Choose Your Own Adventure...

This week has been a bit all over the shop for me...it's almost like being given a crystal ball to preview glimpses of your life having taken different paths...In any case nothing seems any clearer...I just feel a bit exhausted-drained...as if I've lived all those different paths within one week!!

Some much needed time out to myself and connecting with God I think...

Time Poor, Time Rich

I'm just wondering, if in the entire history of the world, whether people ever found themselves idle with not a whole lot to do....we keep attributing it to modern society, but actually when you think that people used to have to collect their own food, start fires, gather water, cook etc etc, I doubt it!! Except for Royalty perhaps. I think when you are a kid with such a luxury of plenty of idle time, it is parental responsibility to give you advance warning to make the most of it cos such utopian situations do not last...once you're not a kid and no longer living with someone else to do stuff for you...there just IS no time left in the day...no wonder people make such crap friends...the individual barely can find enough time for themselves!

Next time if I feel bored I need to go just check out my massively long TO DO list which I can never get on top of! However when you're just completely ZONKED you just have to cede and throw away your TO DO list for another day...

Damn plant babies ;) I think I got so greedy and belly fuelled I didn't realise how many different edibles I am actually producing!

BBBB

Busy Bustling Buzzing Bee...so tired.

When I get seriously tired...exhausted...first thing to go that is most obvious is the piggy enthusiasm for all things foodie and accompanying appetite. Not sure why...I guess just there is no energy left to fuel the digestive processes...

prior to that when exhaustion is still at "manageably tired", probably the first thing to go is the vision and mental facilities...no extra capacity for prolific writings...no desire to even turn on the computer.

So...that's that...until next time My Blogger Peeps!

I just want to curl up in a ball.

When I was little I think I saw some nature documentary where when ostriches get scared they just bury their heads in the sand (or this is my memory as a kid anyway)...so anyway I remember one of my siblings being a scary predator and so when I was being chased and knew I couldn't escape and thus fearful I would just stop dead in my tracks and stick my head into the ground and close my eyes LOL problem solved! Kids are too cute... so anyway I feel a bit like
shutting down like that now...cos

I'm still SO TIRED! Since last Thursday I am out every single day or rather, night - it's a bit too much beyond the comfort of Old Granny here! :p

Saturday will be my first reprieve of not going anywhere (fingers crossed)...looking forward to exclusively just bumming at home(my favourite!) hopefully.

I was looking at my month ahead...I have plans for the next 3 weeks! Suddenly, I feel all antisocial again...and I am acutely aware of a huge long list of things I need to do which one month doesn't seem long enough for. I think I don't have enough time to plan or go on a trip exploring the western frontier so I guess I have to put it off till December...I still feel like I want...need...to just escape everything and hole up in the mountains for 2 days or something just for some fresh air to recharge with the quiet peaceful hermit life...at this rate though I don't know how exactly I'm going to squeeze it in until week 4 :p

I think I went too hard too fast :p Typical, LOL.

In any case tomorrow I am on track to wake up at a decent hour. Saturday I had "breakfast" at 730pm. Sunday 3pm. Today 1130pm...so tomorrow I think my sleep cycle might be back to normal...

Apart from that I had the feeling that I am truly blessed by the Universe today...also I was walking along and suddenly 2 ambulances sirens blaring lights flashing and 2 police cars stopped not 10m from where I had just walked past!!! I still have no idea what happened.

Okay, my brain is mush. Good night!

Blergh!

You know that feeling you get when you stuffed your brain so full of rote facts it can't fit anymore...so becomes ineffective...Blergh. You also know that sinking feeling you get as soon as you see a paper...yeah that too. BLERGH. my pain is still not over and I'm friggin' exhausted, pathologically sleep deprived and hungry. Blergh.

Dina, I'll be sending you when I'm done with exams...in the meantime think of what you want hehe ;) I WISH I was a friggin genie and could just wish my studies done and my qualifications finalised and my skills superb...even if I did have magical powers I bet there is some law that you can't wish for personal gain :p...hence I just need to find my personal genie who WORKS...blergh.

M, can you put in a request for me? I need LUCK LUCK LUCK with this next one especially!

Life's Big Questions: Am I a Banana or an Egg?

I'm definitely some kind of yellow varietal outside but am I white or yellow inside? I think my values and interests are more "western" but I understand or better understand Asians and I've noticed they tend to be drawn to me as a bit of "comfort" perhaps cos I am the kind of fencesitter that can actually bridge the cultural gap somewhat...

Growing up my first 15 years were very anglo - the last 15 or so I'd say was opposite, especially in terms of friends.

I don't know why I always feel the need to fit into a box on this issue since my life is testimony to the fact that I don't ever fit in any kind of "box" well anyway!

Anyway that was just my random thought too early this morning. I feel half crazy cos I'm so tired...I think cumulatively I've had 8 hours sleep the past 2 days and have really been stretched in terms of physical/mental energy demands. So I feel kinda trashed but my blog is a good "unwind" while I wait for my beans to steam...literally haha :) and then I'm going to take a much needed nap before I get stuck into the books...all these crazy sleeping hours- can't be very healthy! :p

Living in the In-Between...

So exhausted- I'm kinda wagging cos I just really needed some consecutive Me Time as not only am I physically tired but I'm sick of sneaking "me time" into all the little in-between moments of spare time. I know I'll feel guilty later but right now my body is firmly plonked in my nice warm comfy bed :)

Very busy couple of nights and days ahead so the vote is in...and I'm sensibly getting rest while I can.

Here is my shameless What about Meeeee?!! rant on my by far most interesting blog...

A Comforting Thought...

My Dearest friend S always has a refreshing spin on things...Today it was:

"Ever get the feeling that we're normal and the rest of the world is crazy?"

HA!...THAT CRACKED ME UP!

lol, I guess I could afford to flex my perception...maybe being a minority doesn't necessarily imply that we're the weirdos!

Apart from that...I forgot to report on the outcome of my friend going to town on my hair...I think carefully styled I could pass as a bonafide Wii Avatar :) Luckily I don't own girly accessories cos she so wanted to stick a bow on me Hello Kitty style! In any case I'm loving short hair again...the only reason why I grew it long was cos a ponytail is convenient in summer and I look more my real age with longer hair...now I look 18 again...albeit like a very tired world weary one. Apparently the way to tell how old an asian really is is by the eyes...

I am still incredibly exhausted from the past week...I don't know how I'm supposed to get the bare minimum of study done-arghhhh!

Grandma's in bed by 7pm...

So she even totally skipped DINNER(!!!)

When this food loving belly goes willfully neglected then you know Tired is an understatement!

*lol...will catch up with blogging world and top up here with more fascinating verbal diarrhoea when I recover more energy...*yawn*

Zzzzzzz....

Sweet Dero-ness and the Awakening of a New Era

Got home. Crashed out on the couch for 3 hours straight...exhausted. Sheesh!No more crazy poker nights or nada for me...definitely can't afford to do this during semester...totally screws with my whole study routine!

In any case since no seeing patients today I indulged in being particularly 'dero'...a great throwback to the peak of my university days-Take One- as a carefree 18 year old...so much has changed yet some things are really just the same too as evidenced by the pic :)

Comfy Jeans, Comfy Hoodie, trademark assortment of wrist bands, and daggy 20 year old bona fide Malaysian "go out to throw the rubbish" slippers! Comfy, Comfy Comfy! Love it :-D

I have to admit that in the desire to have more professional and age credibility these days I'm not as dero as I enjoy being...most of the time LOL

Besides that I'm really enjoying this 'New Era'...at its fundamental core is acknowledging, accepting and being receptive to my own intuition as well as living according to my natural instincts, wants and needs. There is no longer a living according to what others need from me or being confined by social and cultural norms, neither am I constantly having this head vs gut war raging inside me. I'm no longer ignoring or dismissing insights that just "come to me" as irrational or any less valid than the insights I get from typically more "trustworthy" and factual sources...Which has resulted in this new sense of Stress-free Ease which I guess is ultimately what you feel when you're "in balance" and burden free! :-D

And the very strong message I am hearing from my angels is "You are entering the best time of your life...Live it wisely." No kidding, I have squandered way too much of my life already...

Other stuff...

>Sunday met up with P briefly and some of his friends...a bonafide Swede living here who was happy to endow me with more cool Swedish words :) and 2 other Aussie Malaysian Chinese girls which was pretty cool to "exchange notes"...strangely I just never seem to meet any of my own kind...

>I got in trouble again by the Chinese doc for regressing back to eating heaty foods...spicy food, alcohol...needless to say...BANNED. Hmmm, I can foresee how hard it's going to be to enforce discipline with patients of my own...I'm not exactly a shining example...reason to pull up socks I guess so I don't look like a hypocrite!

>I'm going to let my friend "go to town" with scissors on my hair cos she wants practice....should be interesting ;). It's not like she's studying haircutting or anything...oh well, it'll grow back...LOL Reminds me of the time (when I was 18) that I got so sick of my hair I just started enthusiastically with the scissors despite not knowing how...and ended up with this very peculiar missing chunk LOL...my friend had to drive over and spent 1 hour salvaging my misdirected boredom...I figure if there are any mishaps this time, at least I'm in the city...it should be easy to find someone to rectify it soon enough LOL

Have a good week everybody...I really am going to try and stick my head in the books!!

Mind Reader!

I was crumpled up in a heap-impromptu style- on my yoga mat- from sheer exhaustion (day in day out night in night out intensive study, prolonged stress and lack of rest over a long period of time is remarkably and amazingly disproportionately Qi sapping!)

So I lay like this in my lazy cocoon for approximately 30 minutes until I got interrupted by a random message from a pretty random person - just two words:

KEEP GOING!

hehe I couldn't help but grin (and wonder)...Some people are bloody Mind Readers!

I like intuitive water types :) Too bad I barely know any.

For the record, 5 more days til Liberation...

But ONLY 2.5 more days till I pick up my spanking new DSLR(Canon 450D/Rebel XSI!!!) :-)

p.s I've decided to call this camera "Horace" (don't ask me why it just randomly came to me) so soon there will be 3 to my camera family :) affectionately known as Buddy, Neo and Horace respectively :-)

It's kinda perverse...

I realised...that rather than focusing on "living life", I'm really addicted to documenting it...almost with a 3rd person removed kind of detachment sometimes!

ie rather than being pulled out to a social gathering, I'd much prefer to stay home and update my blog...and especially read blogs to see what everybody else is up to!

Okay, call me sad...but in the end - right now at least- it's all about sheer energy levels (of which are completely lacking!!)

Maybe a lame excuse...But I'm enjoying myself...and it's MY LIFE!!!

Lo Siento, Mi Cuerpa

(I'm Sorry, My Body)

Alternatively, this post could be called "Eww Z...That's Disgusting!!!"

So next week we have the tiniest little recess from semester...somehow my body was more than aware of the fact it could finally just "let go" cos I didn't leave my bed for the last SIXTEEN+ hours(!!!)

Exhausted.

Unbelievable! I'm not even jetlagged or sick- I have never spent so much consecutive time in bed! Just from that much rest I also noticed my pupils went all *sparkly* which is something I definitely have not seen for a looooong time...yes, Rest is Good! :)

In any case, basically that 16+ hours is the equivalent of about 3-4 Whole Days of my usual rest...I know-shocking, I definitely have been mistreating my body-basically because I'm so busy with daily grind the only time I get "leisure time" is to ill treat my body by depriving it of sleep so I can read blogs, see friends, blog ;) etc...

So anyway when I emerged from bed as the last rays of sun were dying it felt pretty disgusting to have slept the whole day away! And I really craved some fresh air...so taking a note from my friend who's doing a detox diet I cut loads of fresh veggies and fruits and packed them all up and rushed to the park with my IPOD and sand chair...one of the weirdest things I've done in a while but it totally made my day(or night)!

The quiet, clean air, the peace of nightfall was such a nice opportunity to detox and rejuvenate...and the best part? I saw stars! :-D

Even if you do get a couple weird looks by the occasional bypasser, at least you can rely on city people to mind their own business. I think I'll have to do it more during the warmer months- such a nice way to re-ground, really savour every mouthful of food and just

*Enjoy living in the moment*

Gassed! :-o

Oh the joy of city living never manages to disappoint.

Late last night, my entire apartment started to be consumed in the smell of...GAS! Confining me to my bedroom with the door closed, a towel shoved in the gap between the door and the floor and my windows wide open and the air purifier on.

I was kinda concerned...and seriously unimpressed but cos I had an exam the next day I decided just to (not literally) suck it in, rationalising that cos there is no gas supply to the building it should subside once the leaking portable device ran out...MAN it lasted a good 2 hours or so...and then I don't know cos my head was engulfed by the grogginess and I went to sleep.

Thankfully in the morning the fumes had gone...but SHEESH I didn't get much rest considering how much I was depending on having a top functioning brain: why do these last minute dramas always seem to happen right before I have a big assessment? (I realised, it's cos I always have some thing or another happening...)

anyway fingers crossed- looking forward to a guilt free sleep tonight but I still have a shockingly early start...whinge whinge...I'm such a night owl I think I could do 1.5X the amount I do now quite comfortably if did everything at night(much more functional, efficient and productive) instead of during the day!

Now that's what I call A PIE!

The best part about Winter is that I'm constantly starving which makes me more motivated to cook and when I feel like cooking, food always seems to turn out tastier, even if they're first time experiments!

So last time I saw A, she told me she was going to make a pie- so the mere mention of the word connected with my stomach which insisted to my brain that it needed one...

so the tired ol' muscles decided to cooperate and finally got around to it this weekend =)

I can't believe in the past we actually used to bother rolling the dough, cutting the pastry to fit and making a proper base, sides and top! WHAT A WASTE OF TIME...so I took my friend's advice and just used the sheet and squashed it at the top to make a "dumpling" LOL

The filling was concocted via imagination on the spur of the moment...beef mince, garlic, onions, pepper, red wine, Vegemite (secret ingredient hehe), tomato paste, sugar,salt, cornflour water...When it was done I mixed some frozen peas through it and left it to cool. Prior I had steamed some chopped potatoes and chopped carrots, so I put the steamed carrots on next and then the potato mash which I mixed with some parsley...

Then I baked it for about half an hour...tasted pretty good!!! I rarely get time but I love making pies from scratch- you can be sure it's all good stuff and no nasty surprises- I remember back in high school we dissected a pie from the school canteen for our food tech class and then filtered the contents- once the majority sauce had gone, the leftover "meat" was all gristle... I've never eaten one of those kinds of pies since...actually one of my earliest food memories as a child was finding a maggot in my frozen pie- between these two experiences, the fact I'm still an omnivore is surprising...not to mention the fact I still love my pies! Kids are great-so resilient- I think I'd be more traumatised if I found a maggot in my pie now!

In any case, a good pie is really hard to find...the last really top notch one I had I think was in Fox Glacier, New Zealand-however most things probably taste extra special after a helicopter landing on top of a glacier^^!!!

Rare nice homey weekend this weekend- I managed to finish my shelf which was impressively strong(very pleased-now no excuse for not getting all my crap off the floor!), wrote to some penpals, got some black pants and some silver chains for half price :) (usually I never benefit from sale season so happy about that), watched Grosse Pointe Blank- loved it- the script and soundtrack were really standout!!! 4.5 stars - now I finally understand why pretty well all my girlfriends are John Cusack obsessed- Joan Cusack was really good in this film too- most people call this movie "witty"- I guess that's the kind of humour I enjoy the most!

I'm still really exhausted though and still need a bit more of this dedicated me-time to recharge from the past week- my penpal tells me she is the same in terms of getting emotionally drained via others- she introduced me to a term I'd not heard before- apparently we're called "empaths"!

Blessed ESP moments

At 11am this morning I was still in bed head still hungover from a slightly dramatic week...haven't had one for a while but possibly attributable to the full moon- I'm very sensitive to full moons, really. (Hopefully I can say that without sounding crazy).

Anyway, at 11am this morning I was awoken by sharp rapping at my door. First thought- "oh great it's the fire brigade and I need to evacuate and I'm still in my cutesy PJs...let's just keep lying here."

It didn't stop so I had to haul ass out and to my amazement it was my dad with exactly what I needed. It was really bizarre cos I had been thinking I had to call him about it and explain the whole situation but he just TOTALLY had come about the same idea via ESP!!! I guess it's not that amazing knowing his starsign's Cancer- they're pretty intuitive-actually I think I get my sixth sense from him...

I love ESP moments ^^. It's just SUCH A RELIEF when you have those rare people in the world that just get you -no lengthy justifications, verifications, clarifications or ego headbutting needed. THANK GOD. The week is looking up already :)