Bye Bye SHY!

I know I usually document my anti-social introversion and social retardness in great depth to the ongoing amusement of my dear reader HO, but for a nice refreshing change I will document a small piece of success...or at least something that someone is definitely going to be SO PROUD of me about...the one amazing thing I did (well I think so) was I did a pretty good job of impostering an EXTROVERT(!) I also did something which on any given day in the past I would never have done and would have considered scary.

In any case my shy paralysis started wearing off about a week ago and since this week it just completely disappeared and now I find it a cinch to talk to anyone, make eye contact and even smile! *wow* I even could make polite small talk with people! and it was EASY....wow, wow, wow!

Anyway, that's what I call real PROGRESS. Well done to me! :)

Disclaimer: Of course that doesn't mean I am now a social whore and no longer like my own company and don't need lots of alone time...

I know what I want.

I think up until very recently my entire life has always wavered all over the place every which way scattering haphazardly in all directions, experimenting, exploring… the only thing I was ever really certain or sure of was that I always knew…WHAT I DON’T LIKE.

Recently I spent quite a bit of time in public settings e.g sitting on park benches, lazing at the beach contentedly watching people and the world go by….and today a sense of utter peace and calm and rock solid groundedness imbued itself in me…striking me with a certain sense of dejavu….perhaps like Eckhart Tolle attaining realization in his 29^th year?

And yes, this may sound arrogant & presumptious but I suddenly FEEL enlightened!

Unexpectedly it seems a new level of understanding or maturity was reached cos suddenly it seems like Everything is VERY CLEAR…interestingly I finally…KNOW WHAT I WANT!!!

Now I just need to work out how to get it…ALL. *lol, it’s just a bit exciting! :)

I can see your insides.

I showed my mate some cool thermographic pictures I got taken the other day sharing thinking "hey check out this cool technology" and he surprised me by saying "wow they're pretty personal and erotic they're even more personal then if you sent me naked pictures of yourself!" And this guy is a major porn-o-holic!

Bizarre...meanwhile I just see beautiful rainbow colours and am wondering how this may be related technology to that used in Kirlian cameras to take pictures of auras?

Anyway it puzzles me how most people my age guys or gals seem so sex obsessed and mating directed...it's kinda boring and gets old after an umpteenth conversation on the topic...my old soul mate reckons the dissonance with me is a soul age thing and that the majority of the world are younger souls so hung up on satisfying their most primal needs immediately... Maybe that's why I always found the majority of the world have not a whole lot too interesting to say...and I'm really quite contented preferring my own company hermiting in nature nine out of ten times. Most people think that is extremely boring, but it works for me ^^!

Another thing I noticed is I have eyes but what I see seems to be so different to what other people see. I can see someone but I don't really "look"...I can't actually quite remember if I met a whole lot of people before and have trouble recognizing people I know if they didn't actually indicate that they know me first if I've only met them once or twice. I think it's cos I don't really look but also...I just see straight THROUGH them. Hence what I actually "see" is their insides, not their outsides. Hence don't even bother asking me did you see that person...unless they had on some seriously interesting costume like an elephant trunk, green face paint, spock ears and a feather boa purple tail. Cos really exteriors aren't of much consequence...I'm already scoping and digging around your insides!

I felt I had this done to me by two other people this year who also share this "ability". I realised it felt invasive and I didn't like it but I can't help myself. That's just the way I am and have always been....It's actually super handy having an in-built "crap detector" so you can fast forward past all the facades people put on 90% of the time. Anyway, just one of those *fascinating* random thoughts I get and felt like blogging at 5am in the morning(!) I realise I have been neglectful of my blog recently so hopefully this *fascinating* post makes up for it somewhat...sorry HO, I know it's my duty to keep you somewhat entertained, so the munchkins don't get you, lol!

p.s One weird thing I noticed is I can't often recall what people look like but I always remember voices...and have like some kind of permanent voice archive stored in my memory bank...

Happy Belated Weekend!

Got drunk on fresh air at a sculpture festival by the harbour challenging myself with the DSLR to take decent/interesting shots despite the challenge of frenzied crowds and harsh lighting…(conclusion: there does seem hope for me and digital photography yet…sorry too lazy to upload pics as too difficult to cull a shortlist…)

Saw a really fantastic Danish film “Brothers” which goes straight to the “Highly recommended” list!

Sunday was especially nice - the first relaxing peace and quiet to MYSELF I’ve managed to get in a seriously loooong time. Woke up LATE ^^, indulged in two episodes of my favourite serial right now MAD MEN, had an organic gourmet lunch of spicy chicken, veggies and quinoa, treated myself to a dessert of red papaya and organic strawberries with dark organic chocolate *swoon*, chatted with my mate who’s such a legend he made my head hurt even worse from laughing so much it got deprived of oxygen, took a leisurely hot bath of seasalt and essential oils, took a nap in my seriously comfy bed…and finally resolved something from the recesses of my mind that had been niggling me for a while…ALL IN ALL a pretty good day! =)

Squealing Giggling Japanese schoolgirl...

have a l♡♡k!