Having undergone so many scintillating trials and tribulations proportionate to my years worthy of a trash serial equivalent of a mystery novella, I realize this is probably why I have retained so few friends…Troubles are THE best “test” for whether a friend is real - a keeper or not- sorts the wheat from the chaff…and at the end of the day what I find is that most of your “friends” will dissolve into oblivion as soon as there is any sign of trouble to them by association because suddenly you are no longer in any position to be the entertaining arm accessory, impressive conversation piece or refreshing zing to a party.
What I find most “friends” fall into is that of those people who like you as “social padding” eg: you equal social glorification eg the more people to attend farewell drinks or birthday parties the better they look. The more people to validate them with internet postings the better they look. The more “cool” people they are connected to the better they look. All about “face”:rather like why Facebook has made it big- at the end of the day most people only care for most others as much as it validates their own existence on stage, something which seems so shallow and ingenuine and self-centred, none of which are qualities I dignify.
Real friends stand by you through thick and thin:
They are the ones to cry with you when you cry. To give you an arm to lean on when you hobble around.
They have your best interests at heart and are not armed with sus ulterior motives. (Yes there are two other famous categories of friend I seem to encounter: the one that you are “useful” to and as soon as you stop being useful there ends the “friendship” or the one who just wants to get down your pants and bails as soon as they realize that road’s a dead end).
Real friends are the first to respond and volunteer help whether it be needing an ear vent in the midst of crisis, dirty hard labour on moving day, meal deliveries when you are sick or ensuring you shelter when you have no place to go.
Fake friends typically remember to get in touch once or twice a year typically on their birthdays, their farewell drinks or their weddings. These are the people I dump without regret and am grateful for the wasted space in my life that I can claim back for more worthwhile endeavours. Maybe I am idealistic and I have too high expectations but at the end of the day I stand my ground:
I have no time of day for fake or lesser friends – they don’t deserve friends as good as me.
It never ceases to surprise how selfish and thoughtless of others the average person is. Which is probably why I’m starting to really appreciate people of faith and religion. At least on the whole we are a bunch of people who still nurture and practice values which makes us much more decent human beings.