Saturday, August 14, 2010

Furrowed Brows, Gynophobia and Minority Subversion

So I was catching the bus home one night and in my line of vision was this woman...going through her whole personal grooming routine(gee I hate when people use public domains to do that)...

She had a systematic and strategic method of brushing her hair which kind of grossed me out cos she was flicking her hair all over the place - it was pretty neat and effectual though and very, very thorough- I was just slightly *impressed* any case after tying it up in a satisfactory ponytail after going through various other steps she pulled it all out! and flicked her loose hair all over the place only to go through the whole procedure all over again! arghhh! the lazy ass in me was shitting herself at all the wasted EFFORT...after spending so much time to just ditch like that, I seriously found my face had ended up imprinted with Furrowed Brows... completely 'combobulated...watching her I realised...I just DO NOT understand the fairer gender at all...nope, completely, utterly, non-sensical!

And then I realised just like Ms Hanson's favourite word "Xenophobia" that is where all fear has lack of understanding and unfamiliarity...which is probably why I realised this week, to some extent I definitely suffer gynophobia or a fear of women. Which is the only explanation I can give for not daring to meet Dina...Weird I know. Maybe it's a learned socialization of fear and mistrust cos women have always been 'crap as' to me relative, in my life to date.

Besides that I did have another scary encounter with a woman recently. An Aryan Great Grandma. I seriously had to hold back from not swearing at her. She was one of those self important seriously selfish people who are so busy tending their own concerns they lack awareness of basic consideration for others and feel the need to IMPOSE themselves on you even if you are just going about minding your own business.

As I grow older and older I definitely more and more identify with my "minority" roots and am grateful for them. Despite the dominant aesthetic typically being Barbie blonde and blue eyes I can honestly say I've never aspired to this. In any case now that I am in a more homoegenous, stuffy, conservative area I find myself reacting... I think I can't stand being dictated to or oppressed by social conventions even if as some people have pointed out, this is not always self-serving or in my best interests. I can't help myself. It's like this sad but good film I saw the other day where this girl got totally exploited for her looks and shoved into child prostitution. Basically as an act of defiance to her pimps who told her to go do "make up" she went and defaced her face into a clown and hacked her hair all short and uneven. I was almost fist pumping in that part of the film-lol!

So anyway, back to Aryan Great Grandma...after unappreciated and unjust discriminatory interlude, I felt the need to don Cambodian hijab as an act of subversion to "colour" this homogenous streetscape and white supremacist area. Although there were a few stares from the stuffies, the butcher didn't bat any eyelids :)

I'm not sure why I do these things but I just do. I guess I can't stand unfairness and intolerance of minorities and my libra bits can't stand injustice...and I guess being non confrontational it's my way of saying "Screw You!". I guess I always identify with and like to stand up for the underdog...


HappyOrganist said...

i'm gonna be depressed for a year. what a horrid horrible film you recommend. (no offense, of course).
I'm all for watching abuse on tv, don't get me wrong.. but (ok - enough with the sarcasm)

anyhow - depressed for a year after watching the last scene of the movie.


and on to bigger and brighter things.
I have a neighbor who is (perhaps Introvert!) - I don't really know - but it's fun I was noticing and pondering it just yesterday (and noted how annoyed I was by it) b/c I'd love to meet/visit/hang out with them - but they never come out and don't talk much and (I thought of you - and 'hey, maybe they're like that weird gal in Australia...')


but I'm still a little put-off.
It's alright, though..

love to see that hijab outfit ;)

Franko Gnedo said...

Your hijab would not have been out of character in the area I live in. I like going to the shops and seeing many people looking like they just stepped out of Africa or an Arabic country or Vietnam. Today I drove my kids to a skate park almost 10kms away instead of riding to our local skate park. There was lots of blonde hair and not one indigenous or non-white kid. It was interesting how there is such a change in such a short distance. But I quite like both places.