Newsflash, Newsflash, Newsflash!!!

My blog has MUSIC!!! Technically, I'm not slacking off, cos I need music in the background...to be able to study ;)

anyway have a listen and tell me what you think...it's a pretty random bunch of stuff (if there's any duds it's cos I threw in a handful of unheard songs by artists I like for me...)

I like so many different types of music you can probably understand why I've been accused of schizophrenia before! *LOL*

Happy, Happy, Happy :-)))

In my humble opinion, this is THE BEST INVENTION since the internet!!! *hops up and down with animated vigour*

P.S...can any geeky types tell me whether having the playlist on all day will consume all my internet download?

edit: it does...but not a whole lot unless you really leave it on playing for a while. However one reason to consider getting unlimited download!

Walking into the Dragon's Den

I am the snake compelled by the snake charmer's flute...I can feel myself walking into the Dragon's Den in full knowledge that a gruesome "final encounter" awaits but can't stop myself....

I know I should be beading sweat and feeling a nervous flip flop in my guts...

Even though my conscious mind is aware of this I'm still waiting for the adrenalin to kick in with an instinctual fight or flight response.

Somehow, I am desensitized, passive, indifferent.

*********

In any case, that time of year has rolled around again where Duty Calls and I must retire from the blogging world for an extended period...

So Ja Mata Ne from me, Take Care and Happy Blogging! :-)

By all means, Dig Yourself into a Hole but Don't Just Stay There!

I'm getting frustrated with all the negative doomsday sayers and depressed people that abound.

To these people, I'm just as tired of you as you are...I don't care how you achieve it but these are fundamental to your own happiness:

1. Love and Value Yourself
2. Look after yourself and treat yourself as you would your personal angel.
3. How shitty your life is is a large part to do with how much you are willing to accept- that which you can't change so be it, but that which you have any ability to change and improve - what are you doing still sitting there?!

Don't just accept what life hands you...challenge it, test it, work around it...why so closed minded?!

Trash those limited beliefs and start helping yourself-there is only so much you can rely on others...it all starts with you willing your life to be better and by implementing tangible changes to make it happen!!! One small step at a time...

okay, rant over...that just came steaming out!

I'm so glad for the few positive happy people in my life...or else I might just go insane!

This is my new resolution to myself:

"I refuse to accept any more negative people into my life. I emphatically 100% will not associate or invest any more energy in negative types outside of a purely professional scope, unless they're gonna make a concerted effort to get outta the hole!"

Cos in the end A Happy Island is better than a Miserable Metropolis...Anyday!

What I love about Scorpios- RESILIENCE - like a Phoenix, people with Scorpion traits arise time and time again from the smoking ashes...new and reinvented...you can't keep them down...they might trip into a pothole from time to time but soon enough they'll brush themselves off, and pull themselves out quickly enough so as not to wait for the pothole to collapse under their weight into a gaping dark chasm...

And Saggitarians are cool too cos they're Positive Glass Half-full people!

Pervs.

I wasn't going to mention it but the topic kind of cropped up...

my girlfriend rocked up today in a super-short skirt and some pretty high high heels...

me: that's a really short skirt!
her: yeah.
me: oh well at least you've got leggings, would you dare wear it without leggings?
her: oh yeah!

haha...I remember last year (the season of the micro mini) trying on the longest available skirt in the shop, examining it riding up my ass and thinking shit it's short! and at 26, that I was totally way too old to be wearing it!

So anyway now that I've gotten used to just how short skirts get, I no longer think their wear should be confined to younger age groups...but...I still wouldn't wear one in public! It's not actually that I'm being old fogey conservative or prudish...cos really, I have no qualms wearing minimal clothes in the privacy of my own home (provided there is a point: when the piece of material doesn't even cover your ass when you sit I'm not quite sure the point...you may as well walk around naked, which again, in the privacy of my own home, no issue, as long as it's Comfortable! ;)

The reason why I would never be seen in public in THAT short a skirt is plain and simple...Pervs! Basically, I think when you dress like that realistically, you're just asking for Trouble...

For me this whole modesty issue is also grounded in desiring a certain level of respect. And basically I don't think that's possible if all men notice is some ass walking around on legs...I'm not BLAMING them as such- I know it's all about their biological makeup blah blah they're visual, governed by their nether regions and have a weakness for low cut tops, long hair, short skirts and high heels etc etc...

It just gets kind of tiring (and perhaps I speak for at least some of my gender here)...this total objectification of women...if you just get whistled at instead of spoken to doesn't that sometimes make you feel just like a dog?!

...At least in regional areas you're a bit more tolerant cos the population is small, and single men rarely see any single women...but here, the population is a lot bigger so you get "perved on" or at least stared at a lot more frequently....even from my personal experience with my male friends- you can't even have a concentrated conversation with them cos their eyes are constantly flicking back and forth checking out every single female that passes within their line of vision!! The saddest part also is alot of men are actually "attached" but they just can't help themselves! :P

Sometimes when this kind of behaviour is more overt, it leads me to believe that a lot of people in relationships aren't actually happy in their relationship- rather it is a "safety holding pen" until they find someone better...(and that's 90% honesty speaking as opposed to jadedness.)

I know if you can be more attractive it has it's advantages- you sure get treated better when you dress better etc but I don't appreciate brainless superficiality in any form so being a subversive creature of nature...I deliberately dress down to avoid being a voluntary conspirator... A good experiment actually to illustrate just how superficial people are by nature is to go deal with the same people a) looking your worst b) looking your best...results are astounding!!!!

In the end though it's about personal choice- if dressing better gives you the self confidence you otherwise lack and you enjoy the attention or being stared at and are willing to put up with all this kind of crap than Happy Days to You!

I can only imagine how annoying it must be for women who look like Barbie Dolls...how hard must it be for them to get any respect let alone ever be taken seriously or have anyone believe that they might actually possess a brain?!

In the end dressing down deliberately or never dressing up makes sense because you don't want to attract anybody that is so superficial and shallow they only like you for being presentable on the external at that particular moment not for who you really are, and would likely want to dump you as soon as they see your normal reality at 6am in the morning sans makeup, blow dried hair and freshly brushed teeth ;)

Finally, this post brings to mind this woman in New Zealand lol.

Adventures in the city

So. I spent the entire weekend sitting on my ass in a seminar...but it was surprisingly enjoyable...and my brain juices were all stimulated and flowing and excited...inspired... so that's what I call a GOOD TIME! LOL does that make me a "N-yerd"?! (You so gotta see American Splendour if you wanna know the origin of that expression!)

Anyhow after being on my ass enclosed all day I decided to take a long protracted wander exploration in the search of some fish and chips...weird sudden craving cos really I don't really eat fish- I think I went close to 20 years completely fish free before I started it again (in the interests of good health of course!) It all started with a trip to the fish market when I was 3 or 4 - I saw all the glass eyed fish and asked my Pa if they were sleeping? When I found they weren't I felt very empathic with them and went on a fish boycott.

It continued when I saw some cutesy Japanese cartoon pencil case that said "Fish are my friends not my food!" and I stuck to it faithfully before I started getting all into diet therapy...

Asides aside, I ended up walking through a part of the city I'd never walked before and it was nice checking out all the old architecture and imagining picture perfect freeze frames for when I get my DSLR- I just love sandstone and cobblestone alleyways!

I also found myself *daydreaming* about when I can finally leave this city...in total honesty, I find this city very disheartening...on the rare occasions I do get out of my bubble I can't help but notice that there really are so many A-holes around! Several words come to mind when I think of Sydneysiders...Superficial, Shallow, Selfish, Pretentious! oh and increasingly...really quite materialistic!

Being back in Sydney these past few months is the sole reason I attribute to my gradually diminishing faith in people and also the reason why I've stopped making any effort to even vaguely meld and I've also stopped bothering being overtly nice, considerate or decent...it's also the reason why I love the *nice* haven of the blogging world and also physically escape every small opportunity I get with the past winter break and this summer break no exception...I escape this city purely so I can face it again with a renewed faith in people(!)

So anyhow my daydreams are not only filled with short breaks out of this city, they've actually evolved into detailed and practical plans for how to permanently leave and resettle in some other part of this awesome country! I have a fair few ideas about where but Western Australia is the final unchartered frontier I need to check out before I can firm up deciding on my final destination...

I'm feeling good as my dreams become concrete and practical plans and as the time ticks on I just get closer and closer to my dreams coming to fruition which once seemed so far away and intangible!

In this sense, it was a really satisfying day :)

Transcending Childhood...

My transformation from child to adult has been a very protracted work in progress.

I always had this preconceived idea that you only fully become an adult when you have your own children...but I have to say I'm actually starting to feel very Adult regardless-it's sort of become a rather firm and constant presence where as before the feeling was more like random, fleeting, sporadic bursts of visitation like that of enthusiastic tourists.


This card I pulled at Voice of the Angels sort of encapsulated this feeling...

When Times Get Tough...

this song somehow never fails to crop up on my ipod! (along with a wry smile)

this doesn't happen often...

but it's pretty weird how my ipod always seems to just "know" when I'm needing it!!

VOCALS BY FRENTE VERSION


So let the sun shine in
face it with a grin.
Smilers never lose
and frowners never win.
So let the sun shine in
face it with a grin
Open up your heart and let the sun shine in.

When you are unhappy,
the devil wears a grin
But oh, he starts to running
when the light comes pouring in
I know he'll be unhappy
'Cause I'll never wear a frown
Maybe if we keep on smiling
He'll get tired of hanging 'round.

ARGUABLY CUTESY(!?!)FLINTSTONES VERSION

It's kinda perverse...

I realised...that rather than focusing on "living life", I'm really addicted to documenting it...almost with a 3rd person removed kind of detachment sometimes!

ie rather than being pulled out to a social gathering, I'd much prefer to stay home and update my blog...and especially read blogs to see what everybody else is up to!

Okay, call me sad...but in the end - right now at least- it's all about sheer energy levels (of which are completely lacking!!)

Maybe a lame excuse...But I'm enjoying myself...and it's MY LIFE!!!

Sleeping on a Stone

A while ago Stoneweaver suggested sleeping on a stone.

The other day before sleeping I was going through my special box of rocks and admiring how pretty the gold flecks in my dark blue lapis lazuli were - a stone I had bought a while back but never really paid much attention to before...

Without much thought I popped it under my pillow.

Wow. Last night was the second night in a row I had the lapis lazuli under my pillow...

I had my first (free) flying dream. Not only that but I was flying over the ocean all around Australia scanning the beautiful coastline from above! :-D

I have no idea how this dream came about...perhaps it had something to do with reading about Jetman earlier in the week, or maybe it had something to do with reading the wizarding world of Harry Potter before bed?!!

S-W-E-E-T

When I was but a wee child, growing up the 4th born of 1st generation immigrants from a country where currency was a third, there wasn't any money for the non-essentials...

So whenever out with my far more well off cousins who always managed to leave the shop with the latest in fandangly toys, I might have gotten a tube of minties.

In this way, my (unfortunate) sweet tooth was born...



Since I should have been in one of this country's foremost epicurean regions since it's a long weekend (but I'm not due to the usual pressing deadlines of adult responsibility :P) I'm posting a pic from my last visit to a foodie region...what is likely THE BEST patisserie I have had in this country! Everything we tried was totally delectable.

In the pic you see a Fruit Tart, Baked Boysenberry Cheesecake and a Thai coconut cake. Guess which one I had?!

All this goodness- Z's taste test guaranteed- can be found at Choux Choux Patisserie in the olde worlde charm of Bangalow- a beautiful town a.k.a 'The Woollahra of the Shire" LOL.

Cheers to Good Eating and Drinking!

Did Aliens Invade My Sleep?!!!

I had remarked in the day after viewing Crop Circles,

"I wish I could visit one!" and that I was disappointed that there were none to be found in Australia.

Last night in my sleep Lo and Behold! I went for a Helicopter ride over a Crop Circle in Australia! Talk about instant gratification ;)

It was Amazing. Crop Circles are so very beautiful. Here are some favs (Germany seems to have some of the universe's most artistic aliens LOL)

Flower (I love this kind of pattern- I often draw similar patterns)

Yin&Yang (haha see even Aliens validate Chinese Medicine)

The Sun (the Sun is almighty to Aliens and humans alike!)

So is this the way the world ends?!

What are you trying to say?!

And typical elegance from Switzerland...

FluidFlower

okay this slacker needs to get cracking on work(!) Nice distraction for the day :)

p.s Random Thought: I LOVE Third Culture Kids!

Happiness is...

My dear rational and realistic friend heard me rambling on about something rather "fantastical" but very dear to my heart the other day (for the umpteenth time) and kindly gave me a gentle prod to maybe "curb" it in a little cos it's starting to get a little "weird"...

I was telling my other friend about this who has been through a lot and hence is arguably one of the "more spiritually evolved" ones of my friends...ever supportive, I really liked his encouraging and somewhat defensive response:

"What's so weird about that?!! You're living your dreams!"

:-D

Indeed.

For the First Time in My Life I actually Feel Free and able and ALLOWED to follow my gut, my heart, my dreams...

Therefore, I conclude...

Happiness is... *Living your Dreams!*

Hopeful ; )

Most people know Murphy's Law as "whatever can go wrong will go wrong".

Idealistic types like me who like to believe in miracles might like this new take on the definition...

"Anything that has a probability of happening >0 CAN and WILL happen. No exceptions."

I'm hopeful ; )

A strange day

Besides my alfresco on the floor dinner Today has been full of new experiences....I couldn't help spending most of the day smiling :)

I needed to get some documents witnessed so I ended up at a criminal court complete with hardened criminals and police!! It was definitely kinda exciting...suddenly boring old lawyers seemed brave, dashing and dangerous! LOL

Later I went to the famously XXX part of town which I've not seen for quite some time and not in the day...it's actually become pretty gentrified and actually reminded me a little of Soho with interesting little designer boutiques and lots of good food...it was fun pretending to be a Yuppie...my hot chocolate and friand in some hip cafe looked very designer but didn't taste too crash hot :P

I stickybeaked in a deli and tried fresh-made halva for the first time....yuck- sickly sweet! And I also saw a cake of quince which I don't recall seeing before....(apparently you eat slices of this with cheese and wine-the tartness complements well.)

I also had a lot of fun shopping in an upmarket grocer...these are my favourite just cos they always have food items you don't often get anywhere else- today the most interesting aquisition was green furry pod things a.k.a FRESH ALMONDS!! Like so...

Happy Days...Alfresco Dining!

I'm really enjoying the warmer weather- I've been taking advantage of being outdoors every night...usually breathing, meditating, doing yoga poses or lazing in a sandchair with my IPOD and admiring the stars :)

Last night I ate some leftovers with meat and I had a terrible sleep complete with psychadelic dream/nightmare (which I might outline in another post just cos I'd like to hear interpretations for it!)...anyhow so tonight I didn't dare another crappy night's sleep so got into the vegetarian groove.

Nothing gourmet...really simple but the novelty factor was really fun- I had lots of tiny dishes...tomato and baby spinach with caramelised balsamic and extra virgin olive oil, avocado slices, soba noodles, five grain rice, fried egg and french beans and to finish some papaya and pineapple...I wonder if with all of that I got sufficient nutrients?! I'm full at least :)

So I was sitting cross legged on my ratan mat on the balcony under the night sky with a Himalayan salt lamp flickering and ambient music eating but now I'm lazing on a banana chair with a big fat pillow, my Himalayan lamp and my laptop with wireless indulging in my favourite pasttime;)...and because it's the city, there are no mozzies or bugs to contend with! Talk about LIFESTYLE!!! lol

Who said city living was that bad?! hehe ;)

LOL I'm so glad my next door smoke-a-holics have moved on....I feel so much happier being able to breathe and eat in clean air and really enjoy my home to the maximum :-D