"You don't belong here!"

It was the inevitable waiting to happen...Quite a JOKE really coming from a white INVADER of convict descent who has only populated this country for a mere blink of its history...

And treated its rightful owners with such contempt. If I were any closer I might have liked to add my own correction: "Well then, neither do you!"

In any case I didn't choose to be here: the choice was made for me. That got me thinking...just like people of mixed ethnicity who have a right to choose between each parents citizenships, people who had their nationality and citizenship decided for them as a child should have the right to decide which country they choose to belong to as an adult. Cos seriously after what I have experienced in my latter years here particularly recently I would seriously considering rescinding my citizenship...for one I am SO EMBARRASSED. In the past few months the few times I had non white looking people come to visit I'd say there was at least a 50% strike rate of a racial incident against them. It is embarrassing...as an idealist if I could rule the world I would make a global country purely with a population of educated and evolved minds. And like toyboy says the only way to end racism is probably to interbreed until everybody resembles a truly global ethnicity...

Maybe that is why I like NYC so much- it is like the global capital of the world...racism doesn't...CAN'T fly as much as it does here...I guess though that it is the effects of the Global Financial Crisis...the increasing resentment of the ethnicities that tend to be successful, rich and why? Because they work damn hard and have had their forefathers sacrifice a lot for them to receive a proper education and training so that they have a future their forefathers could only have dreamed of...

Okay before I get lured into being and staying completely racist myself I have to say that it IS a minority of imbeciles and I have great white aussie neighbours and people on the whole are pretty good compared to other countries...but that is also because apart from aesthetics there is nothing "obviously foreign" about me...

But yeah having lived the entire time here I can definitely say there is a revival of White Australia happening here big time! I just wish there were more aboriginals around to tell these bigoted invaders off LOL! For people who are not familiar with this country don't be surprised that you will be hard pressed to view ANY indigenous Australians(Aborigines) in daily life in the city...for that you need to go into the remote and desert regions...

Basically unless you are WHITE and MALE Australia is NOT paradise socially. It IS a beautiful country of space and nature and a great outdoors life though...

In other news I saw a very sad, shocked and traumatised looking Kookaburra sitting on my fence...then it occurred to me with all the slaughtering of the trees that went down today...my kookaburra friends are out of a home! Oh it's sad, Man and his unthoughtful destruction everywhere he goes...

A Point of Difference

(The only problem with living in gorgeous natural surrounds is that when it comes time for the trees to get a trim it is a VERY NOISY sleep defying procedure...between the horsepower revolutions of the electric chainsaw to the *whoosh!* as the thundering vibrations of large branches fall and hit the ground...)

I recently came across a character so refreshing I felt genuinely compelled and drawn for no other reason than uniqueness and a MUCH NEEDED 'breath of fresh air'...a point of difference amongst the stock standard majority culture of this isolated backwater.

Recently I felt so frustrated in this country with its trademark chauvinistic treatment of women to its low standards, anti intellectualism and bordering racist treatment of ethnic minorities...I remember learning about our country being a "melting pot" in primary school... rather than a melting pot it is increasingly pockets of different ethnicities all co-existing side by side and failing to have any flow of discourse between neighbours...breeding resentment especially if that culture wants to practise and preserve its indigenous traditions. I think the problem needs to be approached with a healthy balance...that all ethnic groups should have the freedom to practise their culture such as religious festivals and whatnot that doesn't violate the laws of that country however they should still care to make an effort with the mother tongue and integrate with the rest of the residents of their host country...

So as I've exited a globally flavoured educated intellectual context I have more than noticed the external population here have a really strong reaction to me- they either like or dislike me immensely...I have the ability to polarise populations! LOL Basically I think it stands as this...anybody who appreciates uniqueness and individualism will side with me but those who feel threatened by anything that is not status quo and need a generic robot standard will find me very challenging because I refuse to conform. Perhaps why I well deserve the "anti-conformist" and "rebel" label my folks pinned on me at a young age...

When I was younger perhaps it was more a case of "rebel without a cause" but as I grow older and feel incredibly oppressed by the dominant dissonant culture I feel a need to assert my right to be different and resentment towards people wanting to push me into boxes just so they feel more comfortable about themselves! And more than ever I feel a need to preserve my standards...and that the way forward is to push boundaries and always aim towards higher things. Not to stay complacent and degenerate...So there's definitely a clash of values happening here...

I guess when one's character defies all common and expected norms and sits at the far end of the bell curve and is not mute...yeah that invites a lot of arrows fired your way. I guess insecurity is a normal part of biological evolution...and a healthy characteristic of self preservation and survival instinct...so at the end of the day ALIENS, UNITE! lol well either that or leave like everybody I actually like seems to...

My Franco-Sino Day and Racial Tensions

Okay cos of my vicious cycle of wet hair late at night this blog gets graced with a post about the trivial minutiae of my day :P

My Sweet Tooth always gets a good work out when I'm in the city...hit the patisseries!!

Diversion 1 was an artisan pink metallic powder dusted pistacchio macaron with white chocolate ganache and sour cherries. So-so not bad but not amazing, did not superseded expectations or the best macaron I have tasted.

Diversion 2 was inspired by having recently eaten my first Krispy Kreme thing. I was just comparing so I got a French patisserie chocolate custard filled donut...it was pretty good...

Yikes, no wonder I now have a sore throat...no regrets though!

Latter half of the day I indulged some asian flavours...seaweed and spicy tofu ramen in pork stock soup...then a classic pearl milk tea(but damn I should have got the premium for 20c more it's worth it!)

anyway aaaaah...happy belly!

Apart from that forgot what DRAMA is inherent in city living....first my train had to get replaced due to VANDALISM and smashed windows- yes society is going down the drain...

then a humungous bitch fight broke out when one lady sprayed some tea tree thing and another lady tried to tell her to not spray it in an enclosed space...it got rather heated and some threats of fisty cuffs ensued! I was trying not to listen but also trying to work out who I sided with past thinking adult women are so bitchy and belligerent and petty...and why must I live among such unevolved people? BUt then my loyalties got seriously tested when the whitey started making racist insinuations towards the black haired lady, which were really quite irrelevant to the initial teatree situation...at one point the scale was tipping in favour of my asian roots and I had to seriously bite my lip to not embroil in an intervention with my perfectly anunciated and perfectly grammatically correct English sentences despite my black hair- oh wow! :p

Basically the 2c i really wanted to add but refrained was that white people here are MIGRANTS and INVADERS too- why are "Aussies" always so quick to forget the true original owners of the land and the way their land, culture and people were STOLEN?

So yeah I had to express my 2c here...Grrrr!

Furrowed Brows, Gynophobia and Minority Subversion

So I was catching the bus home one night and in my line of vision was this woman...going through her whole personal grooming routine(gee I hate when people use public domains to do that)...

She had a systematic and strategic method of brushing her hair which kind of grossed me out cos she was flicking her hair all over the place - it was pretty neat and effectual though and very, very thorough- I was just slightly *impressed*...in any case after tying it up in a satisfactory ponytail after going through various other steps she pulled it all out! and flicked her loose hair all over the place only to go through the whole procedure all over again! arghhh! the lazy ass in me was shitting herself at all the wasted EFFORT...after spending so much time to just ditch like that, I seriously found my face had ended up imprinted with Furrowed Brows... completely 'combobulated...watching her I realised...I just DO NOT understand the fairer gender at all...nope, completely, utterly, non-sensical!

And then I realised just like Ms Hanson's favourite word "Xenophobia" that is where all fear has roots...in lack of understanding and unfamiliarity...which is probably why I realised this week, to some extent I definitely suffer gynophobia or a fear of women. Which is the only explanation I can give for not daring to meet Dina...Weird I know. Maybe it's a learned socialization of fear and mistrust cos women have always been 'crap as' to me relative, in my life to date.

Besides that I did have another scary encounter with a woman recently. An Aryan Great Grandma. I seriously had to hold back from not swearing at her. She was one of those self important seriously selfish people who are so busy tending their own concerns they lack awareness of basic consideration for others and feel the need to IMPOSE themselves on you even if you are just going about minding your own business.

As I grow older and older I definitely more and more identify with my "minority" roots and am grateful for them. Despite the dominant aesthetic typically being Barbie blonde and blue eyes I can honestly say I've never aspired to this. In any case now that I am in a more homoegenous, stuffy, conservative area I find myself reacting... I think I can't stand being dictated to or oppressed by social conventions even if as some people have pointed out, this is not always self-serving or in my best interests. I can't help myself. It's like this sad but good film I saw the other day where this girl got totally exploited for her looks and shoved into child prostitution. Basically as an act of defiance to her pimps who told her to go do "make up" she went and defaced her face into a clown and hacked her hair all short and uneven. I was almost fist pumping in that part of the film-lol!

So anyway, back to Aryan Great Grandma...after unappreciated and unjust discriminatory interlude, I felt the need to don Cambodian hijab as an act of subversion to "colour" this homogenous streetscape and white supremacist area. Although there were a few stares from the stuffies, the butcher didn't bat any eyelids :)

I'm not sure why I do these things but I just do. I guess I can't stand unfairness and intolerance of minorities and my libra bits can't stand injustice...and I guess being non confrontational it's my way of saying "Screw You!". I guess I always identify with and like to stand up for the underdog...