The Middle Path

So I managed to get to a screening of documentaries by amateur film makers...was pretty cool being back in that scene- really felt "familiar" and took me back...after all my first love after visual arts started with videography not photography but I think I kind of lapsed into photography cos that suits my lazy nature - I just don't have the patience for countless hours in post production!

Anyway it was inspiring, maybe if I could find like-minded co-conspirators I wouldn't mind getting back into film making...the only thing is both TCM and film making require a huge commitment so having so many interests to dabble in I can only take on one that requires a big commitment so TCM will have to win out for now!

Anyhow by the end of it I was starving so I went in search of food...craving dumplings I rocked up at the shop only for the man to shoo me away and say it was closing time...far out! Anyway it was that point I wished I lived in a bustling 24-7 metropolis like New York or at least somewhere which has more of a night culture like Spain or Asia...cos things not being open and not being able to find decent food at 10pm is THE PITS! So in the end I had to settle for...fast food in a doggy bag-Berk!:P

Anyhow this thought train progressed into the following self analysis and reflection on the fact that I am such a paradoxical creature...and find it so hard to negotiate the polar forces within...as follows...maybe I'm just hard to please!

*I love the worldly, switched on, accessible and cultured nature of a bustling metropolis BUT I also love the wide open spaces, care and friendly intimacy of a small regional town.

*I need ALOT of personal space and take real comfort in alone time however at the same time I really need the constant mental stimulation that you can only get from interaction with a whole variety of people.

*I really feel the need to engage with creative dreamers but at the same time it can sometimes get a little airy fairy and I appreciate a bit of hard headed rationalism, groundedness and appreciation for everyday sensibilities in the people around me.

*East-West: the asians say I'm a pathetic excuse for an asian, the westerns think I'm asian but then get disappointed when they realise I'm not exotic, agreeable and subservient after all.

*Factual Realism vs Dreamy Possibility - can they really co-exist?!

*Logical and apathetic Detachment vs Passionate and Enthusiastic Engagement

Eh...I can hear the voice of friends...You think waaaay too much! LOL