And I sat down and thought to myself...

"ahhhh, now this is the life!"

Good meal. No stress. Quiet peace. Clean air. Gentle Breeze. The Sky is Blue and the Sun is Shining.

One of those very rare moments of...

Total Content

I have high hopes for the year ahead...

HaPpy New YEar, EveRyBody! :-)

One of those annoyingly unproductive days...

But I did manage to resolve some ongoing annoyances as follows:

1. I finally found my CUT COPY cd...next time you can't find a CD and you have turned your whole house upside down- check your laptop!
Anyway I'm glad I found it in time for NYE...my prediction is that songs off this album will be on high airplay...

2. Technologically challenged me finally worked out how to post a picture on a forum.

3. I finally got my notebook touchpad working again which has been Out of Action and replaced by an annoying laser mouse for the past few months...no thanks to the folks at Compaq who wanted to charge me $33 to press shift F6- I love all you helpful geeks on the internet!

'Herbal' Coolers...

In Chinese medicine, prevention is key. Hence proper diet, proper lifestyle etc are all the 'first line of defence' against illness...we believe food is the first 'medicine'- so if you like to get on the diet therapy bandwagon...

When the weather is stinking hot and humid like this and you feel unbearably heaty,

What can you do short of stripping off, walking around naked with damp towels on your head and neck and wrists while a standing fan blows air across your skin?

WELL, as someone who always finds heat unberable as opposed to cold, here are two of my favourite readily available, nice tasting foods that will help keep you cool over the Summer...

1. Chrysanthemum flower tea - Boil a few for 10-15 minutes with water, drink warm or chilled, beautiful with a bit of honey. Not only is it great to clear heat but it also works wonders for eye ailments....in terms of eye issues, for enhanced effect and an immunity boost all at once just add a small handful of goji berries :)!

2. Watermelon - This is a great heat clearer! Especially good to combat thirst...although the red flesh is tastier- it's actually the white crunchy bit that packs more therapeutic punch. But just don't eat too much cos it can give you a cold stomach ache and also make you pee alot!

Hope someone found this useful...Love from, Herbs Nerd.

FILMS TO SEE

okay, so in this stinking heat and humidity, I am feeling too lethargic to attempt filling the blank canvas that adorns my shelf.

Hence I will reinvigorate another long lost hobby that needs Time: film viewing!

In no particular order I have compiled a list of films I will try to see (if I can get a hold of them)- my local video store is so SHITE that I feel like I will probably need to raid tertiary libraries and specialty stores. There are foreign films in this list but I've given their English titles since the list is too long to accommodate and remember all their foreign titles!

Feel free to comment if you have seen any of these and feel strongly either way about them...whatever you do just don't kill the plot for me! Also, if you have any others you believe are must see viewing to add to my list, suggest away...but there's a 50% chance if it's classic I've seen it back in my film student days ;)

1. Old Boy (Korean cult equivalent of Pulp Fiction) -yargh, incredibly graphic violence confronting gangsta film, incredibly unique as a film with some inventive cinematography but hardly enjoyable entertainment for the sensitive or weak-stomached. Winner of the grand jury prize in 2004-not my cup of tea! 3.5/5
2. Magnolia (these americans sure produce a lot of weird movies! it was interesting if not overly loooong, and if you really can't stand tom cruise, well this is surely one to be avoided...some great acting though 3.5/5)
3. Oyster Farmer (Aussie) -this I found a waste of time watching unless you seriously have loads of free time and nothing better to do...2.5/5
4. Annie Hall (Woody!) Loved his monologues...Diane Keaton was great as Annie...love the requisite "dysfunctionality" of his characters. 4 stars
5. The Seventh Seal (Classic by Swede, Ingmar Bergman)
6. Wild Strawberries (Classic by Swede, Ingmar Bergman) fascinating psychological exploration with great dialogue...4.5 stars
7. Broken Flowers (Jim Jarmusch) - found this film cleverly made constructed and liked the ethiopian lounge music, bill murray was great. an unusual combination of comedy and suspense. enjoyed the slight quirk factor. keen to see more jarmusch! 4/5
8. The Black Balloon
9. Stranger Than Fiction
10. The Man who shot Liberty Valance
11. Eternity (Doco about guy who chalked CBD pavements with this word)
12. In Bruges
13. Kiki's Delivery Service (Hayao Miyazaki) -entertaining enough, I just wanted to see it considering I visited the place where he was inspired and wrote the script. if you like witches or where Girl saves boy! LOL 3/5
14. Ratatouille
15. Wall E (hmmm this went way over my head- I think it was too taxing for a complete left brain - fell asleep so won't give this one a rating)
16. The Dark Knight
17. Pan's Labyrinth
18. The Darjeeling Limited
19. Me, You and Everyone We Know
20. Doubt
21. How to lose friends and alienate people
22. Leon
23. A clockwork orange
24. The Prestige
25. No Country for old men
26. Casino Royale
27. Ed Wood
28. Twelve Monkeys
29. Children of Men
30. Charlie Wilson's War
31. Zodiac (David Fincher) - well the story itself was pretty interesting, however it was a pretty well made film too...Fight Club was still more memorable personally though... 4 stars
32. Barton Fink (Coen Brothers) - this was a pretty cool film but I couldn't stand the ending...the acting was pretty good...storyline intriguingly different and unique. 4 stars
33. Night on Earth (Jim Jarmusch) - found this one very enjoyable even if it sort of anticlimaxed in standard towards the end. Had some great laughs. 4/5 stars
34. Kenny (Aussie Comedy) -if only there were more GOOD-NATURED, kind, warm, Giving characters like Kenny in the world, it would be a much nicer place to be a part of...4/5 stars
35. Let the right one in
36. The Cat Returns -there are better anime out there - but if you like cats...3/5 stars
38. Where the Truth Lies
39. I've loved you so long
40. American Teen
41. The curious case of Benjamin Button
42. Man on wire
43. Goodbye Lenin! (German) elaborate ruses don't get any better than this! 4.5 stars
44. The Shining (Kubrick) Jack Nicholson is great as psychopath. Luckily it wasn't "too" scary. 4 stars.
45. Chocolat it had me at the title! Enjoyable easy watch with the gorgeous Juliette Binoche 4 stars.
46. Les Quatres Cents Coups (Truffaut) great childhood story, stunning visuals, definitely deserves its place on the mantel of "greats" 4.5 stars
47. Innocence (Paul Cox) difficult subject matter, difficult to watch...admirable effort 3 stars.

Woe is Me: Social Pariah!

Hmmm some Christmas. On Boxing day I woke up COVERED in multiple huge red itchy welts after sleeping over at one who will not be named.....Ewwwww. (What utter IRONY... considering what gross places I've been the last few weeks that it wasn't from that!)

I know I am failing miserably at being a more extrospective blogger but sheesh my life is constantly full of some "drama" or other cropping up before too long...with my history, it seems I was just Born with this kind of "luck"! :-p

I am still covered in huge red blobs which are seriously unsightly and look incredibly contagious but the doctor assured me they aren't - thank goodness...cos I've been in contact with loads of babies and kids! I've never been covered in such HUGE red blobs while itching like crazy for so long before- luckily I have been through waaaaaaaay too much and am waaaaaaaaaay too exhausted to overreact. The real bummer is that I feel too ashamed to go out without being covered up from neck to toe (and honestly it is waaay too hot for that!) The positive is that, now I have absolutely no desire to go out and be social and am content to stay holed up in my apartment which is what would have likely been most of the case since few people are around anyway!

I'm tempted to make a serious visit to an old Chinese doctor who will no doubt send me home with baggies full of expensive raw herbs to boil up and stink out my apartment so I can be a social pariah twice over- woohoo! Although the western antihistimines were conveniently available on a public holiday and work faster than raw herbs, I am still incredibly unimpressed with their efficacy and if it wasn't for the cost anxiety and not knowing who to see over the holiday period, I'm really tempted, in typical scientist fashion, to get some Chinese herbs to compare the efficacy.

In other news I heard back a "yes you can come" if you don't mind back breaking work from the herb farm I was hoping to learn from over the summer...however in light of these red spots, the grossness and challenge of rural life attempt 1 and the fact that I have to wait for my left behind mud covered clothes (including favourite jeans) to arrive still-FINGERS CROSSED-...it's not looking too promising. Maybe I just need some nice quiet drama-free time out for the remaining Summer...to preserve what sanity I do have in time for another crazy semester.

Reminder Cliche To Self: Whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger *sigh*

Is the nameless now named?

Everytime people ask me my name, my typical response is "I don't know that depends."

Yeah it might sound kinda mysterious and intriguing but actually it's nothing but downright annoying and adds to any remnant of what I might have left of an "identity crisis"!

I guess I can't blame my folks- in keeping with the traditions of those who came before me even if they might have had wind which country I would be growing up in, they preferred neat uniformity in line with my other siblings than give me an anglo name that would be easy for people to say and use in Australia.

Hence...why I have so very many names, of which I have met people who don't like any of them! Typically I have my kid name(which is too "cute"), my birth certificate name which is very "gruff" abrupt and manly in the English alphabet, the mandarin pronounciation of my name which I'm told is very elegant but unfortunately I can't even say with the correct tones and various others I'm not particularly used to so if you call me that I might not respond!

I have often been asked why, like so many other Asians, have I not given myself an English name? Well...I can't for the life of me think of one that suits and I feel I'm a bit old to start! In any case my 2.5 year old niece spontaneously started calling me....

Mackenzie!!!

I kinda like it actually...and I was so amused I've decided to tell new people that just for my own amusement...LOL...I mentioned the name to a close friend or two but they both don't think it's me/like it...

My Scandalous Unit...again.

If you've followed me through my various blogs over the past few years- I think that means you M- you might remember that I published a very hysterical excerpt from a strata report about the problems with the tenants in my unit...

I just received this year's minutes from the AGM....again...my unit gets a special mention...for it's unruly inhabitants...

I so had no idea as the agent had "conveniently" left me uninformed about the whole situation...bless the attentive secretary- these are her notes:

"In November 2007 a young couple became tenants of Unit X. They were soon joined by various others who came and went. In February 2008 the young woman moved out. Soon drunken visitors rang the doorbells both by day and night, sounded car horns repeatedly in the early hours, shouted and tried to climb into Unit X's windows using the garbage bins to stand on. Beer bottles were left on the doorstep and in the junk-mail bin near the letterboxes. When one man tried to climb into the adjoining unit's bedroom window, the tenant called the police. I also went to the Police Station and made a report. After repeated calls to the agent for unit X, it was agreed not to extend the tenant's lease. On 20 May the unit was vacated. Damage to the front step of the unit had to be repaired and the intercom which had been ripped out of the wall had to be replaced."

Holy sheesh-what hoon heads!!!

A Turn for the Better?

I'm starting to realise like a snake that periodically sheds its skin, I'm definitely entering a new phase of life yet again...so much so that I'm tempted to archive this Blog as artofzhen volume 2 and embark on artofzhen volume 3 - 2009. Perhaps this is creating too much expectation for 2009 though...

I'm thinking of taking a new direction in blogging- away from personal triviality and daily rambles and maybe blog more extrospectively about things like movies, eating experiences etc...however when semester restarts and I have no scope for things like that, if I don't do daily personal rambles I think this blog would cease to exist! Anyway, just a thought...but don't be surprised if in 2009 you notice all of 2008 has disappeared....

ah the beauty of life...progress!

I need new Distractions!

I have a severe case of post holiday blues...suddenly I have loads of spare time on my hands and
I don't know what to do with myself!

And it's coming to Christmas and New Year and everybody is away! Boooored...this city is so uninspiring...I think I will go see Slumdog Millionaire.

edit: entertaining enough- you will enjoy this if you love fairytales, the underdog and a little bit of action/thriller genre. Directed by Danny Boyle of Trainspotting fame.

Three and a Half Stars(Out of Five)

Is that a Compliment?

The plane got delayed so while whiling away the time I got chatting to an Irish mechanic cum cow farmer about obscure films, music and culture (you know as you do with mechanics and farmers from tiny rural towns in the middle of nowhere ;)...

Him to me:

"In Ireland, Chinese doctor types are really crazy but you actually come across really normal."

Cheers...I think that was the first time someone called me normal!

I'm baaaack!

But very very tired.

I was so glad for a *hot* shower, although even after scrubbing and soaping myself many times over and a fresh change of clothes, I still feel decidedly dirty.

First thing I did -no surprise- was do the washing... I got so unbelievably filthy. Next top priorities after cleaning, will be sleeping, eating asian food and catching up on the internet world.

I kind of miss the never ending interesting times and companionship of my backpacker family (who perhaps by the types of people that are drawn to vast open rugged spaces) I have a whole lot more in common with than my fellow Sydneysiders, but at the same time I am totally exhausted from such a social life and looking at my clean, spacious and comfortable, convenient loner abode with fresh, appreciative and admiring eyes.

The brother and the kidlets get in tomorrow and then there is Xmas, New Years etc etc so like everyone probably won't be as excessively conscientious as I usually am about tending my blog...but hopefully I'll get round to sifting through the fruits of my and Horace's labours and post some pics on a new pic blog soon.

...It was a misadventure waiting to happen...

So, I only just got back to civilisation for the 3rd or 4th time after being in woop-woop again...hence internet and mobile reception- woohoo what luxury!

In any case, today, the 2nd last day of my trip I stuffed up and it was kinda stressful cos literally I pretty well got left with just the clothes I'm standing in, and not even any clean underwear or possibility to acquire any...(okay you probably didn't need to know that however I thought it aptly hinted my stress level at the situation.)

So anyway, luckily I fly back to the comfort of home (and the guarantee of clean underwear) tomorrow night...so look out for more elaboration and maybe even pretty pics in days to come :)

I sure had an interesting time and bar today's misadventure it all went reasonably well and it was a really good **social** and learning experience for me...I think I really want to go to Europe now...but with how the dollar is and my flying issues hmmm...but I think as soon as I get back I'll try and get full time work so I can start saving...I think soon I'll be too old and tired to do another extended trip(and with at least 14 countries to cover it's gonna be more than double duration and even more challenging!)

Musings on Travelling Solo

It's pretty interesting as G and I attempt our first extended solo adventures simultaneously at opposite ends of the planet.

Thanks to technology we're able to drop short updates to each other frequently about our (near)daily dodgy situations/experiences...

Conclusion?

It's pretty dangerous travelling alone and being female. Men are very predatory (and desperate).

In any case I'm loving the +ves of rural life ie: the clean air, space, beautiful scenery etc...I've also encountered so many interesting people off the beaten track I would never usually meet - fish slaughterer, toxic waste remover, head monk, sailor, pilot, marine biologist, mime artist^^ to name a few...at the same time I've also come across my fair share of uncouth Neanderthals and seriously inconsiderate, selfish and completely frustrating pea-sized brain idiots and even had to share a room with one...it's summer and this chick turned the heater to maximum because she insisted on wearing a skimpy night gown and refused to use blankets and couldn't interpret the heat gauge on the heater and was too proud to seek assistance...as anti-confrontational as I am, fuelled by the sweat that drenched me and kept me awake at 12am and 2am etc along with the pursuit of common sense and justice fuelled me to let her have it! And when a pissed off person is backed up by rock hard hole proof rational argument, well it's a force to be reckoned with no matter how stubborn and idiotic one insists on being out of habit!

Moron chick aside, for the most part I've impressed myself with the latent ability (which I completely forgot I had) to be completely and seriously social with a wide range of people but I'm kinda of looking forward to getting back to the comfort of my own place, bed, space, bigger town/city conveniences at least for a bit...

oh one other thing, these countryfolk can seriously bake! I have had the most delicious raspberry friand and raspberry and passionfruit cheesecake...Mmmmm!

Thank God For The Mail Run!

Just did my second stint in a tiny town, population 1500. I'm starting to realise once the population hovers around the <2000 population mark I start to get distinctly uncomfortable...this is because typically...the town also usually consists of the following: a supermarket, a limited postal service, a bottle shop/pub, a butcher, a bakery, a newsagent, and possibly a library, pharmacy, town hall, medical centre......I also have zero mobile reception and the grocery store is very small and stocks very little variety... Freaking hell, if it wasn't for the reliability of the mail needing to go in and out I would be so screwed...it took me over FIVE hours to do a 50 minute trip from point A to B, and literally, I got delivered with the mail! Coming back was almost no better- if it hadn't been for the fact that the connecting bus needs to wait for the mail I would have been screwed since the mail dude was running half an hour late.

These rants aside, more rants...argh the limitations of tiny rural places travelling solo with no car are starting to get to me, from being fleeced by rogue taxi drivers, to the fact that there is a set 2 hour daily period to use internet which is damn expensive, no postage stamps, groceries are expensive, no change to use the pay phone...basically it's tough going and you better have your legs and the ability to walk!The limitations are oppressive and you're total at the mercy of others' kindness(and therefore totally open to be exploited)...

Apart from these observations, Big Lesson No3 yesterday- never ever go bushwalking (or to desolate places) alone- no matter how adventurous and in need of excitement you might be- especially not starting out at dusk...I got so overzealous taking photos that my map of all the trails blew away and as the light was closing in I was in shite, shite, shite. Thank goodness I had the ocean on one side to guide me home- all the trails sort of merged into each other and there were no signs or people in sight! It was pretty scary...

Lessons Learnt: Part 2...

No surprising revelation here...Z is a sucker for artists!

The other day my brain just completely went AWOL and Stranger Danger Rule 101 which you get taught in Kindergarten... well it just didn't even kick in...until the very last possible moment...so I got suckered into some random stranger's car who I only just met (well to be fair he was a painter and a carver of stone and wood and shared my Bohemian interests ;) so you can see why I was so caught off guard...)

Anyhow when the car pulled out of the driveway and I saw the road which was in the middle of nowhere leading to what seemed like nowhere which recalled the 5 mens very worried faces that farewelled me it kicked in what a not very clever situation I was in so I got out (and am very thankful that I did in hindsight).

I think I was being overly open-minded and idealistic/think the best of people and I tend to resonate with the underdog so probably didn't exercise enough discretion...everyone else was thoroughly convinced that this artist, like most artists was a little...mad...okay, a raving lunatic...I guess I am also very sympathetic to weirdos...

Anyway glad that my Dumb Assness was caught in the nick of time...will be more cautious in the future...

Lessons Learnt: Part 1...

So. I'm back in relative civilisation again after spending the last week in some remote backwater where it was at least a 10 minute drive at 80-100km/hr to the nearest food store...no I didn't appreciate that or the fact that food items were so limited in range and so incredibly and atrociously expensive!

ANYWAY. It's been an interesting time for me and I've learnt a lot about myself (as well as the perils of being overly impulsive) and also recognising things I've always known (ie. I have an insatiable capacity to be incredibly lazy)

Things I have really enjoyed: meeting people from all over the world (current fascination is Sweden) and having people to play games with (ping pong, darts, table football, chess, cards... (is SPADES the best game ever or what?!), giving TCM consultations and one treatment- damn I wish I brought more needles...also became impromptu ESL teacher and life counsellor...LOL

So anyway sleep cycle completely screwed- the standard routine was sleep all day and stay awake all night...very easy cos it only gets dark really really late!! But actually cos it was so bright I couldn't sleep anyway so I am incredibly panda eyed and sleep deprived...

p.s I'm noticing I get told to "Be a Good Girl" alot even by people who only just met me...I wonder if I scream *mischief* with my vibes or something?! ;)

Oh So Cute.

I really am going...soon.

This just made me chuckle...a final piece of advice from one of my penpals...

"So do not drink too much, not to mention the drug, do not sit on cold ground, and be a good girl :)"

LOL...I love people from small towns- they are so damn cute!

He's not too far off on the drinking thing though- I had such an ass trying to find anywhere to stay while in transit so in the end I'm staying somewhere I get a complimentary whole bottle to gurgle on arrival...Don't worry S, I will not be packing any high heels! *LOL*

Winging it.

Hmmm....it's getting pretty close to my departure and I haven't even worked out where I'm going to stay...I have had a brief investigation and the nearest city is pretty heavily booked out! I guess it must coincide with...something.

The only availability over two consecutive days that I've been able to find so far is in pretty high end hotels...I was thinking...hmmm, maybe I should just "spoil" myself...but then I remembered I'm just a student and don't want to compromise other necessities over the trip duration like good food.

In the end though if I get there and there is nothing else...maybe it's going to end up being an unforeseen luxury weekend for me! LOL

In any case this "unknown" factor and last minute "improvising"...I have to admit...it's kind of...exciting ;)

So I'm just going to cross my fingers...and toes. That everything all works out well.

I guess I will say toodooloo and tata for a bit...Toodooloo! Tata! ;)

Eeevil Kneeevil.

Hehe...I love observing and studying people- their perceptions, their impressions...it is an endless source of fascination for me.

There are not many people who know about or follow my blog and as such they know very little about me...

Every once in a while I might "reveal" something that they didn't quite expect since I am the multifaceted complication that I am...

For me it is an endless source of amusement...if it is from someone in the online world the reaction typically takes the form of an email shot back straight away with the first line being a big question ending in ...??!!!!

LOL. Cheap Thrills, but it never ceases to stop amusing me.

I'm pretty busy now doing last minute stuff and my net download is all used up so no ability to entertain any media viewing...sorry artistic creative folks.

Zhen's Law of Floods and Droughts and general irony is back though...as I prepare to leave civilisation of both physical and virtual realms...suddenly there has been a recent upsurge in interesting people cropping up out of nowhere! weird.

anyway, hopefully they'll still be around when I get back. I LOVE Interesting People :)

Declutter: Throwing Away Your Past

So, as part of Domestic Goddess week, I'm wading through shiteloads of accumulation.

I had no idea how hard it would be to part with the material manifestations of my past. For me I think sentimentality is much more present in those objects than in my mind...

I think, when you grow up as a poor migrant, your parents drum into your head how "money isn't easy to earn" and "not to be wasteful" and so you are conditioned to distinctly overvalue material objects and thus you end up being a hoarder of EVERYTHING by default...just in case that scrap of paper or scrap of string might come in handy later. It is a terrible affliction but I'm sure anyone who didn't grow up with a silver platter has exactly the same mentality which is incredibly hard to shake.

So anyway as I am faced with the ghosts of my past in their material presence in varying degrees...I'm finding it very confronting to try and dispose of things. *Sigh*...Life.

Natal Charts

As part of 'Domestic Goddess' week to prepare my place for workmen to come through while I'm away, I've been tackling some intriguing boxes full of miscellaneous items from a looooong time ago.

I found a blue manila folder containing various collected documents...the most intriguing of which were 3 natal printed charts from high school- one was highly in depth, about 12 pages long...

Back when I was 16-18 I had read through and highlighted all of which I thought was accurate at the time. It was interesting to look at this and note how although most of the description of me was the same, there were some subtle changes-certain things I didn't think I was back then so didn't highlight which I would now and other things back then I thought were accurate but don't think apply now. There was also major predictions which actually ended up happening! eek!

It was so fascinating for myself to be able to study my own personal development through this historical natal report.

The final bit which I thought was pretty amusing was it had the astrology of what my "Ideal Partner" should be like. I was amused to note that absolutely ZILCH corresponded with my ex...well I guess that's exactly why it didn't turn out...

But honestly, I had completely forgotten about these charts at the time. Oh well...so now I'm documenting it so I don't forget about it should the opportunity arise again in the future...

and to remember these "specifications" JUST IN CASE some unique specimen fulfilling these planetary positions should pop up LOL...

Astrology of Z's Ideal Partner

Sun in Sagittarius or Gemini (Don't Know Any!!!)
Moon in Scorpio or Taurus
Venus in Sagittarius or Gemini
Mars in Libra or Aries

Woah, these astro people sure ask for a lot! haha

Tube Tales

okay, so I'm running out of thunder. As other interests consume me and I'm in the home stretch of only a few more days of Sydney to tolerate, I'm actually losing some of my trademark ramble power. And I've been racking my brains trying to think of interesting things to write as part of what I owe HS, Shannon and KB!

So.

Not about Me per se (cos that ain't interesting!) but something quite curious and positively disgusting I did witness for real in real life a couple years back...

I was travelling on a train I can't remember what time it was but it was reasonably empty. There was a mid 40s man in a business suit. After finishing a mobile call he hung up and then proceeded to...

Dig his ear wax out with the antenna(!!) and not stopping at that(!) proceeded to eat that which he had dug off the antenna like a lollipop!....ewwwwwww.

I'm not kidding. That's exactly what happened...I always knew Neanderthals frequented this city!

This has got to be probably THE weirdest thing I've seen a random stranger do ever. In fact it was so weird I submitted it to a film based on people's real life stories on the train: "Tube Tales" but I'm not sure if they used it or not cos I never got to see it!

So...now I've entertained you with my story, feed me...What's the weirdest thing you've ever witnessed a random stranger do?

Sneaky Secret Business :-P

As it stands I am now in debt 21 'secrets'...cos I've been tagged three times this week to reveal 7 things about myself.

Honestly, I'm not that interesting People! I can't even think of 7 things!!!

Anyway I reserve the right to exempt myself from these memes especially this one cos a) I already reveal alot by virtue of the fact my blog is a personal blog and b) I don't have 7 original blog friends to tag since we're all friends amongst friends :)

I'm sure I'll gradually reveal 21 *exciting* things across multiple posts in good time...haha what an ingenious ploy for you to stay tuned!!

Who's Sneaky?!! hehe ;)

A Return to Civilisation...

I find it ironic that the last time I used that title was on my return to the city...Now my thoughts have flipped 180...in "civilisation" I'm referring to my old regional town...I finally went back for the first time in 10 months!

And wow, what a welcome it gave :-D On the way up, I couldn't help but feel sheer inspiration and awe at the beauty and majesty of the natural scenery, even though I'd seen it countless times before.

The weather was perfect, and as I sat contentedly on the waterfront breathing very-much-not-taken-for-granted-clean-air eating fish and chips, a Pelican flapped right down near me to visit close enough so I felt the water spray off its wings. Not only that but my favourite Husband and Wife Duck who used to accompany me on the trail home at dusk also dropped in to visit! I Love Ducks :)

When I was sitting there waiting to leave a Rainbow appeared!

Unfortunately, when I was leaving the city, it was horribly overcast and raining so at the last moment I removed Horace from my bag so sorry no pics :(

Although mentally I knew and remembered people up there to be Niiiiice, it was still quite a shock to actually experience the genuine warmth and friendliness of the locals! I felt a bit strange though to be confronted with such a different world and realised definitely after being in the city for awhile now I'd become more reserved, inhuman and standoffish again. I was taken by surprise when cars actually stopped for me at the zebra crossings, there was actually SPACE and nobody was puffing a ciggy in the vicinity let alone my face!

Being a bit of a hippie town, I managed to stock up on 10(!) more crystals which I haven't seen here in the city...the more interesting ones being Apatite,Coral and Peacock Ore(iridescent rainbow)...sorry too lazy to pic them!

The one I was most drawn to immediately out of the comprehensive collection was definitely the apatite-the colour was just so pretty!

I think if I'm going to be stuck in the city for another 2 years minimum I really need to go up more frequently to save my sanity- it's such a positive vibe and so reenergising and relaxing :-)

Brain Sex...

This is By Far one of the more interesting online tests you can do if you have a spare 20 minutes...

These were my results:

How surprising...I'm just an Average Female after all!!

Things that make me sad: Monoculturalism

I grew up in Sydney at a wonderful school with great exposure to a diverse mix of cultures - there was nothing but integration, inclusion and acceptance there...well maybe we were also too young and innocent to have much prejudice.

I feel sad that these days I rarely witness this same beautiful vibe.

In my new class this year, a distinct line down the middle separates the people with black hair with the people with any other coloured hair. When I first came to this new class, I had issues...I had NO IDEA which side of the line to sit on! By all superficial aspects, I knew which side of the line I belonged on but I didn't have a whole lot in common with that side of the line. But then again neither did I have too much in common with the other side of the line...after all I'm a Third Culture Kid ;) I was BORN to be a fencesitter...so I went for the middle :)

Anyhow, I was organising dinner with some asian friends and looking forward to eating something a bit different...african, spanish I suggested...I was not happy when I got an email back from a very good friend (who was actually born here so by some logic should be less Asian than me!) saying she REFUSED to eat either cuisine(has she even tried it?)...I also felt shocked when another 2 asian friends told me they had never tried Spanish food in their life!!!!!!! It was at this point I felt some serious frustration with how narrow minded and monocultured many people can be...

I don't think there is any way in hell I will EVER understand Monoculturalism...to me there's no attraction- it's just absolutely hands down BORING AS HELL...a primitive attitude that belongs in the past and definitely has no place in this jetplane, internet connected GLOBAL society...

I think I'm going to have to practise some "narrow-minded Exclusivism" of my own from now on... if you wanna be part of MY Clique you can't be an Uncultured Monocultured unprepared to venture outside your own doorstep for even one night! Grrr.

THERE...how's that for Dis-crim-in-ation?! LOL, that's probably my first attempt at un-inclusivism - I think I'll get better with practice though haha.

Honestly, I've not really noticed any discrimination until the last year or so...surprisingly, it's taken being back in this huge "melting pot" to actually notice it...(and it's right up there on the most disgusts me list along with smokers)...although we are such a richly diverse city I can't believe how much each clique still sticks to themselves so there are just separate pockets of cultures co-existing on the same turf with little interaction with each other. Maybe that is normal? What are your experiences with multiculturalism where you are?!

addendum: 21-11-08 interesting topical piece

I liked this Dream :)

Well the rest of the dream was pretty crazy like weird obstacle courses where my daredevil mate was riding a horse drawn wagon trying to jump the entire horse and buggy over other horses ahead of him...and I don't remember much else but the end was like the end credits of a film...with a title reading

"The Best Things in Life are The Simplest Ones!"

LOL, so it got me thinking what are some of the simplest things unique to me that make me Ooze Joy... this is a working list cos my brain doesn't kick into full force until well after 5pm ;)

* Happy Guinea Pigs (when guinea pigs are OVERJOYED they run around excitedly and "hop" like little kernels of popping corn emitting little "yelps" of delight...it is one of the Cutest things you can ever witness EVER.

* Being able to satiate a Food Craving and not be disappointed currently this is Green&Blacks Italian style chocolate, organic dried apricots, MSG free wonton noodles and northern style pan fried pork dumplings with vinegar...

* Foreign Correspondence and resulting culture class with people all around the world :-D

* Escaping into Nature whether it be a salt breeze with big mouthed pelicans or misty dew green mountains or big, clear blue sky, yellow grasses and vast expanses of empty tarmac ahead.

* Inspiration from people, music, film, philosophers, art

Who's a Work Nerd?!

So I got up bright and early this morning for the first time- I'm not sure whether it's cos I've spent the last few days crashed out or whether it's excitement about trying out a new clinic today.

I think it's funny that I was so happy to be on official holidays but less than one week later I am already happy to be dipping my finger back in!

It's great when you love what you do and have a passion for your work- I feel sorry for the people who have to live any other way!

The last couple of days I've been unbelievably exhausted- I think perhaps it's that whole...your body knows when it can finally crash after a sustained intense period of work. I ended up skipping out on functions Friday, Saturday and Monday night! Saturday I was meant to do dinner with some classmates but we were all so equally exhausted we postponed. Friday I just felt plain urgh by dinner and Monday I completely forgot and only arose from a much needed nap at 6pm....blah, why do we allow our bodies to get so run down in the first place?! I guess this is what "modern life" is all about! And the reality is, it's only a privileged few who have cleaners, cars and fat wallets at their disposal.

The last fortnight or so has been pretty interesting- I think it had something to do with some astrological shift but a lot of creative ideas started free flowing...so now I'm just trying to work out which project to pursue...I also want to create a couple of pieces for my wall but don't know which one to start first... although I picked simple do-able things I still think it's pretty ambitious since I haven't picked up a brush or done anything particularly creative voluntarily in Yeeeeears!!

Apart from my mandala digital print project, I wanted to transfer a very simple graphic mandala with acrylic onto canvas...then I also wanted to try a simple blobby textured rendition of something whimsical like Drinking Water. Hopefully the more I get back into it, the more skill will come back...so I can produce more original stuff.

Apart from that, I'm still busy with lots of stuff that got laid by the wayside during the crazy hectic period and I'm also in a pretty contented period for the following reasons:

I'm living life how I want, doing what I want when I want and on my own terms.

I've stopped trying to fit myself into the neat categories defined by generic society.

I'm going with my intuition and listening to my body.

Oh on another strange note, I think my blogaholism has been cured too...I actually feel capable of not needing to blog or read blogs at all! ;) Good Timing, cos soon I won't have the means...

p.s one last thing I'm excited about...I'm going to start reading the much anticipated "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand...I hope it's as good as everyone says...

More prolific on Cloudy Days: Miscellaneous Ramblings

I'm not sure what it is with overcast weather but I always feel like writing alot in this kind of weather - I guess it's like how some people get very productive creatively when they listen to certain types of music...

I was hoping to watch The City of Lost Children or John Safran vs God cos I've had them sitting around the last 6 months and I really should return them to my friend but I guess for me to sit down continously watching something is always a challenge to stay still cos watching a screen is such a passive exercise. At least with writing, my hyperactive brain gets a chance to run off the leash!

In any case I'm listening to Birthday (can't ever get sick of this song!!)...before I was slightly more interesting listening to Cut Copy's IN GHOST COLOURS which is a pretty enjoyable electropop album...don't have much of this kind of music in my collection but I can understand why I like it...it is very similar to New Order I think- just a more modern version. I don't know if this is a totally off presumption cos I'm not quite the fan but I suspect it is a little like Daft Punk too.

Random snippets as follows...

Random Musing 1 : Canon Marketing
I was looking through all the contents (as you do) when you have a new electronic purchase. And I saw two advertising booklets Canon had in the box- one was to promote why you need one of their IS (Image Stabilizer) lenses and the other one was on promoting why their Macro lenses are so good(apparently it is due to their USM (Ultra Sonic Motor) and hence super quiet lenses. They had this cutesy cartoon picture of a grasshopper in a flower showing that if you don't have a USM lens when you click the grasshopper will get disturbed and hop away wrecking your photo, however with a USM lens it will go on sleeping quietly enabling you to get your perfect macro shot...Cute.

I couldn't help but think I'm just like the grasshopper: whenever I get put on the spot and taken offguard like that I freak out and the adrenalin kicks in so that I run run run even before my brain verified that there was any real threat of danger in the first place...I think I've missed out on some unique opportunities by being such a hypersensitive scaredy anti-confrontational cat...I wish I wasn't so wired! But I don't think it's pathology of psychology so much...I think it's to do with a leaning towards hyperthyroidism...hence also why I can eat bucketloads of fatty junkfood and crap and not put on a scrap of flesh...luckily though I know when to stop cos the nauseous and ill feeling kicks in.

Random Musing 2: Trust your 'Irrational' instincts
I was reading how with the current astrological influence...we are going through a renaissance of the time that gave birth to the whole Hippie Revolution...and how anything that represents stability will be negatively effected eg financial institutions, home ownership etc...

This took me back to the time I ended up part-purchasing a place that I didn't feel was "right" from the start however by all practical means- location, value, investment wise etc it was pretty good.

In any case for the 2 years or so I lived there I got soooo sick and had a pretty bad run of luck. Being immobilised for so long after an accident with nothing but spare time on my hands got me considering everything under the sun and I looked into the Feng Shui of the place... which only served to confirm my suspicions...it finally reached a point I got so sick we moved to a lovely good vibes little villa in a gorgeous town...and after that my improvement and healing was speedy. Based on the luck that befell the several tenants who have lived there since I can say it was not just me!

So from that, I guess the moral of the story is Don't ever ignore those "irrational" gut instincts! If your body has some reaction loud and clear to something, chances are it knows better than any 'Mind Rationalisation' any day!!!

I can't wait to get out of this damn city.

Screw that, I'm not going to waste my money keeping a city pad in this city after all. I want to move FAR FAR AWAY- and if I feel the need for city conveniences I'll fly for a weekend or something and I'll rotate between cities cos frankly if there weren't friends and family here I'd rather spend weekends in any OTHER city- airfares are so affordable these days anyhow...

So I set out of the house thinking..."wow now I'm not burdened by studies I feel so calm, content, happy, comfortable, peaceful"...

It didn't last long.

It first started with being shoved and barged past with no apologies or excuse mes in one serious caterpillar inching crowd(I should have known better to avoid the festival crowds but hey this is my local area!)

It then followed with escaping the crowd by ducking into a shop and lining up to get a sandwich. The bad vibes dude behind me was so impatient and kept inching uncomfortably close so I could feel his angry breath on my neck so I moved to the side a little - the f*kng a-hole(F.A) took that as a sign to move ahead of me and take my rightful place in the queue. Before it even entered my mind that these days you can't even be assertive because you're likely to get bashed up or stabbed these days when trying to seek just conditions, then the woman behind the F.A decided it was Her right to shove ahead as well. UNBELIEVABLE. I know for a fact this does not happen in more civilised locations...people actually ask if you are in the queue if they're going to do that.

So no doubt when I was carrying bags and bags of groceries which I had put down to unlock the common door and I stepped aside to let a neighbour through first but he held the door for me...I was honestly shocked and let out a really shocked "Ohhhh, thanks!"

The immediate city environment in Sydney is an ugly place because of the inconsiderate people in it...once you've lived out of the city and realised how much nicer places where actual Nice and more civilised beings exist...you can never see the city in the same light again let alone find it easy/enjoyable to live here especially with such daily occurrences....and also, your standards and expectations of yourself and the rest of humankind have transformed to exist on a higher plane.

The Friend Situation

So I know I bitch and moan and groan about how disgusting and horrible city living is but I gotta admit I like
a) being able to go out for short trips and duck home again even several times a day if I want to...it's kinda handy having a city pad...even when I move regional if it's feasible I'd very much like to keep a city pad.

b)relatively, there are more things happening and more to do than if I was in woop woop- although I have no problem entertaining myself watching kids go night fishing or admiring the blanket of twinkling stars, walking along open roads and breathing fresh air any time of day cos it was SAFE!

ANYHOW. I rang my sole friend who lives in the city thinking I'd drop over since I'd be his way trying to find this elusive black tourmaline. But no...finally the entire year of flirting with several girls a week(he's a Leo-need I say more?!) on the internet has paid off...he hesitates..."my girlfriend is coming". Oh. I know he feels torn between being a good friend and being a new boyfriend. It's okaaaaay I say. "I get it". I'm actually really relieved to hear that he's finally decided to commit to one and stop toying with so many even though that inevitably means less of a friend for me!

Anyway I'm used to the friend desertion...in the beginning it was being deserted by all the adventurous/ambitious friends who left this country for more exciting career prospects in more exciting pastures. These days at this age it's generally the hooking up thing...cos conventionally speaking, Now is the "correct" time to be settling down...cos most of my friends historically have been male I guess I've felt the desertion more cos typically their girlfriends tend to impose a "you can't hang out with other females thing"...and if not, they feel inappropriate doing so anyway...there have been many times when people I don't really know have seen me with single guy friends who were not my partner and I have to admit although there was nothing untoward going on it didn't look too good!

Whatever the case, my conclusion...it's not a good idea being "taken off the market" young cos you could have spent a lot more time expanding your social circle since people were at an age where they were more interested in making friends rather than partners :P That is the only thing I've learnt and if I ever have kids I'm sure as hell going to advise them not to settle down too early for many reasons, that just being one! (Oh the joy of learning through mistakes! the good thing being I rarely make the same mistake twice!)

In any case I think I'm an anomaly cos regardless of being in a relationship or not I still feel the urge to hang out with friends and have my own spare time and a lot of personal alone time and space..this free spirit feels easily suffocated by other people whether it be in a friend or partner capacity. However...I've also been asked is it a "commitmentphobe" thing?

For others maybe, for me I don't think so...for me it's about your partner being THE RIGHT PERSON, not just that it's an "appropriate" age to settle...

Cynical, practical types have told me..."fine, be idealistic romantic fatalist...just be prepared to bear the consequences".

Colour Career Counselling...

Check this out. It's pretty interesting.

According to this test my number one most suitable career path is that of THE CREATOR...oops, maybe I should have stuck to my first line of training! Well, at least I tried it so I know for practical reasons I'd prefer to keep the artsy fartsy stuff as a side hobby.

Not bad, I guess I'm lucky that I've tried my best most suitable occupational category and now I'm trying the second...

You're a CREATOR
Key Words:Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional
These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.
CREATOR OCCUPATIONSSuggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.
CREATOR WORKPLACESConsider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.
Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

2nd Best Occupational Category
You're a SOCIAL MANAGER
Key Words:Tactful, Cooperative, Generous, Understanding, Insightful, Friendly, and Cheerful
This very social type enjoys working in groups, sharing responsibilities, and being the center of attention. Fields of interest are instructing, helping, nurturing, care giving and instructing-especially young people. They discuss and consider feelings in order to solve problems, lead, direct, persuade, guide, organize and enlighten others.

The Middle Path

So I managed to get to a screening of documentaries by amateur film makers...was pretty cool being back in that scene- really felt "familiar" and took me back...after all my first love after visual arts started with videography not photography but I think I kind of lapsed into photography cos that suits my lazy nature - I just don't have the patience for countless hours in post production!

Anyway it was inspiring, maybe if I could find like-minded co-conspirators I wouldn't mind getting back into film making...the only thing is both TCM and film making require a huge commitment so having so many interests to dabble in I can only take on one that requires a big commitment so TCM will have to win out for now!

Anyhow by the end of it I was starving so I went in search of food...craving dumplings I rocked up at the shop only for the man to shoo me away and say it was closing time...far out! Anyway it was that point I wished I lived in a bustling 24-7 metropolis like New York or at least somewhere which has more of a night culture like Spain or Asia...cos things not being open and not being able to find decent food at 10pm is THE PITS! So in the end I had to settle for...fast food in a doggy bag-Berk!:P

Anyhow this thought train progressed into the following self analysis and reflection on the fact that I am such a paradoxical creature...and find it so hard to negotiate the polar forces within...as follows...maybe I'm just hard to please!

*I love the worldly, switched on, accessible and cultured nature of a bustling metropolis BUT I also love the wide open spaces, care and friendly intimacy of a small regional town.

*I need ALOT of personal space and take real comfort in alone time however at the same time I really need the constant mental stimulation that you can only get from interaction with a whole variety of people.

*I really feel the need to engage with creative dreamers but at the same time it can sometimes get a little airy fairy and I appreciate a bit of hard headed rationalism, groundedness and appreciation for everyday sensibilities in the people around me.

*East-West: the asians say I'm a pathetic excuse for an asian, the westerns think I'm asian but then get disappointed when they realise I'm not exotic, agreeable and subservient after all.

*Factual Realism vs Dreamy Possibility - can they really co-exist?!

*Logical and apathetic Detachment vs Passionate and Enthusiastic Engagement

Eh...I can hear the voice of friends...You think waaaay too much! LOL

Synchronicity...

I'm part of TUT.com- basically they send you nice emails all the time :)

I never cease to be amazed at how much the messages seem to speak to my direct circumstances each day- if the founder, Mike Dooley honestly writes them...sheesh, he either has amazing timing or else he's like some kind of divine psychic!

Today I got one which said:

Someone's getting a life, Ms Cheery, someone's getting a life!!

TOO RIGHT! LOL

BTW please check out My Mandala Quilt Project.

This is Art: What are your thoughts?

So...I saw this image in the paper and it just instantly drew me in...I loved it!

What was your first reaction? What do you feel when you see this image?

I can see why some people might find it disturbing though. I found it strangely comforting, and it was so intriguing to me that I've already decided I need to see the real thing.

MAN it's so fun being able to have a life and being able to indulge all the things you love! For what remains of this week besides attend that exhibition, I've decided to attend an independent film screening, catch an arthouse movie, dinner(s) with friends, hang in a book store, hang in a music store and take Horace out for a spin...oh and squeeze in the beach and a dip on Sunday if I get the chance....

I LOVE LIFE!!!

Pulling an all nighter

I haven't done an all nighter in a while- it's kind of exciting.

Surprisingly it's not hard for me to stay awake and be able to think through the wee hours- in any case I love the quiet and the dark - if practicality allowed, I wouldn't mind being a serious Night Owl.

Anyway I got distracted when taking a break...what the hell is it you ask?

It's one of my favourite inanimate objects at the moment- one of my Himalayan salt lamps flickering but it looks cool weird and kinda ethereal cos of the strange setting. Haven't read the manual yet so I was just trying different settings which produced remarkably different pictures- Gosh I love SLRs! and its such a luxury having to use an eyefinder again!! LOL. It's sad that I'm still confined to these four walls with nothing inspiring to take a photo of...thankfully I'll be in spectacular and refreshing landscape in just over 2 weeks :) Can't wait to inhale some of that world famous clean air ;)

Back to work Z!

----------------------------------------------

EDIT: 5:48am...THE GIRL IS DONE!!! Finito!

Next 3 months are Holiday Have a Life ***Bliss***...Woohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

..But for now, Good Night...Morning...whatever!

I love Horace!

I picked up my new Canon 450D a.k.a Horace this morning :)



No time to play yet but here is my first gratuitous photo- of my special Desert Rock...Healingstones, can you please get hubby to identify what rock it is?

Thanks :)

Happy Birthday To Me! :)

Actually I'm not into birthday broadcasting, but I already received several Happy Birthdays yesterday cos absolutely nobody except my immediate family ever seems to know my Actual birthday, so I felt after 28 years I should finally say something!!!

Anyhow...there is nobody super duper famous but here are some of my favourite birthday twins...

Delta Goodrem, Aussie singer

Eric Dane, McSteamy on Grey's Anatomy

Carl Sagan, American astronomer and writer (d. 1996)

Robert Frank, Swiss Photographer

Bryn Terfel, Welsh baritone

Choi Hong Hi, Founder of Taekwon-Do (d. 2002)

Alessandro Del Piero, Italian footballer

How will I be spending the day? So sad- the usual-study grind cos I'm way overdue to START an assessment I was meant to hand in Friday!! OOps. I figure only 4 more days, I'll have fun then...sucks always having your birthday fall during exam time :P

Cheers to Diversity: The World Is My Oyster :-)!

THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET!

Because I don't do long haul flights, I think I'd go insane without all the international friends and penpals it's enabled me to make :-D

Today was a...different...day. Not quite pleasant but not wholely unpleasant either.

It started with the usual-cramming- freaking hell-who the hell has to do exams on Saturdays?!
Me Obviously. When I say my career choice wholely consumes my life at the present moment I'm so not exaggerating- I have lost entire weekends to seminars let alone all semblance of a normal twenty something life!

So anyway after that debacle(I think I did okay despite everything) I crashed out for a bit and then hauled ass to an old friend's farewell drinks...yup, everybody disappears on me...I've learnt to stop caring though ;)

In any case, for this happy home hermit getting out was...intriguing. Cos basically it doubled up as a 10 year high school reunion -and it was pretty bizarre. Basically I felt like I must have grown up in some hick country town cos pretty well these people had the same predictable linear lives with the same limited social circle from school and were all at the same stage-in the same careers following uni, engaged or married to either the same boy from school or else all incestuously interlinked to each other cos of the very limited social circle.

I came out thinking to myself "MAN. You've come a looooong way Baby!" And despite all the adventure, bumps and bruises was grateful for my breadth of life experience. I felt SO OLD. These chicks from school in many ways still struck me as teenybopsters and some even still dressed the part...

I have to say this city especially its nightlife is so vacuous, tacky and devoid of class...people dress so tacky and the chicks are totally overlathered in makeup. And the music in these joints is absolutely terrible. And so many smoke(cos they have nothing better to do) and speak in grunts. Uncouth. Uncultured.

Again, I am so grateful for my interaction with the broader world community...

Mind Reader!

I was crumpled up in a heap-impromptu style- on my yoga mat- from sheer exhaustion (day in day out night in night out intensive study, prolonged stress and lack of rest over a long period of time is remarkably and amazingly disproportionately Qi sapping!)

So I lay like this in my lazy cocoon for approximately 30 minutes until I got interrupted by a random message from a pretty random person - just two words:

KEEP GOING!

hehe I couldn't help but grin (and wonder)...Some people are bloody Mind Readers!

I like intuitive water types :) Too bad I barely know any.

For the record, 5 more days til Liberation...

But ONLY 2.5 more days till I pick up my spanking new DSLR(Canon 450D/Rebel XSI!!!) :-)

p.s I've decided to call this camera "Horace" (don't ask me why it just randomly came to me) so soon there will be 3 to my camera family :) affectionately known as Buddy, Neo and Horace respectively :-)

Zhen Lessons in Wisdom: 101

I can't believe it's taken me nearly 28 years to really be able to fully understand and adhere to this Basic Wisdom...I've been Such a Dumb Stupid Ass all these years!

Yesterday after feeling completely buggered for the 2nd day in a row and only having had 4 hours sleep and practically nothing to eat all day, I STILL made myself go to my usual Yoga class...even though I felt like complete shit...cos I had told this new chick last week that I'd be there.

Duh. No surprise that I was so dizzy, weak and unstable with muscles like intractable lead, it was a completely pointless exercise except that the term "death warmed over" came to mind. And...SHE didn't even turn up!

So...It finally hit me how stupid I always am....I've always been SO PREOCCUPIED with being 100 per cent reliable and doing what I say I'll do that I do completely non common sensical things like that...

So anyway after that I felt so crap I went to the nearest store bought dinner but was so tired I couldn't even digest it and it kept all wanting to come up. Then I had to lie down for 3 hours cos I was so exhausted I couldn't even stand up to take a shower.

So...moral of the story:

If your Body Tells you something...Listen To it!

(ESPECIALLY important if you suffer chronic illness but still always push yourself way too hard.)

Also don't be Slaves to Deadlines unless your life depends on it or Overcommit yourself to too many people or too many events and Jampack your schedule to the brim always a month in advance with no leeway for Do Nothing Rest/You time!

Whether it's your gut or your heart or your muscles, LISTEN:

Because Your Body Always Knows Best!

From today onwards this is what I need never forget...hence even though it's 430pm and convention dictates that it's not allowable, I only just reemerged from bed :) having done nothing all day but "recuperate". I feel a whole lot better already and and much more fresh and ready to get started on tackling the final hill before the mountain...

Have a good day...Cheers :)

Music imbued with "The Spirit of Nature"

Hey Bohemian Buds!

A very talented spiritual musician happened to drop in with some music he composed that I think is pretty cool and you might like also :)

Check out 'Music is Love'- I found the piece very uplifting and inspirational :)

Newsflash, Newsflash, Newsflash!!!

My blog has MUSIC!!! Technically, I'm not slacking off, cos I need music in the background...to be able to study ;)

anyway have a listen and tell me what you think...it's a pretty random bunch of stuff (if there's any duds it's cos I threw in a handful of unheard songs by artists I like for me...)

I like so many different types of music you can probably understand why I've been accused of schizophrenia before! *LOL*

Happy, Happy, Happy :-)))

In my humble opinion, this is THE BEST INVENTION since the internet!!! *hops up and down with animated vigour*

P.S...can any geeky types tell me whether having the playlist on all day will consume all my internet download?

edit: it does...but not a whole lot unless you really leave it on playing for a while. However one reason to consider getting unlimited download!

Walking into the Dragon's Den

I am the snake compelled by the snake charmer's flute...I can feel myself walking into the Dragon's Den in full knowledge that a gruesome "final encounter" awaits but can't stop myself....

I know I should be beading sweat and feeling a nervous flip flop in my guts...

Even though my conscious mind is aware of this I'm still waiting for the adrenalin to kick in with an instinctual fight or flight response.

Somehow, I am desensitized, passive, indifferent.

*********

In any case, that time of year has rolled around again where Duty Calls and I must retire from the blogging world for an extended period...

So Ja Mata Ne from me, Take Care and Happy Blogging! :-)

By all means, Dig Yourself into a Hole but Don't Just Stay There!

I'm getting frustrated with all the negative doomsday sayers and depressed people that abound.

To these people, I'm just as tired of you as you are...I don't care how you achieve it but these are fundamental to your own happiness:

1. Love and Value Yourself
2. Look after yourself and treat yourself as you would your personal angel.
3. How shitty your life is is a large part to do with how much you are willing to accept- that which you can't change so be it, but that which you have any ability to change and improve - what are you doing still sitting there?!

Don't just accept what life hands you...challenge it, test it, work around it...why so closed minded?!

Trash those limited beliefs and start helping yourself-there is only so much you can rely on others...it all starts with you willing your life to be better and by implementing tangible changes to make it happen!!! One small step at a time...

okay, rant over...that just came steaming out!

I'm so glad for the few positive happy people in my life...or else I might just go insane!

This is my new resolution to myself:

"I refuse to accept any more negative people into my life. I emphatically 100% will not associate or invest any more energy in negative types outside of a purely professional scope, unless they're gonna make a concerted effort to get outta the hole!"

Cos in the end A Happy Island is better than a Miserable Metropolis...Anyday!

What I love about Scorpios- RESILIENCE - like a Phoenix, people with Scorpion traits arise time and time again from the smoking ashes...new and reinvented...you can't keep them down...they might trip into a pothole from time to time but soon enough they'll brush themselves off, and pull themselves out quickly enough so as not to wait for the pothole to collapse under their weight into a gaping dark chasm...

And Saggitarians are cool too cos they're Positive Glass Half-full people!

Pervs.

I wasn't going to mention it but the topic kind of cropped up...

my girlfriend rocked up today in a super-short skirt and some pretty high high heels...

me: that's a really short skirt!
her: yeah.
me: oh well at least you've got leggings, would you dare wear it without leggings?
her: oh yeah!

haha...I remember last year (the season of the micro mini) trying on the longest available skirt in the shop, examining it riding up my ass and thinking shit it's short! and at 26, that I was totally way too old to be wearing it!

So anyway now that I've gotten used to just how short skirts get, I no longer think their wear should be confined to younger age groups...but...I still wouldn't wear one in public! It's not actually that I'm being old fogey conservative or prudish...cos really, I have no qualms wearing minimal clothes in the privacy of my own home (provided there is a point: when the piece of material doesn't even cover your ass when you sit I'm not quite sure the point...you may as well walk around naked, which again, in the privacy of my own home, no issue, as long as it's Comfortable! ;)

The reason why I would never be seen in public in THAT short a skirt is plain and simple...Pervs! Basically, I think when you dress like that realistically, you're just asking for Trouble...

For me this whole modesty issue is also grounded in desiring a certain level of respect. And basically I don't think that's possible if all men notice is some ass walking around on legs...I'm not BLAMING them as such- I know it's all about their biological makeup blah blah they're visual, governed by their nether regions and have a weakness for low cut tops, long hair, short skirts and high heels etc etc...

It just gets kind of tiring (and perhaps I speak for at least some of my gender here)...this total objectification of women...if you just get whistled at instead of spoken to doesn't that sometimes make you feel just like a dog?!

...At least in regional areas you're a bit more tolerant cos the population is small, and single men rarely see any single women...but here, the population is a lot bigger so you get "perved on" or at least stared at a lot more frequently....even from my personal experience with my male friends- you can't even have a concentrated conversation with them cos their eyes are constantly flicking back and forth checking out every single female that passes within their line of vision!! The saddest part also is alot of men are actually "attached" but they just can't help themselves! :P

Sometimes when this kind of behaviour is more overt, it leads me to believe that a lot of people in relationships aren't actually happy in their relationship- rather it is a "safety holding pen" until they find someone better...(and that's 90% honesty speaking as opposed to jadedness.)

I know if you can be more attractive it has it's advantages- you sure get treated better when you dress better etc but I don't appreciate brainless superficiality in any form so being a subversive creature of nature...I deliberately dress down to avoid being a voluntary conspirator... A good experiment actually to illustrate just how superficial people are by nature is to go deal with the same people a) looking your worst b) looking your best...results are astounding!!!!

In the end though it's about personal choice- if dressing better gives you the self confidence you otherwise lack and you enjoy the attention or being stared at and are willing to put up with all this kind of crap than Happy Days to You!

I can only imagine how annoying it must be for women who look like Barbie Dolls...how hard must it be for them to get any respect let alone ever be taken seriously or have anyone believe that they might actually possess a brain?!

In the end dressing down deliberately or never dressing up makes sense because you don't want to attract anybody that is so superficial and shallow they only like you for being presentable on the external at that particular moment not for who you really are, and would likely want to dump you as soon as they see your normal reality at 6am in the morning sans makeup, blow dried hair and freshly brushed teeth ;)

Finally, this post brings to mind this woman in New Zealand lol.

Adventures in the city

So. I spent the entire weekend sitting on my ass in a seminar...but it was surprisingly enjoyable...and my brain juices were all stimulated and flowing and excited...inspired... so that's what I call a GOOD TIME! LOL does that make me a "N-yerd"?! (You so gotta see American Splendour if you wanna know the origin of that expression!)

Anyhow after being on my ass enclosed all day I decided to take a long protracted wander exploration in the search of some fish and chips...weird sudden craving cos really I don't really eat fish- I think I went close to 20 years completely fish free before I started it again (in the interests of good health of course!) It all started with a trip to the fish market when I was 3 or 4 - I saw all the glass eyed fish and asked my Pa if they were sleeping? When I found they weren't I felt very empathic with them and went on a fish boycott.

It continued when I saw some cutesy Japanese cartoon pencil case that said "Fish are my friends not my food!" and I stuck to it faithfully before I started getting all into diet therapy...

Asides aside, I ended up walking through a part of the city I'd never walked before and it was nice checking out all the old architecture and imagining picture perfect freeze frames for when I get my DSLR- I just love sandstone and cobblestone alleyways!

I also found myself *daydreaming* about when I can finally leave this city...in total honesty, I find this city very disheartening...on the rare occasions I do get out of my bubble I can't help but notice that there really are so many A-holes around! Several words come to mind when I think of Sydneysiders...Superficial, Shallow, Selfish, Pretentious! oh and increasingly...really quite materialistic!

Being back in Sydney these past few months is the sole reason I attribute to my gradually diminishing faith in people and also the reason why I've stopped making any effort to even vaguely meld and I've also stopped bothering being overtly nice, considerate or decent...it's also the reason why I love the *nice* haven of the blogging world and also physically escape every small opportunity I get with the past winter break and this summer break no exception...I escape this city purely so I can face it again with a renewed faith in people(!)

So anyhow my daydreams are not only filled with short breaks out of this city, they've actually evolved into detailed and practical plans for how to permanently leave and resettle in some other part of this awesome country! I have a fair few ideas about where but Western Australia is the final unchartered frontier I need to check out before I can firm up deciding on my final destination...

I'm feeling good as my dreams become concrete and practical plans and as the time ticks on I just get closer and closer to my dreams coming to fruition which once seemed so far away and intangible!

In this sense, it was a really satisfying day :)

Transcending Childhood...

My transformation from child to adult has been a very protracted work in progress.

I always had this preconceived idea that you only fully become an adult when you have your own children...but I have to say I'm actually starting to feel very Adult regardless-it's sort of become a rather firm and constant presence where as before the feeling was more like random, fleeting, sporadic bursts of visitation like that of enthusiastic tourists.


This card I pulled at Voice of the Angels sort of encapsulated this feeling...

When Times Get Tough...

this song somehow never fails to crop up on my ipod! (along with a wry smile)

this doesn't happen often...

but it's pretty weird how my ipod always seems to just "know" when I'm needing it!!

VOCALS BY FRENTE VERSION


So let the sun shine in
face it with a grin.
Smilers never lose
and frowners never win.
So let the sun shine in
face it with a grin
Open up your heart and let the sun shine in.

When you are unhappy,
the devil wears a grin
But oh, he starts to running
when the light comes pouring in
I know he'll be unhappy
'Cause I'll never wear a frown
Maybe if we keep on smiling
He'll get tired of hanging 'round.

ARGUABLY CUTESY(!?!)FLINTSTONES VERSION

It's kinda perverse...

I realised...that rather than focusing on "living life", I'm really addicted to documenting it...almost with a 3rd person removed kind of detachment sometimes!

ie rather than being pulled out to a social gathering, I'd much prefer to stay home and update my blog...and especially read blogs to see what everybody else is up to!

Okay, call me sad...but in the end - right now at least- it's all about sheer energy levels (of which are completely lacking!!)

Maybe a lame excuse...But I'm enjoying myself...and it's MY LIFE!!!

Sleeping on a Stone

A while ago Stoneweaver suggested sleeping on a stone.

The other day before sleeping I was going through my special box of rocks and admiring how pretty the gold flecks in my dark blue lapis lazuli were - a stone I had bought a while back but never really paid much attention to before...

Without much thought I popped it under my pillow.

Wow. Last night was the second night in a row I had the lapis lazuli under my pillow...

I had my first (free) flying dream. Not only that but I was flying over the ocean all around Australia scanning the beautiful coastline from above! :-D

I have no idea how this dream came about...perhaps it had something to do with reading about Jetman earlier in the week, or maybe it had something to do with reading the wizarding world of Harry Potter before bed?!!

S-W-E-E-T

When I was but a wee child, growing up the 4th born of 1st generation immigrants from a country where currency was a third, there wasn't any money for the non-essentials...

So whenever out with my far more well off cousins who always managed to leave the shop with the latest in fandangly toys, I might have gotten a tube of minties.

In this way, my (unfortunate) sweet tooth was born...



Since I should have been in one of this country's foremost epicurean regions since it's a long weekend (but I'm not due to the usual pressing deadlines of adult responsibility :P) I'm posting a pic from my last visit to a foodie region...what is likely THE BEST patisserie I have had in this country! Everything we tried was totally delectable.

In the pic you see a Fruit Tart, Baked Boysenberry Cheesecake and a Thai coconut cake. Guess which one I had?!

All this goodness- Z's taste test guaranteed- can be found at Choux Choux Patisserie in the olde worlde charm of Bangalow- a beautiful town a.k.a 'The Woollahra of the Shire" LOL.

Cheers to Good Eating and Drinking!

Did Aliens Invade My Sleep?!!!

I had remarked in the day after viewing Crop Circles,

"I wish I could visit one!" and that I was disappointed that there were none to be found in Australia.

Last night in my sleep Lo and Behold! I went for a Helicopter ride over a Crop Circle in Australia! Talk about instant gratification ;)

It was Amazing. Crop Circles are so very beautiful. Here are some favs (Germany seems to have some of the universe's most artistic aliens LOL)

Flower (I love this kind of pattern- I often draw similar patterns)

Yin&Yang (haha see even Aliens validate Chinese Medicine)

The Sun (the Sun is almighty to Aliens and humans alike!)

So is this the way the world ends?!

What are you trying to say?!

And typical elegance from Switzerland...

FluidFlower

okay this slacker needs to get cracking on work(!) Nice distraction for the day :)

p.s Random Thought: I LOVE Third Culture Kids!

Happiness is...

My dear rational and realistic friend heard me rambling on about something rather "fantastical" but very dear to my heart the other day (for the umpteenth time) and kindly gave me a gentle prod to maybe "curb" it in a little cos it's starting to get a little "weird"...

I was telling my other friend about this who has been through a lot and hence is arguably one of the "more spiritually evolved" ones of my friends...ever supportive, I really liked his encouraging and somewhat defensive response:

"What's so weird about that?!! You're living your dreams!"

:-D

Indeed.

For the First Time in My Life I actually Feel Free and able and ALLOWED to follow my gut, my heart, my dreams...

Therefore, I conclude...

Happiness is... *Living your Dreams!*

Hopeful ; )

Most people know Murphy's Law as "whatever can go wrong will go wrong".

Idealistic types like me who like to believe in miracles might like this new take on the definition...

"Anything that has a probability of happening >0 CAN and WILL happen. No exceptions."

I'm hopeful ; )

A strange day

Besides my alfresco on the floor dinner Today has been full of new experiences....I couldn't help spending most of the day smiling :)

I needed to get some documents witnessed so I ended up at a criminal court complete with hardened criminals and police!! It was definitely kinda exciting...suddenly boring old lawyers seemed brave, dashing and dangerous! LOL

Later I went to the famously XXX part of town which I've not seen for quite some time and not in the day...it's actually become pretty gentrified and actually reminded me a little of Soho with interesting little designer boutiques and lots of good food...it was fun pretending to be a Yuppie...my hot chocolate and friand in some hip cafe looked very designer but didn't taste too crash hot :P

I stickybeaked in a deli and tried fresh-made halva for the first time....yuck- sickly sweet! And I also saw a cake of quince which I don't recall seeing before....(apparently you eat slices of this with cheese and wine-the tartness complements well.)

I also had a lot of fun shopping in an upmarket grocer...these are my favourite just cos they always have food items you don't often get anywhere else- today the most interesting aquisition was green furry pod things a.k.a FRESH ALMONDS!! Like so...

Happy Days...Alfresco Dining!

I'm really enjoying the warmer weather- I've been taking advantage of being outdoors every night...usually breathing, meditating, doing yoga poses or lazing in a sandchair with my IPOD and admiring the stars :)

Last night I ate some leftovers with meat and I had a terrible sleep complete with psychadelic dream/nightmare (which I might outline in another post just cos I'd like to hear interpretations for it!)...anyhow so tonight I didn't dare another crappy night's sleep so got into the vegetarian groove.

Nothing gourmet...really simple but the novelty factor was really fun- I had lots of tiny dishes...tomato and baby spinach with caramelised balsamic and extra virgin olive oil, avocado slices, soba noodles, five grain rice, fried egg and french beans and to finish some papaya and pineapple...I wonder if with all of that I got sufficient nutrients?! I'm full at least :)

So I was sitting cross legged on my ratan mat on the balcony under the night sky with a Himalayan salt lamp flickering and ambient music eating but now I'm lazing on a banana chair with a big fat pillow, my Himalayan lamp and my laptop with wireless indulging in my favourite pasttime;)...and because it's the city, there are no mozzies or bugs to contend with! Talk about LIFESTYLE!!! lol

Who said city living was that bad?! hehe ;)

LOL I'm so glad my next door smoke-a-holics have moved on....I feel so much happier being able to breathe and eat in clean air and really enjoy my home to the maximum :-D