Haha! I looooooved this.
Good on him I say...from someone who has a track record of being susceptible to troubled people, with major difficulties in being able to "take a stand".
I too am sick of being manipulated, and taken advantage of by depressed and suicidal people.
On a few occasions now I have been so drawn in, so worried that if I didn't step up and "Save them" they would finally get the courage to pull the plug...and how could I then live with myself?
WELL. Now I am much wiser...I have noticed, Depressed people ARE Selfish, they can't help it cos they're stuck in a little personal microcosm of hell they can't see past. But it's our choice as to whether we let ourselves be drawn into the drama and allow ourselves to fall prey to emotionally blackmail.
We can be a good friend, an open ear, a pole to lean on, a second opinon, a free reservoir...but often the line gets blurry and there comes a point where one has to draw a big black one to preserve our own sanity and right to happiness and peace. (Usually this is when you start to notice that your whole life has been consumed by theirs...)
At the end of the day, if another adult decides to pull the plug on their own life, it is not something they are allowed to shirk reponsibility for and slap onto someone else. Neither should we be so deluded to think that we are responsible for another adult's life and that it is our duty as mere mortals to "rescue people" intent on taking their own life.
On a daily life update...it's cold, all I seem to think about is food, and my stomach is a bit like a bottomless pit. The next 2-3 weeks for me are full on, so on the proviso that I'm keeping my discipline with study, I'll be a bit....scant and inattentive online...apologies in advance. Thanks for the messages though!
Cheers :)
THE GO-BETWEENS/The Clarke Sisters(Live)
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OH. MY. GOD. WHERE...HAVE I BEEEEEEEEEEEEEN??!! Somehow in the last few
years a whole heap of The Go-Betweens stuff has finally emerged on Youtube.
Fanta...
10 years ago
9 comments:
nice blog n thk for sharin
That's terrible!
I see what you're saying about depression being related to selfishness. I should write on this myself someday if I really want to share my opinion. However, it is a common misconception that suicidal people are trying to be manipulative. Probably most of the time (if not All the time), they are NOT trying to manipulate anyone.
As a friend and health-professional (as you are and are going to be to those around you), yes you do need to keep your distance (in a way) to preserve your own sanity and mental/emotional health. So it's fine not to get 'sucked' in (don't let yourself be used).
But not everyone (that you have described) is being manipulative. (and even if some of them are, it is probably not conscious - and they still just need some help (maybe not help from you. you certainly can't do it all) And hopefully your post is just evidence of you recognizing the limits of what you can and can't do (professionally, I guess. I mean, you are not trained to be a psychotherapist, right?)).
Have a good weekend!
Oh I have no qualms with professional aspect and yes we're not especially qualified but the shrink part is inevitably part of it...I'm talking about personal manipulation which involves you unnecessarily and is straight out no nonsense manipulation eg: "if you don't ____ I will kill myself" is a good example.
I think due to your church environment you get sheltered alot(this is what my daughter of a pasteur friend tells me anyhow).
Back to this man, it was extreme for sure, but I think it was a good example and he did fall 8m just to bounce into a big air mattress. Think of all the emergency services diverted that could have gone to help others in need if he had just been man enough to a) go get some help or b) do it in private so the whole world wouldn't have to stop for him.
So anyway I like how this man for having such strong convictions to do what he did in order to make a point highlighting the fact that no people who threaten suicide are not always true "victims"...some just selfish and cowardly especially the ones who open fire on a crowd and then shoot themselves so they don't have to live with the guilt or face the consequences...
sorry i meant "pastor", the germs are obviously on the brain...LOL
“Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
I am afraid, dear Cherry Lane, that sometime you are as a novel, "Think no one can read you, but I can", And I know that you feel a great deal and the sense of powerlessness you feel before the great divide that is life and death can be overwhelming even when only seen in the actions of another. I know, because every death does diminish me as it did John Donne, and I can see a bit of myself in even the most desperate of situations, and I know then that when I grieve, I grieve for me...
I agree. I think suicide is the single most selfish act one can commit. Severe depression and chemical imbalances adide, suicide is taking the easy way out and leaving everyone else to clean up your mess.
Not that everyone doesn't think about it from time to time, but to actually go through with it is cowardly. I have known a few people who have taken this route and have seen first hand the devastation it causes.
And I agree...If the guy wants to jump, let him.
Get back to study and stop bludging! P came over to play poker at Darling Harbour with S and the usual gang. He lost early and had to buy in twice :)
MsCL, the shrink part is part of it (the most interesting part in my opinion - since I think healing comes from the relationship more than from the needles(or any given therapy)).
I'm glad you think I'm sheltered. We should compare notes sometime....
;-)
kidding (..sort of.)
Nah - sheltered is good.
although.. for all your experience you repeatedly allude to, you also admit to being naive, yourself, in some situations. ;-P
So. there. ;-D
[and for the record. I don't know what you mean by sheltered. But in my book, growing up with an alcoholic parent who practically encouraged promiscuity (really kinda weird if you ask me) is not super sheltered].
But yes.. I'll admit to 'sheltered' and 'nerd.' ;-)
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