City Living 101

Breathe. Just BREATHE.

The Procrastination Catch 22

You don't want to do something- it's a chore, so you keep putting it off and waste your time in idle distraction...which leaves you less leeway to complete the deed. Deadlines loom over you like a menacing shadow... having festered, the shadow then begins to devour you crunching head first and you are thus officially trapped in a state of High Stress-which in itself results in paralysis...ARGHHHHHH!

Need. To Break. The Cycle!!!!

*lol

Amusing Email Exchange...

I sent S an email entitled "arghhhhh please save me from plastic people and a plastic society!!!"

with one liner content: "honestly, i think I live in the world's most vacuous and shallow city outside L.A!"

Her reply was Gold.

"wish I could but I don't think it is much better anywhere you go. There is something inherently wrong with most people. Go hermit, it's the only way to be."

I so love the assuredness and certainty with which that bolded sentiment comes across from her.

And, I agree with the last line...I had already decided my new strategy: people avoidance...it's a cop out but it's the only way to survive this kind of environment day in, day out.

I am definitely going to work on my own consciousness though and hopefully find more conscious people amidst all the chaos here.

Diagnosis: Merinthophobia!

Cool new word my mate taught me.

We were trying to diagnose my easy-to-feel-suffocated issues...

Throw in some definite claustrophobia...

and possibly some demophobia...

or maybe I am really quite normal...I just need more than the average share of space and time to myself...and am *just a bit* anti-social too...lol

Why is it most girls strike me as BIMBOS?

So. I'm sitting here procrastinating. I don't feel like leaving the house. I was supposed to meet a bunch of girls 20 minutes ago...

This is my typical antisocial behaviour when I've had enough social contact for the week...

So I sit here listening to explosions in the sky procrastinating...

Some excerpts of conversations that have led up to tonight(one of my gfs is leaving)...

Me: Can I rock up in jeans and thongs?
Her: Can't you just dress properly, for once??! (sigh of exasperation).
Me: So can I?

Her other girlfriend: Come on, you gotta dress up we're all dressing up! (okay maybe I imagined the *squeal* that followed)
Me: I can't I only own normal clothes or work clothes.
Her other girlfriend: (sigh of indignation) Go get yourself some clothes!!!

Girrrrls...(roll my eyes).

Shame on you, Sennheiser!

So since my IPOD earphones busted, the Sennheiser ones I ordered from the States finally arrived.

I had already read reviews so I sort of had an idea of what to expect...but I still wanted to know for myself anyway...

And in any case they were a very cheap $13USD...compared to here where the same model - CX-300 - are selling for $100AUD!

Let me say, I am SO RELIEVED I did not pay any more for them...at a standstill they are okay, the sound is a little tinny but the slightest movement of the wire and it is like someone is tapping a microphone in your ears or there is a blustery wind blowing through a microphone...a reviewer quite aptly stated..."they are just like airplane earphones"...

definitely if your IPOD earphones break just get a new pair...being such a Germanophile, I am so disappointed that my first experience with this much reputed German brand was such a non-event.

And never again will I be so cheap and neglect my ears...I notice good audio is just too important to me having grown up on quality European sound...it's not possible to not notice BAD SOUND! :p

This is why I can be a Loner...very easily.

In the just me world it's always *sunshine and rainbows*^^!

Negativity always arises from my external environment particularly interactions with others...it is rare to find people who are genuinely positive and happy all the time.

Which is probably why M is always the person I turn to when I need to cleanse myself of negative vibes that have rubbed off from these inevitable interactions...Cheers mate :)!

This Morning.

(By SMS)

Friend to Zhen: "I thought in my subconscious that earth had been swallowed by an orange monster this morning!"

Zhen to friend: "yeah, I thought in my conscious that Martians were paying a visit".

All washed up...so depressing!

Someone who first met me several years ago was recounting when she first saw me, and comparing the vision to me now. Basically the idea that came across is that I'm SO PAST MY PRIME :P

blergh...it does mention this in ancient chinese texts...basically the ancients reckoned a woman is "washed up" at 7X4 years...

*sigh* lol, now I need to start liking that phrase "ageing gracefully"...

on a happier note, I saw a pretty enjoyable cool film today...(500) days of Summer. If you like my kind of music and film...and quirky characters...definitely go see it! The SOUNDTRACK is pure awesomeness...

A Brief Observation...

For the most part, the outside world works quite well when you're in inner harmony! *^^*

Cultural Fencesitting

I've been having this horrible niggling feeling lately...one of cultural fencesitting discomfort...which is idiotic because it is obviously something I will never be able to resolve having grown up in an environment and culture disparate to my ethnicity.

Maybe I will feel better if I get to know more Eurasians, even though I'm not one...cos really, I feel 50-50. Or at least when I am with asians, I feel Caucasian relative...and when I am with Caucasians I feel asian...It's almost like I choose to be difficult on purpose...I will always tend to the opposite/minority way.

In any case I went to a full asian house for dinner tonight- big meal lots of dishes chopsticks bowls soup all gathered around a circular table...the predominant language was something asian...wow I felt it was all so exotic and I felt disconnected but at the same time that there was something comfortably familiar...

arghhhhh.

Buzz Day!

I was told Buzz Day(for Diabetes) has existed for at least 10 years but somehow I never knew about it...not like Daffodil Day(for Cancer) and Red Nose Day(for SIDS) and Genes for Jeans Day(for genetic disease).

In any case, I think this means the marketing people haven't been very effective, which is a shame considering how prevalent it is, how many people die from it and what a huge public health burden it is.

In any case I liked my little Bee...

SMS: Toyboy

Vices...

I NEED to give up chocolate- it's so bad for me yet I HOARD it and not only that, I don't just get the cheap stuff...the other day I went out and bought more even though I still have a lot in the cupboard and I'm supposed to be giving up...

I spend way too much of my little precious spare time on the internet in addition to necessity, to the detriment of my body, especially my sore tired red dry eyes and blurry vision - deprived of sufficient rest...

WHY??!

And I love icecream but actually I'm allergic to milk and would be much better off to give dairy a miss...

What are the vices that you find are so hard to give up? Even though in your reasonable mind you know once you do, you'll feel much better!

On another note, lots of people around me seem to be on some crazy diet with the vegan-vegetarian movement leading the way...I've started moving this way again...my latest favourite food fad is sprouted beans....mmmm and they make your insides feel so good after- I think they have a very alkaline effect on the body...

Apparently I am like this woman...

Or at least when a friend read this she immediately thought of me...

awww, how sweet ;)

Zhen takes on "the doctor"

Bring it On!!!

A Self Testimonial, lol.

So I don't know how ethical it is to essentially write a self-testimonial, but considering I am not charging for my services yet and almost illegal for me to practise anyhow I conclude it is ethical, it's just an honest reflection anyway. Although I sure have faith in my trade, sometimes if I think too much about it, it is still pretty amazing just how efficacious and immediate it really is...

In what ways are you superficial?

Most people are superficial visually, they need things to look good. I can be like that but cos I don't really pay much attention to people's faces cos I'm usually lost in my own thoughts, it's not really significant.

I am actually very bad with faces- I can rarely remember people by faces, or names either for that matter...

The strange thing that stands out most to me and is most distinctive about a person is a VOICE. I am totally, shamefully superficial in that there are nice people out there who I just can't stand and cannot LIKE cos their voice is horribly grating! There are other people who have very pretty voices...Dina is a stand out for me :)

I just remembered that is one of my strange quirks. Even with people I know, it is hard for me to recall their faces but their voices I can summon into my head straight away...

is there anybody else like me who is audio dominant rather than visual dominant? Are there any other interesting ways in which you are superficial and quick to judge whether or not you like a person...my other thing would probably be dress sense...I can't stand tacky dressers or some of the weird fads like tights under hotpants in the middle of Winter...I guess I immediately think "how idiotic!"and think these people must be lacking upstairs...

a funny thing...I got invited to join an elitist society. haha I think this is the first time in a looong time! I'm still thinking about it. I kind of have a love-hate relationship with the concept of exclusivity...maybe I will join if I think there is real potential of benefit to me some how.

What is Rationality?

asked the novice.

"Irrationality", replied his master.

"What is Irrationality?" asked the novice.

"Rationality", replied his master.

I gotta admit I do get my kicks from a bit of (subtle) Subversion...

I was buying herbs today and the girly girl who serves me that I regularly chat to each week has been on my case about boyfriends for about the past 3.

This is probably why for the past 3 I have subconsciously entered the shop in ultra tomboy mode- jeans, sneakers, a hoodie or polar fleece top, and incredibly unkempt hair(well I really do need a haircut desperately but just haven't had time to get around to getting one).

She commented "you spend a lot on herbs"...and I replied, "yeah food, herbs and occasionally cds- that is where ALL my money goes..."

She pinched up my polar fleece between her fingers and said "you don't spend on clothes?"

To which I replied, (kicking up a sneaker to show her), "No, I'm not a Girl!"

Then she fingered my earrings and said "but you have pierced ears?"

To which I replied, "yeah that's only cos when I was a kid and on a visit to asia my sister kicked up a stink to get hers done and my mum made me as well cos it was cheap as a deal".

"oh".

Finally she gave me some advice: "you know if you bought some clothes and dress more like a girl and a little bit of makeup, you could get a boyfriend."

To which I replied "No thanks, I'm here just to study and then I'm outta here! I don't want to get tied down"...to which she looked completely discombobulated...even though I'm pretty sure I told her that last week AND the week before! LOL.

It is so interesting how completely on another planet the typical female lives to me and how in certain cultures and societies gender stereotypes are so entrenched...in any case, although I've always been on the lazy, disinterested can't be stuffed side in respect to aesthetic presentation beyond practical functional decency, I can't say I don't get a bit of cheeky satisfaction being a little subversive on purpose when presented with these super girly girls who are so discomforted by my lack of care and concern factor.

Apart from that, it's been a pretty interesting week with some interesting revelations and crazy ideas...

One of the interesting discussions this week was why females typically dislike me and always will be the ones, if anybody, to screw me over in some way. The conclusion apart from the obvious "cannot relate/lack of shared interests" perspective and that women can be BITCHES, is that women are typically incredibly insecure and lack self-esteem so they don't particularly like females who are confident and comfortable in their own non cosmetically enhanced skin...anyway I'm glad to finally really understand that it has nothing to do with me personally...and everything to do with other people's insecurities.

I'm still in "blah" retrograde mode- which was fun cos one of my psychic friends picked up on this and sent me a nice msg and I must have received her good vibes cos I was feeling a whole lot better today...although still retrograde...also got the exam back that I was feeling incredibly uncomfortable about...what a freaking surprise...I actually topped it!!! It is so strange - for the last year or so it seems all the exams I felt really bad about I ended up doing really well in and all the ones I felt good about I ended up doing mediocre for me.

In Retrograde...

It's so weird it's like my astrology always really corresponds to life...things have been held back, slowed down, not flowing smoothly lately...whenever I notice this I check my astrological influences (to my specific details) and 9 times out of 10 there is some major retrograde influence happening...

LOL, who else is a Conspiracy Theorist...

I was once a Latin Nerd...

And other random facts!

1. I don't remember much Latin but I do remember it was the most useful thing about high school. I do remember the first line of a passage from Virgil's Aeneid
Sed non idcirco flammae atque incendia vires
... Don't ask me what the hell it means...let's just say it is quite dramatic and it sounds and looks very cool...

2. I can't activate cigarette lighters with the little rolling dials...this can be rather inconvenient and come across as incompetent when trying to perform flame requiring therapies...(note to self...invest in a whole heap of push type lighters when I see them...)

3. I am a herbs nerd...the reason I know as much as I do about them is cos I regularly guinea pig on myself and get much pleasure from their interesting smells and textures and by throwing together a bunch and brewing them in a pot. (I feel like a modern day witch but just with a very small cauldron.) Also, maybe the Latin-ness of the pharmacological names turns me on...

4. My other major hobby is interrogatinginvestigating people. People are fascinating to observe.
Along with rocks and minerals, animals, and foreign cultures.

5. I like to write and don't actually talk much relative...the former is energizing, the latter can be draining. I don't often get to talk much in real life. I find I tend to fill the male listening position when talking to most other females. I guess that is why I prefer the company of males...cos I actally get to talk to my heart's content!

6. When I'm bad it typically manifests as spending way too much in a music store...

7. I'm a Monkey in the Chinese zodiac and fit the stereotype- I live for FUN! I love cracking jokes, playing games, pulling pranks and people actually take offense cos I'm often laughing at their expense...but at least I will join in with you when you laugh at me. I'm also ever curious about anything and everything, am impatient with people who are slow on uptake and love learning new things. I'm HIGH mental maintenance...most people bore me before too long...I tend to go through "phases"...especially with FOOD...Next!

8. Just to add as to why I am a Genuine Nerd(Nerds are cool as opposed to Geeks ;)...I've competed in a chess tournament...but only cos nobody else knew how to play and I had to fill the final position so that my friend-a real chess nerd-could actually field a team. Yeah, I can be nice like that ;)

9. And oh so narcissistic ;)...cool, H.O that makes two of us!

Do you need cheering up?

This has quickly become one of my all time favourite clips...thanks Shan!

Many times, women can really get me...DOWN!!! (Sometimes I really think someone needs to invent the bitchy and backstabbing woman protective suit to prevent sucking dry of happy auras LOL)

But at least watching this clip for the zillionth time makes me feel better :)

Hungry Hippo...

Lately, I feel constantly hungry...and just want to eat just about everything in sight healthy or not...not sure if it is the chill in the weather or I'm expending way too much energy, or that I'm recovering and hence my digestive system has decided it can take on more...in any case I was pondering whether I should seriously aim to GET FAT! But honestly my food bills are already ginormous.

Random thought: I decided if I must stay on in the city for a bit maybe I'll take on some tutoring in my field just for a bit of variety- I think it'll actually be really fun...like a 1st year subject...after that it's just all too hard...LOL

In the company of...Boys!

I'm pretty easily corrupted. LOL did something a bit naughty today...haha it was fun, incredibly satisfying ;)! Takes me back...

I am so not beyond enjoying a bit of puerile delinquency...give me a partner in crime and I'll so totally lose the responsible mature matron deal at the drop of a hat!!! It gets boring being good all the time...in any case I think a bit of delinquency in the name of fun is a necessary part of the culture here, LOL!

The Consequences of Being....Relaaaaxed.

Basically, it means all your qi is flowing smoothly and you end up tapping into that "Being" that you usually ignore to keep up with the hectic-ness of crazy modern life.

So anyway I've noticed, when one is really relaxed and all the qi is flowing...you have very high probabilities of tapping into inexplicable hidden talents...

for example, today...I thought I'd see my cousin or possibly visualised him just before I actually saw him! LOL, with the chances of us meeting pretty miniscule since we're both not usually anywhere in that vicinity on a Tuesday afternoon!!!

Anycase I'm enjoying myself...I'm not looking forward to getting my paper back tomorrow though...fingers and toes crossed!