I love you too.

Today's worldly revelation:

There are inherent dangers associated with luxuriating in the Great Outdoors...

With the aid of Murphy's Law, of course.

Felt this big huge whack on my shoulder arm and back and possibly a brush across my head...what the...

was shocked to discover that two very large palm tree fronds had catapaulted themselves to accost me from a neighbouring tree some metres away and 20m UP!

I guess there's a first for everything, lol...past the shock it was actually quite funny ad I couldn't help but erupt into *giggles*.

Ah the vagaries of being Girl...

The Search...

okay I managed to keep it almost to myself for only a few hours, lol...I suck at keeping my own secrets people like HO will be happy to know...

So I woke up having put my finger on it...

Recently I had a really strong compulsion like an amplification perhaps of my long held inner most desire to just up and go...you guys know I hate living in the city in particular this one...

So anyway apart from the clean air and space etc I realised socially I guess what I'm wanting to find in a new environment is what is hard to find in big cities perhaps a sense of "community" and a bit of a back to some old fashioned "values"! I know this could be found in church but I guess that is almost too much of a monoculture for me to be comfortable with...I guess having always been drawn to diversity, voluntary engagement with just one culture is not balanced or healthy-normal for me, or that is my perception and belief anyway...

oh P.S Dream interpreting extraoirdinaires...what does this mean? I dreamt of a very cute border collie puppy and was patting it and then another with a motherly instinct kept nipping at me.

It's like some kind of conspiracy theory...

Why is it when there is a whole heap of space people seem to always need to cramp your style? eg, to me it doesn't quite seem logical that people should cluster when there are so many empty seats....what is UP with that? I think I have concluded and observed that people definitely are a communal species...in any case it's kinda irksome especially if you travel very long distances to escape the city just to revel in that sheer empty space and low population density, to not be able to enjoy the space and peace and quiet...

Other random things...found the movie Lorenzo's Oil a very inspiring true story- stick that in your face limits of conventional medicine! A definite must see for all complementary therapists and advocates of complementary therapies...

Kimchee has the most funkiest smell...ick I never actually tried travelling with it before today....Yikes!!! I think it is like durian it smells positively horrible but tastes GOOD.

Anyway I'm cheery that it's Christmas tomorrow...but actually I think I'll be happier when it's the New Year!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

p.s I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself that I am still stuck in this city during the holidays...

Okay so I'm far from being in the mood to motormouth lately...

So I'll just have to keep it short. Tell you the one most exciting tidbit(true of course) that will happen...

My friend insists on taking me to a nunnery! I am not joking...we will go look-see next week...for what purpose I am not sure exactly but this will be my first kind of visit and I'm sure it will be interesting!

LOL the things I get up to...Curious Cat ;)

Almost threw in the towel

HO you will be alarmed to hear I almost completely threw in the towel for something that would sound quite ridiculous to the sensible rational logical pragmatic folk...re career. But then I came to my senses and realised although I could even mentally consider foregoing the career without causing severe distress these days, I still would like it...cos it's a handy tool and backup to have...how else can I manage to have a natural LIFESTYLE to suit my needs?

I'm still itching to get out of the city :P

Too much been happening lately my idle brain feels somewhat overwhelmed...this Hermit needs more cave time...and a really good natural retreat!

Where in the world did Z disappear to?

Oh I'm still here alright, just I've gotten anti EMFs and without the burden of studies there is no real reason why I need to be bonding with the computer. Okay that's just part of the reason...the other reason is I'm all socialised out in real life...I think I must just be a people magnet or something (HAHA). So yeah I'm kinda too tired to come online of late, all I like doing of late is watching documentaries, world movies, arthouse movies, and reading in bed especially since I got my nifty little MIGHTY BRIGHT reading light.

Saw a great Hitchcock last night Dial M for Murder...man these old movies are good. ALL CLASS...cos they can't rely on special effects & similar crap- they actually NEED to have compelling plotlines! There is a reason why some things stand the test of time :)

But then again, I'm a Graaaandmaaaaa...partial to the old fogey stuff ;)

A life out of the ordinary...

I didn't ask for one. But this is what happened...

I don't recall ever having felt in the driver's seat when it comes to my life...

Lately I found myself pondering...in my consciousness...had I been able to lead a conventional life, would I want it?

Surprisingly...Probably not!

People have always tried to push me into a box to fit the straight path of a conventional life and even if my imagination engineers the nicest conditions, for some strange reason it has never ever really seemed to appeal...is the verdict from my conscious mind...so maybe my subconscious has actually always been helping me land far far out of the box!!

It's been a BIG week...weekend a little busy, hope you're having a good one!

xZ

Oz beats Germany hands down...

Interesting article from an ex German. Mind you she lives on the West Coast...really quite different to here...but as a country comparison it still holds true.

My Mum Talks to Aliens

Watch this before it expires - it's absolutely fascinating!

I hate how Skeptics are sooo friggin ARROGANT that they think the pipsqueak human mind can fathom and master everything there is to friggin know in the world...certain things can't be proven by the scientific process and in the same way I challenge the skeptics to be open-minded enough to accept that there are possibilities that are valid by mere fact that they haven't managed to DISPROVE them either!

Some people's minds are just so closed and inflexible...so uncool. I remember when I saw an ad for a training course to "feel Qi in 6 weeks", lol that just blew my mind...I never realised that not everybody can feel qi...just cos some of us are insensitive and ignorant and unaware doesn't mean that certain things don't exist! Prove it, I say.

Overheard: Sydney...from a Brit's Perspective

JJ this post is dedicated to you-how timely, on your birthday!!!...lol so smooth...yikes, people might start suspecting me of being a Sagittarian, lol...

So, I was sitting on the bus tonight...when this COMPLETELY drunkard man plops himself next to me almost rolling over- has absolutely no sense of polite own bubble space, turns on this annoying noisy little radio which you're not sure if holding to his ear he is talking to it or listening to it, goes and harrasses old people on a nearby seat, starts ranting something about the war and Germans, stinks of something like red wine and drinks something out of a stained takeaway coffee cup which judging by the heavy reek was probably red wine.

So anyway an amused Brit sitting on an adjacent seat to me is chatting to his friend (back home) on his mobile phone...I overheard him saying something along the lines of:

"So you know Sydney is so famous for all its beaches and all that...well you know what else there are SHATLOADS OF TWATHEADS as well! "(He said something like that...not sure if I caught the expressions right, if they are the expressions I'm very amused :)...the gist I got if I were to translate it into Australian...that Sydney also has shitloads of serious loonies and wacked out people all over the place."

Anyway he was listening to the drunkard and laughing and I was listening to him and laughing while trying to avoid the drunkard sitting on me and falling all over me. If I was in a less tolerant mood and had a big old handbag I would have just wacked the drunkard over the head, (or was at least tempted in my imagination...)

Anyway I am sooooo tired....totally socially drained and exhausted and need bed desperately so will leave this very clumsy inarticulate post here...I just thought it was funny.

Revelation: I am not a social retard.

I had forgotten that I can actually be highly sociable-it's more about do I find people interesting enough that will compel me to talk and interact? Toyboy lured me to a party promising Germans!!! It was SO HARD to drag myself out of the house believe me I was feeling so sick, tired and anti-social...but I'm glad I went...(for the pie and cake, haha) It was actually fun...cos there was familiarity with people and place...hence I was comfortable and the crowd was all..."real" (genuine, non pretentious) people which I can handle and the bonus was I met two interesting people. As the wise chick I met told me...the difficult part is getting yourself to go out but most of the time you end up having fun....I even surprised myself on this front!

In any case toyboy got my hopes up and lured me under false pretences... a Belgian and a Brit...whadda disappointment, lol...oh well at least Europeans...that play chess! haha...

So yeah revelation: Zhen is not such a social retard after all :) Was pretty impressive and impressed myself too...wow!!! And tomorrow...it happens all over again...well, leaving the house for social reasons...it's just this weekend...something strange in the air perhaps...

p.s Venus Aqua pattern continues...yup another one!!! It's like INSTANT CLICK and probability defying...

The Sound of Suffering...

It's like just a silent reel with slides of faces of anguish and screaming...more powerful than if it came with audio.

I hate hospitals. As a HSP it's just way too much sensory overload...I think to survive working in one day in day out one has to either be completely insensitive, uncompassionate and unfeeling (NOT a water sign) or completely deaden their senses...

The compelling urge is there to just shut your eyes and cover your ears...but then those niggling intuitive antennae pick up lots too- not sure how to close that off!

Best is...avoid them whenever possible!

*sigh*

BBBB

Busy Bustling Buzzing Bee...so tired.

When I get seriously tired...exhausted...first thing to go that is most obvious is the piggy enthusiasm for all things foodie and accompanying appetite. Not sure why...I guess just there is no energy left to fuel the digestive processes...

prior to that when exhaustion is still at "manageably tired", probably the first thing to go is the vision and mental facilities...no extra capacity for prolific writings...no desire to even turn on the computer.

So...that's that...until next time My Blogger Peeps!

Can Ducks Smell?

So anyway lately I have been visiting my old town....whadda...SANCTUARY!

I'm tempted to just pack in all ambitions and go back there and get a job as a check out chick just for the peace and quiet space and ease of breathing and constant...stress free JOY.

Everybody needs a Sanctuary. I have one or a few in the city and one or a few out of the city, but not sure if that is enough, if I had my way the only place I would exist would always be a sanctuary.

In any case in my one of the ones out of the city...I get visited by this very specific husband and wife duck couple...



they are so good to drop by and say "Hi!"when I'm in town no matter what time or place that I wondered "Can Ducks Smell?" As in, are they able to discern my unique smell and know it's me in town and hence come to visit?

My friend tells me "Sure they can smell they have nostrils on their bill!" Whaddaya know! I have some Good Duck Friends!!-wow, that just makes my day! LOL

In other daily trivia I just had to post a pic of this fantastic card

sent to me by my blogger friend HO....Gosh I love this card...especially the little cupcake in the lollypop if you look carefully. I showed my mum and she sighed with exasperation and just said "just like a little kid!" LOL, HO you are included...she thinks you are a child too...except I defended you that you have 3 rugrats, lol.

In any case I also thought the sticker was a good call...

p.s if you were interested, I don't eat duck...every duck is my friend...I LOVE DUCKS!!!

Scorpio with Venus in Libra Girl...

Oh the trials and tribulations...

I'm finding my astrology (okay maybe I am unfairly blaming rather than accepting personal responsibility, lol) significantly challenging...I guess if you add an INTJ to anything - well, at a 1%of the population prevalence perhaps we are a MINORITY for a reason! :P

In any case not sure if it is just the time of the year or the time of the month or whatever but I'm finding that most people...GRATE! arghhhhhhhhhh.

Except Venus in Aquarians...they never ever grate...where can I find more of these elusive species? I'm not kidding it is rare I get along well with people and voila the last 4 people I met in the last 2 years that I found incredibly no hair pulling effort EASY to get along with turned out to have their Venus in Aquarius!!!

Not sure why but it's a very compelling pattern I find in my life...

Healthwise...things seem to be on the up and up...so that is fantastic...maybe soon I can start making progress again...FORWARD progress! How do I know? Well I have been very hungry, eating lots, have energy to cook, make some trips...enough wellness to get RESTLESS and bored again...pondering what is next for the Zhen?

One Conflicting Cat

My Dog calls me a Conflicting Cat. I'm not sure why some people (like me) have to be this way.

We want A but also B so we end up compromising on A-B and getting neither A nor B.

Also on Monday we want A but on Tuesday we want B actually on Monday morning we may want A and by Monday noon we decide we actually want B...this results in a lot of confusion for those around us. I guess it is not unlike dealing with a certifiable Nutcase. So thank God there are a few special people in the world that can deal with these ongoing discrepancies and are patient and tolerant- me for one would probably just fling myself onto the ground into a heap of surrender and say "I give up already- you are SO DIFFICULT-you cause me too much stress-I give up there are easier fish to fry!" LOL maybe that is what made my mother stop trying to dye her hair and let it all go white...

Ohhh noooo it's no good to be a Granny!

I can't believe I have been waiting aaaages for my favourite band of the contemporary era to FRIGGIN COME DOWN UNDER again and I missed out on tickets...*sigh* feel FLAT now.

Not sure why I hesitated...I guess I forgot that in the years since I saw them they've become big name superstars so Old Granny wasn't fast enough in her little golf buggy!

Boo Hoo. I guess though that means more $ for other artists gigs...but I do feel that Down Under is often a wasteland in terms of being able to have access to good music just cos the distance is so so far for Northern hemisphere musos to have to come...

I'm tempted to go interstate to catch them...but hmph, already had to forfeit several planned trips this year cos of health....so probably not...can't get tickets so far in advance! It's each day as it comes these days...not like before I used to plan the day, the week, the month, the year in advance...I was always completely scheduled at least a month in advance...now it's really...spontaneous...things on a whim. There are benefits to this I guess...I am far more relaxed and well rested for one...

I'm in a trivial mood lately...

so I answer some poor INTJ admirer's question which made them surf into my blog probably to much disappointment, lol

Their question was:

"What do INTJs look for physically in a mate?"

No offence, but that is one of the most idiotic seeming questions this INTJ has ever heard...DUH...it's all about the MIND. THE MIND. If an INTJ can connect with your MIND or rather you can connect with and even more impressive...tolerate theirs then you're in with a shot as long as your mug is half way acceptable...the body can always be worked on, hehe

Other than that two random things that irk this week:
>Non natural fibre clothing and bedding
>Oil droplets hanging around in living room areas from cooking without extraction fans...

No offence but...

just about everyone particularly under the age of 40 bar INTJs strike me as kinda...seriously...NUTS!!!

Just a random thought...the funniest part is that my INTJ friend happened to come to the very same conclusion re that most people seem INSANE on the very same day!

See, you think we're weird, us INTJs...the green aliens are looking right back at ya...haha

Had a really good day yesterday(probably cos it was a day free of above forementioned crazies!)

Actually it was such a good day I think I will do the same every year...but I'm not blogging the details lol...too many people would be laughing their pants off at me :P

Anyway thanks for your wishes :)

I Love to Pray...

The first few minutes of my birth day (the wee hours) were interrupted by a cacophony of electronic flutterings and the third call for that night from a dear friend drunk as hell suffering trauma from an event earlier that evening.

Since we are very close, I felt myself deeply troubled by association. And I woke mid wee hours of the morning still troubled...so I turned to God and I prayed for this friend. And God, in all his faithfulness (like always these days cos the line's no longer fuzzy) answered...offering me a message which I passed on to this friend, a too early in the morning lengthy, deep text catering counsel to his particular troubles, which I think he is getting to used to by now, lol!

Before in matters of concern I used to turn to the menagerie of my friends and take a broadly diverse "survey" of counsel but now this process has become redundant cos I have far more effective means of resolving issues or getting comfort^^...

So anyway, the revelation I have on my birthday...I Love to Pray and I Love God's faithfulness in how he answers. I feel truly blessed to have this connection :)

HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE.

LOL as far as Self Help Books go this is probably at the top of the list- funny I know so many people who have read this but I for one had never been interested enough to even open it if it was in front of my nose...I guess I was always so confident that I didn't& don't need it! LOL hey, give me some credit for being honest - sure I might be waaaay narcissistic but aren't you at least IMPRESSED that I dare to say what all other people in this society can think but keep to themselves out of "propriety". I prefer complete honesty any day WARTS & ALL, lol so I give it as good as I expect...

So anyway my mate who is a real charmer that gets along with everybody and anybody decided to give this book to me...LOL I wonder why? If he was a worser friend I definitely would almost have been offended! So maybe he thinks I need it but the truth of the matter is, as an INTJ, I really don't care enough..I really reflected on it and it is a choice: I know for a fact that if I really think someone is worth being friends with or influencing ie: I see a purpose... I can so do it! But will read obediently and post if there are any lighthouse moments I get worth reporting :P

Apart from that my love of genuine old fogeys continues...they are soooo freaking interesting I think I'm developing a "thing" for talking to random old people...just cos young people are so so damn boring- I've totally given up on associating with them. LOL So yes on Saturday I met Michael and today I met Mary. Hi Hi through the ether from that random asian grandma hidden inside a girl's facade you met by chance^^

It was quite like looking at myself...

I'm talking about the portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network...(minus the total geekiness, nerdiness and intellectualism of course, lol)

Other sources have typed him as an INTJ or INTP, so that makes sense....

In any case I realised that although I am not a misanthropist, I still prefer my own company to the company of 90% of other people anyday. Most of what I need in terms of people interaction is discussion of ideas...if I get that mind candy fix discussing ideas etc which the net is great for, I am pretty content... I don't really get the non purposeful human interaction side of things...

Not sure why not wanting to socialize with other people so much always makes me feel so guilty. I guess cos we get socialised from young that it is unacceptable to be anti-social and a hermit and to actually choose this lifestyle over a social one is kind of like wow "you must be an alien" kind of social taboo/CRIME...actually if you don't keep it to yourself really you do get lectured and told off like you are some kind of CRIMINAL as well...

I guess though, at the end of the day it's a type thing...and inherent...I don't think things like this can change...

It was a pleasurable(bar the crowds-I really need to relocate to a smaller city as soon as is feasible :P) weekend though... lots of EATING, SUN, WATER and AIR. For all the "difficultness" INTJs are famed for, you can see how this particular one balances out by being able to take pleasure in the most simple things in life :)

"A Dog's Breakfast!" by Australia Post

I popped something in the mail for my dear blogger friend, HO.

It arrived like THIS

MINUS its physical contents! :-P

A certain Zhen was not impressed...*VERY AMUSED* however...LOL!!!

This is why Democratic Processes don't always work, lol

Especially for something as subjective as names, lol.

So anyway sorry to the curious for a delay in posting but I'm still recuperating from the overzealous high energy dynamite laden overly large gathering Sunday night....sheesh I only got home after 2am!

So following on from the Great Name Debacle which I put to a democratic vote with 10 selected friends & my mum (LOL)...this was what happened. 6/10 made the deadline...however it was an even three way split with 2 votes for each name. I got a 7th vote at the function but that one was a donkey one as she wasn't willing to choose from the three valid options...saying why can't I just use Zhen and train people to say it with the correct pronounciation? Due to timezone confusion I got an 8th vote after the deadline, and due to slackness with text I got a 9th way after the deadline and then two voters had a no show and didn't reply for various speculative reasons...lost their phone, no credit, absorbed in their own issues/having a crisis or bimboey not noting the deadline and will post me their answer in a letter, blah blah blah.

So yep, I think that was a good replication of the democratic process...if I accepted the votes that came after the official deadline perhaps there is a winner by a whisker...but at the end of the day I decided to be a fence sitter and keep my name but if it is too difficult I can just be "Z" and that is short for all the names in contention- haha so it really is a case of "call me what you like"! LOL, alas the exciting microcosmic "democratic process" was not so exciting after all...*sigh

In any case I guess the overly exciting :P night probably made up for it! Grandma was...is TIRED! STILL.

Oh and for any Aussies reading this, HAPPY MELBOURNE CUP DAY- MAY YOUR HORSIES FLY LIKE A CONCORDE! (as long as they don't beat mine, haha!)

Wife wants a Farmer!

Heard through the grapevine that one of my old school mates is currently going through the selection processes for “The Farmer Wants a Wife”…

my gf was like “if there was an organic one I’d SO NOMINATE YOU!” HA HA!

Actually though, although it has become a running joke in my highly white collar professional circle, many years ago prior to the existence of this show in Oz I had already started to say “I want to go live in the country!” so then everybody’s solution (led by my mother) was “Go marry a (rich) farmer!!” but they didn’t realise I seriously wouldn’t mind, it’s just that farmers do not exist in the city! Duh.

I remember a few years ago now that an older "rational" colleague of mine was counselling me “You CAN'T marry a farmer- you need someone really intellectually stimulating and SMART!” To which I argued, who says a farmer isn’t smart…I guess they meant the farmer needs a university degree (or two) and a PhD at minimum to be suitable partner material :P

In any case in all these years I have chanced to meet a total of three farmers…ever. I recall and summarise for amusement as below:

The first one I met randomly while waiting for an airport bus and we got a lot of time to talk cos our plane was seriously delayed…possibly when I was in my Irish-phile leprechaun admiration phase(the accent is so cute-I’ve since graduated to the Germans…lol)

Anyway his name was Padraig…a mechanic but also a sheep/cow farmer, an aquarius who actually had an interest in arthouse movies and pretty good taste in music(which I remember being surprised and impressed by)…he also was a celiac so I remember both of us starving waiting for our delayed flights…he, cos he couldn’t eat anything there and me, cos there was absolutely nothing remotely appetizing to this fussy foodster! In any case by the time our plane got in it was so late when I saw my dad-didn’t want the usual suspicious interrogations re who is this boy?- I just wanted to go home and shower so I was too rude/lazy to bother keeping in touch.

Next farmer I met in the course of my business - an ORGANIC HERB farmer!!!! But alas he was married with a bun on the way. End of story. Well...not quite I chanced to bump into him some time later and ended up concluding " MAN this guy is friggin annoying!"

Last farmer I met was more like a creepy flower harvester who saw me at a distance randomly and then made a beeline-alas alack, I had such a bad case of wind-exposure induced torticollis I was curled up on a couch and couldn’t move to get away…this farmer could have doubled for a modern day pirate/convict…lol, in all my bluntness I even told him he looked like a convict to which he agreed he was proud of his heritage, haha! In any case he had dirty nails and rough hands…

FAIL, FAIL, FAIL. Hence, still no farmer, lol.

That summarises all the farmers I have ever met….so I’m not holding my breath, lol! And despite the enthusiasm of the jokesters around me, I’m not going on any damn TV shows- only extroverted people the direct antithesis of me would be that CRAZY! If the goal is to live in the country, marrying a farmer is not the only solution geez! :P And I still reserve the right to keep my "Country Bumpkin" title M!

In any case, maybe a nice intellectual introverted farmer will one day surf into this post…*kismet*! HAHA, hopefully I won’t be some crazy stinking old lady buried under her menagerie of animals by the time that happens-hehe ;) Or maybe my plans will get foiled and I will succumb to the dark side -some city slicker who is just irresistably charming…HAHA…Again, not holding my breath, LOL!!! I think as long as I can keep a nice plot of green and grow my organic veggies, I think I will be JUST FINE.

If my peeps want some B-grade American movie Farmer Fairy tale they can just turn on the damn TV!

Zhen HAS SPOKEN.

Name this Girl!

...PLEASE!

*LOL, so the impetus to get an English friendly name by tonight (for a laaarge gathering/conference thing) set upon me with a frenzy when I woke up this morning so I sent out the call to 10 of my closest friends that I could get in touch with by txt...sorry that doesn't include my dear blogger peeps cos the one eligible criteria to earn a vote is that you have to have met me in person to see if I "look and behave" like that name! And plus, HO when I tell you the choices (later) I am sure you would have had a vested interest to colour your vote- haha!

So anyway I've chosen three alternatives meaningful to me that I could live with and hopefully there will be a clear cut winner...if they would just all WAKE UP and reply already! LOL

I realised...wow, I must come across seriously eccentric, I mean who else sends out text messages to their friends to vote on the name they will seriously use for life in such a rush of a time frame! LOL

What is the moral of this story? Do not ever give your children hard to pronounce overly foreign names that do not transfer well to other cultures and other countries!

Update...8:58am: ooh the first vote just came in...I wonder if it is prophetic!!! HOW FUN is a voting process! And the second and the third...haha I love this-it is SOOOO DEMOCRATIC!!! ;)

9:04am okay i need to haul ass for now- I will report the results(maybe) and definitely the tally tomorrow ;) wow it's gonna be hard to get used to being called something new....but a lot less confusing for all concerned I think-at least if my different friends ever meet at least they can be sure they are ALL talking about the same mischievous scoundrel...HAHA!!

Four more days...and a Black Hole.

So I'm excitedly anticipating...*freedom* in four days from yet another highly restrictive diet...this week it was like "do you want to come out for dinner?" "No, I can't eat out". "Can I buy you ice cream?" "No, I can't eat it". Sheesh, say that too many times and it's gotta be mildly depressing!

Whatever the case, it's been so restrictive, it's got me chained to home (since I need to eat every few hours)...and it prevented me from doing a nice rural escape :P

But anyway I was cheered slightly to be relieved of the Black Hole I feel at being so isolated from the world, especially with 90% of my friends overseas. And I was ESPECIALLY relieved to catch up with my long lost B'day Twin who has also been also cut off from the world with no access to internet. I was pretty shitty this week that nobody seems to understand me, so yes it was a good thing I finally got to talk to her!!! And laugh my head off HAHA...strangely, we seem to live parallel lives...if one of us is having some drama or trauma about something, the other also will be, just the circumstances will be interestingly different!

Apart from that if you have an eagle eye maybe you noticed I edited my name...lol ZOE means "soul is in union with God". I think it's about time I got a Christian name and although it's cute it's definitely not as kid cutesy as the one many people currently know me by! :P

I like to add this Zoe to my Zhen cos then for short it becomes "Zee"(yes I'll be American for this purpose) or Zz...and HEY who is better at spending all their time sleeping than moi?? Hehe.

Bridging the Gap.

Probably the first God-Given connection I recall being given was back in 1999-at that point at best I was an agnostic interested in all religions from an intellectual and cultural curiosity point of view, just wanting to know as much as possible and engaging in all sorts of explorations accordingly.

To me, God was like some mystical higher power that may or may not exist(but was nice if it did)...and he or she manifested as all different deities depending on country and culture. Ultimately it was all about a wisdom and a doing of good- that was all that mattered.

Today I got back in touch with that 1999 connection and told her how I finally have the 100% convicted faith. She was so excited...it's been a loooooong road!! In any case, now that I crossed to the other bank, I realise what a huge journey and what a huge challenge it is for people to bridge that gap. No wonder we believers spend so much time praying, lol...and why non-believers often think we're totally off our nut...once you have faith, it really is a whole separate form of existence!

Anyway, I LIKE it :)

The God Force

When you find yourself operating in completely strange and unfathomable logic, reason, character and habit defying ways...subject to mysterious, timely, intriguing "coincidences" and "messages" and experiencing a Deep peace, love and joy despite circumstances seeming 'unfavourable'...well this is what I call The "God Force" at work. It's really a very Amazing experience. I hope you all get to experience this! ^^

The Little Prince

Mata Hari, you understood me best when you said I am the Little Prince.

On my lone asteroid, my heart-filled happiness springs from one red flower and a pet sheep of my own creation...occasional light hearted chuckles inspired by quirky offbeat things like funny looking lantern bearers.

There are few other visitors or inhabitants, the nearest many lights years of constellation away.

I find myself The Little Prince, always at a distance from the real world. The decrepitude of modern society insults my incredibly child-like idealism where I want to know a world full of rainbows and sunshine, pots of gold and angels with fluffy white wings and unattainable perfection. Instead I find myself looking around desperately for some noise-insulating earmuffs to accessorise the dark shades that often happily shelter my eyes. I guess it is like how some adults choose not to watch the news or read the papers. Perhaps it was borne of watching a minimum three news bulletins a day from as young as I can remember.

No wonder I spend so much time immersed in music, with nature, and feel this urgent spiritual hunger. And no wonder I must be the Hermit and limit my interactions with others since this is that which guaranteed, constantly loves to uproot my sense of peace.

Are churchgoers more wholesome?

Probably not, but even as a Façade it’d be comforting right now. As an HSP(Highly Sensitive Person) I get traumatized REALLY easily and one thing that can do it in a really extreme way is to give me TMI(Too Much Information) about the seedier side of life.

I am much happier to shelter in an ignorant little bubble of puritan bliss!

My good mate once told me “stick to your own kind”(e.g INTJs) sometimes it really is your best friends that know what’s best for you. So anyway I will toodooloo for a bit cos I think I really need some intense “cleansing” alone time(!)

I think you will understand us best when I describe what my b’day twin does re overly sensitizing information- she covers her ears with her hands! That’s a typical HSP self preservation tactic. I just wish I had employed it a bit earlier today :P …I must be getting old because I think I heard ENOUGH of all those things I don’t want to know about…

Boohoo, yet another night of difficult to come by sleep :(

H.O, I know what you’re going to say: Move to Utah! Let me tell you an entire hemisphere and social and cultural change could well be what I need most right now!!!

This is hilarious

I was just feeling sorry for myself at being stuck here and concluding that the biggest gripe I have with this nation that constantly makes my soul feel like it is shrivelling up is the lack of depth of people here- sure it is easy as hell to find people that look good but once you are trying to find intelligent and interesting and broadly informed people that can provide mental engagement or hold a conversation that is in anyway meaningful or interesting...well it feels like a very very barren place.

So anyway I found that this article seemed to confirm everything I believe- but the saddest part is I completely agree and I'm actually a local! :p

Besides the geography and weather and good produce there is actually very little redeeming about this country- another thing you need to remember is that this country hates Tall Poppies with a vengeance so you better just be average or substandard (unless it is about sport)...hmmm, if I'm gonna be stuck in the South, maybe defecting to New Zealand is not such a bad call. I personally prefer excess sheep population and empty green hills to the defects of here any day...

I am a lot more cultured and pretentious than I give myself credit for ;)

It occurred to me while watching The Squid and The Whale that perhaps I am a lot more cultured than I give myself credit for...lol, namely cos the elitist protagonist and his son's various highbrow cultural references were actually quite known to me...LOL I had even forgotten that I had actually read Kafka's Metamorphosis until they mentioned it was about a bug!

Not only that but some other obscure references mentioned in various sources I chuckled over lately-things which might go over most people's heads as unfamiliar&new- so I actually realised I'm more knowledgeable about various facets of things cultured than I would have thought...I had the privilege of attending a great piano performance and was surprised to be very familiar with 80% of the offerings across composers and pieces...not only that I actually recognised the sound of Steinways! LOL

So yes, in conclusion I guess there is a reason why I like Europeans and have a lot to talk about with them...definitely, if Down Under peeps regard Europeans as snobbish and pretentious just cos they are cultured&intellectual...I think I like to bat for this team! :)

Zodiac Insights By Zhen

So I’ve whirled myself around the zodiac a few revolutions attempting to get to know each sign better and this is a list personal to me – the one thing I most LIKE(+) and DISLIKE(-) about each of the signs…there are only two signs I REALLY couldn’t come up with cos I don’t know enough members of that zodiac to be able to decide on one defining positive attribute, so maybe some other folks can help fill those vacancies in…

ARIES +CHEMISTRY – SELF FIRST ATTITUDE

TAURUS + TRUSTWORTHY –JUDGEMENTAL

GEMINI +INTELLECTUAL CURIOSITY –ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS

CANCER + ?? –OVERSENSITIVE

LEO +GENEROUS GIVERS – NEEDY OF ATTENTION

VIRGO +RELIABLE - WORK OBSESSED

LIBRA + FAIR –FENCE SITTERS

SCORPIO + INTERESTING –UNFORGIVING

SAGGITARIUS +FUN – RECKLESS

CAPRICORN +?? – STATUS OBSESSED

AQUARIUS +TOLERANT/ACCEPTING OF DIFFERENCES –DETACHED

PISCES +UNDERSTANDING LISTENERS -PASSIVE