Out of the Rat Race...Hallelujah!

I was sitting on the bus looking around at all the miserable wretched worn out faces of the work commuters around me who aren’t even sick but still sport panda eyes worthy of me-contention, cos of having to work so hard and such long hours to afford their affluent lifestyles and appearances, and had a minor revelation- yay that no longer is anything associated with me…finally, I am free of the rat race! I have freedom and TIME TO BREATHE!

And that my friends, was my happy revelation for the day…I think things DO all happen as they should…to be honest, now that I am out of that crap city lifestyle I really have no idea how I stood it that long especially the filthy air and all the filthy smokers! And then I realized if I really had globetrotted the world I would immediately have escaped out of the cities and into remote wilderness because the other hemisphere is way more dirty and populated than here! No, I’m actually kinda happy – in retrospect-to be grounded…cos I really NEED my clean air and space!!!

And plus with time to breathe I have time to enjoy just Being and do all the little things I never got to like help put together my little niece’s up and coming birthday bash-a fun creative task I am sure. I’ve also been cooking and discovering new healthful ingredients in line with supporting my limited diet which has actually turned out pretty tasty so not too painful at all- yay for good quality fresh organic produce! Not that I’m the least bit bored –if anything I have more to self occupy than needed but still feel tempted to find out if I can join a weekly local art class-something I’ve been wanting to so since having to drop out of art class in high school but never had the opportunity!

Moving as usual has been an ass but I’m happy to start to suspect this unintended “delay” may actually work out quite nicely after all…fingers crossed anyway. If anything I am actually enjoying the “time out” from normal disgruntled society…if anything their stress and bad vibes gets absorbed by me like a sponge and with nowhere to go festers and snowballs! I am actually glad for the no contact- peaceful, contented and easy going times- I’m liking!!!

I have a weakness for Goalkeepers.

So I'm watching extra time of the World Cup Final. And while I'm waiting for that all elusive goal (but am secretly hoping there won't be one so that it will go into sudden death Golden Goal time), I came to the following musing...

I have a weakness for Goalkeepers.

I think cos they have in large amounts all those traits I don't e.g courage and Heroism and bravery to stick their face in the boot of another and risk hard knocks and limbs at all costs etc...

Apart from that they are calm like nothing else. I would be paralysed or pee my pants in anticipation and stress from the amount of adrenalin oversaturation a situation like the World Cup final would create.

Apart from that I have a crush on all Strikers :)

Between the goal keeper and the strikers are all the most exciting and interesting parts of a match...I remember even when I played netball I only ever was interested in 3 positions: Goal Attack, Goal Defence and at worst, Goal shooter...cos it always seemed like they had the most share of the ACTION! All those supporting side peoples, while necessary, well it just didn't seem compelling enough for me to volunteer for. I could never see the point of running all around and expending my energy if there wasn't a very direct and tangible motivator like scoring or preventing a point myself! I guess it comes down to Big Ego. I'd guess that the Goalkeepers and Strikers carry most of the team's Ego on their back and that's probably what I identify with. In order to be able to play those positions well I think people have to have a fair bit of Ego which translates to confidence on the field...

oh and third on the list after goalkeepers and strikers would be the coaches- those silvery-white haired old guys in their suave business suits on the sidelines ever calm and in control seeming & barking orders....obviously there is a trend here...it's the people with power who are so attractive :P

Communications from "The Cave"

So it's 3:32am and I am staving off the major urge to want to drink water...I hate these fast things...I can do food but water is tough. Oh well good practice for another one Monday :p

So random bits and pieces from the week as I try to distract self from this feeling of parchedness in my mouth and body. If anything a good inspiration to tolerate it is the documentary I saw on Robert Bogucki -if anything his story is a testimony to God!

Another thing I have noticed since moving out of a Dero area and into a Poshy one is that Male Chivalry is Not Dead. Something my Girrrly Bday Twin loves the idea of, but something that makes me cringe with embarrassment...round these parts it's always "Ladies First, After You"....(Problem is, I feel a bit awkward cos I still don't see myself as a "lady"...hehe although I often feel like A boy...Girl I do MOST often think I am a Grandma so maybe that's what these peeps are picking up on-Proper treatment of the Elderly! hehe.

Speaking of my B'day Twin- she gave me the most Ego-Boosting Compliment the other day^^! Basically she was reflecting on all this time I've been Missing In (In)Action and concluded that Daily Life has become Dull and Lost its Colour without me around...Basically any other compliments will just slide down my back but being remembered as "interesting" will always give the Big Old Head a bit more unrequired aeration ;)

In other things, I've been surprisingly Busy- being sick is a full time job! So I never got around to curating an Online Art Exhibition yet- one of the ideas I had in the pipeline initially for how to keep myself entertained after examining two big ass Art Volumes my dad strangely acquired.

What else is up? Oh The World Cup of course! Poor, Poor Germany...says this Germanophile - to be honest though I am actually quite happy that Spain beat them cos they were getting a little too big for their boots especially after some of their thrashings...now I'm divided over which team to gun for in the finals...Do I go for the team with the cute orange striker or the team with which I love their culture? lol, what a dilemma!

Ha, and finally, that is my conclusion after so long with my boots up...most conversations, people and comments these days seem incredibly trivial during this somewhat deep, philosophical and spiritual time but then I remember...Triviality is what makes the edges of my eyes crinkle with delight from sheer amusement....I guess you gotta be in the mood though...too much of idle trivia can also get annoying especially when you want some depth and meaning...

So cheers to Bloggers and Blogging - delivering the best of both worlds! :)

T v F

The nighttime is always the hardest...cos everything flares and it is hard to be able to sleep cos so uncomfortable!

So I end up with more thoughts to write into blog posts...

I was analysing my newly imposed social interactions recently and why I find them so frustrating...apart from being reasonably socially unintelligent in favour of more idealistic ideals like truth and honesty and straightforwardness and not being similar to how the majority express themselves hence often misunderstood, I'm finding the main factor I can probably attribute the difficulty to is that on the Myers Briggs Scale I am a T (Thinking) preference, however I am living with strongly F(Feeling) preferences. The reason I came to this conclusion is that I found myself finding that people around me were so irrational and emotional all the time and I couldn't understand how, since when there are clear and objective facts and truths available that can be examined to draw conclusions, how people can totally disregard this kind of information...which strikes me as so emotion-driven and subjective and irrational!

I s'pose that is the major challenge of being a minority INTJ for me. It's that damn T preference, after that it's probably the minority I over E preference in a country like here and after that a tie between the N v S preference and the J v P preference....I think the J V P preference doesn't bother me that much. FYI, I am a strong I, strong N and weak T and weak J so if snything it is interesting that strong Fs bother me that much yet strong Js over Ps also rather than vice versa.

I guess if you're not familiar with Myers Briggs theories all that was just gobbledegook but hey this blog is for my own reflection...and I think after some time has passed I'm interested to see if my preferences have changed...I feel that I've sort of almost grown completely into my personality now and neither time nor circumstances is going to change these character preferences! (My mum still hopes somehow I might find my inner extroverted social whore...lol, really I think most success in society requires being somewhat extroverted or the ability to seem that way.)

On an unrelated note I finally got to see my new nephew and BOY is he cute! I think full asian babies are typically cuter than halfies, but halfies are always better looking...especially when they grow up, well at least most of them...especially when the cultural mix = polar opposites...he's too young for me to get a sense of his personality yet but yeah I'm glad for one more male...there's way too much estrogen in this family(!)...another thing I associate with more "irrationality", haha...we INTJ females should definitely be seen as honorary males ;)

Hmm I suddenly have a craving for scrambled eggs on vegemite toast- I wonder if I should entertain it...neh, too lazy...

I'm finding it a little challenging

living in the domain of young souls, aspiritual people, materially obsessed people...but hey the world is filled with all types...and we all need to cultivate tolerance, patience and forgiveness....*takes a breath and exhales*

Conclusion: I can only get to be an even cooler person from the exposure!

I do feel sorry however for people who are so insecure and attached to money that their daily life is governed by counting dollars and cents despite them having reasonable nests of golden eggs...I personally find it suffocating-this obsession-even by association...on another note I went to a High Anglican church today...it was beautiful especially the singing but I have to admit I felt quite out of place amidst such tradition and ritual(which was as archaic/formal as what you'd typically associate with the Catholic church)...even as an observer not a participant I felt awkward...I think I'm just a contradiction...old fashioned values/morals yet modern/progressive unorthodox and unconventional! No wonder I am like an alien in this society. Most people are either strictly a or b but i am an ab...I guess that would explain my bloodtype ;)...and its minority status :P