Voluntary Simplicity

This is the big concept in flashing lights I've had in my head the past day or so. Very complicated intense persons definitely should DO THIS....conscientiously make the effort to keep everything as simple as possible!!! So yes day one into the practice with renewed discipline and vigour has been good...caught up on DOWNTIME for the last crazy two weeks...why is it we modern people never know how to just...live...rather we always have to cram our schedules jampacked even in leisure so that we are just constantly exhausted and checking our planners and watches??

Today I really took pleasure in cooking a decent meal probably the first for the entire week! A sweet potato, chicken, silverbeet, parsley, spring onion and lettuce rice, okay with a small cherry tomato thrown in...(weird combo of veggies as those were what was ready to harvest from my garden)...then I mopped my floors a little..geez I am worse than a CAT- high maintenance re combatting the way I malt head hair!!! and then I settled on the couch for a couple of hours engrossed in reading THE HEAVENLY MAN...as my mother has a chinese expression to describe...I can't remember the words but it means something like "not a peep/sound came out"...then I took a nap...quick check of the email and then I will lay up on the couch to finish out the book...and then I will finish tackling KOYAANISQATSI...before heading to bed at a decent hour prepared for the early morning wake up for church. wow, what a civilised day. Good thing my friend was so exhausted she had to cancel our afternoon tea and dinner date...cos I am seriously pooped too and needed this day to myself...

So my conclusion is I love such a life devoid of drama and complications...I feel like I already got too much of the complicated drama etc under my belt by a young age so I'm totally enamoured by this revelation of sorts of the back to basics simplicity of life which is the way it should be except that the unhealthy culture of modern society tends to encourage us all to be crazy!

The best thing about the life of Voluntary Simplicity and hermitude is that sticking close to God it is very very easy to achieve a previously elusive consistent PEACE. Thank God!!!

Peace in Solitude

I think this is the thing I REALLY APPRECIATE lately.

I don't think most people get it at all though...they just think I'm weird. But BOY am I thankful for solitude, even experiencing the car crash of roller coaster emotions of other people by association that go nuts crazy and irrational due to social/romantic issues is just too much disturbance to the peace I am used to relishing in in my "sanctuary"! :D

So yeah I'm all into hermit escape mode in a bid to protect this peace while I recuperate and rest up from too much social interaction...life is just so much simpler and soooo luxuriously peaceful when you only have to cater for yourself...of course friendship is awesome but except for those minority few in the world that are quite contented by themselves...social relations with people that have messy social issues is one drain I don't need right now...of course no man is an island but I don't really like "the social network" effect either. So I guess my favourite people in the world are happily married people, happily single people, really old people and pre-pubescent kids...YAY!

So my best friends will be God and taking refuge in and indulging my interests...I think overly complicated people just really do need very very simple lives to balance them out...maybe that is why I am so drawn to farming...and nature, and animals...

I still need to add piano lessons to this I think. I love to zone out with music and film too...art perhaps but I hate the messy clean up after!!

Okay so when a German tells me so I listen, lol

Talk about PREJUDICED! LOL

So anyway my German gf who I highly admire and respect told me to be a certain way. Somehow when a German tells me so I listen and obey, lol...it's hypnotoad on Futurama all over again!

So from that what to conclude? Humans are a completely irrational species!!! But then again there are those that attribute it to gender...LOL

An aside, I was told that with how to get on with the opposite genders it goes like this...for males a female puts in 50% listening and 50% understanding. With females males need 100% listening and 0% understanding. Obviously a Male told me that! *eye roll*

I feel wrung out with too much social interaction and being pulled in so many directions-not like I can retain my structural energetic integrity easily when I feel like lots of vultures all grabbing at me...I think introverted hermits were not made for this...I've scheduled in serious CAVE TIME for recovery next week, however the next month is a bit hectic!! (But also possibly exciting...)

p.s for the record while I'm being irrationally(?) prejudiced can I just put on the record...I. ABSOLUTELY. CANNOT. STAND. LEO. MEN. I guess that is probably why I have drawn them my entire life probably in about an 80% to other ratio!!!!! see...there is some rationality to my rant!

Hello, Ms Cheery!

Well that would be ME^^

I put it down to all the time I've given myself away from annoying, selfish, demanding people with bad energy. Also with TAKING MY ENERGY BACK from all the undeservings out there. Before I just gave out to all that needed, without realising I DON'T HAVE TO! Especially if it's just going to drain me and make ME soaked in bad vibes and exhausted.

For a while, especially before reading about HSPs I used to feel guilty about being anti-social and doing things for ME but now I realise it's actually a basic functional necessity...things like QUIET time and time ALONE.

Yay! Why HELLO, Ms CHEERY!!! ^^

I see coloured lights.

So, just like is becoming the norm for Friday night :p Grandma was in bed by 7pm, but this time so exhausted actually passed out for the last couple hours...and pretty much skipped dinner again-naughty!

The most interesting thing for the day was that I woke up completely drained and exhausted Friday morning with a huge headache on the same side that my last patient had had (before I had "treated" it)....ergh, the Empathic Headache. Actually it was more like a migraine(which was how the patient had put it)...so when I eventually dragged myself to class my friend very kindly gave me a head massage...WOW. I have never had a head massage before. The strangest part was that every time her hands moved over my eyes I saw coloured lights typically a bright grassy green. There was also a blue and purple light on other occasions. Interesting. Usually I only see coloured lights (turquoise green mostly and a splash of purple or pink on rare occasion) after a session of yoga or something. And in any case I only started seeing lights since being attuned to reiki. So that was kinda cool...I guess this friend also has very strong Healing Vibes :)

I need to work out some better protection for next time I think. Another friend concurred my experience that everytime she treats people "with intent" she always knows they got better cos she ends up with their shoulder, or tummy pain etc the next day. I did notice I had a headache on the same side on the same day after but was surprised when I had the full blown migraine on the same side as the patient had had the next day.

Other thing on my mind was that I miss having an animal...this is my little cutie from before(my first ever pet besides fish!) :

just I can barely even manage myself with this schedule let alone look after an animal. I guess at this particular time I don't feel like I can really relate to people...I think it's kinda like that funny movie Ghost World where he says:

"You can't relate to other people, so you fill your life with stuff... I'm just like all these other collector losers. "

I have to admit I do recognise lots of myself in Enid and I could see myself getting along well with a Seymour. (Maybe it's only the "abnormal" people who truly pique my interest enough for me to want to know them- I wonder why haha)

I think on a just meet acquaintance level, getting along with people for me is pretty breezy but to find people I truly connect with past that and actually enjoy their company repeatedly, well that's pretty rare. I guess at my core I'm innately antisocial- it's not that the skills are completely lacking, it's more like being sociable seems like too much effort relative to pay off unless I'm "in the mood". Like my mum reminded me "remember you used to have a big picture of the HERMIT tarot card stuck on your bedroom wall?"

I guess since about forever on both tangible and spiritual levels I never exactly fit in with the norm for my age. So I guess I'm feeling decidedly antisocial...but maybe that's just cos I probably overdid it with too much contact with people I don't resonate with this week thus feeling more aware of that normal gap that exists between people but which I don't feel so much with animals, or even more so in Nature.

LOL, on the last trivial recount of the day...my young friend actually started calling me "Grandma" (I guess I asked for it when I keep using it all the time LOL)...he msged me "hey grandma, I'm at the pub across the road, come join me!"

I didn't reply.

I guess it's allowed for me to call me Grandma but a sore point if a young guy does...*hmph!

The Friend Situation

So I know I bitch and moan and groan about how disgusting and horrible city living is but I gotta admit I like
a) being able to go out for short trips and duck home again even several times a day if I want to...it's kinda handy having a city pad...even when I move regional if it's feasible I'd very much like to keep a city pad.

b)relatively, there are more things happening and more to do than if I was in woop woop- although I have no problem entertaining myself watching kids go night fishing or admiring the blanket of twinkling stars, walking along open roads and breathing fresh air any time of day cos it was SAFE!

ANYHOW. I rang my sole friend who lives in the city thinking I'd drop over since I'd be his way trying to find this elusive black tourmaline. But no...finally the entire year of flirting with several girls a week(he's a Leo-need I say more?!) on the internet has paid off...he hesitates..."my girlfriend is coming". Oh. I know he feels torn between being a good friend and being a new boyfriend. It's okaaaaay I say. "I get it". I'm actually really relieved to hear that he's finally decided to commit to one and stop toying with so many even though that inevitably means less of a friend for me!

Anyway I'm used to the friend desertion...in the beginning it was being deserted by all the adventurous/ambitious friends who left this country for more exciting career prospects in more exciting pastures. These days at this age it's generally the hooking up thing...cos conventionally speaking, Now is the "correct" time to be settling down...cos most of my friends historically have been male I guess I've felt the desertion more cos typically their girlfriends tend to impose a "you can't hang out with other females thing"...and if not, they feel inappropriate doing so anyway...there have been many times when people I don't really know have seen me with single guy friends who were not my partner and I have to admit although there was nothing untoward going on it didn't look too good!

Whatever the case, my conclusion...it's not a good idea being "taken off the market" young cos you could have spent a lot more time expanding your social circle since people were at an age where they were more interested in making friends rather than partners :P That is the only thing I've learnt and if I ever have kids I'm sure as hell going to advise them not to settle down too early for many reasons, that just being one! (Oh the joy of learning through mistakes! the good thing being I rarely make the same mistake twice!)

In any case I think I'm an anomaly cos regardless of being in a relationship or not I still feel the urge to hang out with friends and have my own spare time and a lot of personal alone time and space..this free spirit feels easily suffocated by other people whether it be in a friend or partner capacity. However...I've also been asked is it a "commitmentphobe" thing?

For others maybe, for me I don't think so...for me it's about your partner being THE RIGHT PERSON, not just that it's an "appropriate" age to settle...

Cynical, practical types have told me..."fine, be idealistic romantic fatalist...just be prepared to bear the consequences".

In the Mind of a "Shy" Person

Actually I'm starting to realise this "shy" label isn't quite all that correct!

And neither is the "anti-social" label!

These are just what extroverts call people who they don't understand: ie introverts.

For me, shyness and introversion has always been somewhat conflated-related but I guess fuelled by being especially drowned in extroverts of late and completely misunderstood, I started to read up more on these mysterious introverts lately and the recognition was overwhelming...THAT'S ME TOO!!! AND, it's perfectly normal! :-)

So just in case you were just as clueless as I once was, here is a very rudimentary explanation based on how I understand it in a nutshell...

the introvert enjoys being alone- parties, unfamiliar people and social gatherings are usually quite draining...after something like this, they need to reenergise with time and space spent alone with their thoughts. they do like the company of a few close friends on occasion though :)

the extrovert is the opposite - they love social interaction and derive their energy from being with others-they're gregarious and talkative and often enjoy being the centre of attention. they love parties and get incredibly bored when left to their own devices LOL

Anyway here are some introversion associated things I like- Jonathan Raunch's article how to care for your introvert- a must read for all extroverts! (especially ones with introvert partners!)

And The Hermit's Hearth- a nice retreat after a long hard day in an extroverted world...how bizarre, that is the exact same picture I used to keep on my wall as a teenager! Such happy relief to find like-minded souls!