If you were an animal, what animal would you be?

Of all the people I have asked this question, few have been able to answer...I don't see what's so hard about it...maybe some people get so caught up in the real world it stunts their imaginations ;)

If you have an idea though, about what animal is MOST LIKE YOU, it would interest me ever so much to know!

I am by far and away most like a BUTTERFLY :-)

I find it an amusing coincidence that of all people I know, it was my ex who used to run around with a big net and catch butterflies as a little boy...perhaps by knowing a person's childhood history we can determine who is unsuitable for us LOL!

I have never caught a butterfly by the way...I just feel that trapping them in nets is a violation of their very existence...kind of like birds in cages...

3,2,1...Berk!!!

It's 1.58am and I am all dopey-eyed cos I was so exhausted I crashed into bed at 9:10pm then my innate little "gross, you haven't brushed your teeth" sentient being made me wake up to rectify the situation...feeling especially guilty after consuming loads of my latest junkfood discovery...IKEA chocolate!! [100g of bonafide made in Germany chocolate for $1!!! It's pretty damn good (and oh so affordable :) ]

In any case then I felt extra guilty about not having drunken any of the health giving herbal brew I spent ages boiling up....three days ago!!! So I spent the last hour laboriously trying to down <200ml of the Black Stuff!

Overzealous Needle Maniac E also subjected me to 13 needles on Wednesday- actually she was trying to bully me into 16 (but with the help of limited time available) I was able to draw the line. Honestly, I felt quite drained after...I am very much of the belief that being a human pin cushion is not necessary. I really don't agree with the western medicine style approach where a needle becomes like a drug targeting each specific symptom...I think acupuncture should stick to its holistic approach and amount of needles be considered very carefully so that the treatment is a harmonious and potent combination that works together seamlessly to target the whole....in my view less is more.

Apart from that, I also ended up with a painfully blue tempular bruise where she punctured my vein :p (however it is recovering nicely with magical Chinese liniment ZHENG GU SHUI which is a must have for every martial arts enthusiast or anybody that is subject to a lot of bumps and bruises and broken bones).

I am not looking forward to later today when I subject myself to more random guinea pigging to more Gungho amateurs...and this class is reputed for one thing....FIRE NEEDLES!

I think I'll have to pass...no thanks - Call me sensitive...Some of us just scar and feel pain more easily than others :(

A Strange Day In the Mail...

LOL actually there are way more interesting things that have kept me busy these past few days but this is the quickest, non-brain taxing one to blog...and believe me, my internet (for non-essentials) time these days is now at a premium!!

So I just went to get the mail when I took the garbage out after cooking not one but TWO meals...a really quick version of a Malaysian Curry and a really quick version of a beef bolognese sauce...WOW who knew that when I put my head down to it-with my new found "efficient" mode- that I could get so much achieved in such a small amount of time?! I can't believe how much time I've wasted all these years procrastinating and being so slow about everything! :p

But anyway to get back to the point...the mail.

Funnily enough I had three pieces of mail...one was a free complimentary pass for two to a free dinner(it stipulates a "couple"). The other envelope contained two free movie passes. The final piece of mail, although unwanted advertising, still managed to not be too offensive by being in the shape of fun cutout men picture above! What a strange day in the mail...

And what irony- I never got free double passes to anything for all that time I could have used them and now...

sheesh, I guess I need to find myself a boy...correction...a man! LOL

Kidding, reality calls...and I only have just enough time to go clean up the mess in the kitchen, shower and hit the sack for an early start and my longest day of the week tomorrow! *phew it's a busy, busy life again!

Will try and catch up with blogging backlog at week end if I get a chance...Have a good week, Ciao!

Inspired Vision...

I love how the internet connects me with inspired souls all over the globe.

= )

One pleasant surprise that made my day today so far was seeing this Real Artist's work which very much resonates...I love it!

Soo Jung's style is so colourful, inspiring and whimsical- completely appeals to my dreamy nature and love of entertaining fantasy... LOL

Please have a look - you won't regret it!

Those Weird Things We Do!

They(as in wise people or cultures), say that every hour of sleep you get before midnight is worth like...gazillions!

No Kidding. Exhausted as hell from the last few days of sorting donations, inhaling dust and suffering continuous episodes of sneezing attacks so that having run out of "Hayfellergy" tablets I had to resort to the lesser brother of Western antihistimines (which quite frankly are so harsh they give me liver pains :p), I hit the sack possibly one hour before midnight-which since holidays kicked in-is some kind of record for me!!

So anyway at 4am I woke up feeling relatively bright as a button and felt instinctively compelled to rearrange my bedroom somewhat. Or at least clean the dust below my bed- being 4am though I couldn't use the vacuum so I wet mopped instead-very happy with the results :) I only made 2 small furniture adjustments and wow, the airflow in the room is just so much better-happy!

In any case just a little "human" anecdote- that is one thing I love about not being a robot-we can still harbour and entertain free will and quirks...Yep that was the most satisfying 4am activity I've engaged in for a while! May this zest for cleaning continue!! LOL

Male Chivalry in the City...

So I was a little struggling with a bag full of art supplies and about 3 bags of food...and I suddenly hear this "do you need a hand?" from some cute random male.

HUH? Is my first thought- this doesn't happen in Sydney City!!!

So immediately, cynical suspicion kicks in and I politely decline the offer (cos really I didn't really need any help...I've managed in more dire situations...)

Later on I'm trying to get through the door to my building and I hear an offer of help again...this time it's a random lady neighbour...I didn't hesitate to accept at all especially cos this time I felt I actually needed it ;)...well we weren't going to get through the door with all my bags blocking the entry anyhow is how I saw it...

I was reflecting on these two episodes and wondering whether there was in any way double standard involved...ie that I can so easily and willingly accept help from a lady but not a man...I have to admit it's probably got a lot to do with Ego...The Independent female who is not quite feminist but definitely very capable was definitely unwilling to accept help from a MAN...cos God forbid it conveys the idea that "women Need men(!)" And besides,...living in the city you tend to come armed with a healthy dose of cynicism- when did favours ever come for free?!

In any case the standard is that nobody offers to help carry grocery bags unless you're an elderly little old lady and even if I do feel like one at times, I'm still far from one...

Eh, I hate that city dwelling has made me so cynical that people might just be plain...*nice*!

From this episode which is exactly how most females I know would have reacted makes me conclude: the Independent Female Ego is definitely very alive and well!!! LOL

What I'm feeling happy about: Decluttering for a good cause!

I like how when tragedy does strike such as in the case of the Victorian Bushfires recently, I like how it inspires the best in people-particularly a generosity of spirit we don't often witness otherwise(especially unusual for the big city!)...

In any case, being a student with miserable income I like to help how I can...so for me it was braving the dark wet and rain and making myself head out to buy as much as I could carry late Friday night....since the supermarket was donating all profits to the Bushfire victims.

Tonight I got off my ass and started to declutter the house- starting to gather whatever spares I have of everything to donate. Geez it's scary how much unnecessary STUFF I have! I've noticed Asians and particularly people who grew up as poor migrants tend to being such huge HOARDERS...it's completely irrational but it's an inherent socialisation that needs to be consciously unlearnt. So I thought turning my house upside down digging for spares of everything was a good start :)

Too much physical baggage (attachment) somehow translates to me as oppressive spiritual burden too...I don't NEED so much STUFF!!! (They say two key behaviours that benefit Scorpios is to find things to let go of and throw out everyday, as well as learning forgiveness).

Apart from that I'm feeling really happy about discovering Bpay View(viewing bills online)...I guess I got so busy I had just been in "survival" mode and living on "habit"....cos you know, change can take a bit of effort for us inflexible types...LOL

So anyway I'm really happy I'll cut down on all the paper wastage that goes into my bills and will save me time and space by not having to open and store the paper...unfortunately I am not willing to do the same transition for music...I still need tangible hard CDs with album art, lyrics and the works!!! :)

No Spring Chicken!

eh, I'm still tiiired so just some dot points:

I had this amazingly aromatic Polish Bison Grass Żubrówka Vodka from Bialystock (I got my cheap thrills just from the name being the same as Max Bialystock in "The Producers" which I was fortunate enough to see on Broadway in NYC :)

In any case the aftertaste overwhelmingly reminded me of acupuncture swabs and later on. my stomach lining felt like it was eroding so lucky I had some boiled potatoes and milk in the fridge to help reline my stomach!

I discovered the most delicious drink ever -from Sweden :) - Kobbarbergs Pear Cider. Now I really need to get to Ikea so that I can load up on more of that and try some of that Marabou.
Chocolate speaking I'm still liking Italian made UK brand Green and Black's, Dutch Droste and my latest discovery German Ritter. Wow who knew there were such interesting stories behind chocolate bars...

I got to fly my first remote control helicopter- it was a lot more skill intensive than I thought- anyway I'm glad that even though I crashed it it still managed to survive for another life LOL

Anyway Big Thanks to P who played host and even managed to cough up a very impressive home made roast which was great considering the incredibly wet and wintry weather we've had all week!

Hope you had a Fun "VD"! Lol, before when I thought of Valentine's Day, tacky commercial cringeworthy red hearts and red roses would come to mind...now though S has given me this new abbreviated "VD" perspective so first and foremost another kind of VD comes to mind...LOL!

In any case I was intrigued to find out that in some parts of the world the 14th of February is also known as St Triphun's Day = Drunkards Day...LOL

Prussian Virtues, Mata Hari & Germanophile

I was reading at Wiki that Prussians believed that the following virtues accounted for the rise of their country:

perfect organization
discipline
sacrifice
rule of law
obedience to authority
reliability
tolerance
frugality
punctuality
modesty
diligence

Except for a slight problem with the authority and law bits ;) I have great respect for these qualities...possibly cos some of them such as discipline -for example- are severely lacking in me!

In any case this information arose from reading up about the fascinating life story of femme fatale and suspected "double agent" Mata Hari. At one point she was involved with the German crown prince...

I'm not sure exactly why but for some reason ever since Germany infiltrated my brain, it just keeps randomly enterting my consciousness and I've become completely fascinated to just keep learning more and more about everything German related I can get my hands on! So apart from being fascinated with Nazi war films and especially propaganda films of the time (when I've never been interested in history prior), and cuckoo clocks, I've been in German everything investigation mode.

So it was interesting to find out that my birthday corresponds with two very important moments in German history...not only the Fall of the Berlin Wall marking the reunification of East and West but also that it is also the day Germany became a republic with the withdrawal of the monarchy with the abdication of the Crown Prince and his Father.

Apart from the Japanese, I've always felt a strong inexplicable sense of connection with Germans- I'm not sure whether it is because ideologically and historically the two cultures are in some way quite similar and are quite like me personally or whether it has to do with past lives...Or maybe I thought it would be cool to be a Germanophile just to counter balance G's annoying Francophile-ness.

Anway just a random tangle line of jumbled thoughts...how cool is Mata Hari...I wonder if there are still surviving blood related descendents of hers...I can't wait till 2017 when the French army will release court documents related to her trial and execution.

Sheesh who ever knew, I the rebel daughter of a former history teacher, would so many years after schooling start to actually become interested in history of my own accord...

Oh-o, I think I've started something now...

Something triggered me and I was inspired to not only unload cash at my favourite music store (my favourite emotional salve) but also to go splash out on...PAINTS!

Anyhow...I just wanted to document a significant moment.

I just picked up a paintbrush for the first time in 14 years and just finished putting on my first layer of primer...*wow*, even that in itself was...a joy...

I'm anxiously awaiting to see if this marks the beginning of the end of creative repression for me...anyway I'm kind of excited...

And now I'm trawling Ebay for a second hand easel...maybe I should just exercise some restraint before buying up all this stuff I might never use again...just in case this is one of those signature irresponsible moments of transient, fleeting...enthusiasm...lol.

Even if this "hobby" is for real, I really doubt I can store too many canvases...good thing I have plenty of desolate white wall I guess ;)

How do I get my Zen back?

I couldn't understand exactly how I came to be so agitated...and then reflecting on my last few days of interactions...I realised...I'm all Girlied out!!!

To give you some idea, on Monday I think I spent about 2 hours listening to my friend rant about diamond rings and "if you want it you got to put a ring on it!" FOR at least TWO FREAKING HOURS non-stop! Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday were not much better...different people, different topics but just as girly. I was honestly shocked at the obsessiveness and then I realised that every girl, even the most boyish seeming ones, have something girly about them!

I think whatever the case the "spiritual" talk I am attending tomorrow night will be some very, very welcome and much needed refreshment...I can feel my mind getting stale from all this overly revisited "girliness".

Alma Mater

Returned for the first time in quite a few years...(although unfortunately unlike my talented relatives it was neither to present nor receive an award! ;)

In a word...WEIRD.

Brought loads of memories back and transported me back to a time when life was so young and carefree and the extent of your most pressing problems was choosing which guy to be interested in...lol.

Couldn't help visiting old haunts- some things like the horrible smelling pink soap in the dispensers and the musty, mouldy smell of old books in the library were exactly the same, yet there were also signs of lightyears of progress: new buildings had popped out of nowhere!

The university has obviously fared very well from the international and fee paying student dollar...I have to say I really appreciated all the improvements and was very impressed with the architecture - the best concentration of modern architecture I've seen here - a great change from the monolithic eyesores that dominated during my days.

Man On Wire....

FINALLY! I've been waiting months to see this film!!!!

So crazy...so eccentric....SO INSPIRING...Ingenious! So much disregard for rules! I Love it!!!

I really enjoyed the whole "Your dreams become your reality" and "anything and everything is possible" themes! Yup, this film totally resonated with me^^.

After, just drove around aimlessly chatting with a friend- was pretty fun- there is absolutely nothing open on a Sunday night - just dead except for the fresh air and night lights- exactly how I like it :)

Busy week ahead...starting with a gradual easing back into it with a bit of herb clinic in the arvo and particpating in some pretty interesting psych research on Tuesday...

Fruit Smorgasboard...Hot!

I was out west yesterday...It must have been close to 40 degrees.

The sun beating down with the smoking heat rising off the tarmac was truly oppressive. I felt embarrassed at the thought of being compelled the way of the stereotypical asian chick in that I might just have to start carrying sun parasols...

Last night was a trying exercise in sleep-one of many of late. Not only must we contend with uncomfortable ambient temperature, stagnant airflow and humidity but the air is also thick with smoke from bushfire.

I am truly tempted to get an air conditioning unit, however I am wary of the way my power bills will spike if I do.

So I am staying indoors within the shady, relatively cool confines of my home...I guess I'll get a couple more films under my belt- not very productive- but it is too hot to do much else!

Yesterday I found myself thinking, oh well at least if this old soul business is correct, hopefully I won't have to witness the truly extreme stages of global warming ending life on this planet....ergh who wants to baked like a bacon chip- what a way to go!

The only real upside to the Summer is the smorgasboard of fruits I am spoilt with- for breakfast today I had fresh figs and cherries. My other favourites are blueberries, mangoes, watermelon, golden peaches, white nectarines and red papayas! Miam miam!

A Thought...

Happiness is an inner state...it can only be found within.

Ja :)

In case you like to know about my mundane matters...Trip to dentist in store for me today-eeek!

How much are you Compelled to Help others?

It's not my nature to butt into other people's business- sheesh, I am anti-confrontational by nature even in my own business LOL

But sometimes there are some people who just strike me as screaming out for help- I dunno maybe I feel it, or they touch me on some subconscious level...and it is very hard to just ignore.

In any case, unless I meet them in a professional setting or they are a personal friend, and I am directly or indirectly 'asked', I generally won't butt in...but lately I feel the urge to help completely random strangers...

and I have that fear- argh what if they don't want to be helped- do I really want to be screamed at and be told to mind my own business?!!

And do I want to be troubling myself by engaging in others problems unnecessarily?

ergh.

I think now there's this extra confusion layer because I have these "feelings" I'm trying to acknowledge as valid and not just ignore these days and some of these "feelings" seem to be angels etc communicating with me...

Ergh, what to do?

Silence is Golden

Silence, Intuition, Resonance, Understanding.

My spiritual rennaissance of sorts is manifesting as The Hermit typically found on tarot cards.

Like I said earlier, all I feel like doing is going to the beach, sitting and breathing.

And I'm gripped by a new found appreciation of silence and lack of desire to talk. And I'm really grateful for those people I can just be with, in silence.

I'm also grateful for my international friends...That is the beauty of the internet, friendships defy all typical sociocultural barriers. Hence I am blessed with friendships I would never have come across in tangible life...

Actually this was a pretty funny exchange between Me & S which just highlights the beauty of crossing cultural barriers...

She finished an email with "Life is just a bowl of cherries"...well, I'd never heard that expression before however my Brit friend from down on the farm and I had been discussing cherries lately so the way I guessed that expression to mean was that,

"Life just gives you the shits!" ;)

Haha! I am so glad to provide the rollicking laughter on two sides of the globe for the day LOL

Fuzzy Reception...

My intuitive antennae are all wacked out right now. I'm having so much inexplicable stimulus coming at me right now that I can make neither head nor tail of any of it- I'm completely overwhelmed = total mind boggled confusion. Hence the extreme withdrawal and retreating within myself to try and get my radar back so I can make sense of it all! argh.

Francois Truffaut's The 400 Blows (1959)

So as my free time rapidly ticks down, I've been in the mood to indulge my long lost cinema habit- and not just any...I've only been in the mood for old time classics.

There's just something about old movies, and not just for the gorgeous black and white visuals where each screen would make a half decent photo...I think it's because there are less "party trick ruffles" that modern technology affords cinema these days so you tend to get a film that has more consideration in its plot, dialogue and construction. I guess I also enjoy these realistic coming of age type stories, in particular this one, because I can relate to our protagnoist as the troublemaker problem child! ;) I also absolutely adored this film as a series of visuals...since I love black and white photography above all...and this one is stunning...the French definitely have a fine tradition of excellent cinematography...

I'm lucky my local library seems to have a really awesome arthouse collection of old school classics and foreign films (much better than the video shop- and the best part is it's free :)

Apart from engrossing myself in old time flicks, all I really feel like doing lately if I do go out, is to go to the beach sit there and just breathe....no kidding! I guess that's pretty anti-social but that's what I feel like. But since I know that time is ticking down I'm still making myself go out and catch up with people a little just cos I feel I have to while I have the opportunity...

I guess if there were more mature souls in this part of the world maybe I'd feel a little differently but the reality is I'm inundated by baby souls here and it can get pretty draining...