Some Favourite Products

No, noone is paying me to endorse these products...it's cos I REALLY like them! And I just wanted to share some gems that bring me joy in daily life :)

This first one took me by surprise...I was just looking for a shampoo that was free of the nasties but didn't cost the world. Yes, it exists...

Nature's Organics BERRY BLISS 3-IN-1 ORGANIC SHAMPOO....it's free of known nasties, dirt cheap and surprisingly very good & gentle stuff at $2 a pop on sale or RRP $3.50-$3.99...shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Smells like a berry lolly - very girly, great for kids! And which girl wouldn't want their shampoo bottle to be pink with a fairy on it? LOL

The other two are ones to delight the belly, pretty much these two represent 95% of my entire processed food diet right now.

BULLA Fruit N' Yoghurt Minis (they come in 14 or 16 pack and in a great range of varieties and are supremely healthy compared to most frozen confectioneries which are too big, too sugary and have too much very rich stuff like chocolate or caramel- I tend to like any that have fruit yoghurt and vanilla/fruit ice splits like...

.GOOD STUFF!

NESTLE CLUB Mixed Berry Chocolate- I am not usually one for dark chocolate but with these incredibly delicious fruity berry bits, I can just eat LOADS of this stuff. And it's REALLY GOOD for me...if you're too skinny like me, this is my pick to get to some decent fat levels with...

VERY YUMMY!

Pic De Moi

An old friend sent me this "portrait" of me.

LOL, it's nice to know that someone knows me that well.

Too Many Cords.

That's something a Kinesiologist told me last year. I have way too many cords to other people. And I think that's just cos I have way too many people in and out of my life with a miserable ability to let any go...that makes the environment rather...unsettling.

A girlfriend of mine with a kid who is getting divorced famously declared to me recently: "I'm not ever going to have any serious relationships again".

At the ripe old age of 27, I couldn't believe she was serious: "Why"? I questioned back. "Cos I don't want people in and out of my child's life."

Clever Girl.

I find it quite ironic: this hermit needs to stop being such a social whore! LOL. Too many connections is just...Draining, especially when you're no longer a teenager :p

I need to learn to Cut Cut Cords!

My World is Spinning...

I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately half a glass of wine gets me tipsy and a whole... I can barely see/walk in a straight line.

And she leaves a trail of destruction behind...

People say "Try Everything Once"...HMMMM.

Had a great night of live music, good company, my kind of ambience and even more great live music. It was about as classy and cultured as you can get in this city anyway, a refreshing change from the usual tacky night scene.

In any case deliberating on whether I should take up my friend's invite to accompany her to a jazz class...as in dance class...haha! The thought is kind of ridiculous...Me??

In any case, like people like to say "you should try before you say you hate it".

I can already pre-empt...how about that thought where sometimes you KNOW what you like and what you DON'T. And where your talents lie or DO NOT LIE! *LOL


In any case I remember reading a horoscope lately which mentioned something about discovering a talent I didn't know I had...haha....could it be??

I doubt it.

Actually I think I discovered that already which I sort of knew I had...I have a bit of a talent for...lawnbowls(!)...there I said it. Hopefully I didn't jinx myself by speaking too soon!

In any case I can't really take that up seriously for a while yet :P

Anyway I'll see how I feel tomorrow. I love how I am so free to be spontaneous...it's been an interesting year so far...I'm liking it...creative and inspired would be the two words I'd use to describe my experience so far :)

Convalescing by The Sea

Spent the last couple of days literally 30 seconds from the beach. Now I know why you always see sanitariums set on cliffs overlooking the ocean a la The Diving Bell and The Butterfly etc.

And yes, I definitely felt I regained some long lost sanity - haha! My friend actually remarked I sounded very calm (lol, nice change from the usual strung out mental hyperactivity).

When I arrived back in the concrete jungle, I definitely felt stronger and looked more healthy- in fact when I was walking I actually felt like my aura extended 3m in all directions! (That was pretty cool ;).

The health benefits of all those negative ions and pristine air etc are pretty amazing (I won't go into the gory details but with me it was incredibly obvious - okay maybe just one- my eyeballs were actually white-not yellow or blood shot red which is how they are consistently in the city.)

In any case, on another note, it was a great learning experience for me on several levels- the one I will mention here is that I got a really great sense of what it is like to live in a small...tiny? seaside town. For health purposes, it's fantastic, however in terms of social aspect...I really don't feel comfortable when everybody knows you and like one local remarked "you can't even take a sh*t without someone knowing about it!" LOL

So anyway yeah, I'll finish out the year, travel a bit...and then there'll be decisions to make. But I'll worry about it later...

What makes me sad

at 5am in the morning...that there is such disparity in the world.

Most people are oblivious to it cos they mix in narrow socio-economic circles but me...I really have been exposed to an extreme range...

I know someone who lived under a bridge for 2 years with his family.

But then I also know entitled people my age who only got their first jobs at the ripe old age of 27 who despite having normal jobs can easily afford to live in million dollar homes...which look like they are straight out of a Better Homes and Gardens spread and are furnished accordingly.

And people who put off engagement cos they need the guy to be able to afford pink, heart-shaped diamond rings.

And people who have mud rooms.

And rooms entirely dedicated to toys- often multiple of the same type of item.

And people who know how to sail boats, ski black runs since they could walk and have snow chalets.

While some work such long hours - just to survive- and have never been on a plane.

Eh, this makes me really sad. Maybe that's why most people are oblivious-some kind of conscientious decision- they stick to their own socio-economic circles- cos feigned ignorance is easier to bear than the reality.

The Truth About Organics

They are not usually nutritional superior to conventional produce when tested scientifically.

They do taste much better especially texture wise and make me feel fuller, according to my experience.

There is one downside I noticed however. Because they ARE so pesticide free...you need to be prepared to get a little "extra protein". The bug count especially in tangled shelters of vegetables such as broccoli have way more than their fair share of bugs! Realistically, you can't wash them all out if you still intend to eat them as florettes.

In any case vegetables ARE crunchy. And I know I personally, would prefer a little extra crunch factor compared to toxic, bad tasting pesticides any day.

But if perfect looking fruit and vegetables are your concern, then you should probably stick with conventional produce :)

Okay so I saw a Hollywood Blockbuster :P

Ever since I got back to this city people couldn't stop gushing about how Avatar is so good and how they had seen it more than once and want to see it again! Some people actually suggested that I'd like it. Having seen the shorts a while back, I highly doubted it...if anything those blue creatures I found scary, reminding me of that blue lady villain in X-Men.

But in any case after everybody kept going on in this fashion and the media reports said it had sunken Titanic in takings, despite my snooty arthouse inclinations ie. doubts re James Cameron films, I folded...oh yeah, I forgot a large motivation to seeing it was after finding out it was a novelty 3D experience- who would pass up the chance to wear those funky glasses? ;)

So anyway I saw it...and I was impressed. Despite it not being my usual kind of film, the forestscapes were indeed beautiful. The colours reminded me of the iridescent colourful jellyfish I so admire in the aquarium. Bar the first few minutes and perhaps the last seemingly extraneous 20minutes all in all, a good cinematic experience and definitely worth the dosh.

In any case it was definitely better than Pedro Almodovar's Los Abrazos Rotos(Broken Embraces) which I think was definitely overhyped by critics- it definitely is not one of his finest films...the vampire dialogue was a good chuckle though :)

p.s I also saw Bright Star- good film but very intense -only if you feel like going through an emotional wringer. Keats was one cool cat...what a surprise: a Scorpio! ;) Also, very visually beautiful and sensual-typical for a Jane Campion...I still prefer The Piano though(this alone with Shine would have to be right up there for my top films, period...but especially where the soundtrack is superb!)

Party In My Tummy!

I think this is an expression I borrowed off one of the babies...in any case that's an allusion to my life :)

Had a great day (with my own company), lol.

Brought out a great album which I'm not sure why I left to gather dust for so long...

Buena Vista Social Club.

Did an hour of pretty intense yoga.

Bought lots of nice food.

Ate all sorts of nice food.

Pulled the business card design out of my ass and submitted it for printing.

I'm definitely in a new phase of life: it's the one called "stuff everybody else", it's MY life! :-D

So apart from my one responsibility to get my qualification sorted, I'm doing whatever I want whenever I want with whomever I want this year...nice, fun, freedom!

Now THIS is living :D

I can't believe it took me almost 3 decades to become enlightened :P

Starting Today...

this is the soundtrack to the rest of my life :D

yeah it's gonna be as effervescent, exciting, energetic, fun and colourful as a Bollywood film! ^^ ^^ ^^

Water Baby De-stresses!

woohoooooooooo! Rock ocean pools and swimming, swimming, swimming in the open balmy air...love! If anything this is the ONLY reason I would not want to leave this city...

In any case I really needed it - way too much pent up stress had built up...today it was like all the steam got let out of the pot in a very healthy fashion.

By night hung out with a bunch of mates(infiltrated my second ever men's poker match but this time with a female accomplice)....and the men prepared dinner- how nice!

Anyway I remembered tonight why I've always liked males...cos I can REALLY SERIOUSLY JUST BE MYSELF- Too easy! I can never ever just be me in a bunch of girls without someone hating me.

Also caught up with a serious blast from the past...which was interesting...it was kind a nice actually having the familiarity- in a time when the world seems rather chaotic and changing and foreign at an incredible pace...it is nice to have a bit of something staying stable through time.

My Fishy Friends are VINDICATED!

What a great day for all fish kind. :D

Not sure if it's the solar eclipse...the lunar really had me but I feel crap...stressed! I think it's cos in the constant striving for self-improvement, I constantly am stepping outside of comfort zones to subject myself to even more....masochism.

Cos I have this possibly false belief that uncomfortable experiences make us grow as people.

Blergh.

Zhen, Astroguru ;)

There are invariably specific times when people seek me out for advice. The most common reason people contact me of late is to find out whether their latest beau is a good match for them or not.

Okay I can't say it's a hobby I don't find absolutely fascinating.

I was seriously going to study astrology properly and do this compatibility business for fun on the side...until my astrobro(a professional) discouraged me from investing in doing so because to do all the calculations from scratch is seriously hard work and hardly worth it when with most programs these days the information is readily available with the press of a button.

In any case if you really understand astrology, it's a seriously powerful tool to understand people and predict their behaviour....saving all those wasted tears, hair pulling episodes and spilt milk. The way I came to learn astrology was very much personal...by being a fly on the wall doing what I love best, saying nothing and just observing everybody I've ever met and sticking them into my mental database. It was not until I was fairly old that I became familiar with the star signs and read all the masses of stereotypical information you find online, which is not half bad actually, lol.

In any case, people too readily dismiss astrology as a load of crap...that's cos they don't go deep enough into a chart. For example, although I have a Scorpio sun, I have so many planets in Libra that I'm a very Libran Scorpio- most people read sun signs without paying any attention to these important nuances which have a huge influence on being able to accurately size up a person's character.

Over the years I've started to fine tune this to a bit of an art, combining eastern, western astrology and numerology with my own rather large database of detailed observation. I just noticed this is one rare "fad" that has been able to withstand the test of time with me...I doubt I can ever get bored-it's too much fun! :)

Hermit on a Hill.

One of my friends said you should just go be a Hermit on a Hill(I think she meant Mountain!)

In any case would it really be so bad?

I'm sure Enlightenment would come quicker amidst such peace and I would feel more at home amongst the clouds rather than in vacuous modern society. But then, unfortunately, one cannot live on AIR.

The thing I find amusing is that although I see this very peaceful circumstance as some kind of Utopia, this would constitute LIVING HELL for many people I know, lol.

Like they say, One Person's Pleasure is another Person's Worst Nightmare.

Out of the Blue...

with Blu Ray! LOL how hilarious, I won one...a wireless home theatre system...I find myself chuckling with these little ironies the Universe throws my way...

at Christmas it was a bit of the buzz word with the tech-gadget enthusiast relos...while luddite moi was asking- "what's that?"

Anyway I guess I should take it out of the box and see if I can work it, at least...

lol the last time I won something randomly was a looong time ago: a whole heap of cleaning sponges-lol.

There is Creativity In Angst

Wow. I am (unusually) quite impressed by myself. I haven't tried to graphically design in a veeeery loooong time...except that now it's...needed. I had a great super talented friend working on designs for me however she wasn't able to manifest my creative vision, so Miss Lazy Ass had no choice but to try and do it herself with very limited technical ability. It is just amazing how user unfriendly programs like Photoshop really are...how the hell do I even draw a shape outline?!! SHEESH.

In any case with some little tricks I was able to fudge "the look" for mockups and hopefully my techny friend can help me convert this into something professionally printer friendly.

In any case I just have one last design w/ variations to knock out...and I am very very pleased aesthetically with what I've managed to produce in a couple hours considering my significant designer deficiencies and limitations right now.

Which leads me to conclude, there is great creativity that can be harnessed out of Angst. Since it seems like I will be this way for AWHILE, I am contemplating picking up a canvas and paintbrush...hell, maybe even charcoals and pastels! LOL, it would be VERY VERY COOL if I somehow managed to un-excavate the long lost "artist" in me. The drought needs to be broken damn it-

Come Glorious Wellspring, Arise from this Barren Earth!

Z.

edit: so I have a couple of designs...in fact they're actually pretty nifty! only trouble is my indecision...I tried surveying others but nobody can agree! I guess it all comes down to personal preference...anyway going to visit the print place tomorrow...maybe they can look through my designs- sheesh, at this rate maybe I should start a portfolio!

Well I like pups...

But I can't have one. So I got one of all of these...lol impulse buy- I couldn't not take them home with me after I spied them walking in the grocery store...

I'm glad I have young nieces and nephews-makes for a great alibi to cover for the child in me-lol!

Anyway I can be an adult in the afternoon with a very civilised afternoon tea- I'm such a dero-how quaint! Adulthood is overrated, anyway.

In Two Worlds...

lol, not 1)Fantasy and 2)Reality for once ;)

It was the most strange day. Like Two Polar Opposites. In the morning I was in a house of one of the wealthy snobby areas surrounded by REAL art, Sipping LapSang SuChong Tea, talking Germaine Greer, Persian food, Angel Place, exhibitions, Batik Prints and Horticulture and about the different timbre of European vs Japanese pianos.

In the afternoon I found myself by a gorge. In the most wonderful paradise of cliffs and mangrove swamps. I had no idea this existed so close to the city. I am glad!

By evening I was in a bustling cosmopolitan eatery not unlike Asia with two of the biggest yobs ;) It was so hilarious actually my friend who had been with me in location 1 actually said one of them had such a thick accent she couldn't even understand him-LOL! In any case, I was starving and a bowl of ramen I had craved was THE BEST version of wonton noodle soup I have had.

After that we kicked on to one of the dingiest pubs that frequent this city and had interesting conversations revolving around spirituality and understanding the human psyche over a couple of glasses of Bulmer's cider(blergh too sweet!) Unbeknownst to us it then became karaoke night which although I thought "omg I am in Hicksville" there were two or three really good performances and classic songs where I actually was enjoying myself...but it quickly deteriorated into an ugly display of bold and somewhat obnoxious untalenteds toppling around on stage and if they actually were singing at all, they were incredibly out of tune-arghhh! After a couple of my favourite classic songs had been BUTCHERED...that was enough to call it a day!

All in all a disparate and tiring but very enjoyable "variety is the spice of life" kinda day filled with good company and very interesting and satisfying conversations :)

Mincing Words.

I coined a new term "Fruitcase" today. I think my brain meant a cross between a fruitcake and a nutcase. I blame it on long term sleep deprivation (for the error and also for being one) :P

2010 Resolutions.

I never really make these but since I thought of some good ones I thought I'd document:

1. To gather no new neuroses.
2. To Make Linear Progression. eg to stop planting little sprouts in all directions and gaining nothing fruitful from them, rather to persevere with things and focus my energies so that little things become bigger and better!
3. Improve my Social Intelligence.

I think they're doable, with a little EFFORT and discipline!

I just did a gym junkie day....umpteen weight machines, rowing machine, bike, swimming....wow strangely despite feeling tired and out of breath BEFORE, considering how unfit I am I was very surprised at how much energy to funnel into exercise I actually had and even more, how I pulled up after- not too achey! well not yet ANYHOW...Exercise truly is the best for stuck liver qi-herbs are nowhere near as potent as a good cardio workout! Anyway now I'm energised and dopey sleepy. Just had a pretty satisfying meal with a friend too. Contented :)

No Longer Plagued.

wow! Really I have some nifty helpers up above...in a rather miraculous turn of events, due to this divine kind of assistance, I was enabled to let go a weighty burden that has been bothering me intensely...now my spirit can be free and somewhat unencumbered again :)

Moving forward, reinvigorated, qi no longer stuck...THANK GOD!

You know life could be better when you...

have some pretty exciting happenings but have absolutely noone suitable to share the privileged information with!

In any case getting attached tends to be quite a burden(especially for free spirits), I'm actually really glad that there is very little that I am tied to.

It is so hard to self contain but I think I'm turning over a new leaf...I always blab way too much way too early willy nilly-these days I realise confidence is something to be earned and appreciated, I've decided I'm going to enter a much more self-contained era :)

I feel like I'm Kicking and Screaming...

To not be consumed by the majority order. To just have the freedom to be ME.

Music is my Salvation.

Dream Sleep

I feel disoriented. That was the first night I had more than 3 hours sleep continuous, in probably 2 weeks.

In any case, I was in a very different part of the world. It was cold, wet, overcast, foggy and had fascinatingly foreign vegetation....very invigorating!

I've recently been suspecting I've been on local shores a bit too long...and it has been a bit intimidating the thought that I have absolutely no idea where I will be in 5 years time. Hopefully after I traverse 3 continents in the coming year or two the mystery and anxiety of not knowing will be closer to nil.

Apart from that a much needed ME day...kid FREE! (I have recently discovered a very handy sanity-salvaging skill in my repertoire: how to tune kids out ;)

As I've piked on a girly weekend up the coast(me...antisocial??), I have a luxurious day to ME ME ME of absolutely nothing on my schedule but to veg on couch. Yay :) Consisting of 3 DVDs:
The Lives of Others (Das Leben der Anderen), Into the Wild, The Beat my Heart Skipped (De battre mon coeur s'est arrêté)

Happy Watching and Happy Meeeeeeeeeeeee! NEED.

p.s if you enjoy reading this is in all honesty the best written and most interesting blog post I have ever come across :)

So another year rolls around, and a Blue Moon too...

But I'm not sure what to think cos I am way too sleep deprived. Cos my crazy neighbour smokes at 4am in the morning. And day in day out, over time...it's become a MAJOR problem. These days I don't even bother to fully unpack my rolly bag cos I need to literally couchsurf just so that I can get a couple hours sleep at night time. My sister calls me a backpacker I am so ready to up and go at any given time. It's pretty bad. One more year of this.

I was so exhausted when I got to my folks I didn't even bother walking to the foreshore for the fireworks, I just curled up on the couch in front of the TV(that is very unme)...but I just had absolutely no energy left.

Anyway, hopefully you've been having a better time. May this decade be much better than tha last(fingers crossed!) Cheers.