On Trying your best.

I think I got sidetracked by temporary hedonism and sheer moments of laziness lately. Or rather the thought that most things in life are not a "big deal" once you detach from your Ego so therefore should not inspire concern. This is in stark contrast to the way that I was brought up...which was to take everything seriously and give everything your best shot (okay well also there was some family pride to live up to and to be anything less was equivalent to bringing disgrace to the family by marring the family tradition of par excellence).

Okay so maybe that is some empty concept in itself but in relation to the fact I totally bombed out yesterday in a big way I realise these family ideals are actually something I should try to stick to...cos hey, having freaking awesome grades never hurt anybody in a practical way re: job prospects, people's good opinion of you etc...for sure...sometimes it probably even opens doors that don't open for other people...just like having contacts...which is something much harder for me to do not being the most enthusiastic get out of the house and socialize person around...

I think from time to time failure is a good wake-up call cos otherwise not naturally motivated people like me would never be inspired to live up to their full potential. It kind of reminds me of all the people I know who couldn't get into selective school straight away- they had something to prove, therefore tried much harder and to this day are so much more successful than the ones like me who never felt any incentive to try any harder. As the best in the business once told me...

"There is way too much mediocrity around...don't be part of it!"

"He sounded like a rogue spring onion".

Okay, I know at least one budding literatus visits so here's the "game"....btw, all are invited to "play" if so inclined.

All you have to do is Make up a seven word sentence. What exactly is the point of the game? Well for my sheer entertainment of course!!! ;) It's not easy doing this study grind day in day out for hours on end :p

So get to it....Shannon! Whaddya got? ;)

BTW, if it wasn't obvious enough, my first play is "he sounded like a rogue spring onion"...

I like Weirdo...Unique People! :-)

Today while I was commuting I was absolutely fascinated by a very interesting 'character' who looked like he had dropped straight out of one of my favourite movies, Oliver Twist!!! I know it is rude to stare but it is rare that you see such unusual characters... it made me feel very happy that there are still "original" people around who dare to be very, very different or rather just their unusual selves...personally I couldn't take having eyes from all angles boring into my person.

Not only was this character carrying vintage bags that looked circa at least 100 years ago, but he also had an Artful Dodger style coat and cap...but the most interesting part was that he was actually carrying some knitting complete with knitting needles...I was partially in awe as I saw he had started knitting a maroon version of the complicated blue vest he was already wearing.

There are few people that can pique my curiosity and amuse me without me digging into their brains. I wish I could come across interesting characters every day, it just makes life so much more interesting...the world is just too generic these days...

Although this real life Artful Dodger was pretty cool, if I could meet any character from a book, it'd definitely have to be Holden J. Caulfield the antihero in Catcher in the Rye...the first book that really made an impression on me...

"Cooking" for big lazy cheats!

As the chilly almost Winter winds set in here, I've been devoting a lot of time to keeping my belly happy cos Mr Brain refuses to cooperate if Comrade Tummy is kicking up a fuss!

This weekend I had two small boon discoveries which will no doubt ease some of my slaving over meals this week...MSG and chemical free frozen pork and cabbage dumplings...and frozen hand made empanadas...of course you need to know where to get these things too ;)

Having always grown up with a superwoman mother who cooked every meal meticulously from scratch, it's taken me a while to master the art of cooking "quick"...when I first moved out, cooking meals would range anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours as I followed my mother's meticulous style free of time saving cheats. I'm glad to say due to necessity I've now got the cooking process down to 15-30 minutes Max...

Cos of the chilly cold I was in the mood for some asian soup noodles with particular craving for the taste of fresh coriander...which I have to admit my tastebuds are really maturing into lately.

So this was what I had...

Soup stock with boiling water, some chicken stock from a box, some vegetable stock from a box(first time I've ever been such a cheat!!), some sprigs of coriander roots and leaves torn up, some enoki mushrooms, some torn up shitaake mushrooms, some very finely sliced pork (need to get this from asian butcher - you can get pork or beef), some ripped up baby spinach, some ripped up bak choy...and some Japanese somen noodles. All up cooking time and preparation was close to 15 minutes....not bad, and healthy too! To the soup I added a few drops of sesame oil, you can also add some salt, white pepper and soy to taste if you like but I just wanted a very clear and cleansing soup. The best part is that I'm pretty sure if I had served it to someone like M I could have convinced him I spent an hour in the kitchen slaving over it-hehe ;)

Following Whimsy!

I don't know whether it's having arrived at the most Freedom I have ever had EVER or that I'm trying to compensate for all the overrationalisation that has dominated my life past....but,

these days I can be struck with a totally random thought or 'feeling' seemingly from out of NOWHERE and I won't hesitate to just indulge it...even if it seems a little crazy...

It's kind of exciting really ;)

Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?

So. My Brain got Fried. It started out well enough. I sat at my study desk for almost 2 consecutive hours actually studying(not what I need to study just what I like- for me, that's doing well already!). However, unfortunately, after so many days of slacking off I just didn't have any more stamina past those 2 hours...so I have spent the last THREE hours or so in my usual favourite pursuit...roaming the internet. *sigh* I am SO disappointed in my lack of Conscientiousness and Discipline and know that the more I leave this Mountain to The Last Minute, the more trouble I am asking for...

In any case, I did find something interesting when clearing the past few weeks accumulated mess that adorned my study table...

It was a sheet of paper I had written several years back probably circa mid twenties...with that typical question you get asked in job interviews...Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years time?

Only this version wasn't for impressing in job interview purposes...this was me creative brainstorming-dreaming free reign...LOL...and this was what my list said:

*Shacked up in the Blue Mountains with an artist or writer
*Practising as a TCM healer in the Mineral Springs Region.
*Running a gallery/cafe of local art in the Mineral Springs region.
*L.O.L(Lady of Leisure) married to wealthy financier in NYC...yuck-this idea no longer appeals!
*In the city still with a huge government grant for serious medical research...no longer appeals either!
*On Kangaroo Island running a luxury B&B cottage
*Farming exotic mushrooms and other organic whatnot in some regional town
*Started some strange but unique and profitable cottage industry business
*Married to soulmate with 2 kids and a pet practising TCM part-time in some nice small town.

Geez...talk about idealistic!!!

Oh well only time will reveal what reality holds...I've definitely got the ball rolling in a good way for the main gist of where I want my life to head anyway :)

Why I'll always Call Australia HOME.

When I talk to people from all over the world I always come back to the same conclusion: There is no other place I will ever call Home. And here are some of the main reasons...

People here are incredibly open-minded...we are tolerant of difference and embrace and encourage diversity. We're a pretty warm, easy going, friendly and welcoming bunch and a pretty harmonious melting pot.

We have incredible Freedom here...as well as Peace. And what about our beautiful natural environment, generous space, natural resources, mild weather and clean air. And when struck by adversity such as with the recent bushfires we're a pretty generous and giving bunch always willing to help those less fortunate or doing it a little tough...

And besides, the world over we're pretty popular...have you ever heard anybody overseas say they hate Australians? No, of course not. We're too lovable! ;)

Dina, if I was you, I'm sure I'd wish I was Australian too! You know so much about Australia, and you even like eating Vegemite which is the mark of a True Aussie ;) I'm sure once you got the accent down pat you could be a very good imposter! Too bad we're allies already or else I'm sure you'd make a very effective American spy!!

On Blogging.

So...it's been almost a year here where I've had a public blog where people can contact me and leave me comments. It sure has been interesting. I've found some cool like-minded people, or rather, by some mysterious chance, they found me :) And I've made some awesome virtual friends which has been great always having interesting and inspiring people around the world to exchange ideas with :-)

In any case this past week has been quite interesting...I was contacted by two different websites to contribute some writing! And the week before I was contacted by a travel company if they could advertise on my blog, which I thought was pretty hilarious cos honestly it's not like my blog has any traffic...and not like I really travel!

I guess my blog is mainly an exercise in continual self reflection and self learning (with the occasional much needed ranting ;) as I track my own character how I evolve, develop, refine, accept or refute ideas over time... so I've never really cared whether anybody actually reads it or not. Ultimately it is my personal documentation archive with the plan to look back and chuckle about how I was "back in the days". If I end up having kids I know they would really love to have access to this historical archive before I cark it, but definitely not until they're pretty stable adults...and have learnt from all their own mistakes!

In many ways blogging is the ultimate self indulgence and self-validation apart from being the best psychological exploration of one's self...for me it also provides that much needed therapeutic balance to my often hectic and blinkered life where I continually seem to be in a state of cumulative stress and never-resting busy bee-ness...

I have had some funny requests.

I think the first memorable weird one was a marriage proposition several pages CV style with a large photo of prospective suitor on the front. I think it is since then that my avatar has been the back of the little person you see now haha. The next wacky one I remember was being asked by some funny glasses company to write a promo for their product on my blog(but when I contacted them to send me their product to try so that I could review it, they never wrote back...scammers!) In any case, I also thought that was funny and I think when I wrote back I questioned their business sense, since it would make more sense to ask someone with a blog that actually has traffic LOL! Maybe rather than being scammers they didn't write back cos they realised I had a Point LOL.

The next memorable moment was having one of my New Year pics picked up by an online news agency...it was exciting to be "published", for a minute.

And now these latest invites seem like something I'd find fun...too bad I don't have time! Sheesh if my study career stuff wasn't so 24-7 all consuming, so many things I could do! It is so hard to stay focused and get really good at ONE thing when it is in one's curious nature to know about EVERYTHING and dip one's finger in EVERY pie! Scattered and ineffectual- my constant life challenge - Discipline...but at least there is never a dull moment!

In any case we'll see maybe in the holidays I'll look into doing paid writing gigs... it'll be good to have that experience to build up a portfolio for later when I have established my healing practice and want to take up some health writing on the side (cos being a full time healer is just way too draining on my person).... and it's not like when I move to some regional area that there are many other jobs that would appeal...

So I've enjoyed having a yarn reflecting on my blogging experience to date but Duty Calls!! Later!!

Travelling...

***

Zhen has Escaped!

Into actual...Civilisation. Hasta La Vista, City Slickers! :-D

Playing With Fire...

I was surprised to find out that one of my favourite conversation buddies is a Scorpio...it then occurred to me a strange anomaly: that in my entire life, I have not really known any Scorpio men- I know two but these were friends of friends...

It then dawned on me that many of my male friends especially in recent years have been full blown Fire Signs: Leo, Aries, Saggittarius (not even near the cusps)!...and I think that's where I have been going wrong...

Cos I am WATER!!! Weird...for such an astrology nut, I seem to have never heeded Basic Astrology 101 type wisdom: Fire and Water do not mix.

Maybe the male Fire Excesses have been because opposites attract or that I've always been naturally most drawn to whatever is most different from me. Or maybe youth was a different stage of life where I needed more excitement, dynamism etc...

In any case, in what feels like old age...I'm starting to appreciate my fellow intuitive, receptive, sensitive water signs :) Thank goodness I didn't discover this any later...Fire sign men, especially young soul ones whose world revolves around them and it's all Me Me Me like little babies, can literally drive me insane and want to head for the hills to a nice little hermit cave of permanent solitude. I'm glad that with this realisation I can be somewhat conscious to implement avoidance strategies from the world "go!"(and save myself all the stress and agitation that typically ensues should association protract).

On another note, numerologically speaking I've noticed I get along best with any kind of 11, 9 and 6 life paths, or at least statistically these are where most of my close friends fall into.

Disclaimer: Shan I know you're a Saggi sun but you're a female and such a marginal one being on the cusp with so many bits in Scorp...haha do you notice how much individual attention you get paid in my posts...I guess I am too well able to pre-empt all your protests if I am not very clear and specific from the get go ;)

anyway off for an indulgent Day of Eating!!! :) First with my sis we venture to some pretentious part of town for lunch, then with my cuz and her friends to check out this 5 star restaurant where we know the head Dessert chef! (Killing 2 birds with one stone I also get to do my half yearly meetups with them...amazing how once you get older you only get to catch up with your peeps who even reside in the same city as you maybe twice a year!) Modern Life...So Sad....

Gran Torino...WOW.

So...I was bad. I spent all day that I wasn't in obligatory domestics: cooking, laundry, groceries etc bludging... firstly cos I severely needed the rest and also cos I really wanted to see a movie...Gran Torino to be precise. And wasn't it awesome. And I rarely think movies are THAT good! Who would have thought that a name with a car for a title and a plot about a war veteran would be so good...I really enjoyed the cross cultural component of this film...and the fact that it depicted people at their best and most noble. I guess for me it was a great uplifting-to-the -spirit escape from reality notably temporarily purging my disillusionment with modern society and cityfolk...I actually felt somewhat 'cleansed' of my week from the experience...and I have to admit I even had a tear in my eye- there are few fictional films that can draw me in so much and actually move me...If you haven't seen it GO SEE IT!!!

I don't get why Slumdog Millionaire is getting all the accolades...I saw it long before all the hype and honestly I wasn't particularly impressed. There are far better world movies out there. I guess the Danny Boyle stamp makes a big difference as to how a film gets received...it was "good" but not THAT good! The other thing I've seen which I really liked was the documentary Man on Wire- he truly is one inspired and inspiring eccentric!

Living in the In-Between...

So exhausted- I'm kinda wagging cos I just really needed some consecutive Me Time as not only am I physically tired but I'm sick of sneaking "me time" into all the little in-between moments of spare time. I know I'll feel guilty later but right now my body is firmly plonked in my nice warm comfy bed :)

Very busy couple of nights and days ahead so the vote is in...and I'm sensibly getting rest while I can.

Here is my shameless What about Meeeee?!! rant on my by far most interesting blog...

I'm a Safety Strongbox of Deep Dark Secrets...

other people's that is! Maybe that is why I myself am such an open book because I am so used to everyone else feeling a need to hide everything...

The weird thing is though, despite feeling my belly is full of other people's confidences (for which I feel truly privileged) I no longer feel at all weighted by any of this accumulated knowledge...I think I have begun to interact with the world differently...I think it's a good thing. Maybe I feel like I exist in this safe bubble layer which occupies some place between the tangible world and the non tangible world- a layer that few people know exist let alone can perceive.

Maybe I will be strong enough to function primarily as a therapist with the other modalities just being "bonus accessories"- I have always known my innate gift is in the one on one talking...I always wanted to study psychology at uni but just never went through with it because I didn't think I could handle the reality of hearing too much of other people's crap and dealing with depressive vibes every day...

I suddenly feel coherently old in every pore of my mind body and spirit and strangely, unexcitable. Maybe I feel like a calm lake with ripples from the wind just gliding over my surface and the occasional naughty young boy trying to skim stones over me but there are no heavy boulders being thrown into my depths. (Meanwhile the lofty and disciplined rhythms of Bach's Brandenburg Concertos waft in the background).

In trivial mundane life...it was a slow day being just after the public holiday but I had some good unproductive leisure chats with a whole bunch of people and later I discovered a quaint little European facaded cottage cafe that contained a great little rustic interior...this is probably the first cafe I have found in the entire city that I really like and could spend hours just contentedly sitting in doing my own thing. They also played some electropop I am still deciding whether I like that sounded like a newer New Order which I have since discovered is a Candian indie electropop band called The Junior Boys which sounds a bit like The Postal Service...

Apart from that a grateful smile passed over my lips due to the warmth of my Mexican friends who are like being greeted with a big welcoming fire on a cold winter's day: Quiovole! :-)

Mary and Max etc...

I'm feeling rather "ungracious" to the weather Gods today...cos I'd set aside this day to do a lengthy seaside clifftop walk but it's grey outside and looks like threat of rain...nice walking weather potentially but views not so spectacular...maybe I will still manage to do it once I manage to get off my ass! But I'm thinking maybe it is a sign telling me to stay in and start my piles of untouched schoolwork or else actually do some proper cooking to prepare for the week! *sheepish grin*

Saw "Mary and Max" last night about a true(?) random penpal friendship between a 44 year old New Yorker with Asperger's and an 8 year old girl Mary in Melbourne. Despite giggling from the sheer cuteness of the figurines(especially the animals), it was also pretty cool cos the friend I went with actually has Asperger's! Despite its "cuteness"...don't be fooled that this is a "kid's film" though, otherwise you may get a nasty surprise when your kids start asking you all the questions you've always been dreading...

In all honesty though I much preferred the shorter claymation about the somewhat dysfunctional Harvie Krumpet who has Tourette's Syndrome by the same director.

I just think it's cleverer or maybe because his work was a completely fresh discovery back then. Whatever the case Adam Elliot is such a great Aussie talent!! I looove Claymation...the other one I really like is Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit...strange, I'm not such a fan of cartoon films but I really love claymation...I guess it has just that slight touch of realism that I prefer...

Urgh it's the "Holiday"

I'm feeling a bit of "withdrawal" things are just a bit too "slow" compared to the hectic pace I've gotten used to...

Also, I'm used to a nature retreat over this weekend but not this year - since I'm supposed to go away next week instead, so been feeling a bit "antsy" stuck in the city...

I'm also finding it hard to unwind my brain which is used to speeding at a million miles a minute...although I guess the "time" is good since I've been able to indulge other interests, sleep and hatch more ideas for world domination hehe...just not sure if it is wise to actually try and get the process started to realise them since I'm already so spread thin in non-holiday periods as it is...In short...I think I can't wait to get back to "work"!!!

Who ever knew I would turn into a workaholic?...I guess it's only possible when you've found your passion...

In any case:
Hope you are enjoying your Easter break, don't eat too much chocolate and remember to brush your teeth!!

My Favourite Foreign Peoples...

I realised my overenthusiasm for foreign peoples and cultures has gotten a little shallow- sure I am a sucker for foreign accents etc but that is no valid basis to like people more!!

LOL It kind of struck me when a friend tried a "Come out- you can meet a Canadian!!" ploy on me...then I realised...sheesh am I that shallow?! (Yes, obviously!)

So anyway although I looooove all Foreigners here is my shortlist of my favourite culture people in the world based on the small selection I have met in my lifetime to date (and do take into account that these are all generalisations):

1. Japanese (I think this love was innate in me from birth-an understanding perhaps? who knows...maybe I was Japanese in a past life??!) I just have always gotten along with Japanese people...so many things but somehow I just can't put my finger on "why?" exactly...if I had to choose attributes the first endearing characteristics that come to mind is the fact they are quirky, zany and cute :) And pretty inventive...with all their ingenious creations!

2. Germans The attributes I love about these people are so easy to pinpoint - hands down I would have to say I love their blunt honesty, their genuine sincerity, their DEPTH and their intellectualism. I guess I also kind of like their intensity and seriousness to an extent too :) I also love their commitment to high standards evident from their high quality manufacturing and engineering.

3. Mexicans LOL I guess what I love about Mexicans is that they are the complete antithesis of the Germans...I guess the fact I love both cultures resonates with my own polar complexity! I love how Mexicans are so unrestrained and live their life with abandon-they are passionate, WARM, spirited, cultured and just like their heroine (and my heroine) Frida Kahlo, have that defiant, subversive, rebellious nature. They are also incredibly open-minded and the men I have met seem very articulate and in touch with their feelings(which seems to be rare amongst most cultures! LOL)

4. The Irish - Okay this I have to admit is pretty superficial...I totally LOOOOVE the Southern accent, and I am a big fan of the ones that remind me of real life leprachauns: so cute!! I also love how they are so easy going and so much fun...always good to share a laugh and great entertainment especially because music is such an important part of their culture. I also love the dark hair and blue/green eyes...and how they appreciate the simple things in life and have a great hard-working work ethic.

Energy Protection and the Lessons of Life

Lately I've been sending out a lot of apology texts "sorry Grandma is too exhausted...". It's probably cos of all the "treatments" I've been doing- and perhaps due to the whole "empathic" thing I've been kind of energy sapped.

Hence people around me have been offering me all kinds of suggestions for how to protect myself...and some of my own experiments. I have a list summary here for my own reference.



1. Essential oils: like Sandalwood, Vetiver, Lavender with petitgrain

2. Walnut Bushflower Essence

3. Space clearing spray

4. Schorl(Black Tourmaline) and Turquoise

5. Dr Hauschka Lavender Moor oil(with peat moss)

6. Say a little prayer before and after treatment.

7. Gonging Tibetan singing bowl

8. Epsom and sea salt baths- if you have time!

9. Washing hands and face before and after treatment.

10. Strengthen self by eating nourishing food and getting plenty of sleep.

11. Wearing BLACK and/or avoiding white.



In any case, yesterday I felt the energy sapping was mainly practical- just from exerting too much physical energy not so much taking on other people's issues...so I think I'm making progress :)

In any case I had an interesting week this week...and I've realised that for me this Healing thing doesn't so much feel like conscious volition, as opposed to obligation I was born with(!) but the awareness and ability to embrace the responsibility is really intensifying with maturity. I realised logically I could just "avoid" tending wounded birds...but they just don't stop coming (especially in my personal life!) So I realised I just have to "adjust" how I am...so now rather than give them how much I feel they need, I just give them as much as I am prepared to give with no expectations of anything in return. And I think that's the *magic balance* I needed strongly in my mindset cos I'm happy and comfortable with that :-)

Z scores a BIG BRO! :-D

Several years ago when all the girls were looking at older men as potential boyfriends, I must confess I was trawling through older men but with a very different idea in mind...

I was wanting one as a "Big Bro"!!!

LOL...anyway it's taken what 7 years or so but I finally GOT ONE!!! Woohoooo! yay, another long time wish that came true!

So the fact is I have a real big bro but being much older than me he left a long time ago and is very busy with a high flying career and his own family so I've always desperately missed having a "brother" figure in my life since let's face it even with big sisters, getting along with chicks ain't exactly my forte!

So anyway I was really happy when someone actually approached me and said I am like his little sister and he feels "responsible" to look out for and look after me!! The way he said it, it's almost like he believed we have this kind of specific "karma"or something!

Anyway, pretty cool I think :)

MONKEY BOY: Favourite New Addition to Vocabulary ;)

I remember working in corporate. It seemed that anyone in any position of significance was a male and that they typically had any number of well groomed (but not particularly bright) women around to do their bidding. Heck I don't exactly fit those criteria but even I remember running around town with all manner of obscure requests being a sidekick to an M.D...

Perhaps that is why when I came to know of the term "Monkey Boy"(is this an American only expression?) recently, I instantly fell in love with it! I guess in a typical show of subversion...after my corporate stint I vowed it would be a reverse sexism...Me running a business and having a good looking but competent and intelligent male around to do My bidding! *lol exactly what every busy modern career woman needs ;)

*meh* I only talk...I have way too many libran influences to not be a fair and just employer.

In any case, I really really loved the gaining of an hour due to Daylight Saving...is this a global event today? I have no idea when this happens- they should announce it more or something, if it wasn't for my dear mum ringing me up or in these techy days my laptop and mobile updating themselves I would have absolutely no idea when to turn clocks forward and back! If I was running the whole day/night light show I would so give the world an extra hour every single week- it's exactly what we tired world weary busy bees need just to recharge each week!

And just a question of curiosity...cos being my first free-ish weekend in month and ending up spending at least 12 hours on chores alone this weekend how much time do you spend on domestic household duties each week? I find myself spending an absurd amount of time tied up with chores(at least 12-20 hours a week) and I'm not exactly running anything near a Stepford wife show! Honestly just cooking cleaning laundry groceries...it's like one job in itself! I have nothing but respect for housewives with babies and no help...that is one FULL FULL time job!

The British are Too Polite LOL

My cool fellow 11 life path friend from the farm is one of only two friends who lives near me.

Knowing how exhausted I am and how much I hate cooking but love being cooked for :-) she invited me over and cooked a nice hearty meal...a thoroughly delicious pie...beef mince celery eggplant onions in a tomatoey sauce with a potato/sweet potato mash and some veggies. I brought some MERCURY Tassie cider(good memories! LOL)...Dinner is so much better with company :)

After, I gave her her first ever acupuncture LOL...so hilarious. It made her fart 3 times! (Cos she needed it). Actually I think the "treatment" went really well...cos she did have obvious pathology that needed fixing and she had some pretty distinctive (and predicted) sensations based on the grey diagnosis I came up with.

I find it hilarious that she totally represses necessary normal bodily sensations because she is so aware of offending her housemates. LOL maybe I've been socialised by boys or maybe it's cos I'm a health practitioner...I didn't see what the big deal was...I guess I must be "plain rude"...anyway I hope she found it as 'liberating' as I felt it was for her! LOL

On another note, ToyBoy now calls me exclusively one of a) Grandma or b) Old Lady HAHA I'm starting to find it really funny!

This Girl Hates Shopping.

I'm just not a fan of malls with their noisy crowds, lack of ventilation, blatant hard core consumerism, pushy sales people and glaring bright lights. If I have to like "shopping" I very much prefer the quaint little street with one off non generic stores with individually hand-made high quality items...local or sourced from specialty areas of the world.


Ironically, in my "previous life" hubby used to drag me to the mall at every opportunity- I have no idea how some people can like just walking around looking at "stuff"! I feel that anybody who feels such a need to go shopping so much must be trying to fill some gaping void or soothe some emotional ailment LOL, I guess that's why they call it "Shopping Therapy"...each to his own I guess. I personally prefer "Beach or Nature Therapy" and don't really get people who do "Gym Junkie Therapy"...these people should donate some of their spare energy to ME!!!

So I've been putting this "shopping" business off for about a month (bar the necessary food stuffs etc). But obviously, I'm still home...procrastinating. Basically I accidentally melted my toaster cord so need to get a new toaster...my electric toothbrush is at the end of it's life and only goes "Zzz" in fits and bursts, I need to get my jade bracelet restrung, and I need to buy some heavy medical books (Expensive) and of course...lots of food. ( I don't mind that last part ;)

Blergh, this being my first weekend I don't have to stress on some pressing limiting factor for a while I just want to stay curled up watching Mysterious Cities of Gold all day...but if I did that I'd fall behind even more...grr I hate this need for Continual Discipline issue.

In any case I shouldn't complain...I remember being in a town which didn't even have a bookstore so I should be happy for the convenience factor of malls. And in any case I only just noticed these crazy pyjamas from Asia I'm wearing have my animal symbol of a butterfly, along with a timely reminder :)

And another pic while I'm at it...calibration issue with 450D still unresolved...this test pic has been corrected with Photoshop obviously otherwise it wouldn't be this clear! :p

I see coloured lights.

So, just like is becoming the norm for Friday night :p Grandma was in bed by 7pm, but this time so exhausted actually passed out for the last couple hours...and pretty much skipped dinner again-naughty!

The most interesting thing for the day was that I woke up completely drained and exhausted Friday morning with a huge headache on the same side that my last patient had had (before I had "treated" it)....ergh, the Empathic Headache. Actually it was more like a migraine(which was how the patient had put it)...so when I eventually dragged myself to class my friend very kindly gave me a head massage...WOW. I have never had a head massage before. The strangest part was that every time her hands moved over my eyes I saw coloured lights typically a bright grassy green. There was also a blue and purple light on other occasions. Interesting. Usually I only see coloured lights (turquoise green mostly and a splash of purple or pink on rare occasion) after a session of yoga or something. And in any case I only started seeing lights since being attuned to reiki. So that was kinda cool...I guess this friend also has very strong Healing Vibes :)

I need to work out some better protection for next time I think. Another friend concurred my experience that everytime she treats people "with intent" she always knows they got better cos she ends up with their shoulder, or tummy pain etc the next day. I did notice I had a headache on the same side on the same day after but was surprised when I had the full blown migraine on the same side as the patient had had the next day.

Other thing on my mind was that I miss having an animal...this is my little cutie from before(my first ever pet besides fish!) :

just I can barely even manage myself with this schedule let alone look after an animal. I guess at this particular time I don't feel like I can really relate to people...I think it's kinda like that funny movie Ghost World where he says:

"You can't relate to other people, so you fill your life with stuff... I'm just like all these other collector losers. "

I have to admit I do recognise lots of myself in Enid and I could see myself getting along well with a Seymour. (Maybe it's only the "abnormal" people who truly pique my interest enough for me to want to know them- I wonder why haha)

I think on a just meet acquaintance level, getting along with people for me is pretty breezy but to find people I truly connect with past that and actually enjoy their company repeatedly, well that's pretty rare. I guess at my core I'm innately antisocial- it's not that the skills are completely lacking, it's more like being sociable seems like too much effort relative to pay off unless I'm "in the mood". Like my mum reminded me "remember you used to have a big picture of the HERMIT tarot card stuck on your bedroom wall?"

I guess since about forever on both tangible and spiritual levels I never exactly fit in with the norm for my age. So I guess I'm feeling decidedly antisocial...but maybe that's just cos I probably overdid it with too much contact with people I don't resonate with this week thus feeling more aware of that normal gap that exists between people but which I don't feel so much with animals, or even more so in Nature.

LOL, on the last trivial recount of the day...my young friend actually started calling me "Grandma" (I guess I asked for it when I keep using it all the time LOL)...he msged me "hey grandma, I'm at the pub across the road, come join me!"

I didn't reply.

I guess it's allowed for me to call me Grandma but a sore point if a young guy does...*hmph!

Terrific Thursday.

The highlight of today was definitely having my first ever own patients.

Other funny thing was meeting the THIRD random person with a pretty unique name that I seem to get along with...I had never heard this name before December....and suddenly 3! - LOL wonder if the Universe is trying to tell me anything?...I remember going through a weird period of keep on encountering people names some variation on "John" but at least John is a really common name...

I'm also very contented about finally being able to do The Art of Detachment which has been liberating and made life so much more pleasant...the ability to keep boundaries has been my biggest no benefit to me problem for the longest time...Caring TOO much has been incredibly draining...

And for dinner, a nice 20 minute no-skill but tasty "what's in the fridge and pantry" meal...

Green Tea Soba Noodles in Miso Base Soup
1.5 T-2T of dark miso
water
some sea salt
white pepper
few drops sesame oil
bit of soya sauce
chopped carrot
chopped cabbage
frozen corn kernels
exotic white mushrooms-oyster or those stringy ones
tofu puffs
free range organic chicken fillet slices
an egg
green tea soba noodles

Basically boil up the stock & flavourings, add the "stuff", simmer. Crack an egg on the top and stir until just cooked. Pour soup of stuff onto the separately cooked and drained noodles. Voila! Nice healthy meal in 20 minutes. If you have time I'd use a Clay Pot, everything just tastes better and seems more nutritious...for some reason LOL

And finally, talk about wishes being gratified somewhat instantaneously...1 day after I wished on my blog for more international visitors my awesome mate D who resides in Japan informs me he will be coming for a visit shortly...I only get to see him every 1.5-2 years these days so really looking forward to catching up...and plus he's got a super cool family and bunch of friends here too :)

Anyway I'm going to relaaaax by reading some Sartre etc...Loving all this Existentialist stuff which my uber cultured Mexican mate got me into...Have no idea how I managed a whole arts degree never having read it before! And then I will curl up with some Mysterious Cities of Gold...this is an AWESOME cartoon circa 1983 great for young and old alike!

Mystic Wednesday

I'm loving the series THE MENTALIST...Great Storylines...Great Twists! Super sensitive intuitive psychological psychic investigative Detective- totally up my ally!! If detective work wasn't so "dangerous" that's one career path I probably would have wanted to try out...Lisbon is such a kick ass cool chick - I would love to have a friend like this in real life :)

This morning started with another early wake up call and lost keys kerfuffle...thanks to a little divine help though I did manage to find them before I missed too much class....stuck in a big umbrella!

Slacked off for an hour Easter egg shopping which was kinda fun...my friend and are weird - we just love strolling up and down supermarket alleys probably cos we love eating! LOL

Had a Four Pillars astrology consult which was kinda interesting but strangely brought no new insights...basically I think when you're very intuitive there are things you just already know ;)

Strangely though I did inadvertently get unexpected insight from a friend who has the Divine Gift of Prophecy. That was pretty cool :)

Another weird thing, I am very much in an Aquarius phase right now...keep meeting Aquarians and am really enjoying their company- these astrological phases are weird...before it was Aries and now Aquarians...exactly the same thing happened in this order last year- deja vu!