*phew! What an interesting psychological insight the last few days has been.
Having been acquainted with a "VIP" has been one seriously interesting experience...really quite astounding in many respects...now I understand what they mean when someone has "X factor"...this guy had it all: good looks, brains, great disposition, reputation...
although I was somewhat aware of this, I only stayed "wowed" for about 2 seconds: at the end of the day- maybe cos I'm an old soul- I don't stay "wowed" for long....at the end of the day we are all people- some are endowed with more gifts than others but generally we all balance out- we are good at some things and bad at some things, some of us have luck in the looks department, some with a kind heart and humanitarian nature, some in the brains department....in any case maybe I am quick to see past exterior surfaces to the immaterial...the only thing that can really wow me is when I come across really white souls in human beings....as they are so rare they immediately jump out at me on a psychic level and I confuse them with having seen "angels".
In any case, despite knowing I was in the midst of some kind of Genius Casanova, it still didn't fail to really surprise me when I witnessed the tangible effect this guy had on the average female...amazing...if only I could bottle that for sale I'd be a freaking zillionaire!!!
And on a personal level it was also thoroughly disappointing as well because usually very reliable women in my life were suddenly reduced to a pile of flirtatious, gushing (and even jealous)mush...I think today I never felt more invisible...In any case, that hurt....for some strange reason it is very hard for a male to hurt me, but with girlfriends, I am incredibly sensitive to rejection. I guess that is typical for me...my life has always been so back to front...my mindset and behaviour is absolutely nothing like two X chromosomes, which is probably why guys have always made for the more natural, easy friends with little conscientious effort on my part, and if anything, females are the foreign un-understandable species that strike fear in my heart!
So much for girl friends. If there's anything I've learnt is that they're not the most reliable species once someone with a Y chromosome gets in the picture. Of course that could be gender stereotyping but it just doesn't happen that much with guys in my case for whatever reason...maybe guys still feel a need to be nice and polite to me cos I'm a girl?
Whatever, I'll take whatever decency I can get. I'm still holding out for my standard of friend, while still being able to retain my carefree and responsible singledom. Although I have to admit, the kind of high maintenance 100% loyalty friendship I am used to and so am always on a quest for (which typically is a standard that the majority of people only give to partners), my relationship abstinence undertaking while I study can sometimes feel like a bit of a challenge....Good friends that aren't partners who reciprocate equally large efforts are so, so rare.
Perhaps it is a bleak outlook like my old soul friend said..."you are born alone, you die alone. Don't expect too much from anybody. The only person you can rely on is yourself". By the same token, I have also learned valuable lessons in establishing barriers and not giving so much of myself.
Life is one big school of hard knocks. But an irrepressibly beautiful journey full of delicious twists and surprises where miracles and wishes can come true too :)
THE GO-BETWEENS/The Clarke Sisters(Live) - OH. MY. GOD. WHERE...HAVE I BEEEEEEEEEEEEEN??!! Somehow in the last few years a whole heap of The Go-Betweens stuff has finally emerged on Youtube. Fanta...
4 years ago