Milk and Anna...

I'm a bit peopled out for a bit so I've gone into hermit retreat mode watching lots of films...I've seen MILK, CHANGELING and THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE. I'm hoping to catch MY SISTER'S KEEPER tomorrow only because when I was travelling my roommate couldn't stop going on about the book!

I really enjoyed MILK. And I am fascinated by Anna Wintour, featured in THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE.

I saw her dark glasses- noted how she is...and decided "I like her"...probably cos we're not dissimilar(I think if I hadn't been destined into the healing path maybe I could have gone like that)...and yes, she is a Scorpio too(dark glasses give it away LOL)...I also wouldn't be surprised if she's an INTJ...

Definitely one of the more intriguing public characters around ;)

Introverts should stop hiding in their earphones...

...AND FACE THE WORLD! *lol

my earphones busted yesterday and I haven't as yet replaced them cos I don't have any spares, I'm not sure which ones to get or whether it is time for a listending device upgrade...(with looming globetrotter-iness, I think not for the latter!

In any case it did occur to me that I do spend my entire outside existence plugged to my earphones....and that perhaps it is a bit of a barrier device to the outside world...in any case, my suspicions were proven today when my neighbour across the hall was passing by and struck up a conversation...lol he did mention he hadn't spoken to me before cos everytime he sees me I'm plugged up to earphones!

In any case it was a rather pleasant exchange and I was very pleased when he complimented me on the "decent noises" coming out of my apartment *lol...

so now I know one neighbour...now to work on my aversion to completely random strangers...and associated automated anti-socialness.

A random aside, I've been doing crazy 18 hour very active bustly days in the pursuit of life balance...very sleep deprived and tired but I'm still managing to continue with them! I guess I should curb this soon before I crash...I think the fact I CAN do this means that maybe my health is improving :) But I'll have to give it a couple more months before I know for sure...I hope so, cos at the moment there are lots of doubts from those close to me that I will be able to make good on my global wanderlust.

Reiki Love!

Wow this reiki stuff is so powerful. I went for a reiki/massage the other day since scientific study has recently proved that massage boosts your NK and T cells (basically, Immunity) and to be honest this experience with reiki with this particular practitioner was the only time I didn't feel aches in my body (which is also what inspired me to go learn myself).

Ever since then, I feel an amazing reborn ability to feel love towards dare I say it, everybody! (just to varying degrees, and in different ways of course ;)

This is in stark contrast to my usual cynical misanthropy fuelled by my dero surrounds.

Maybe I just had a strange day...it's not everyday one wakes from a coma! I think I need these "good news miracle" stories more often to "top me up" on feel good vibes...cos I'm just way so idealistic...and still haven't mastered protecting my energetic boundaries from negativity.

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!

...my penpal is ALIVE!!!! :-D D D

Every time one of my trusty penpals disappears unannounced for some time I immediately start to worry and think the worst...this time I was so RIGHT!!!

My mate in Italy disappeared around the time of the big Earthquake there. I immediately made the connection especially when I sent an email to check on him and got no reply. That was months and months ago. Somehow my intuition told me to check on him again...and WHADDYA KNOW! He recently woke from a COMA and has only been able to get back online and start to type this week!!!!

WOW!

In any case I feel great joy and gratitude to The Universe that he gets the the gift of life again :)

Make sure to have a little fun along the way :)

The concept of "fiscal responsibility" was mentioned to me this week.

Boy am I familiar with this concept- if nothing else I have lived my entire supposedly "irresponsible" youth like that!

And what have I concluded?

You need compromised balance, and definitely to take advantage of opportunities for fun when they do arise. Because, really, youth doesn't necessarily guarantee a long existence, the only definite is the present.

Although I have faced my own mortality a few times, never more did the idea become more "real" than when I was confronted with an open casket of my partner at the time's classmate who just disappeared literally overnight in her sleep. THAT was a huge wakeup call! I think that's also when I realised how horrible it is to be an Empath...when the family went round to shake hands...her mother's grief just absolutely floored me...and it hung around intensely for months, really quite irrational for how distant the connection was...after that, I realise I'm definitely too sensitive to attend these things and should avoid unless absolutely necessary, especially such blatant energy transfers...at least until I can better protect my own boundaries...

anyway that was just a random thought when I woke up today...I'm getting really busy now and need to be super productive to fit everything in(especially the conscientious attempt at life balance leisure/relaxation time aspect) so my posts will be more sporadic like this...

as an aside I got talking to an older lady and I asked one of my favourite questions: "how old do you think I am?"...she was very shrewd, rather than try and guess she just said "that's really difficult, with you it's very mixed". "Why?" I asked...she said "well you look so young but when I talk to you, you seem so much older"... haha ;) Maybe I should start wearing an explanatory t-shirt "I'm actually old". Isn't it bad how people always judge you from your exterior(I forgive you anyway it's only natural). My friend was telling me "You need to wear makeup" (if you want instant adult credibility)...

No thanks! My mother's trade secret to looking young(apart from the genes)...don't wear makeup when you're young so later on when you're really old, you won't look so old! LOL

Zhen...Globetrotter!

The seed has been planted. I think I want to try and travel again.

So I think I have to start going all tight ass and lock myself up to be able to afford it...and hopefully the exchange rates improve by then!

Just a tentative plan and hope...but I guess we'll have to see...

The City is GROSS!

Skank galore and full of dirty flirty pervs...it's absolutely friggin...disgusting!

Walking around by myself as a female...can be...just....blergh...

I think I'm still getting used to not having a buffer around...

So although I usually try to balance comfort dero-ness for some adult credibility today at least I felt the need to revert back to my cons and hoodies...with the messy high ponytail and sunnies I think I can pass for a tall 10 year old :) well maybe a teenager except that these days even really young girls dress so skanky and wear so much makeup....which is why I think in my get up I could look like a kid from a distance.

I think I'll be doing this a lot more often...until I escape to somewhere less skanky...

my friend said...if the city grosses me out so much, why don't I just go immerse myself in a church crowd...LOL...no thanks!

The Woman's ID/Pleasure Principle...

I'm all good with girls again :)...all I really needed was a day of escape...nothing personal, just I need that debrief when I get female overload to let my yang-ness be able to breathe in peace rather than have its survival threatened gasping for air LOL

In any case, we all know what the typical MAN's ID is...my mate was wondering what is a WOMAN's?? Without hesitation, I immediately replied:

"Foot Massages and chocolate!" ;)

And added...luxurious no time constraint...Bubble Baths!!!

Agree? What else...

Cornflowers...Je T'aime!

^^

Defecting to Northern Hemisphere...

My Mate is convinced that cos all my friends keep leaving to the other hemisphere and most of them already did and the fact that all the new people I like best are from the other hemisphere that it is like "A SIGN".

I just think I'm jinxed.

What a Cool Dream!

I saw a closeup photo of a baby tomato growing in the sunlight. Day by day the tomato grew bigger and bigger....and when it was full grown, red and plump I reached into the photo and plucked it and was astonished when my hand retrieved a chilly firm fresh tomato in real life(the one in the photo was no longer there)....if only reality were as cool as dreams!!!

MATE S.M.S!!!

I realised today why I was feeling so cranky...after about my 20th girrrrl interaction exclusively for the last 3 days I realised my out of norm bad naturedness was because I'm ALL GIRRRRLED OUT!!

I'm not used to such girrrrl overload...and quite frankly, being socialised by boys almost my whole life...I really can't hack it!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH.

Apart from tomboys and 60 year old women...I prefer the company of men...any day...I'm not exactly sure why that is but they just don't irritate or BORE me out of my brain as much as women can!

H.O I'll still blog while I have rants like these I need to vent somewhere! LOL

Fire Hydrant Study

I was charged with photography on the weekend using super expensive lenses on someone else's similar body - Conclusion? Low level Canon DSLRs are SHITE especially at being able to autoread lighting, focus etc etc. Definitely their range of auto snappy cameras are so much better...especially in terms of focusing if you want things at different depths ALL in focus...

anyway here I am using a standard cheap 50mm with 1.8 aperture trying out all the focus points...this is about as good as it gets ever with my equipment...unfortunately :(

I am seriously thinking of selling this and trading in for a trusty prosumer...or better yet defecting to Nikon...I think for end of year trip I'll just take a snappy Nikon or buy a new battery for the old G3. This 450D is definitely not suitable for casual snaps you need to manually adjust everything and take the one shot several times cos results can be SO variable...and still! On many occasions...BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRR and very dismal, often washed out seeming shots unless you can be bothered to post-process. Basically the auto is crap. Blerghhhh.

Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations of a DSLR post using a non digital Canon SLR which always took good shots no matter what!

Fingerprints

I had a very disturbing dream - not nightmarish enough to wake me up but bad enough to have a very unrestful sleep.

I think an old woman got murdered- I knew some details that might implicate me and I knew that if I talked I'd be taken in as the chief suspect/have my life threatened. Hence I spent a lot of time hiding in a room constantly worrying that the authorities would come and get me and was incredibly careful to leave no fingerprints anywhere...it was a very draining exercise...even in a dream :P

I still have no idea what it means - I can't see how it in any way relates to my real life...

p.s I'm thinking I'm over blogging...also cos I found this blog which is a great reflection of my life...I found this article particularly fascinating...although I test as neither an A nor B(which is the healthiest to be according to a psychologist) I think I'm very much always living a type A lifestyle! And I don't see how it's avoidable...

Taking Back One's Energy...

Lol I was amused recently when I saw my friend's new blog- there was a title and underneath it the subtitle read: "It's Me It's Me It's ALL ABOUT ME!"

This is cause she is a real giver and always ends up a slave to other people's needs. I wouldn't say I am that afflicted compared to her but I can definitely relate :P. I didn't really realise this until a third party- a kinesiologist told me the reason I get drained is cos I give out way too much energy to other people and don't save enough for myself...so in the interest of Self-Preservation I've been taking my energy back and not giving it out to all needy parties willy nilly...and Boy! the effect has been amazing-yes, suddenly I have so much more time and energy to actually enjoy life and get what I need to get done done! Very, very cool....sometimes I just wish I were born more selfish to start with to not have to have wasted so many years getting by without being able to exercise this key life skill!

In any case, apart from that the most amusing thing this week was bumping into a friend who said her little cousin had noticed me at a party and wanted to ask me out...my friend was in complete disbelief and kept asking to clarify: "are you SERIOUS? do you know how much OLDER than you she is?" (lol, Grandma!)

"I don't care. Age doesn't matter." replied the wise boy ;)

In any case my friend decided to tell a BIG FAT LIE to discourage him since she just presumed I have no time of day for men under the age of 30(as a general rule yes that's true lol)....so she told him..."She's HIGH MAINTENANCE!" *LOL...How Rude!!!!! I never understand why women have such problems just telling cold, hard truths...in any case if she didn't decide on my behalf I think people -with a bit of guts- are quite impressive...maybe cos I am typically quite the chicken shit...lol

In any case this scenario and that of having your ID checked is why typical young people especially asians are so compelled to dress up so much and wear so much makeup...cos otherwise people are so ignorant as to your real age and you get lots of young guys trying to hit on you...strangely enough in non city areas people are so much more sensible...nobody ever checks my ID - because there it is solely the youngsters who dress up and are plastered in heaps of makeup- where as here, since EVERYBODY is dressed up so much and plastered in makeup, then people like me, by default, end up getting mistaken for a little kid :P

I know I'll be very grateful for my youthful asian genes one day :-)

Having One's Ego Stroked ;)

...I swear, I must have been A MAN in all my past lives ;)

Anyhow I had a great relaaaaxiing weekend away and it was great cos I was so unwound I actually was a whole lot more productive and got reasonable amount study done with utmost ease :)

Anyhow back to elucidate on the title of this post...3 boosts to the ego this weekend :)

A woman quite a bit older than me called me...WISE ;)

My friend in NY said my photos are just like what you can see in MOMA(Museum Of Modern Art) okay maybe not for picture quality :p but maybe for subject matter or angle?

I was walking with a latino when he hears some passersby speaking espanol...a very random encounter and conversation ensues...one of the two HOT latina chicks said to the dude "your friend is pretty", which coming from a sober, HOT supermodel-esque latina FEMALE...wow that carries...weight...in my opinion, hehe ;) and the coolest part was cos they spoke slow relative to other South Americans, I actually could "entiendo" quite a bit...which was so cool and a pleasant surprise cos it's been SO LONG since I've engaged in anything espanol...

anyway I'm now off to go watch a load of DVDs and enjoy the rest of this relaaaxing weekend...ciao! :D

Latent City Malevolence...

Well in terms of luck today was like seeing the complete flip side of the coin compared to yesterday! Typical sine wave...

That's duality for you! LOL

Well I don't have time to detail everything so I'll just share the one main story that sent my stress levels skyrocketing today...interesting thing is my astrological calendear had warned it'd be a stressful one today! LOL

So anyway I needed to get cash out...but my local ATM was highly suspect eg I could totally jiggle the card holder part which was poking out a bit too much....skimmers! I thought I'd not take the risk...

So anyway I decided to just EFTPOS at the small grocery store instead...after a separate stressful incident involving a newbie operator who wasted my time for 40 minutes and then couldn't even refund me the money they'd taken off me for no service, I realised...SHITE! The rather large sum of cash I had EFTPOSed prior for my weekend away...well she'd never given me the cash!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It's not like little grocery stores even have surveillance cameras...so if the operator had pocketed my cash that's buhbye and one big dent to my paltry savings!

In any case to cut a long story short I gave the shop a call...and spoke to the manager...she was very good. I think it happens quite a lot...the monotony of the day for the check out chicks numbs their brains...and the girl had forgotten...cos my hands had been tied and I'd been rushing around like a mad chook I hadn't noticed either that she'd given me my groceries but no cash!

ANYWAY....was stressful...lesson learnt...need to be more careful...not that I'm not but I get forgetful and scatterbrained especially when busy and tired...

When I headed back out to claim my cash back I took along Horace and it was very relaxing- there is just something about making black and white images that really benefits my psyche especially when my nerves have been shot!

Yes, I really DO NEED this weekend escape- but unfortunately I'm gonna have to drag study up with me too...next 2 weeks are pretty hectic for me- if anything I'm probably overdoing my capacity...in any case I don't mind lugging the study stuff as long as I get to commune with nature. :-D

You just need to stretch out your hands with open palms...

Yesterday I was having a bit of a mini internal drama/crisis...did you notice it's a FULL MOON again...sheesh that's probably been the 3rd or 4th full moon in a row which coincided with me having a small flip out about something. It's like I get all emotionally charged and extra sensitive to "vibes" or something...

ANYWAY. Cut a long story short...I'm used to just having things fall in my lap if I ask lately....YEAH :) I think I'm pretty lucky in a good way these days^^!

Anyhow...yesterday I discovered an even more effective technique! Basically I unfolded my arms and stuck out two open palms...and lol I think I got back about 8 TENTACLES some waving lollypops and bearing flowers ^^!

It's pretty cool...somebody up there likes me :) :) :)

I really like Older People.

One of my teachers happens to be pretty old. And is it such a nice change (and feeling of relief) having an oldie to talk to. I actually find it alot easier to talk to her and have a flowing worthwhile conversation than everybody else...maybe this is a sign, like I should go do some volunteer work at a nursing home or something...I think more oldies in my life could actually help me stay sane in this very alien environment...

in another reverted pattern, I was watching an asian movie where I actually could understand some of the language(and boy was that cool!) In any case this triggered another episode of...I'm not exactly sure where my cultural loyalties lie...I start to see the good and bad of both...I guess this is probably why I get along best with third culture kids...

Neighbourly Encounters

What's the weirdest thing you ever did to a neighbour or they ever did to you? Okay, it'd be pretty weird if a neighbour knocked on my door and asked to borrow some sugar...just cos we're in the city and I'd tell them to just go down the road to the shop or all hours convenience store!

When I was a kid growing up I remember my neighbour locked themselves out of their house and they asked my brother to climb in from our balcony onto their balcony...gee they are so lucky my brother didn't fall doing it!

This year my smoking neighbour also locked themselves out and asked for access to my balcony so they could climb into theirs...

it was good timing cos shortly after when they were pissing me off with their cigarette smoke at 1am in the morning I could yell at them and tell them off and they haven't smoked in the vicinity since!

In any case often I go down the stairs or even just open my door and hear great music...after standing there for quite some time to work out where exactly the sound was coming from, I isolated it to a particular unit. Cos the owner didn't respond to my knocking I left a note under the door asking for identification of the music and could he leave a note under my door to let me know...cos of course I just had to know!!!

Fast forward a few months on...and the same thing happened again! This time I left a note under the door again but with my email instead thinking it would be easier for him to respond...in anycase to cut a long story short tonight I picked up the two cds I had left in his mailbox....*sigh! so nice...now I am listening to gypsy flamenco type guitar or something....like that relaxing stuff you hear in open air malls and markets on Sunday afternoons...good stuff!

Oh yeah the other weird thing that happened this year was I was wishing for money and a visiting neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some cash to borrow my garage for a few days that same day :)

On another note...how jinxed am I! I was already preparing for the apocalypse cos my 11 friend is leaving in November and E is leaving in September...today I also found out D is ditching his studies here and going to start the entire thing again but in China! Sheesh...now I see why I'm a hermit- this endless cycle of friend exodus is getting tiring...:p Conclusion: no point getting attached to anybody...some people were supposed to be an island I think LOL!

Mayhem, Chaos, Drama!

...wow, there actually IS none...now that's different...it's like I almost don't know what to do with myself! ;)

What luxury...I like it!!! :-D

Random aside...I'm desperately desiring a macro lens...but they are soooo expensive! Tempted to get and try a thingamejig called a close up filter...any thoughts? I guess I'll try and stick my old non digital 75-300mm lens on today and see if I can get any decent close up shots first...

edit: oops except for accidentally leaving the monochrome on sepia I actually liked all the shots I took in the whole 10 minutes of spare time I got for the entire day...I particularly like this one- I think it'd make a cute card! and yep, THANK GOD for the big lens...in the city a wide lens is pretty useless cos everything is just so damn ugly!