and space spent alone with their thoughts. they do like the company of a few close friends on occasion though :)

the extrovert is the opposite - they love social interaction and derive their energy from being with others-they're gregarious and talkative and often enjoy being the centre of attention. they love parties and get incredibly bored when left to their own devices LOL

Anyway here are some introversion associated things I like- Jonathan Raunch's article how to care for your introvert- a must read for all extroverts! (especially ones with introvert partners!)

And The Hermit's Hearth- a nice retreat after a long hard day in an extroverted world...how bizarre, that is the exact same picture I used to keep on my wall as a teenager! Such happy relief to find like-minded souls!