Okay so when a German tells me so I listen, lol

Talk about PREJUDICED! LOL

So anyway my German gf who I highly admire and respect told me to be a certain way. Somehow when a German tells me so I listen and obey, lol...it's hypnotoad on Futurama all over again!

So from that what to conclude? Humans are a completely irrational species!!! But then again there are those that attribute it to gender...LOL

An aside, I was told that with how to get on with the opposite genders it goes like this...for males a female puts in 50% listening and 50% understanding. With females males need 100% listening and 0% understanding. Obviously a Male told me that! *eye roll*

I feel wrung out with too much social interaction and being pulled in so many directions-not like I can retain my structural energetic integrity easily when I feel like lots of vultures all grabbing at me...I think introverted hermits were not made for this...I've scheduled in serious CAVE TIME for recovery next week, however the next month is a bit hectic!! (But also possibly exciting...)

p.s for the record while I'm being irrationally(?) prejudiced can I just put on the record...I. ABSOLUTELY. CANNOT. STAND. LEO. MEN. I guess that is probably why I have drawn them my entire life probably in about an 80% to other ratio!!!!! see...there is some rationality to my rant!

Opinion: On Extreme Extrovert By Extreme Introvert

I was present to witness my bday twin in conversation with our resident in your face >800 FB friend extroverted manwhore. It wasn't pretty. But it did make me giggle at the lack of connection- it was like watching a ball being thrown and each side kept dropping the ball like total klutzes.

The conversation was painful. Extrovert keeps harrassing introvert...listening but not hearing, not absorbing. As a fellow introvert and relatively more experienced and sharpened by years of annoying extroverts, I totally understood even if he didn't and almost felt compelled to pick up the ball and pass it over - stop the protracted agony by being the go-between translator!

What I find is that extroverts so misunderstand us that rather than listening to what we are trying to tell them all they are focused on is themselves and why does this person not like me, why does this person not want to talk to me?

If people say introverted people are self-absorbed off in their own worlds of thoughts and feelings I counter the opposite:extroverted people are so self obsessed that all they do is talk AT you revolving around themselves rather than ever take in or listen to what you are actually trying to say when they do pause to breathe and invite you to speak.

I'm starting to think that for me as an extreme introvert I can only take other introverts especially if I have to appreciate large doses of other people's company. Extroverts for more than small doses make my head spin and tend to make me feel like the blood has been drained from my veins...or at the very least...very physically exhausted and needing a whole day to recover. Why o why am I always surrounded by and subjected to so many Extreme Extroverts?? I guess it is a lesson in learning tolerance and forgiveness...and TOLERANCE. arghhhhhhh!

I am a social retard, and other stories...

It struck me recently when we were talking about emotional intelligence in psych class, that I have none...and that this is typical of people who are highly intelligent in other ways...

In any case I was thinking back to before I became so busy that books governed my life...was I that much of a social retard? I'm not sure. Hence I was wondering if emotional intelligence is fluid...somehow I think that the more interaction you get the higher your EQ.

Somehow me thinks that spending all my time sticking my head in a book the past couple of years has vastly dimished my EQ...although to be honest I don't think it was ever so high to start with...I think high EQ favours extroverts or rather, people who aren't super introverts...

On another note- in a bit of an "Adventure" for me...I happened to see some pretty good looking fresh deboned ling fillets...not that I really eat fish or have ever cooked it but I guess I was feeling adventurous to try something new that day...

anycase I was shocked when two small pieces cost $16-sheesh! I am so glad I'm not a big fan of seafood...I had no idea how to cook fish so I asked my friend the daughter of a restauranteur-she had no idea except that she preferred steamed fish to fried fish...So I opted to bung the fish in my steamer- but how to flavour it??

I had to guess- So I put a little soy, a little sesame oil, a little chinese wine, some garlic, some chilli and some coriander and some salt...all in all- not bad for first time fish cooking!

I felt a bit guilty though...I didn't eat fish for the longest time from about the age of 4-22 (cos I was convinced "fish are my friends, not my food!") But now I realise it is very good for health especially for someone of my constitution...

But I think I'll go back to veggies tomorrow...

Introverts should stop hiding in their earphones...

...AND FACE THE WORLD! *lol

my earphones busted yesterday and I haven't as yet replaced them cos I don't have any spares, I'm not sure which ones to get or whether it is time for a listending device upgrade...(with looming globetrotter-iness, I think not for the latter!

In any case it did occur to me that I do spend my entire outside existence plugged to my earphones....and that perhaps it is a bit of a barrier device to the outside world...in any case, my suspicions were proven today when my neighbour across the hall was passing by and struck up a conversation...lol he did mention he hadn't spoken to me before cos everytime he sees me I'm plugged up to earphones!

In any case it was a rather pleasant exchange and I was very pleased when he complimented me on the "decent noises" coming out of my apartment *lol...

so now I know one neighbour...now to work on my aversion to completely random strangers...and associated automated anti-socialness.

A random aside, I've been doing crazy 18 hour very active bustly days in the pursuit of life balance...very sleep deprived and tired but I'm still managing to continue with them! I guess I should curb this soon before I crash...I think the fact I CAN do this means that maybe my health is improving :) But I'll have to give it a couple more months before I know for sure...I hope so, cos at the moment there are lots of doubts from those close to me that I will be able to make good on my global wanderlust.

A Curious Mix: Introverts and Parties!

I'm currently sporting blue panda eyes(this is definitely much worse than traditional black panda eyes!)

in addition I'm still sporting blue glitter fingernagels (this I can live with cos it'll fall off soon enough!)....Since the need for makeup remover arises on average only once a year(not kidding!), I'm being rationally cheap by not investing in any ;)

*****

So....large scale costume party in a club....SO NOT MY SCENE.

Firstly the music was really bad on the verge of offensive and the doof doof was like a drill progressively going deeper into my headache(not that anybody else noticed- I guess if you go enough to these places you must get innured to Bad music LOL) Actually the bar staff were pretty shocked when I asked if they could change the music - I think they were thinking
...who does this girl think she is?! *lol*

But anyway I was amongst friends and several close ones so I was completely comfortable to do as I pleased...Comfortable enough to curl up on the comfy couches for some much needed shut eye LOL and not feel obligated to be a social whore.

I'm not always inherently antisocial, it's rather I have little tolerance for small talk, and despite lots of interesting people around, these kinds of places are not exactly conducive to in depth meaningful conversations or really getting to know people....so I'd rather not expend the energy!

So yeah I had a reasonably good time(don't think it beats a Friday night in though ;) despite being anti-social and not talking much...eating, drinking, playing trivia, watching people dance (I love watching hip hop, pop and boogaloo styles!) most of all I spent a good deal of time taking photos and video :)...it's a real shame I have no proper working camera but I still managed to get some awesome content...there was so much there to work with I was like a very happy kid in a candy store :-D Unfortunately my camera was not able to keep up especially in terms of reading the light and shutter response! Not sure if I will post after I upload cos perhaps it's a privacy issue... we'll see.

there was so much digital recording going on, I tried to avoid being in front of camera as much as possible...some people call it camera shy but I just don't think the real me translates to 2D pixels well and cos I'm always aware, I always have this distinctly uncomfortable look on my face! When it comes to large scale parties, although I don't enjoy going to them, I have no qualms attending in the role of "official photographer/videographer", then it just becomes indulging another "hobby" :)

In any case I still felt like an old grandma amongst youngsters *LOL.

p.s Got to ride in only my 3rd ever different type of black vroom vroom sportscar i.e low to the ground, 2 doors, manual transmission, black leather inside, 0-100km in 6s or something...In any case not quite the Aston Martin Vanquish of my dreams -you can have socialist ideals but still have expensive taste!/preferences ;) LOL - but a bit of scary fun-these hoonheads so need to learn to drive properly!!!

p.p.s was that a bit unexpected that I demonstrate an appreciation for things with 4 wheels? yeah, that's due to having been predominantly socialised by 'boys' LOL- Boys Toys definitely have always had way more appeal here...

Daily Life: a surprisingly nice day.

So...after class my good friend A (who knows how to sew) graciously accompanied me to the craft store to help me buy some materials for a last minute costume for the school party(my very best school friend organised it and would kill me if I did a no show- now I'm back in the city I have no valid excuse to party poop either LOL...the funny part was, already expecting me to be antisocial I found out she even pre-engaged a chaperone to make sure I don't end up sitting in a corner-unbelievable! LOL-extroverts don't understand us introverts at all - we are perfectly happy to sit in a corner, to not be noticed, resting instead of having to expend energy socialising with a whole room of complete strangers and we very much enjoy being able to people watch in peace!

Anyway with A, it was really fun just walking and talking and stopping along the way to indulge our love of food...a new discovery for me were the pretzels at the German Bakery- Yum!

Basically it's all about good company :) And despite all the negativity I feel in the city from the way cityfolk are relative to countryfolk, A is one of the two people in the world I never have any difficulty feeling UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for all the time....she is so heart of gold sweet it really makes my day to be around someone so wholesome, pure and decent :-)

I still feel really cranky re: selfish people, insincere people, people who have ulterior motives and mean-spirited intentions, takers, exploiters, bitchy types, calculating types, shallow people, pretentious people, fairweather 'friends' and inconsiderate people...basically that covers most locals I seem to have met in this city to date(!)

anyway before this post gets too aburrida I thought it'd be fun to note my favourite of the search terms I noticed so far that landed people at my blog...

"brain tricking images"

"new words for cool"

"the art of self confidence"

wow I was impressed...so intellectual, sane and G rated compared to many others I've seen!

Other random revelation: I feel like a kid cos I have blue glitter sprinkles all over my nails :-)(part of costume and I couldn't find blue nailpolish)...anyway busy day/night/weekend ahead so NEED TO SLEEP! *wan an* (that's me speaking toneless mandarin ;)

I can't decide whether I'm a grandma or a 40 year old man...

Okay, so I copped out. Right now I should be schmoozing amongst fresh faces and getting more practice interacting with people my own age. But honestly by 8pm already having attended a function prior, I was pooped and given the option of a quick fuss free 10minute ride home or having a real arse of a time trying to commute home late at night with the inevitable beer goggled drongos that harangue you and security issues with not being able to get a cab and not being able to get a lift cos everybody's too pissed to give you a lift, well I thought it was a justified cop out.

Next time, I promise. I just don't think I can do more than one event per night- I'm just not cut out for it!

A shame, cos I'm sure it would have been...interesting.

This reminder of what a GRANDMA I am is just an echo of what I felt on my trip. I honestly felt like I was about 40 relative to the twenty somethings. And the people I got talking to or rather, bothered to talk to me...as always...40 year old men! I swear, for some strange reason, since about the age of 18, men 10-20 years older are the easiest subsector of society to talk to! With younger people, well they're just so young! With women, well I'm just not that girly: most of the time I really don't get them! It is the late thirties-forty year old men who are the easiest to talk to and the most interesting by far as well as the most stress free- I don't have to make a concerted or contrived effort - somehow conversation just comes very naturally, topics and all- I guess somewhere within me must lie a 4o year old man LOL!

The only problem is that...it looks kinda bad. I remember the first time my sister noticed this strange trend of mine- she was quick to accuse "which 36 year old man hangs out with an 18 year old - he must be a paedophile!" And what's worse is that when you're asian you look 10 years younger than your true age and all non-asians look about 10 years older than their true age- hence, I am intensely aware of the fact that this kind of association can very easily be misconstrued as something really quite unsavoury....

I guess some people were just never meant to fit into societal norms...*sigh*

In the Mind of a "Shy" Person

Actually I'm starting to realise this "shy" label isn't quite all that correct!

And neither is the "anti-social" label!

These are just what extroverts call people who they don't understand: ie introverts.

For me, shyness and introversion has always been somewhat conflated-related but I guess fuelled by being especially drowned in extroverts of late and completely misunderstood, I started to read up more on these mysterious introverts lately and the recognition was overwhelming...THAT'S ME TOO!!! AND, it's perfectly normal! :-)

So just in case you were just as clueless as I once was, here is a very rudimentary explanation based on how I understand it in a nutshell...

the introvert enjoys being alone- parties, unfamiliar people and social gatherings are usually quite draining...after something like this, they need to reenergise with time and space spent alone with their thoughts. they do like the company of a few close friends on occasion though :)

the extrovert is the opposite - they love social interaction and derive their energy from being with others-they're gregarious and talkative and often enjoy being the centre of attention. they love parties and get incredibly bored when left to their own devices LOL

Anyway here are some introversion associated things I like- Jonathan Raunch's article how to care for your introvert- a must read for all extroverts! (especially ones with introvert partners!)

And The Hermit's Hearth- a nice retreat after a long hard day in an extroverted world...how bizarre, that is the exact same picture I used to keep on my wall as a teenager! Such happy relief to find like-minded souls!

Men Talk, Women Listen...

is that how the saying goes? Well then I'm sick of it!

Maybe I "talk" or to use M's expression-verbal diarrhoea- to my blog alot cos in my real life I don't get to literally talk enough?! I guess also when you're surrounded by extroverts and loud types you don't end up saying much unless invited. Or maybe it's characteristic of introverts: with people who are practically strangers you keep to yourself and listen politely rather than talk.

Today bumped into D which was pretty funny- he was asking me how my exam went? I politely responded. Then a brief silence...but he couldn't contain himself and burst into: "aren't you gonna ask how IIIIIIIIIIIII went?"

haha and this was the clincher:"No! Cos I already asked you this morning and you already told me all about it!"

LOL- this just illustrates how I'm starting to really notice how most men love nothing more than to talk about themselves and half their purpose in talking with women is to try and get their egos stroked - actually I told him this arguably skewed perspective and he immediately agreed wholeheartedly! LOL

Actually this study debunks long held stereotypes and results are pretty interesting!

And so, the day was a total write off...

Oops. Inadvertent as usual...

I accidentally got a bit...Doped! Last night....except that...

unfortunately the dopey-ness lasted ALL DAY as well and I was so sleepy it was a struggle to keep my eyes open!!

Cos I'm still old school and only just now learning the transition to powder granules from raw herbs, I didn't realise how strong these practitioner-only herb granules are...and they were a bit too much for all of my forty something kilos...

So it was a write off of a day. I think I'm like The Energiser bunny and the only time I know when to STOP is when I end up overdoing myself and then end up getting sick and/or crashing...or maybe it was also partially my body clock knowing it was my "day off" and just letting me crash.

It's all a bit blurry but I recall it a rather health-focused day...I restarted with the organic delivery service which seemed a little silly being right in the city but what I found is you really can't get organics unless you're in the 'burbs! Anyway, I think it's good: saving me time, energy, money and best of all preventing me from being tempted to buy unhealthy heavily processed and refined packaged junk foods at the supermarket...and it motivates me to eat more fresh veggies! Organics ARE expensive but really, for highly sprayed fresh foods like spinach, grapes, capsicum, tomatoes etc it REALLY is worth it cos the non-organic stuff just tastes like pure...Ew.

It was so funny when the courier set eyes on me for the first time today, cos I was sort of in the middle of...cleaning lady/cooking lady/washing lady/straight out of bed half asleep lady/yoga lady and I think in that moment he didn't utter words he must have been thinking..."Sheesh, she really has SOME NERVE being seen in public like that!" LOL

I guess that is part of the subversive rebel in me...my girlfriends and actually guy friends too have more than once expressed some reservation/disapproval with my daring sloppy presentation from time to time LOL...no shame, no shame ;) or maybe, it's just sheer cannot-be-bothered laziness ;) It's nice being a COMPLETE SLOB from time to time :)

I also finally received my mail order Chia Seeds(Salvia Hispanica) which are pretty cool. I must admit I'm being sucked into all this latest hype with Functional Superfoods! But I have to say (with some authority) being a Chinese herbalist-to-be, the other FAD superfood right now The Goji Berry(Lycium Barbarum)...DO BELIEVE THE HYPE! It is hypolipidaemic, hypoglycaemic, anti-oxidant, anti-fatigue, immuno-modulating, male fertility facilitating...and in particular, which is exactly why I consumed a quarter of a packet yesterday, it is REALLY GOOD FOR THE EYES: blurry vision, dry eyes, itchy eyes etc etc. However one piece of advice...don't bother with all that marketing propaganda with the expensive juice etc etc...just eat the damn berries- at least you can be sure all the nutrients are still in tact!

And finally, I really enjoyed this post- it's a very enlightening insight into introverts :) And I must say although I probably come across more like a carebear walking under a sky of rainbows lately, I haven't lost that appreciation for dark humour, or people who tell it like it is ;) LOL