What Tarot Card are you?

Caroline did this and it seemed really accurate-so accurate in fact that if you had asked me to pick a significator for her I probably would have picked it...needless to say I couldn't resist ;)

Bizarre...I've always identified with the HERMIT card in the days as a teenager when I used to play with these...in any case I find this card THE LOVERS is really applicable to my current self now...themes associated with this card have definitely been my overriding "lesson" for a while now in a Big way!!

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

The Law of Droughts and Floods

My phones were going ballistic today. I just wanted to crawl under a table and hide.

I know there's Murphy's Law but I was wondering if there's a name for The Law of Floods and Droughts?

I find it weird how in everybody's lives there always seems to be periods of floods or droughts even when they themselves feel pretty constant. I can only put it down to astrological transits...

I'm not the kind of person that likes the 'excitement' of massive extreme swings in anything but it always seems to happen due to this law of Floods and Droughts...it's always a "the banks have broken downpour" or else "as parched as a desert at high noon"...have no idea why! Bizarre.

So that's what it felt like Today: suddenly all my friends came out of the woodwork all wanting a piece of me...so I felt kinda stressed cos I don't want to let people down but there is absolutely no way I can accommodate it all and my fairness obsessed Libran bits doesn't know how to choose between friends....

I think it's a relief that I only have a few close friends locally because I don't enjoy these Downpours!

An aside, I'm starting to feel the pull of Vegetarianism (which I guess I've always part avoided due to not wanting to succumb to people's Hippie sterotypes of me)- admittedly, I tried my crazy friend's detox raw food diet the other night as a one off experiment cos I felt gluggy but the next day when I ate meat, I actually felt sick! Eating food raw and not eating meat totally defies all logic and traditional Chinese medicine wisdom! But somehow I did feel better so I want to try it properly...

Will just have to finish/donate all the meat from my freezer so I can try properly...not looking forward to hearing the rants and lectures that will no doubt come from my immediate Asian (and therefore meat obsessed) family cos I think once you start you really can't go back....but I've had it with being Bullied into convention!

p.s I went to my first I paid to attend professional seminar on Mood Disorders the other night- since helping those with depression and mental health seems to be my calling...(I've stopped trying to fight it and am rather embracing it now LOL)

There were some really interesting revelations including a) how modern society treats and perceives people with depression and b) on SSRI drugs (which I am totally convinced are evil since losing a good friend to them who has since become a brick wall) Anyway if you're interested hopefully I'll get a chance to post these insights on my TCM blog sometime.

I lit a candle...

I love it- I found the link on Mara's inspirational blog.

If you want to see the message I left look for the one with "aoz AU" here...cos it burns out in 48 hours! :( ...unless I relight it hehe ;)...

I'm so glad I got back into "reikispace" tonight- the vibes sent out with that candle are so much more positively potent!

To light one yourself visit here.

Lo Siento, Mi Cuerpa

(I'm Sorry, My Body)

Alternatively, this post could be called "Eww Z...That's Disgusting!!!"

So next week we have the tiniest little recess from semester...somehow my body was more than aware of the fact it could finally just "let go" cos I didn't leave my bed for the last SIXTEEN+ hours(!!!)

Exhausted.

Unbelievable! I'm not even jetlagged or sick- I have never spent so much consecutive time in bed! Just from that much rest I also noticed my pupils went all *sparkly* which is something I definitely have not seen for a looooong time...yes, Rest is Good! :)

In any case, basically that 16+ hours is the equivalent of about 3-4 Whole Days of my usual rest...I know-shocking, I definitely have been mistreating my body-basically because I'm so busy with daily grind the only time I get "leisure time" is to ill treat my body by depriving it of sleep so I can read blogs, see friends, blog ;) etc...

So anyway when I emerged from bed as the last rays of sun were dying it felt pretty disgusting to have slept the whole day away! And I really craved some fresh air...so taking a note from my friend who's doing a detox diet I cut loads of fresh veggies and fruits and packed them all up and rushed to the park with my IPOD and sand chair...one of the weirdest things I've done in a while but it totally made my day(or night)!

The quiet, clean air, the peace of nightfall was such a nice opportunity to detox and rejuvenate...and the best part? I saw stars! :-D

Even if you do get a couple weird looks by the occasional bypasser, at least you can rely on city people to mind their own business. I think I'll have to do it more during the warmer months- such a nice way to re-ground, really savour every mouthful of food and just

*Enjoy living in the moment*

It's all relative...

So I got caught out daydreaming again. This time catching the train in the wrong direction and ending up a third of the way to my old town! Unfortunately I had on me some items that needed to be refrigerated so I could not give in to my deep heartfelt desire to take a 5 hour joyride and drop in for a "quick visit"!

Musings for today:
When I mix with really privileged people who have had "soft, easy" lives and see what is "tough going" for them, I have a perverse, arrogant sense of pride in the resilience and strength I've demonstrated in adversity...

but in the end it's all relative-there are always people worser off and better off than you-basically one learns to adapt and cope according to how one's life is.

I realised though that if you have to endure a lot of shit, it's possibly better to go through it earlier in life rather than later cos at least if it happens earlier you're more mentally tough so that if shit strikes again you won't end up crumbling into a hopeless heap like people who are first timers at a later age when they have less of that resilience you naturally have with youth....it's definitely a handy life skill to have!

In any case, the worst outcome is that because of these "life experiences" disproportionate to my age I find it pretty well impossible to relate to people my own age and even worse, it is quite a bit harder to really respect people who have had really easy lives.

The best outcome is that I have an immense sense of compassion for people who have to deal with adversity so I'm a good source of support for people like this.

Anyway just rambling to myself as usual. I'm buggered. I think I'll just eat plain rice for dinner.

Have a good weekend...I'm looking forward to mine :)

What Planet did you hail from?!!

So...it's been a seriously busy and stressful week but also one full of fascinating insights and revelations. This is going to be long- where should I start? :)

Yoghurt Cafe Insights

Huge sigh of relief with the end of another huge exam - ended up spending the last couple hours with a friend gasbagging in a new "healthy" yoghurt cafe she expected I would like but didn't cos it was TOO healthy(people soooo stereotype me)...the thing is the cafe had these tricky little lights which make it feel like day the whole time, so we had no idea how late it was!

Anyway so one of the things we got talking about was Why we seem to like/click with certain people and not others? I was offering some thoughts and then she butts in with "That's why I like you- you're REAL!"

LOL think she hit the nail on the head on that one...too bad "REAL" people seem like such a rarity these days!

I was telling her about some of the interesting people I've met recently and then she butts in with another amusing insight: "Your Passion is People!" (wow, when you put it that way I really feel like I should start my own employment agency or something!LOL)

From the desk of an "interesting" person...

Anyway, another interesting moment was on the weekend when I had a chance to meet my first non random real live new person in a while - a friend of a friend. It was pretty funny...he was asking my mate "how do you know her?" but more in an incredulous look kind of way that I interpreted as "What Planet did you Hail from?"!! *LOL

Anyway it was pretty funny, cos typical for Geminis, he was absolutely totally fascinated by all the crap that was coming out of my mouth especially re: my astrological theories which I've gathered from my whole life of serious people studying (which is admittedly one of my favourite pasttimes)...so interested in fact that he skipped his made plans to come to dinner with us instead haha ;)

Anyway my mate and this guy started telling me that I bring up the most out of the norm things into conversations (especially for meeting someone on the first time) and that's what puts me in the ranks of "seriously interesting" ;)

Except for in school when I noticed I think really differently from other people, this had never consciously dawned on me much...

It's not a conscious or premeditated thing at all though. I guess perhaps if everyone is blessed with something, my blessing would be being perceived as "interesting" by other people. It's kinda cool that people just want to get to know you for nothing else than they're curious and they find you "intriguing"! :)

In any case I've been asked several times by people saying they "don't know how" to be interesting conversationalists and I find it amusing that there are whole books on the topic of "how to be interesting". I don't claim to be an expert but since I've been asked and since I don't believe people should be paying for such information- here is my 5c worth on the matter:

How to Be "Interesting"

1) Be genuinely interested in and curious about other people - ask questions*! ...More often than not, people love talking about themselves!

*disclaimer: I do tend to ask whatever I feel like but apparently somehow I can do it without coming across as inappropriate, rude or nosy...so to play it safe, leave your most burning and invasive questions for a second or third meeting, not the first...I obviously haven't analysed myself so don't know how I do it!

2) Dare to be yourself- an individual, and always be honest and sincere - sooner or later people will see through any false pretences so just be yourself!

3) Have a broad range of interests and if you don't, read widely or keep a diverse range of friends and acquaintances.

Anyway that's about it! TOO EASY!!!


It just blew my mind!

a self confessed "queer girl" wrote the other day...anyway she said something that completely blew my mind....I was asking her to "clarify" what exactly she meant by "Queer"...and basically she said it like this..."when I look at a person I don't see a guy or a girl, all I see is whether the person has any substance!" WOW, I was so impressed: What a unique and refreshing thought!

TCKs (Third Culture Kids)

This is a fascinating concept my Yoghurt Cafe friend told me about....she thinks I'm one too - a global nomad- global cultured with little tolerance for monoculture...most of my friends are at least dual cultured. It makes a lot of sense. Anyway apparently if you suffer cultural identity confusion there is a book on ATCKs you HAVE to read-apparently it's very liberating!

What I'm excited about
Another lost Blast from the Past just popped back into my environs- so I'm going to get up ridiculously early and pay a surprise visit- should be fun- loads of stories to share!
Fingers crossed, I will also spend the afternoon meeting my new nephew as planned....sheesh, it's about time!!! :P

there was actually one more pretty interesting revelation from this week, but that's quite enough ramble crammed into one post, so till next time- Happy Blogging! :)


Zhen, powered by






the "drug" of choice especially on EXAM days! *lol

Now this is a seriously disturbing thought...

Not yet half way through, and it's not just that the going is tough...

Since I embarked on my studies with the idealistic "I'm going to to save the world with..." plus I want my own career, my own business etc, I've been living a very blinkered one track-minded and limited version of life...

Foregoing several opportunities, making quite a few sacrifices, turning lots of blind eyes in the process...cos God forbid if anything take me off my track!

My first semblance of a wake up call came in January via a supernatural meeting of sorts, la la la although I didn't miss that it was Huge, because I'm anti-confrontational at my core, I still chose to ignore it...then recently the health scares, that was the second major wake up call...and I think THAT'S the one that really kicked in(cos that is something all too familiar I can relate to)...

So having had Time to reflect on these wake-up calls, I realised what I am living is not really living, it's merely existing and for what? For a career! Hmmm, somehow with this new mindset, the maths doesn't really seem to add up...

A health caring, life-saving career is all fine and well and noble but as older, wiser K :) pointed out, you can't help others unless you can help yourself...and with my ongoing medical issues, I've pretty much been near killing myself to try and achieve what I thought has always been my ultimate dream...to have a purposeful and fulfilling career and run a successful business.

But I noticed, perhaps I already inherently have in my character the capacity to help a lot of people in a big way...and perhaps a further tool is not necessary since isn't that all that matters in The Big Picture??

an aside, the number of random depressed/people with issues I seem to have attracted into my life in the past couple of months especially has really been completely uncanny! And I think although I did use tcm as a tool, I think the tools that really made the difference was more my big mouthed logical psychobabble and my care...

I don't know maybe it's the wisdom you get with having lived longer...but having those two wakeup calls, I'm starting to realise maybe I was wrong...in the Grand Scheme of LIFE, career is probably not that big a deal in terms of what makes you Happy long-term! In the case of healthcaring, it can actually be quite stressful being surrounded by sick and miserable people with their negative vibes all the time! And...Life is short!

So....I dunno. We'll see...I guess there'll be good scope for really honest soulsearching within myself when I'm in the middle of woop woop with nothing but the sky and the grass to distract me....that's if I pass through this semester and still have the option to choose(!!)

Control freak tendancies even for your own life are soooo irrational but that is the nature of the human beast: we're imperfect beings.

Zhen gets out of her Comfort Zone...Really.

So. My flights are booked.

In search of big open skies, clean air and plenty of space, on the random spur of a random moment I decided to give SERIOUS *country bumpkin* living a whirl...

So right after exams conclude, I'll be heading out like a foreign backpacker to do manual labour on a remote FARM for a few weeks (it would have been the entire summer but I have to get back for x'mas cos my bro's coming from the States...I think that may have been a blessing in disguise!).

I'm excited but also daunted and fearful. It is at times like these I hear the reassurance of my religious friends..."God will provide".

My biggest concern is the remoteness- I have no idea how to even get from the airport to the farm - apparently hitching is still common there but THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL my rational brain thinks that is a good idea.)

Without a car and not knowing how to drive, I will also need to rely on others just to do simple things like buy groceries...I guess I've put myself in a pretty uncomfortable situation of vulnerability and dependence- heavily relying on people around me to be decent and charitable people(eek!)

Food wise, I doubt I can get asian ingredients or any of my usual specifics or organics...oh yeah and I'm not sure if there is any mobile reception let alone internet...I obviously don't know anybody and it's going to force me to exercise my best social skills...no room for being anti-social Missy! *lol

Should be interesting, and the limitations will make for a good exercise in one of my biggest weaknesses...Discipline! ...especially with having to get out of bed early!

Hopefully it all works out cos otherwise I'll be Up Shit Creek and stuck cos at this peak season flights home will not only be expensive but booked out.... and I don't think there is much work to be found somewhere like that...

anyone up for Chinese massage?!!!

So at the mere thought of The Impending Adventure, I can only take comfort in that Aussie saying: "She'll be right!!!"

edit: farm just contacted me-i wasn't overestimating...just getting to the farm is sure gonna be some adventure...eeek! they ended the instructions with GOOD LUCK(!)...sounds like I'm going to be relying on the grace of God and my own resourcefulness to get there and come back safely in one piece!

No Sympathy for Smokers

My sis's friend wrote to me asking advice on her infertility woes. She's stressed out and she's a smoker....she also has a very young child.

I was not impressed.

Well no wonder you're freaking stressed f*ck even I am freaking stressed just from having this passive nicotine going into my bloodstream 24-7!

Nicotine is a stimulant and a vasoconstrictor Lady. How the heck can you relax or even get any decent sleep with that shit constantly in your system? (I certainly can't!)

Meanwhile, your bub is having to inhale that shit while his body is at it's most critical time in his development! Not to mention you're contributing to debilitating disease and premature death for all those that have to share the air around you...

Perhaps a good start would be speaking to someone from Quitline, and maybe pay your local acupuncturist a visit- I hear ear acupuncture is incredibly effective to deal with the addiction and cravings...and the best part? No needles and I think it's cheaper than patches!

While I'm a Knowledge Gathering Whore...

I gotta admit...especially for those born high strung like me: Ignorance is Bliss!

a couple weeks back we had some health scares in the family which was a Major trigger for me...

the worst part is, when other people have problems I start worrying like nothing else and the worst part is I don't just leave it at the door...I internalise it-my stomach literally goes into knots: then I get sick. Having all this medical knowledge as well actually just makes the worry a whole lot WORSE- I totally get why lots of people just refuse to go to the doctor: Knowledge can be a Burden with a capital 'B' (as much as it is empowering and liberating too! :)

I also wish I cared less and felt less responsible for the welfare of others- but then again, I AM a Water sign! And maybe that's why I may one day make a kick ass Chinese doc yet!

So anyway recognising this has got to stop I got myself a Chinese patent the other day- what I know as Jia Wei Xiao Yao San but the good folks at BTRT know it by this euphemism which I thought was so to the point it was amusing...


p.s GROUNDING is a really simple and effective tool to combat stress as well...if you can't get to the beach, park, yoga, just connecting with the earth by sitting or lying on the floor can be really helpful. Right now I only sit on a chair when absolutely necessary- instead I have my yoga mat set up 24-7 where I do stretches, have meals on etc....it's surprisngly calming! If you find it hard to sit on the floor for extended periods, I highly recommend getting yourself a Nada chair.

What I like about Californians...

I've been lucky enough to come across a real, live Californian. I was chuffed: Because he completely fit my stereotype of how a Real Californian should be.

For example:

-friendly, easy going, casual, Totally open-minded to everything!
-health freak, health conscious and healthily tanned
-creative type: makes documentaries and does digital media arts
-does not go to doctors or take conventional medicine - instead self medicates with "'erbs"
-does not believe in chemicals so in lieu of conventional deodorants smells of a new-age shop, later identified as patchouli oil.
-named after the stars in the sky! (Cool...)
-had a dero little rat tail which just reinforces the whole "au naturel" vibe.

So very Bohemian!! I was very amused.

The only thing I found slightly askew was that he had this thick kinda *drawl* I could barely comprehend at times- an accent I would have associated more with what a Texan is supposed to have...another Californian remarked, "probably Northern Californian!" (whatever that means!)

In any case, apparently I'd really like California- it's a place where Hippies are the norm. They have a great alternative medicine scene there too.

Although California definitely has it's appeal, I think I love Australia too much to ever leave!

I need inspiration.

So I turned to the good book- the encyclopaedia that is...

According to Wikipedia, inspiration comes in 4 forms:

1.sudden creativity in artistic production
2.an uncovering or disclosure of something hidden via communication from the divine
3.the doctrine in Judeo-Christian theology concerned with the divine origin of the Bible
4.the movement of air into the lungs

I'm not sure if any of those were the kind of inspiration I had in mind but No.2 sounds good too :)

My Favourite Thing on The Web

THIS has got to be THE MOST entertaining, intriguing, amusing and creative-minded blog and blog personality I've come across so far...there are some *absolutely side splitting* laughs in here so have a good look around!


edit: oh this is waaay too much fun- it's like your one stop shop for fun on the web!!! :-D

So far I've discovered The Scribbler. Arghhhh it's Instant Love!

Introducing my first ever creation:

Ohmygosh I feel a compelling urge to start a scribble blog(!!) I can already see this adding to my pre-existing HEAP of unhealthy addictions and unnecessary distractions! :-p

In any case be sure to check out all the other cool "talent" ;) that abounds at The Scribbler Gallery...HAVE FUN!!!

p.s is this not the cutest little alien animal you've ever seen?! it's a kangaroo rat apparently...mail.com for more details!

Woman of Impulse ;)

So. Late last night I casually acted on an idea that I'd been toying with at the back of my mind.

Today I got a mini confirmation :) Anyway I won't blab my plans just yet but I'll let you know when things are firmer...eg. flights booked and more idea of what's happening!

It's a little adventurous and definitely a little off the beaten track for me but I'm seriously excited...hopefully these little fizzy bubbles of excitement will be enough positive fuel to get me through the remaining semester successfully so that I can be back to the slaughter again next year!

ooh I haven't heard feedback from what the folks think yet but HAHA it's great when you finally feel able to go through with your whims even if other people disapprove and want to stop you!

Adrenalin Junkies, Take Note!

It is not necessary to spend $300 or more to go get your adrenalin rush.

Every week, my heart starts palpitating, my stomach gets knotted and beads of sweat start forming on every conceivable pore: the feeling of FEAR sets in...

and the best part? It's all FREE!

What am I talking about?
Acupuncture clinical practicum of course!

Amateurs with dubious needling technique wield rough and cheap needles in almost every conceivable bodily crevice.

Each week all our pain thresholds get tested and the sense of danger is all too present as vulnerable little compulsory guinea pigs...especially when a certain needs-to-dig-for-gold teacher gets his hands on the needle... in this case, even the biggest, boldest most macho man is not spared the shame of displaying tangible fear- with very loud expletives known to emit from mouths!

For the amateur practitioner there is also a very real danger of being kicked in the face if you hit something sensitive like a nerve, tendon or bone.

oh, too fun :P

p.s for more fun stories check out my tcmstudentlog - the posts just got more interesting...

Grandma.

Today two things happened- one large and significant, and one small and trivial: however both contributed to an immense feeling of FEELING OLD :P

This morning we welcomed a beautiful baby boy into the family :) I now have 2 nephews and 2 nieces directly and many more too numerous to mention. I am an AUNTY so many times over!

Eeek, I feel old.

Furthermore...a passing comment from a friend on my short hair:
"Your hair suits your age"

...so we're only 6 years apart, but surely that doesn't make me too old for long hair to suit either??!

Hmmm, at my age my mother already had 2 toddlers! Sometimes, I feel a bit like that Coldplay song "Talk" cos the lyrics mention "going nowhere much too fast".

I guess that is the seed which starts the whole quarterlife crisis thing- because we have so many expectations of what people should be doing and what they should have achieved by certain ages, when we don't fit into these social conventions then it's easy to feel a bit...crisis-y!

Urgh, I hate feeling old, I know, it's so irrational but I guess it's all relative(you feel it more as a mature age student amongst high school freshies for sure!).

Even so, I definitely cannot relate to 75% of people my immediate age. Maybe I should make a concerted effort to try and understand them better by making myself go out and interact with more of them- maybe they can teach me how to be my own age?!

In any case there's that saying: "you're only as old as you feel."

Well I feel at least 60. And my joints crack and ache too :p LOL

Weighing into the Great Cities of The World Debate...

Like I said. (article: "Sydney suffers and the winner is....Melbourne!")

Am I aiming to be contentious and provocative in writing this post?

No. Rather, this is just an expression of my honest opinion.

I've only ever been out of Sydney 1 year of my life and that was all that was needed to convince me Sydney no longer deserves such high ranking in the most liveable cities in the world as it always used to: that's a totally bygone era.

Sure, Sydney was a great place growing up 20 years back but now on my return although it makes for a great tourist visit city (great beaches, good food, iconic landmarks etc) it's not particularly liveable- most notably,
Crime, traffic, high housing, petrol and rental costs, really bad public transport...even food costs which used to be relatively cheap, the rapid inflation on that I've witnessed in the past year alone has been incredible!

People are also not as friendly as they used to be(ok, bar rare and random exceptions)- everybody is very much caught up in the rat race as people work ridiculous hours comparable to any other major city, just to survive.

The irony is that most Sydneysiders still retain that "superiority complex" that they're better than any other inhabitants of Oz! Basically while Sydney has been sitting back resting on its laurels, other cities have actually made effort and bypassed it!

Before Global Warming became so apparent these last 5 years or so, yes we had awesome weather as a major liveable city drawcard but now...there are no longer 4 distinct seasons- so we have become just like Melbourne where you famously get '4 seasons in one day'!

Unlike most globe trotting Sydneysiders who have not set foot in their own backyard, I've actually travelled most of this big brown land and I'd have to say there are still plenty of really nice places in this country to live, just Sydney is not one of them!

If you have an opinion on this, feel free to weigh in on the debate ;)

Hello, Coasties!

Just wanted to say a big *Hello* to any rural/regional Aussies in case they ever happen to surf into this blog especially if you're from the Central Coast (blatant plug LOL- support the community!)

Had the good fortune last night to meet the first one of you I've seen in 8 months and it was so refreshingly nice- definitely you out-o-towners are soooo different to city slickers: it's immediately obvious!

I Miss you People! In any case, I'LL BE BACK!

Best Wishes,

Your fellow Coastie ;)

Play till you can Play no more...

So. Allowing myself complete freedom to just Play has been the latest strategy in my student life saga. I knew drastic action was necessary since my burnt-outedness was actually reaching a crisis point (ie: I, the so far excellent student to date, literally failed a test because I was so past caring I didn't bother studying). So basically the last 2-3 days and nights I've been throwing all sensible regulations out the windowso I could play to my heart's content- allowing myself to DO WHATEVER as I please!

So today, rather than my usual *fascinating but responsible* routine of clean house, study, qigong class, grocery shop, cook dinner, clean up, study, sleep I did ABSOLUTELY none of this!and just spent the morning reading blogs to my heart's content, then leisurely perused a design exhibition, had a really late and leisurely lunch, then ate some really delicious tofu icecream, and trawled wholefood stores for cool products. It was pretty strange actually...somehow omnivore me, the vegan shop lady and the vegan depressed nurse in the shop all got into a really in depth, soul bearing and lengthy conversation on health matters. I'm not sure if I have a knack of getting into fascinating conversations with random strangers or whether it's just the environment of these types of stores! Or perhaps it also has a lot to do with my fascinating field of study/profession... because people are always curious, I love talking about it, and they get all this health advice fee free with the real benefit being that since I am not actually practising they know the advice I'm giving them is completely objective and without ulterior self interested motives!

Anyway in short, I think the "play play" strategy worked :) Now, although I'm really tired(decent hours of sleep got sacrificed for play), I just want to stay in and actually feel like doing work!

NOW I get it. If dealing with a rebel, the most powerful tool you have up your sleeve is to allow them full blown freedom...Mothers Take Note- it's total reverse psychology almost but somehow it really works!!!

P.S Re: Veganism I don't understand why they don't eat organic/free range eggs- since they are unfertilised, no animal is being killled! I don't even see it as animal exploitation since the egg would just sit there, rot away and be wasted anyway where as we humans can derive incredibly nutritious sustenance from it! That's just my personal opinion- I respect your right to differ!

A Curious Mix: Introverts and Parties!

I'm currently sporting blue panda eyes(this is definitely much worse than traditional black panda eyes!)

in addition I'm still sporting blue glitter fingernagels (this I can live with cos it'll fall off soon enough!)....Since the need for makeup remover arises on average only once a year(not kidding!), I'm being rationally cheap by not investing in any ;)

*****

So....large scale costume party in a club....SO NOT MY SCENE.

Firstly the music was really bad on the verge of offensive and the doof doof was like a drill progressively going deeper into my headache(not that anybody else noticed- I guess if you go enough to these places you must get innured to Bad music LOL) Actually the bar staff were pretty shocked when I asked if they could change the music - I think they were thinking
...who does this girl think she is?! *lol*

But anyway I was amongst friends and several close ones so I was completely comfortable to do as I pleased...Comfortable enough to curl up on the comfy couches for some much needed shut eye LOL and not feel obligated to be a social whore.

I'm not always inherently antisocial, it's rather I have little tolerance for small talk, and despite lots of interesting people around, these kinds of places are not exactly conducive to in depth meaningful conversations or really getting to know people....so I'd rather not expend the energy!

So yeah I had a reasonably good time(don't think it beats a Friday night in though ;) despite being anti-social and not talking much...eating, drinking, playing trivia, watching people dance (I love watching hip hop, pop and boogaloo styles!) most of all I spent a good deal of time taking photos and video :)...it's a real shame I have no proper working camera but I still managed to get some awesome content...there was so much there to work with I was like a very happy kid in a candy store :-D Unfortunately my camera was not able to keep up especially in terms of reading the light and shutter response! Not sure if I will post after I upload cos perhaps it's a privacy issue... we'll see.

there was so much digital recording going on, I tried to avoid being in front of camera as much as possible...some people call it camera shy but I just don't think the real me translates to 2D pixels well and cos I'm always aware, I always have this distinctly uncomfortable look on my face! When it comes to large scale parties, although I don't enjoy going to them, I have no qualms attending in the role of "official photographer/videographer", then it just becomes indulging another "hobby" :)

In any case I still felt like an old grandma amongst youngsters *LOL.

p.s Got to ride in only my 3rd ever different type of black vroom vroom sportscar i.e low to the ground, 2 doors, manual transmission, black leather inside, 0-100km in 6s or something...In any case not quite the Aston Martin Vanquish of my dreams -you can have socialist ideals but still have expensive taste!/preferences ;) LOL - but a bit of scary fun-these hoonheads so need to learn to drive properly!!!

p.p.s was that a bit unexpected that I demonstrate an appreciation for things with 4 wheels? yeah, that's due to having been predominantly socialised by 'boys' LOL- Boys Toys definitely have always had way more appeal here...

HOT OFF THE PRESS! = D

my 24-7 chainsmoking pipe smoking neighbours are moving out!!!!!!!!!

......gggGREAT !!!

now I'm in the mood for a Party :-DDD!

please can the next ones be nice, keep normal hours, employed, sane, english speaking non substance abusing health freaks? maybe in their 30s with an interest in art, culture, film and music? LOL just thought I'd put the thought/hope out there! : )

Daily Life: a surprisingly nice day.

So...after class my good friend A (who knows how to sew) graciously accompanied me to the craft store to help me buy some materials for a last minute costume for the school party(my very best school friend organised it and would kill me if I did a no show- now I'm back in the city I have no valid excuse to party poop either LOL...the funny part was, already expecting me to be antisocial I found out she even pre-engaged a chaperone to make sure I don't end up sitting in a corner-unbelievable! LOL-extroverts don't understand us introverts at all - we are perfectly happy to sit in a corner, to not be noticed, resting instead of having to expend energy socialising with a whole room of complete strangers and we very much enjoy being able to people watch in peace!

Anyway with A, it was really fun just walking and talking and stopping along the way to indulge our love of food...a new discovery for me were the pretzels at the German Bakery- Yum!

Basically it's all about good company :) And despite all the negativity I feel in the city from the way cityfolk are relative to countryfolk, A is one of the two people in the world I never have any difficulty feeling UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for all the time....she is so heart of gold sweet it really makes my day to be around someone so wholesome, pure and decent :-)

I still feel really cranky re: selfish people, insincere people, people who have ulterior motives and mean-spirited intentions, takers, exploiters, bitchy types, calculating types, shallow people, pretentious people, fairweather 'friends' and inconsiderate people...basically that covers most locals I seem to have met in this city to date(!)

anyway before this post gets too aburrida I thought it'd be fun to note my favourite of the search terms I noticed so far that landed people at my blog...

"brain tricking images"

"new words for cool"

"the art of self confidence"

wow I was impressed...so intellectual, sane and G rated compared to many others I've seen!

Other random revelation: I feel like a kid cos I have blue glitter sprinkles all over my nails :-)(part of costume and I couldn't find blue nailpolish)...anyway busy day/night/weekend ahead so NEED TO SLEEP! *wan an* (that's me speaking toneless mandarin ;)

Super Mario Rescues the Princess :)

Part of Seth McFarlane's Cavalcade of Comedy on Youtube. It takes a Scorpio to have such a wicked sense of humour ;)

Those Tell-Tale Signs...

You know someone is in the midst of some kind of "life crisis" when something funny happens to their appearance/hair e.g Britney Spears...or the metro guy who's hair precious who shaves it all off after he gets dumped?!

so, I was waaaaay overdue for my locks to be trimmed and having the serendipitous gift of finishing early due to an exam, I seized the opportunity...

when the lady said "how would you like it?"

my response was

"Don't know/don't care, just cut it!" (in a nice tone though). LOL (that's my usual response anyway, hair grows back it's not something that I'm particularly attached to unlike the typical girly girl).


So anyway rather than just a straightforward trim, she took the liberty of "fashioning my hair" into a pretty different hairstyle...complete with FRINGE (cos that is just so "in" right now)...


I have not sported a fringe since the age of 12! weird.

Now I really don't recognise myself. My first impression was "I think I look like a supercute cartoon character". Definitely more asian- perhaps even anime-esque?

If I wear my glasses as well my friend thinks I resemble a supernerd- I guess I look a bit like an Asian Daria(3rd from left) but with short hair where as previously I looked more like Jane(2nd from left)...note both of their "not impressed" facial expressions? yeah that part only came after 8 months of being back in the city and now seems a permanent fixture until I manage to escape...

This new hairstyle is definitely quirky- can't wait to show my girly friend E who is going to scream lol looking forward ;) She, quote: "I Hate you with short hair!"(soooo superficial!), plus she also hasn't any appreciation for quirkiness='downright abnormal'...LOL we both know if it weren't for school there is no way in hell we would ever have managed to become such good friends! The girls at school all advised me to not cut but grow it out long and feminine but eh, not a fan- too high maintenance, and I guess I was in the mood for different...I guess a little quirky expresses my inner personality more accurately. Before I looked really normal conventional and boring...

BEFORE: think Juno








ie: ponytail is extent of "hairstyle"




NOW: it's more like Amelie but longer.

so, more belong at an artsy fartsy design exhibition or low budget amateur film competition *LOL definitely got the daydreaming bit down pat! will be interesting to take note of whether I get treated differently and how...

Crazy Ideas with The Saturn Return!

So it's been "tomorrow" and then some, but I'm still feeling quarterlife crisis-y...

I guess it all comes down to being triggered- so last week there was a series of events which reminded me of human fragility, mortality etc and that life is short...and hence that we should ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!

this thought sent me into a tailspin examining my current life, and how it is so rigid with no scope for fun that if I really think about it I feel very much like a caged bird...and long to be free as a butterfly!

I guess The Saturn Return also compels you to look at your life and question "what is really important to me"? and I realise I have a great desire to be with nature, in a natural environment and to feel free...

but in the city I really feel like a caged bird. Not only that but although this is the city I know best, I really don't feel like I belong. I guess it is like my friend who is moving to Melbourne- she went for the first time only last week but immediately thought "I'm home"...even though I knew nobody in my regional town and the general population were all retirees some decades my senior, I felt a lot more at home. True Sydneysiders just seem so ridiculously pretentious especially to those of us who regularly interact with people ex-Sydney...

So spur of the moment crazy idea...maybe I should fling aside some 'duty' for a bit and investigate my dream: I want to live off the land! or at least try it so maybe spend the summer on a farm fruitpicking(!!!)

Basically when I really dug deep asking what I want in life- the honest answer that came back was shamefully simple and very disturbing...a far cry from my big headed idealism of trying to help heal people via TCM...

Basically, all I really want is to have a cottage on a reasonably secluded rural or coastal property where clean air and beautiful space is abundant, and sit on the verandah in a rocking chair with a cup of tea, watching the gum trees sway in the breeze listening to the kookaburras laugh while the sun sets and my chickens and ducks peck and wander aimlessly...and maybe being able to walk to a desolate beach round the corner for a run with my tin tin dog and to squelch my bare feet in the wet sand and then come back to my organic veggie patch and fruit trees to pick some fresh produce in time for dinner. That's all- not too much to ask?!(!!) Somehow it feels wrong to have such self serving desires and to not have a purpose that benefits the wider community...

LOL when I read back though that...sheesh! what I want in life just shows how much of an Old Granny lives in this body!

When Chaos Reigns...

Look for opportunity! Apparently that's a sentiment from the I-Ching. About a year ago or so I started noticing what I perceived as a premature "mid-life crisis"...my in-the-know friend however, wisely informed me it was noneother than the quarter-life crisis! The thing is, when I look around, it's not just me- havoc seems to be toying with most people of my immediate vintage - it's certainly a really "happening" time!

Growing Pains?!!!

Everything started making a whole lot more sense when I accidentally found out about the astrological concept of The Saturn Return...this is pertinent to all those in the vicinity of the big 3-0! Very interesting!

Like I've been saying since I was 16, I can't wait to be 40...now I know why!

Torture me and I'm still not budging.

Okay I'm in one of those really "self jeopardising can't be stuffed moods". I'm being reckless and irresponsibly rebellious. I've taken the liberty of taking the rest of the day off COS I'M JUST SO TIRED! It's basically 3 strikes and you're out so this far into semester I'm allowing myself one strike (feel the "break" will help me regain some balance and replenish the empty reserve).

I've been feeling very unmotivated... so when I sat down to watch Grey's yesterday - tv watching is such a foreign event my set is not even plugged in- it occurred to me when I'm at home, I never allow myself time to just fully relax- veg and just enjoy life's simple pleasures...so now I'm just throwing all caution to the wind- my timing sux I know. Basically, I've hit a brick wall- I'm just so tired- hence no motivation- apathy- can't be stuffed! I don't feel frustrated like I want to box a punching bag, rather I just feel like I need a tension release, to feel free...ie I just want to go for a nice long run on a large desolate rural property or a deserted beach or something...not possible right now...GRRRrrrrr.

At times like these I really need something to reenergise and quick!

Unfortunately the only full-proof solution is GETTING OUT OF THIS DAMN CITY! But there is no scope...and definitely no time within rigid schedule... I did try the escapist thing by going to the cinema but...soooo didn't work!

In any case what is worse to compound this "blah mood", is the fact that the best friend I have made this year who frequents my daily life is leeeeeaving! And it's really hard to have this kind of daily grind without a really good friend by your side to endure every step of the protracted suffering with!

*sighhhhhh* this friend leaving thing...STORY OF MY LIFE! The Chinese say you are born with different kind of luck- I have to say in terms of friends I'm totally jinxed since birth- all my closest friends have always picked up and moved- I'm not sure, perhaps I am just naturally attracted to Happy Wanderers? In any case, it is very disconcerting and destabilizing, cos I think for me my close relationships are my "roots"-they give me the framework for who I am, a sense of groundedness, stability etc...I'm really starting to wonder-is it worth it for me to even bother making effort to get to know new people since they all typically Leave as soon as I feel comfortable and close!

okay end of whingey rant- maybe after a nice long sleep, an intensive music listening session and a nice long yoga session in lieu of being a responsible student, I can get on with the job :P

Leap of Faith

Now that I meet so many new people relative I'm starting to wonder: How do you tell if someone is..."Kosher"? I'm starting to try and go with irrational first gut instincts, but if that's not in working condition I'm starting to wish that people just came with verifiable references...such is my innate distrust of the majority of random strangers :p

In the end, I think getting to know new people is very much a leap of faith because you have the completely sane people that can come across as weird or nutty but aren't actually, the completely sane seeming people who are actually hiding a completely insane interior but you only discover that later on etc...

one of my quirkier mates once affirmed it is all the seriously conventional normal seeming people who are actually the true screwballs hiding the weirdest things, not the people that come across as different or interesting. I guess that's what you call repression. LOL

So conclusion? Unfortunately, there's no way to really know but to jump in the deep end...so you just gotta cross your fingers, open your eyes and Be Brave!

Convoluted Paths, Film and Music...

I learnt in my notetaking class about the curious art form of Path Tracing. It's pretty cool really: to gauge human interaction with a public space, people's movements in that space are documented and recorded visually- this has become some kind of ubercool underground art form...

Since I had a luxurious day off yesterday today brought scope for "playtime"- and it was only the second time I've found myself having to come back reasonably late night unescorted in the city and we all know what happened the first time :P

So anyway I deliberately went back the long-winded way to avoid the beer goggled and dangerous yobbo stretch...no such luck :P just 200 m shy of home there was some crazy blocking the bridge who was curled up screaming violent nonsense like he required an exorcism...so I had to turn back to where I came and walk yet another convoluted path home...

I was half thinking- "wow what pretty arty squiggles my path home would have made"LOL. Of course my rational practical side was thinking "sheesh, SO INEFFICIENT- this convoluted path walking is really starting to get on my nerves!"

So anyway, I caught a film The Visitor - I have to admit I didn't read the entire blurb when choosing - I got suckered in by the headline "in a world of 6 billion people it only takes one to change your life" as well as the fact it was set in NYC...

Unfortunately, unlike Juno I have no glowing review for The Visitor...I found the movie was overly sentimental, overly constructed/stylized? and highly oppressive/quite heavy- I guess that is the mood the director was trying to achieve though...if you have seen this film and have an opinion, I'd like to know!

In any case, I did take one inspiration from the film...

I think I want to take up African Drumming(Djembe)!!!

pic: wikipedia

Playing drums has always been a childhood wish (along with trombone, sax and double bass- LOl what's the deal with small person and big instruments?!)

I like rhythm so much, I remember as a child playing pots and pans and even stringing up an icecream bucket to be 'the little drummerboy'...this love for rhythm and noise even extended to me 'tapdancing' on the kitchen tiles.

Anyhow no drumkit or drum lessons ever eventuated because of my mum's preconceived ideas about what constitutes a gender appropriate instrument...or maybe she was just being sensible it what she would be able to stand the sound of!!

In any case, since I'm on the topic of music, just yesterday I was listening to Nigel Kennedy's Four Seasons and thinking what an utterly sublime piece of classical music it is, and that if I could play the violin I'd want to be able to play just like him!

Similarly, if I could play Cello, I'd want to be able to play like Yo Yo Ma. And piano, I have no favourite artist as long as I had the ability to play great composers like Ravel, Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Mozart, Debussy etc...

The great thing about African Drumming is unlike the others which you need to learn as a child just to be able to make nice noises, I think hand drums are relatively easy to learn as long as you have a decent sense of rhythm! I wonder how much they cost??...I think this will have to wait till after the DSLR...and I definitely need to take a vow of abstinence with the CDs! :-p

Hilarious!

okay so when I first got this email I found it absolutely hilarious! I wasn't going to publish it on my blog...but S encouraged me to ;)

This is just great testament to show how people have REALLY different levels of sensitivities and how some people like to take out their bad days on others...

(Names have been changed to protect privacy and to prevent me from being sued for defamation LOL)

> -----Original Message-----
> From: mscherrylane [mailto:mscherrylane@nice.com.au]
> Sent: Monday, 1 September 2008 6:53 PM
> To: info@ozbountifulwholefoods.com.au
> Subject: PLEASE UNSUBSCRIBE ME FROM YOUR MAILING LIST!
> Importance: High
>
> PLEASE UNSUBSCRIBE ME FROM YOUR MAILING LIST!
>
> THANKS!
>
> MSCHERRYLANE

> -----Original Message-----
> From: OzBountiful Wholefoods [mailto:info@ozbountifulwholefoods.com.au]
> Sent: Wednesday, 3 September 2008 8:52 PM
> To: 'mscherrylane'
> Subject: RE: PLEASE UNSUBSCRIBE ME FROM YOUR MAILING LIST!
>
> Mscherrylane,

> I'm so pleased that my response to your email below got you to yell at
> me in your e-mail to unsubscribe you from our list. Whatever happened
> to common courtesy to say "Thank you for the information on your
> deliveries but theyu don't fit my requirements so please unsubscribe
> me." More and more we are finding that customers are getting to be very rude in their dealings.
>
> Please do not ever return to our website, we will not deal with you again.
>
> Kind regards and have a great day!
>
> Dick
> OzBountiful Wholefoods

Analysis
Being a nice person, I went past the thought "man, this guy is totally touchy, unprofessional and rude and I can understand why business is ailing" and wrote back "Sorry had capslock on. Didn't realise it was that offensive. Cheers."

Because my laptop often locks up on capslock and cos alot of people write in capitals I didn't see anything wrong with my capslock message, and as S points out I wrote PLEASE and THANK YOU so how on earth could that be seen as "rude"?!!

I guess maybe we're not so with it- that in netiquette, capslock is interpreted by generic people as yelling...in any case the unsubscribe link in their original email was not working and I had to send an unsubscribe request 3 times for it to actually be done, so even if it was unintentional, they totally deserved to be yelled at into action! LOL

In any case latest life update- I'm feeling old and very responsible adult. In the past 12 hours been a little stressed and worried - was made aware of some of the heavier sides of life which you are blissfully sheltered from by your parents as a kid.

Still feeling rather disillusioned with the state of society (especially cityfolk)- people are so selfish, inconsiderate, such...takers - there are so few obviously decent people in the city which makes the decent people shine out even more like a twinkly star, and hence I am very grateful and appreciative for this minority. I am also starting to notice that good natured, fair and just people are few and far between...at least a compelling reminder for why I will always love Me! ;)

Reminder: Don't Forget to SMILE!

LOL I guess after several months now in city degradation, it had started getting to me so that I was becoming just like every other city slicker...

to the extent that a random stranger actually came past and whispered a curt command: "SMILE!"

but I really did feel sick and like crap yesterday, plus, I'm really bad at obeying commands...but I made a mental note for future-ie so today I remembered to =) even though smiling wasn't exactly warranted - all day in assessments!

I guess I don't smile much randomly cos it's not normal in the city to see people smiling so if you do smile, people are more likely to stare at you and think you're crazy! Hence I'd rather not draw unwanted attention to myself...also, I think I'm more the kind of person who smiles with my eyes and generally with purpose(when there is someone to direct it at).

Cos my eyes are so sensitive to pollution however, or perhaps it's the Scorpio woman stereotype -I wear dark glasses everywhere I go, even at night, so people rarely witness me smile....giggle yes, but not smile...hehe maybe it's my subconscious remembering I probably have food stuck in my teeth since I'm constantly snacking LOL

Cool New Words.

To celebrate arriving in time to see the light of day at home, I present not ONE but THREE cool new words!

palimpsest (thanks Zoch!)

Podunk (thanks S!)

Hibernophile (this is my contribution: cos I am one LOL...Hellooooo Ireland!!!)

Okay come clean word geeks, who already knew these?!

If you are a Word Lover like me, please take the time to have fun and do some good at one of my all-time favourite sites Free Rice!

POP QUIZ! What is the term for people who LOVE WORDS?! (cos I'd like to know and have forgotten...)

EDIT: i remember now- a lover of words specifically is a LOGOPHILE! here is a real treat of a site for fellow logophiles...enjoy!

some of my personal favs:

apodysophilia feverish desire to undress (in stinking hot summers yeah!)
philalethist lover of truth (bluntness is so refreshing!)
philomath lover of learning (c'est moi)
philonoist one who seeks knowledge (y yo)
thalassophilous living in or fond of the sea (me too!)
topophilia great love or affection for a particular place (anywhere EX-city!)
clinophilia passion for beds (LOVE my Space bed :-)... just wish I got more time to spend in it!)
electrophile substance having an affinity for electrons or negative charge (me!)
turophile cheese lover (my sister, my ex and Wallace and Gromit)
xenophilia love of foreigners (me!!!)
gynotikolobomassophile one who nibbles on women’s earlobes (haven't met anybody like this yet lol)

Cheers to my Blogger Mates :-)

So the other day, Caroline kindly gave me *Blogger love* pictured above. I'm not very good at following rules however but when my other favourite person from that part of the world sent me this vintage postcard originally reading Smart women crave good company, I decided to pass it along with a slight alteration...

(yeah I know the editing is atrocious - no need to display- just bask in the momentary glory of the compliment! LOL)

I feel very privileged to have met such like-minded souls who share my interests :-)

Cheers to the Best Company in Cyberspace! xox

Healingstones

Shannaningans

Koala Brains

Caroline