Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I'm a Safety Strongbox of Deep Dark Secrets...

other people's that is! Maybe that is why I myself am such an open book because I am so used to everyone else feeling a need to hide everything...

The weird thing is though, despite feeling my belly is full of other people's confidences (for which I feel truly privileged) I no longer feel at all weighted by any of this accumulated knowledge...I think I have begun to interact with the world differently...I think it's a good thing. Maybe I feel like I exist in this safe bubble layer which occupies some place between the tangible world and the non tangible world- a layer that few people know exist let alone can perceive.

Maybe I will be strong enough to function primarily as a therapist with the other modalities just being "bonus accessories"- I have always known my innate gift is in the one on one talking...I always wanted to study psychology at uni but just never went through with it because I didn't think I could handle the reality of hearing too much of other people's crap and dealing with depressive vibes every day...

I suddenly feel coherently old in every pore of my mind body and spirit and strangely, unexcitable. Maybe I feel like a calm lake with ripples from the wind just gliding over my surface and the occasional naughty young boy trying to skim stones over me but there are no heavy boulders being thrown into my depths. (Meanwhile the lofty and disciplined rhythms of Bach's Brandenburg Concertos waft in the background).

In trivial mundane life...it was a slow day being just after the public holiday but I had some good unproductive leisure chats with a whole bunch of people and later I discovered a quaint little European facaded cottage cafe that contained a great little rustic interior...this is probably the first cafe I have found in the entire city that I really like and could spend hours just contentedly sitting in doing my own thing. They also played some electropop I am still deciding whether I like that sounded like a newer New Order which I have since discovered is a Candian indie electropop band called The Junior Boys which sounds a bit like The Postal Service...

Apart from that a grateful smile passed over my lips due to the warmth of my Mexican friends who are like being greeted with a big welcoming fire on a cold winter's day: Quiovole! :-)

7 comments:

Siddharth Mistry said...

nice one...

Unknown said...

I am a talker too. My life is mostly an open book, I have very few secrets. Of course I have a few, everyone does. But I think of myself as a threapist too. People tend to gravitate to me with their problems, and I mostly don't mind giving advice as long as they don't take advantage.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had a good day :0)
On the subject of talking, as a child I was constantly told off and punished for chattering in class. The result now is that I can't go on a silent retreat because I feel like I'm a 5 yr old who has been told off for talking!

Anonymous said...

La vida pasa y el ser, como la bellota, como el niño, o a veces como el adulto, no advierte ese movimiento, ni lo impulsa ni lo estorba.
(Liev Tolstói)

Anonymous said...

song:Lucha De Gigantes
Nacha Pop (A spanish pop band)

lyrics:

Lucha de gigantes
convierte,
el aire en gas natural
un duelo salvaje
advierte,
lo cerca que ando de entrar
En un mundo descomunal
siento mi fragilidad.

Vaya pesadilla
corriendo,
con una bestia detras
dime que es mentira todo,
un sueño tonto y no más
Me da miedo la enormidad
donde nadie oye mi voz.

Deja de engañar
no quieras ocultar
que has pasado sin tropezar
monstruo de papel
no sé contra quien voy
o es que acaso hay alguien mas aquí?

Creo en los fantasmas terribles
de algun extraño lugar
y en mis tonterías
para hacer tu risa estallar

En un mundo descomunal
siento tu fragilidad.

Deja de engañar
no quieras ocultar
que has pasado sin tropezar
monstruo de papel
no se contra quien voy
o es que acaso hay alguien más aquí?

Deja que pasemos sin miedo.

Алексис
animo!!

HappyOrganist said...

Your 'student TCM' blog is SOOO fun to read! Please keep it up (if you have time for that). That is so fun.
I'd love to study OM, but probably won't be able to. It is great fun to therefore read the perspective of an active student in school. That is awesome. Good luck honing your talent/gifts and working to develop and maintain the energy you'll need in that career. Takes a lot of energy! That's another reason I probably wouldn't be very good at it, myself. But fascinating stuff to learn, no? Marvelous. I love it.
Thank you! ;-)

Zz... said...

Siddharth- well HELLO! I think I've heard THAT name somewhere before ;)

Shan, as an old soul & 9 you're a born therapist...maybe you could get a qualification and develop that into a profession...which can fund your explorations into ayurvedic medicine...then you can move here and we can start some integrative healing empire :)

HS, I was quiet as a mouse as a child and so painfully shy. I can't say I'm not still shy but I think my present day verbal diarrhoea is due to this childhood anomaly...I'm making up for lost time! still considering doing a 20 day silent retreat when i get time...oh so challening though...

alx...LOL I don't even read English "literature" hehe you will inspire me to my greater potential obviously!

HappyOrganist, yeah I still don't know why people read this blog- that blog is by far superior entertainment value I agree! I guess people like this one cos this one is like being privy to the therapist on the therapist's couch lol.