Don't Drag me Into your Hole.

Haha! I looooooved this.

Good on him I say...from someone who has a track record of being susceptible to troubled people, with major difficulties in being able to "take a stand".

I too am sick of being manipulated, and taken advantage of by depressed and suicidal people.

On a few occasions now I have been so drawn in, so worried that if I didn't step up and "Save them" they would finally get the courage to pull the plug...and how could I then live with myself?

WELL. Now I am much wiser...I have noticed, Depressed people ARE Selfish, they can't help it cos they're stuck in a little personal microcosm of hell they can't see past. But it's our choice as to whether we let ourselves be drawn into the drama and allow ourselves to fall prey to emotionally blackmail.

We can be a good friend, an open ear, a pole to lean on, a second opinon, a free reservoir...but often the line gets blurry and there comes a point where one has to draw a big black one to preserve our own sanity and right to happiness and peace. (Usually this is when you start to notice that your whole life has been consumed by theirs...)

At the end of the day, if another adult decides to pull the plug on their own life, it is not something they are allowed to shirk reponsibility for and slap onto someone else. Neither should we be so deluded to think that we are responsible for another adult's life and that it is our duty as mere mortals to "rescue people" intent on taking their own life.

On a daily life update...it's cold, all I seem to think about is food, and my stomach is a bit like a bottomless pit. The next 2-3 weeks for me are full on, so on the proviso that I'm keeping my discipline with study, I'll be a bit....scant and inattentive online...apologies in advance. Thanks for the messages though!

Cheers :)

By all means, Dig Yourself into a Hole but Don't Just Stay There!

I'm getting frustrated with all the negative doomsday sayers and depressed people that abound.

To these people, I'm just as tired of you as you are...I don't care how you achieve it but these are fundamental to your own happiness:

1. Love and Value Yourself
2. Look after yourself and treat yourself as you would your personal angel.
3. How shitty your life is is a large part to do with how much you are willing to accept- that which you can't change so be it, but that which you have any ability to change and improve - what are you doing still sitting there?!

Don't just accept what life hands you...challenge it, test it, work around it...why so closed minded?!

Trash those limited beliefs and start helping yourself-there is only so much you can rely on others...it all starts with you willing your life to be better and by implementing tangible changes to make it happen!!! One small step at a time...

okay, rant over...that just came steaming out!

I'm so glad for the few positive happy people in my life...or else I might just go insane!

This is my new resolution to myself:

"I refuse to accept any more negative people into my life. I emphatically 100% will not associate or invest any more energy in negative types outside of a purely professional scope, unless they're gonna make a concerted effort to get outta the hole!"

Cos in the end A Happy Island is better than a Miserable Metropolis...Anyday!

What I love about Scorpios- RESILIENCE - like a Phoenix, people with Scorpion traits arise time and time again from the smoking ashes...new and reinvented...you can't keep them down...they might trip into a pothole from time to time but soon enough they'll brush themselves off, and pull themselves out quickly enough so as not to wait for the pothole to collapse under their weight into a gaping dark chasm...

And Saggitarians are cool too cos they're Positive Glass Half-full people!

The Law of Droughts and Floods

My phones were going ballistic today. I just wanted to crawl under a table and hide.

I know there's Murphy's Law but I was wondering if there's a name for The Law of Floods and Droughts?

I find it weird how in everybody's lives there always seems to be periods of floods or droughts even when they themselves feel pretty constant. I can only put it down to astrological transits...

I'm not the kind of person that likes the 'excitement' of massive extreme swings in anything but it always seems to happen due to this law of Floods and Droughts...it's always a "the banks have broken downpour" or else "as parched as a desert at high noon"...have no idea why! Bizarre.

So that's what it felt like Today: suddenly all my friends came out of the woodwork all wanting a piece of me...so I felt kinda stressed cos I don't want to let people down but there is absolutely no way I can accommodate it all and my fairness obsessed Libran bits doesn't know how to choose between friends....

I think it's a relief that I only have a few close friends locally because I don't enjoy these Downpours!

An aside, I'm starting to feel the pull of Vegetarianism (which I guess I've always part avoided due to not wanting to succumb to people's Hippie sterotypes of me)- admittedly, I tried my crazy friend's detox raw food diet the other night as a one off experiment cos I felt gluggy but the next day when I ate meat, I actually felt sick! Eating food raw and not eating meat totally defies all logic and traditional Chinese medicine wisdom! But somehow I did feel better so I want to try it properly...

Will just have to finish/donate all the meat from my freezer so I can try properly...not looking forward to hearing the rants and lectures that will no doubt come from my immediate Asian (and therefore meat obsessed) family cos I think once you start you really can't go back....but I've had it with being Bullied into convention!

p.s I went to my first I paid to attend professional seminar on Mood Disorders the other night- since helping those with depression and mental health seems to be my calling...(I've stopped trying to fight it and am rather embracing it now LOL)

There were some really interesting revelations including a) how modern society treats and perceives people with depression and b) on SSRI drugs (which I am totally convinced are evil since losing a good friend to them who has since become a brick wall) Anyway if you're interested hopefully I'll get a chance to post these insights on my TCM blog sometime.

Attachment: the root of all...

Suffering!

This is probably one of the most salient messages I get from Buddhist philosophy...

I've finally managed to completely let go of my quarter life/mid-life crisis and related guilt I'd been subconsciously holding in and...I've never felt so unfettered in my life! Thus, Being Happy seems a cinch!

I think when one can rid themselves of attachments it is so easy to feel Inner Peace. It is especially easy to get into this state after a practice of qigong and I must say it helps with my empath problem so I'm more resilient to taking on and absorbing other people's emotions.

I really don't know why more people don't take up this amazing tool for self healing and health maintenance. I really believe if more people did this, they wouldn't be so completely burdened by so many problems which I think modern life tremendously amplifies.

Qigong helps you to detach, be completely in the present, feel nothingness...

And when one is detached from ideas, persons, material things, ego...well nothing can really trouble them!

Since I've been such a depressed/people with problems MAGNET of late I think I'm reasonably qualified to observe that:

Unhappy people tend to feel a void in their lives and look OUTSIDE themselves to try and satiate the "Hole" - typically binge drinking or eating, needing a partner, escapism...well, the truth is you can never be content this way cos-like the age old cliche- Happiness comes from WITHIN!

And I can honestly say, from learning all these things first hand(the hard way), the only person you can rely on is yourself! So start Soul Searching and Helping Yourself! I'll allow myself this seemingly flippant insensitivity and also: "My ears need a vacation!!"

Now all the numerous trials and tribulations I have undergone which has been ALOT relative to my age...wow the mysterious destined nature of it all which I had always pondered is all becoming very clear now...

it is exactly what experience I needed to have under my belt in order to fulfil my life purpose of helping others to heal...sometimes I look back and wish, damn why can't I have just learnt it all by reading self-help books? LOL But it's not the same, without the first hand experience you don't have that vital compassion and understanding...

Here is a card I happened to randomly pick up which I really like. Note the Ducks- they're like my animal totem or something :)

On Depression Part 2

I think it ironic that the more I try to find Happy people, the more cases of depression I seem to be uncovering...I was describing (okay, whingeing) to my friend my draining past week re:depressed people overload when she just candidly admitted she was "one of those" to the extent of turning to drink and actually wanting to kill herself...and still has her moments! I was truly shocked...it was only then that it really hit me, wow this depression thing is waaaay more prevalent than ever I could have imagined...at the rate I'm observing- I'm guessing 8-9/10 people have had a major depressive episode in their life?

I wonder if I had known her any longer whether my intuitive antennae would have picked it up-if not, this is truly scary how it can completely pass 'under the radar'!

All this pain often goes untreated cos sufferers are too ashamed to tell people, seek help...they keep all this pain so well hidden! And then I realised, wow rather than sighing with despair and wanting to head for the hills, I should actually feel privileged that people would actually share these things with me!

To me it doesn't matter how many times I've heard it :P but it is always shocking when people so seemingly rational with such happy seeming lives confide that they're entertaining suicidal thoughts. Cos to me, straight up: not an option...maybe it's partially what kind of disposition you're born with or maybe it is partially a result of life perspective gained through having gone through more than your average bear but...really I don't believe there is anything SO BAD as to warrant taking one's own life...okay maybe in rare cases of human vegetation similar to Jean Luc Bauby etc. In cases like these I see Euthanasia (if so requested) as the Ultimate Compassion, but for things of a purely emotional basis I really believe it's just a) either traumatic event induced or b) brain chemicals out of whack...for both types I think holistic medicine is very effective and unfortunately sooo underutilised! I've seen multiple cases now of patients solely on western meds for both types of Depression and am to date, incredibly unimpressed- they may temporarily patch a leaking hole but the hole keeps growing bigger!!!

Now the prevalence factor amongst so many people I personally know is starting to really sink in, I definitely have renewed vigour to get deep and dirty into it and work out how to combat it....I think I just need to draw my boundaries better, lose this "empath" affliction and learn how to be a "detached observer"...so maybe that means only treating strangers and referring friends to a colleague...sometimes I guess that's what you need in order to properly do your thing!

On Depression

It's good to be on holidays. I actually have time to get more than 5 hours sleep (guilt-free!)

So anyway I'm now on this pro-active streak to look after myself properly so hopefully I have the ongoing discipline to keep it up once life gets majorly hectic again- 8 hours sleep when I'm not out, regular sleeping routine, eating routine etc...all those things I neglect when I get busy.

The thing I have to keep reminding myself is when I get run down, I can't even look after myself- so how can I care for others?!

Which brings me to the topic that has also been on my mind lately. Depression. Not me. But some people close to me. In any case, it is really frustrating for me too when those close to me suffer depression. For friends and family, it is like repeatedly hitting your head against a brick wall. And I'm not just talking about short term traumatic event-induced depression, I'm talking about the people who can't see past the black hole for months and months and years and years and who rationally (even from their point of view) have no reason to be depressed...I guess it's what gets classified as clinical depression- they're flat, unreactive and just completely withdrawn and closed off. I find myself always worrying when I don't hear from people like this.

You hear a lot of all those people that just end it yet their friends and family were quite oblivious to the signs...I can't judge but I find it hard to believe that people can just be so unaware. But then again, this world comprises all types- some people are just down right insensitive and don't possess the finely tuned intuitive antennae some of us ;) are blessed with!

Increasingly though it is another side effect of the rat-racey world. People get busy, self absorbed - they forget to check up on how their loved ones are and let's face it, everyone only has a few REALLY CLOSE people in their life who would even bother.

Anyway, along with chronic internal illnesses, I think depression is another area I want to specialise in later on, because it is well known that conventional western medicine is pretty ineffective in this area...sure they can give anti-depressants, mood-stabilizers etc, but after awhile the person develops a tolerance and what happens when they just don't take them and/or try to overdose...you can't just plug a leaky hole and expect the problem to go away. It is for things like this that TCM shines, targeting the root not just the symptom.

Anyhow here are two natural tips that may help improve mood...

>Go out and get some sun! Walking along the beach with the sand squelching between my toes and the wind whipping through my hair always does it for me!

>Try a bit of Yoga- apparently the Sun Salutation(Surya Namaska) is a good way to alleviate depression.

Wishing you a Happy Day! Namaste!*

* this is one definition I found LOL:
'I honour that place in you where the whole Universe resides. And when I am in that place in me and you are in that place in you, there is only one of us.' (Vancouveryoga.com)